“I wouldn’t know.” She cocks her head. “I’m a foster kid.”
Her face pales. Hopefully, that’s enough to freak her out to signing my papers off. “So is it okay? Can I perform in two days?”
She does some more exercises while staring at me, and the muscles in my legs are so tight, I’m sure if I release them, I’ll release the scream I can feel deep in my throat.
“Yes, you’re fine. But if the pain gets higher than five, I want you to come straight back in. We can’t let you get an infection or anything, okay?”
“Okay, I promise.”
“Good. Well, follow me, and I’ll sign off your paperwork.”
I was up and out of my seat before she could even finish her sentence.
As soon as we reach the parking lot, Kingsley faces me, and I know he’s about to lecture me. “Save it.”
“Maddy,” he says firmly. “You could permanently damage your hand if it’s not completely recovered.”
“I’ll be fine.”
He grimaces, opens the car door for me, and I slip in. I look at my scars. They’re thick and raw. Kingsley sits in the driver’s seat and starts the car. He doesn’t speak as he drives, and I welcome the stillness.
Kingsley
I quicken my step and open the car door for her.
“God, anyone would think I’m royalty.”
“Just get out of the car, Maddison.”
“Maddison?” She raises her eyebrows. “Am I in trouble?”
Yes, you’re in trouble, I feel like saying. I sigh and hold out my hand for her to take.
Nick greets us at the door. “Perfect timing, your parents just left.”
“Good.”
“Hungry?” He looks at Maddy. “Stupid question.” He smiles then turns for the kitchen. “I’ll call you when it’s ready.”
We walk to my room, and as soon as we enter, she stops. “What’s your problem, Kingsley?”
“What? Nothing.”
“Yes, I can tell. Something’s up.”
“There’s nothing wrong.” Everything’s wrong. You’re already going to hate me enough, but if you damage your hand and can’t permanently play the cello, God, you’re going to fucking want to kill me.
She runs up and jumps in my arms. “Good, because I don’t like seeing that frown.” She smooths out my skin between my eyebrows with her fingers, and just the touch sends my body into a shudder.
“Kiss me,” she whispers.
Maddison
A tear drops from his eye, and it hurts me so much. I kiss it away. “What’s wrong?”
He holds himself up on his elbows above me and shakes his head. “Nothing.”
I frown, bringing both my hands up to his face, and cup his warm, soft cheeks. His eyes close, and he blows out a breath. “Hamish, what’s wrong?” I whisper. He doesn’t open his eyes, but another tear defies him. I don’t like it, whatever it is. I pull myself up and press my lips to his. He responds by groaning and kissing me back harder.
I want whatever pain he’s feeling to go away. My kisses become more desperate. I’m messing up his hair and gripping onto him so tight.
He grabs me by the waist. His finger hooks under the elastic of my panties, and he slides them down my legs and follows with his lips leaving a trail of kisses across my bare skin, and a layer of goosebumps over my body.
When he comes back up, he still has that same sadness in his eye. His hands find my waist again, and his gaze pierces mine. I don’t move under him. I don’t speak. I don’t risk shifting my gaze. With every second that slips by, I can see the conflict clearer in his eyes. When his grip becomes firmer, I can feel the desperation. He sucks in a deep breath, then pulls my hips towards him at the same time he thrusts himself into me. I let out a moan, and he does it again and again.
“I will always be here for you.”
I can barely make out the words, but my heart beats faster in reciprocation.
I grab him by the neck and pull him against me. Our lips touch, and our breath collides. “I will always be here for you,” I say against his kisses, and he moans. His hand grabs under my knee, lifting my leg higher, and somehow he thrusts deeper.
Kingsley
I feel her wriggle in my arms, but I hold her tighter.
“Hamish,” she murmurs, and I smile. I run my fingers up her bare back, and rest my arm over her shoulder, cracking one eye open. She pulls my hand down and presses her lips to my palm. I groan and roll over onto my back.
“What are you doing to me?” I murmur.
“So, now you understand once you start stealing, it’s almost impossible to stop?”
I laugh and drape my other hand over my face. “I fucking understand.” I feel her breath beside my ear, and I stir again.
“So we can be like Bonnie and Clyde?”
I pull her onto my chest, startling her, and she laughs. “We can be whoever you want to be.” I nuzzle my head into her neck, and she arches her back. Her alarm goes off, and I grumble. “Do you feel like robbing a bank now?”
She pokes her tongue out, and it touches my lips, then she stands up. “Later, right now we have to get to practice.”
I groan and fall back into my pillow.
“Come on, Kingsley. We only have two more days, and then it’s my audition. They won’t give me another chance.”
I sigh, open my eyes, and she’s already changed. I push the blankets off, pull myself out of bed, and as I pass her on my way to the shower, I kiss her on the cheek.
“Meet me in the kitchen,” she says, as she shuts the door behind her.
Maddison
“Morning, Maddy,” Nick says from the stove.
“Morning, Nick.”
“Perfect timing.” He smiles.
“I’ve been brought up to smell food from a mile away.”
He laughs, but I don’t think he really knows much about my background. I smile back. “How long have you been a chef?”
“I started training when I got out of college. This was my first job out. Haven’t moved since.”
“You must like it.”
He doesn’t say anything, and then he peers at me over his shoulder. “Some days I want to quit, but then I think of Haym.”
“So, you really are like an older brother to him?”
He nods. “I see him as my little brother, yes.” He places eggs, bacon, veggies, croissants, and an assortment of drinks in front of me. “Can I say something?”
I look up, swallowing back the water in my mouth, and nod.
“I’ve never seen him so happy.”
I smile because that makes me even happier. But he wasn’t happy last night.
“What happened to him, Nick?”
Nick presses his hands onto the bench, lets out a breath then looks up at me. His eyes are wide, and I can tell just how much he loves this boy. “Has he told you . . .” He pauses, rubbing a hand over his stubble, then meets my gaze again, and it’s so tense I can’t look away even if I tried. “Has he told you about Sarah?”
I nod, and his shoulders fall slightly.
“That girl was his life. He was the best brother anyone could dream of, and just one moment of acting like a child destroyed him.” He rubs a hand down the side of his face, and it meets the bench again, but a bit harder, like he purposefully released some of his rage.
“He was just a kid, Maddy.” I can see the torment in his eyes, and it’s tearing me apart. I could never imagine the pain Kingsley lived with. “Have you seen that scar on his chest?”
I nod again, wondering where this is going, and as I watch his expression fall even more, I don’t think I want to know anymore.
He lets out a shaky breath and says, “When he was fourteen, he tried to kill himself—he found Craig’s gun.” He sighs. “He shot himself.”
Tears stream down my cheeks. My breathing is shortening and a crushing weight settles on my chest.
“I found him.” He brings his hand to his eyes as if he’s stopping the tea
rs from starting. “I could never leave him. I’ve been all he’s had. But now . . .” His hands fall again. “But now, I’ve never seen him so happy. He has you.”
I’m shaking my head and trying to wipe the tears away, but they won’t stop. I understand his pain, how hard it must have been to let me in. But now, I understand how hard it is for him to let go. To move on.
“Thank you, Nick. Thank you for being there for him.”
He smiles, and reaches over the bench, clasping my hand in his. My tears have stopped, and as we make eye contact, we share a silent agreement that we will both make him happy.
“You trying to pick up my girl?” Kingsley says from behind as he slides his hands around my waist and plants a kiss on my cheek.
“How could I resist?” Nick smiles at me, and Hamish laughs. He sits on the seat beside me and starts filling his plate. I do the same and avoid eye contact. I know my face will be red and blotchy. Nick talks to Kingsley, and I gather myself.
I realize we are similar in more ways than one. Before finding each other, we were both alone.
Maddison
“How’s that hand of yours?” Mr. Barner asks.
“It’s still recovering,” Kingsley says, and Mr. Barner frowns.
I glare at Kingsley, but his firm expression doesn’t fold. “It’s fine,” I say stretching out my fingers. I run my thumb over the wound, and even the touch sends a small lick of pain tearing up my arm, but I don’t show it.
Mr. Barner grumbles, “Okay. Well, I need to know if—”
“I’ll be there.” I sit in my seat with the cello between my legs, pulling it closer. Kingsley’s eyes haven’t moved from my face. “Are you ready?”
He lets out a breath then opens the lid to the piano, turning away from me. I bring my hand up, gently placing my fingers on the strings, and start playing softly.
I let my hands fall into my lap, and Kingsley is in front of me in an instant. “Are you okay?”
My hand is spasming. I stretch out my fingers. “I’m just tired.” I look at the clock, and we’ve only been playing for half an hour. How am I meant to perform at my best in two days?
Kingsley frowns. “I think we better go home.”
“No,” I say quickly, and his jaw tightens. “Let me just have a break.”
He folds his arms across his chest and watches me.
“I never did thank you for the cello.”
His frown turns into a coy smile. “You thanked me all right.”
I shake my head and shove him with my uninjured hand. He takes a seat opposite me. “How did you buy it without your dad noticing, anyway? I know how much it cost.”
He shrugs. “I used money from my personal account.”
He had thirty grand in his personal account?
He must have seen the shock and confusion spread across my face because he explains. “My parents gave me a percentage of the company when I was born, and each year I’m paid a dividend. I’m not allowed to use it until I turn twenty-one unless I have a parent sign for it, so I just asked my mom when she was wasted.” He grins. “She doesn’t remember a thing.”
I suddenly feel sick. “Kingsley—”
“Don’t. It’s my money. I can spend it how I like.”
“You should be spending it on, I don’t know, your college degree.” He laughs, and I frown. “What?”
“I’m not going to college.”
“What?”
“I don’t know what I want to do, Maddy.”
“What do you mean you don’t know what you want to do? What’s going to happen to us if I get into Juilliard?”
“I can stalk you if you want.” He smiles.
“Kingsley, I’m serious. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. My father wants me to go to Cornell and study economics, but I’m not sure what I want to do.”
“What about the piano? Have you thought about auditioning to Juilliard?”
He shakes his head. “No, I can’t do that.”
“Why? Because of your dad? I know how the piano makes you feel. You’re good, Kingsley. You really could get in if you wanted to, and on pure talent, not from one of your daddy’s rich friends.”
“My dad wouldn’t ask his friends in the first place. He doesn’t want me to do that.”
“Who cares what he wants? Do what you want.”
His shoulders relax, and he takes my hand, massaging it in the places the doctor showed him. I ease back into my seat. “You really are my savior, you know that?”
“Yeah, I know.” I smile, and he chuckles. “All right, let’s get back to practice.”
He presses his lips to my scars, then he releases my hand and moves back to the piano.
I look up and another half hour has passed. I’m happy with that. All I have to get through is forty-five minutes. I can do it. There’s still a few more hours to practice, but I need to leave now if I want Kingsley to let me go on my own. I stand up and lock my cello in the cupboard. “Are you finished?”
I nod. “I need to go home. I have to see my brother and sisters.”
“Okay, come on.” He takes hold of my uninjured hand, and we make our way out of the school. As soon as we reach the parking lot, I tug out of his grasp. “You can’t drop me off.”
He spins around. “Why not?”
“You just . . . can’t be seen where I live.”
“If it’s that dangerous, I’m not letting you go by yourself.”
“Hamish.”
“Maddison.”
“You’re not taking me, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
His eyes are deep and begging, but I hold my ground. “I’ll be fine.”
“That’s what you say every time, and every time something happens. Maddy, I can’t—”
“Not every time, and the sun’s still up, people are still out. I’ll be fine.”
His jaw tightens, and his posture goes rigid. I think he gets that I’m not going to change my mind.
I lean forward and brush my lips against his. As I’m about to turn away, he grabs me by the wrist. “Call me.”
I roll my eyes and walk away. “You’re being clingy again.” I call over my shoulder with a grin plastered across my face.
Kingsley
“Oh, look who decides to show up,” Toby shouts from the field. “Your girl finally let you off that leash, huh?” He laughs with the others. I ignore him. I knew it was coming.
I approach Cam and he smacks my back. “Haven’t seen you for a while.”
“Why is everyone acting like I’ve disappeared from Planet Earth?”
Cam laughs. “Maybe ’cause you have.”
“Kingsley!” Coach calls from the sideline. I jog towards him. I’ve been expecting this. “I haven’t heard or seen you in a few weeks. What the hell is going on?”
I don’t have an excuse. I can’t tell him why. Even though I do feel guilty, I don’t care enough for it to affect me.
He grabs the metal bars across my helmet and pulls me towards him. “We’ve got our biggest game this weekend. You need to be there.”
I nod, and he lets me go. “You’re not captain anymore. Dougie is. Now get on the field.”
I don’t blame him for revoking my captaincy, and to be honest, it’s kind of a relief. Maybe now everyone will get off my back.
Just as I’m about to head back on the field, I stop dead in my tracks and turn around.
“Good to know I still take your breath away.” Rebecca paces towards me with a few girls behind her. They’re cheering for Dougie out on the field.
“You’re back,” I say. She stops a few feet in front of me. She’s wearing tight denim shorts and a loose white top, highlighting the glow she got in Australia.
“I am.”
Fuck.
“It seems like I missed an eventful couple of weeks,” she says with a menacing smile. I don’t like that smile. I know how much destruction it withholds.
I can hear a few whistles and
shouts from the field.
“Two girls at once!”
“Maddy isn’t going to like this!”
She must hear what I do because she stiffens. Her lips purse, and her eyes narrow as she shoots a glare over her shoulder towards the field at the same time as I do. I see Toby laughing and Cam just watching, amongst all the others. Her head whips back to mine.
“I heard all about what happened.” Her cheeks are a bright red, and the anger is burning flames in her dark brown eyes. She steps forward pressing her finger to my chest. “I also heard that girl is your new fuck buddy.”
My jaw clenches and I growl, but she doesn’t seem to get the message. Her finger taps my chest twice then drops to her side. “I wonder if she knows about your extracurricular activities.”
I grit my teeth at the same time my heart rate picks up. Rebecca may act stupid, but I know she’s much smarter than what she shows, and her memory’s just as sharp as those snarky comments that slip out of her mouth. She was with me most times I gave Cynthia her drugs. She’s most definitely not an idiot, and by the glint in her eye, I can say for sure that she is maybe the smartest out of them all.
“Ahh, I take that as a no. Or maybe a yes.” She frowns as if she’s studying me. “She does know, but has her stupid brain put the pieces together?” She laughs. “God, you’re like an open book, Kingsley. I really am surprised she hasn’t figured it out.”
“Don’t you dare say anything,” I hiss.
The corner of her mouth quirks up into a menacing smile, and my gut sinks. “But I’d love to see that smug face fall.” She raises her hand, and cups my cheek, “Don’t worry, honey, your secret’s safe with me.” She turns back to the girls behind her who are cheering on the sideline.
I stand there motionless until Coach yells at me to get on the field.
Maddison
I shift Tilly off my chest and into my arms when my phone vibrates on the floor beside my bed. “Shit,” I mutter. I stretch over the side, and the tips of my fingers glide over the screen. I hold my breath and stretch further. I grab it with two fingers and bring it up, letting out that breath.
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