by Jordan Marie
“No, querida, you are not,” he replies, holding my hand to keep me from moving. “My orders are to keep you safe in the car, and I shall do that. Now, let the others see to the rest. We were expecting this. Trust me.”
I freeze and look at him. “Who gave you orders?”
He doesn’t answer.
The shots are going on outside, but they have slowed down. I’m dying to know what is going on. I reach over to roll the window down and Skull grabs my arm, again.
“I would not do that, querida.”
“Well I would. I want to know what is going on! We can’t just hide away in here while the others are risking their lives!” I argue, grabbing the gun I had put in the seat beside me. That’s when the pain hits. I scream.
“Que te duele, querida?” Skull asks.
“English!” I growl out, because it feels like a vise grip has locked onto my stomach. I feel warm fluid gushing down my legs. My water breaks. It can’t break, I’m not far enough along.
“Nicole, what is wrong?” Skull says, when I start crying.
“I think my water just broke.”
“No, jodas!”
Skull starts wadding up his jacket and bracing it at the door, then he slides me against it. I can’t really argue because I’m in pain. My eyes are watering, and I’m trying to remember how to breathe correctly, but there was never a shower of bullets going on at the Lamaze class. Hell, I only have two classes under my belt. I know next to nothing. Dragon said we had plenty of time, that’s just another thing he was fucking wrong about.
“Keep the gun trained at the door, and if someone opens it you do not know, shoot.”
I want to ask him if it just wouldn’t be easier to lock the doors, but the idea of getting to shoot Michael makes me happy—so I don’t. Besides, Skull seems a little freaked out. I can understand it, I am too. But he looks a little green, so I’m afraid to question him too much.
I train the gun at the door, trying to breathe in and out when another pain strikes.
“Oh God, another one. That’s really close together right? It seems like it’s really close together, Skull.”
He bends on the floor, and I wince because he’s leaning where my water broke. There goes his nice suit. I’d be embarrassed, but I’m hurting too much. I train my gun at the door because if it opens, I’m going to shoot first and ask questions later. Michael will not walk away from this breathing.
Skull reaches under my dress and I grab his hand.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Easy mujer, I am just going to take your underwear off. We need to see what is going on.”
“Oh, hell no, I don’t think so.”
“Querida, we need to know,” he says, as his hand is going back under my dress.
I use my free hand to stop at least one of his hands. I can’t get the other one because I’m clutching the gun. I’m starting to panic. There’s no way I want Skull to be the one who helps me here. Hell, I want to be at the hospital. It’s too soon to have the baby.
“If you want to help, haul your bony, Spanish ass up to the driver’s seat and get us to the damn hospital!”
He ignores me, and I feel his hand grab the side of my panties, and I can’t stop the scream that comes out.
“I said, no!”
The door is ripped opened. I grip the gun and tighten my finger on the trigger. I discharge the weapon, before I can register what I’m seeing. I scream out in shock as I focus on the face in front of me.
“What the fuck is going on in here?” Dragon growls.
Dragon. Is he real?
He dodges as the gun goes off, but the bullet still hits him. Skull is watching and as the bullet hits Dragon’s flesh, he fills my vision.
Skull’s head goes down. “Dios mio mujer, que hiciste!”
I don’t know what he said. I just have one word repeating in my head.
Dragon.
25
Dragon
I hear Nicole scream out and then yell, “I said, no!”
I lose my fucking mind. I trusted Skull to watch over her. What kind of shit is he trying to pull? When I yank the door open, the last thing I expect to see is my woman lying down in the limo seat with Skull bent over, and his head between my woman’s legs. His hand is up under her dress, and I am about to tear the motherfucker’s head off. That’s when I notice the gun wavering in Nicole’s hand and hear the discharge. I dodge the motherfucker, but I’m so close it tears into my upper shoulder. Son of a bitch hurts like fuck, but I ignore the pain, and grab Skull by the back of his neck, hauling his fucking ass out of the car. He yanks away from me, and I let him, turning to my woman. Rage is boiling inside of me.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
Nicole’s face is pale as a ghost. She just lays there, breathing hard. Motherfucker was Skull that good? I know it’s not rational, but you do not see what I just saw and be rational.
“Are you…Dragon, is that you?” she asks, and I suddenly remember she thinks I am dead. Which would have calmed me the fuck down, except there was a man between her legs.
“Yeah Mama, surprise, it’s me. I sure as fuck didn’t expect to see you getting it on in the back of a limo, pregnant with my baby, on the day of my funeral, with gunfire every-fucking-where.”
She squeaks. Starts to speak and then stops. She awkwardly rolls to sit up, flashing some black silk panties in the process. I guess I should be thankful she managed to keep them on. Then she slides out of the car and stands in front of me. I don’t know what I expected. A kiss? Her falling into my arms? Something, but I didn’t expect her to slap the shit out of me. She’s got some power in her hit, too. It rings my jaws.
“How the fuck are you still alive?”
“Gee? I don’t know, because I am? That don’t explain why Skull had his hands up your dress, Mama.”
“Oh my God! Are you being serious with me right now?”
“It don’t get much more serious than what I just saw, woman!”
She raises her hand to slap me, and I grab it this time. Oh, hell no, that’s not happening again.
“Don’t you dare slap me again, Mama. I gave you the first one, that’s it.”
“You gave it to me? Oh my God!” You insufferable….”
I should have been watching, but fuck, days of watching my woman hurt and not being able to hold her have taken its toll on me. The last two nights, I’ve snuck into her bed after she fell asleep, just to hold her. The way her eyes light up in anger now, grab my attention, and I can’t look away—even if I tried. Which is a shame because if I had been watching I would have seen her take her free hand, that still has the gun in it, and slam the butt of it into my balls.
Motherfucker.
Skull reaches over and grabs the gun and secures it. I would have done it, but I’m too busy grabbing my nuts and fighting to stand up.
“Did you just fucking punch me in the nuts with a loaded gun?”
“Yes! And I’d do it again if Skull would give me the damn gun back!”
“Woman! You could have shot my dick off!”
“Don’t give me any ideas!”
“What the fuck, Nicole? I figured you’d be upset I kept this hid from you, but hell you…”
“If I might interject…”
“Shut the hell up, motherfucker! I’ll deal with you in a minute.”
“That’s all well and good compadre, but perhaps you can finish your fighting for after we get to the hospital.”
“The hospital?”
“Well, as you have been shot and Nicole is in labor, it seems to me that would be the place to continue this…discussion, sí?”
“Labor?”
“Oh hell, I shot you,” Nicole says.
It’s then I notice the way Nicole is holding her stomach.
“Mama, let’s get you in the car,” I respond, trying to tap down the anger. I know it was stupid of me to jump to conclusions in the first place. Trouble is, when Nicole
is involved I don’t think logically.
Before I can help her, she yells, “No! Don’t you touch me!”
I freeze and step back from her. She looks around and her eyes stop on Dancer. “You knew, didn’t you?”
“Mama, we don’t have time for this right now. It’s too early for you to be in labor. We need to get you to the hospital.”
“Don’t you dare talk to me, Dragon! It’s your fault I’m in labor. What the fuck were you thinking by letting me believe you were dead? Do you have any idea what you did to me?” she cries out and tears are pouring down her face now.
“Damn it, Mama.”
We stop, as Bull and some other members pull up outside. Crusher comes out about that same time, and they are all staring at me, like they see a ghost. Probably because to them, I am.
“Bull? Did you know?” Nicole asks.
Bull’s eyes lock on mine and his body goes rigid.
“No, I didn’t, Little Mama.”
Oh fuck no. That is not okay, no one calls Nicole anything close to that. Before I can argue, Nicole speaks up again.
“Will you take me to the hospital?” she asks and I breathe a sigh of relief, thinking she finally has come to her senses.
I take a step towards her and stop when I realize that it’s not me she’s talking too. No, it’s Bull.
“What’s wrong?” Bull asks, getting off his bike.
“My water just broke,” she whispers, sounding more broken than I remember her being, even when she thought I was dead.
Bull sweeps in and lifts Nicole into his arms, like he’s carrying her over a threshold. The sight of it fuels my anger again, and I step up to stop this shit and shut it down, when Nailer grabs me by the arm.
“What happened to your arm, man?” he asks, but I know he’s keeping me from Bull. I may even understand why, but I don’t like it.
“I shot him!” Nicole calls out and those blue eyes I’ve always loved stare at me with so much anger they freeze me where I’m at. “And if he comes near me again, I’ll shoot more than just his shoulder.”
I watch as Bull loads Nicole up in his truck. My gaze stays right there until the truck is out of my line of sight.
“How the fucking hell are you standing in front of me?” Crusher asks. I turn away, not bothering to answer.
“Nailer, get me to the hospital.”
“Answer me, motherfucker, how are you standing here and none of us knew?” Crusher looks around at his brothers thinking they will join in. Trouble is they can’t. The only motherfuckers who didn’t know I was alive was him and Bull. It doesn’t take long for that shit to sink in.
“Oh, I see how it is.”
“Do you?”
“What the fuck man? I’m your VP! Bull’s your Enforcer! Where the fuck do you get off, not letting us know what is going on?”
That’s it. I snap. I’ve gone my limit.
“Tell me, motherfucker, why didn’t you bother letting me know what the fuck you were doing? Better yet, did you even try to get a hold of me after our call dropped, to tell me about the damn bomb? Did I know one thing about you killing a prisoner and burying his body? Did you clear one motherfucking thing with me?” I growl.
Crusher steps back, “Drag man…”
“While you thought I was dead, man, did you do one thing for this fucking club? Did you takeover in my stead like you were supposed to do?”
“Drag you got to understand, she needed…”
“I don’t have to understand a fucking thing. My woman is pregnant, and I still put the motherfucking club first. You’re done here.”
“Drag, man…”
“You are fucking done. Turn your motherfucking cut in.”
“Drag man, we should vote on this,” Hawk speaks up.
I turn and look at him. As a full pledged in member he has a right to call for a vote. I could veto it, but I’m too fucking tired to fool with it. I need to get to the hospital to see Nicole. She’s way too early in her pregnancy to give birth to our baby and she didn’t look good.
“Whatever. Lock him down. I need to get to my woman.”
“I’ll take you, hermano,” Skull says.
I haul off and punch him. It’s not as hard as it would have been if my woman hadn’t shot me, but it still gets my message across.
“What was that for?”
“For having your hands up my woman’s dress.”
“I was worried about the bebé.”
“Yeah, until I see an M.D. after your name, keep your fucking hands to yourself.”
With that, I turn and get in Nailer’s car. I imagined my homecoming a hell of a lot different. Instead, I’m heading to the hospital because my woman is in labor. I don’t have a woman, and I got nothing but a gunshot wound and sore nuts. Welcome home…yeah right.
26
Nicole
I’m lying in a hospital bed, staring up at the ceiling trying to figure everything out and coming up very empty.
Dragon’s alive. How can two words flood you with such joy and fill you with white-hot anger all at the same time? He’s alive. He lied all this time, and let me think he was dead. He let me grieve for him. He let me hurt. How do I forgive that? I don’t even know why he did it, but I know it was for the club. It’s just another example of him putting the club before me. I was hating myself because I put Dani first. Why? Apparently, it is completely okay to do that. There are no lines you can’t cross.
“Mrs. West?” The doctor comes in and Bull stands up. I don’t have the heart to correct the doctor with my real last name. I’m too damn tired. I had told the doctor I would be Mrs. West last time we talked. I was wrong—about so many things.
Bull’s hand goes to mine. He came back as soon as they dressed me in a hospital gown and got me settled into a labor room. Which is really just a private room in the hospital, equipped for delivery of the baby. I didn’t complain, and given that I’m scared to death. It’s good having him here with me.
The nurses placed these large bands around my stomach and are monitoring my contractions. They gave me some medicine through a drip to try and stop them. They aren’t as frequent, but they haven’t stopped. The only reassurance I have is the sound of the fetal heartbeat echoing from one of the machines. I like they are keeping track of the baby’s heartbeat. I need that, and Bull’s hand wrapped securely around mine right now. It’s all I have. I squeeze him tighter as the doctor looks at me, his face is solemn, so I know the news can’t be good.
“I’m afraid we’ve been unsuccessful in stopping the labor.”
Bull caps his free hand over our already joined ones.
“What does that mean?” he asks and I’m glad, because I can’t seem to find my voice.
“Realistically, we’d like for your wife to be at least another month along…”
“She’s my damned wife, not his.”
Dragon is standing at the door shooting angry glares at me and Bull. It’s okay, because I can give them back; I just have too much to worry about right now. The doctor looks startled. Someone should prepare him, because I have a feeling it’s only going to get worse.
“Coming back from the dead must have given you amnesia, because I left your ass at the altar. Please, continue doctor.” It would appear that with Dragon around, I find my voice relatively easily. It also helps that my anger at him gives me something to focus on, rather than the fear I have for my baby.
The doctor clears his throat, looks back between Dragon, me, and Bull nervously, but continues.
“As I was saying, ideally, we would prefer you to be another month along, but healthy babies are delivered every day at 28 weeks and above.”
My hand goes to my stomach, and I rub it gently. I’m terrified. That’s probably the only reason I let Dragon come over and place his hand on top of mine, blanketing our child together. Now is not the time for our fight. We need to concentrate on the baby.
With that decision made, I look at the doctor.
“We chos
e this hospital based solely on the abilities of your NICU and reputation. So, I have to trust you. Doctor?”
“Yes?”
“Will my baby survive?”
“I can’t give you surety Mrs. We…Nicole. Based on the ultrasound and records you’re at twenty-seven weeks. This means the baby’s lungs are developing. He’s started producing a substance called surfactant. This will help keep the lungs inflated when he’s born. That increases his chances tremendously.”
I can’t stop the tears that come. It feels like all I’ve been doing lately is crying, but none have been more terrifying than these. I can’t lose my baby. I can’t. Up until this point, I thought they would be able to stop it. I know that’s naïve, I should have known when my water broke, but I was still functioning with hope—you would think after the last two weeks, hope would have fled.
“Nicole, babies are amazing in their resilience. Today, a preemie that was born at twenty-eight weeks is having this G.I. tube removed and eating completely on his own.”
His words should bring me comfort, and they do in a way. Still, I picture this tiny baby with tubes and wires and the tears fall again.
“We’re going to prepare a surgical room for a cesarean. I know you wanted a natural child birth, but we want the delivery to be as comfortable and stress free as possible for the baby.”
“O…okay.” I’m doing my best to hold the tears back, but I can’t. One hand is grasping Bull’s and the other is still allowing Dragon to hold it. I’m weak.
The doctor gives me a kind smile and then leaves. My eyes close; the tears still falling, and I try to breathe slowly. I don’t want Little Dragon to know I’m upset. I’m sure he’s had enough of that lately. Dragon kisses my tears. I want to melt into him and trust him to make it all better, but I can’t. I can’t trust him. He betrayed me. I turn my face away to look at Bull. He squeezes my hand.
I need someone to tell me it will be okay. No one can. So, I pray.
I just pray.
27
Dragon