by V. F. Mason
As I gazed at the ceiling, the air conditioner running loudly and the sounds of machines beeping all around me, I closed my eyes, imagining my Sapphire beside me.
Had she been here, her hands would slowly stroke my chest as she kissed every cut and every scar. Her head would have been nestled in the crook of my neck as she breathed in my scent, allowing me to keep her enclosed in my arms.
Sapphire.
My Sapphire.
Andrews was wrong.
Luck had nothing to do with my fate, never did. Based on my past, luck didn't welcome me much.
Who the fuck cared, though?
Whatever I wanted in life, I got.
And I wanted nothing more than to walk toward my woman as she greeted me with love in her eyes.
Sapphire
My body still shook from his touch as shivers ran down my spine. My lips were swollen from his kisses, and my skin felt like it was on fire. I couldn't imagine a woman who could resist a man like him, especially since I discovered I totally dug his beard, which felt heavenly against my skin.
Calming my rapidly beating heart and wiping my sweaty hands on my shorts, I started for the living room, where Damian sat on the couch listening to Kristina sing upstairs. That meant we had approximately five minutes before she showed up here, racing like crazy with her dog on her heels. Funny how Lucky was only a part of our routine for one night, but I could pretty much predict his crazy ways.
"What's with you and purple?" Rosa questioned, as her fork snagged a bite of cake. Swinging her leg back and forth, she occupied the kitchen chair, one leg on the floor while the other was under her. "Literally everything is that color."
Shrugging my shoulders, I poured myself some soda. "That's my favorite color, and since it's my house," I emphasized, "I do as I please."
She raised her hands in defeat. "Okay, okay. Geez. Chill. You're almost as bad as mister grumpy here. You should have seen him when I nursed him back to health. Freaking annoying." I blinked several times, and my jaw almost hit the floor with her admission.
Damian was by my side in an instant. "Sapphire."
I took a step back, crossing my arms across my chest. "She did what?" So it meant the chick saw him naked because that was involved with tending wounds, right? She touched his skin, slept next to him?
The green-eyed monster that took me hostage earlier came back viciously, just when I decided to accept her presence in our lives despite the less-than-warm welcome from her. God, what was going on with me being possessive and obsessive? Was it rubbing off on me from Kristina and Damian? How did they live with those crazy feelings?
"Yes, she was the one who saved my life." His jaw ticked as his eyes narrowed on me. "Would you have preferred me to die?"
His words were like a bucket of cold water poured on me, and we both stilled. His hand tried to touch me, but I leaned away from it. "For me, you did die, didn't you?" I whispered, and something like agony and regret flashed through his eyes, but we were interrupted by Rosa yet again.
"'Sapphire.' That's what he kept saying while both unconscious and conscious. You were all he thought about all the freaking time. Nothing much has changed now. But as I look at you, you're both crazy." She chewed her cake and murmured, "Your kid is here by the way." We both turned to Kristina at the stairs, her eyes watching us curiously.
Okay, you aren't a scorned woman right now. You're a mama, so act accordingly.
Plastering a smile on my face, I walked to her, picked her up, and placed her onto my hip, smelling the toothpaste in her mouth. "All done?" She nodded, and we plunged onto the couch as she giggled. Damian still stood in the kitchen, so I motioned with my hand for him to come closer, and in an instant, he was there, settling on the chair at Kristina's other side. Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, my fingers raised her chin so we could hold eye contact. "Honey, there is something we need to talk about with you." Nervousness hit me like a ton of bricks, and I withheld the desire to bite my nails. I wasn't sure how people advised breaking news to your child, but knowing my kid, telling her the truth straight up was probably best. "Munchkin, this is Henry." Using his fake name for now would do; we couldn't risk our safety no matter what. Once she got to know the truth, we could be open with her as much as we wanted. She rolled her eyes.
"I know, Mama; he's the good neighbor who gave us Lucky and bought me toys." His face darkened, clearly not liking his description much.
"Right, baby. But you see… he isn't just a neighbor." Taking a deep breath, I found the strength for this conversation, fully knowing how important and life changing for my child it was. "He's your daddy." She froze, her sapphire eyes widening as her gaze shifted from me to him, confusion written all over her face. "Remember how I told you that Daddy had to go away? Well, he did, and he is back. And he would love to be your daddy." Silence fell over the house after my words. Even Lucky whimpered and lay down at my feet, his paws covering his muzzle.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
The sound of the kitchen wall clock grated on my nerves, and I was ready to hit it with something when Kristina spoke up at last. "Where were you all this time?"
Damian gulped, kneeled in front of her, and answered gently, his watchful eyes catching any reaction she had. "I had to fix some things before I could come back to you and your mama, but I missed you every day." Their eyes were locked on each other for several moments while I was afraid to breathe, not really knowing how to support my baby in this. It was hard to come up with the perfect solution for a situation you never anticipated.
Kristina leaped at him, circling her small arms around his neck and clutching him tightly, while he wrapped his arms around her middle. His hands fisted behind her with the depth of emotions he was experiencing. I barely held my tears at bay, because what mother didn't secretly dream of seeing her daughter being loved so much by the man who helped create her? "Don't go again, Daddy. Everyone thinks I'm a freak."
My brows furrowed; my anger spiraled at this information. "Who thinks you are a freak, munchkin?"
She rested her cheek on his shoulder and shrugged. "Ruby and Adelaide said everyone has a daddy when I told them I didn't. They think it's impossible not to have one, so they called me that. Even Jason." She wrinkled her nose in distaste. Who had a crush on a boy who said such things? "What does it mean, Mommy?"
Damian's face transformed to murderous as he rose with her in his arms and looked at her. "I won't go away." Then his eyes briefly met mine. "Not again." Another promise he intended to keep, but I looked away, not ready to talk or think about us.
"Could you read me a bedtime story, Daddy?"
His mouth spread in a happy grin when she called him that, and he nodded. "Sure, baby girl."
She wiggled in his arms, so he put her back on her feet, and she hugged me. "Mama, goodnight. Daddy will put me to bed." Then she waved to Rosa. "We can go shopping again tomorrow!" She high-fived her in the air and then dragged Damian upstairs, an eager Lucky on their heels.
I settled deeper into the cushions, closed my eyes, and rubbed my forehead to soothe the tension still running inside me. That was it? No tears, no further questions? She just accepted it and immediately decided to make him part of her routine. Was it normal? And more importantly, why hadn't I noticed that she somehow suffered from the lack of a father figure in her life? Why wasn't there a book that taught you how to be a perfect parent? This situation felt anticlimactic for sure. I'd expected another reaction.
"Overthinking." Snapping my eyes open, I almost jumped in place when Rosa crashed next to me on the couch, holding a cup in her hand and placing her feet on the table. "The kid is happy she has a dad."
I huffed in annoyance. "And who are you? A voice of reason?"
She grinned. "Well, I've been called that before, but sure, AVR for short." She burst out laughing, and I couldn't help but join her. Something about this chick made me like her a bit; at least when jealousy didn't fog my mind. "So are you guys having hot sex tonight? B
ecause I'll just leave now, although your place is way cozier. Our house has nothing but lame-ass furniture." It was easy to believe, considering Damian's apartment back in New York didn't have much decor either.
"He'll go home."
"Okay." Then she suddenly sprinted to my bookcase, clasping her hands in front of her. "You have paperback editions of S. Victoria Fray?" She took out my latest novel and ran her fingers over the glossy cover. "I've been dying to read this one! It's not even out on Kindle yet. How did you get it?" Well, shit.
Back in the day, I really dreamed about becoming a children's book writer, and all the stories in my head had to do with adventures. However, when I was still pregnant with Kristina, a story popped into my head about a woman private investigator who fell in love with a villain. It's not hard to guess where I got my inspiration, and from that, my popular series erupted. So although I did publish kids' books, half of my time was spent on romance thrillers. The book in her hands would be published in a month, but my agents sent me several copies to have in my collection.
Rosa studied my face tentatively, then looked back at the books and then me, and it was like a bulb lit up in her head. "Noooo," she exclaimed in disbelief. "You're the writer? God, I love this series." She waved the book in her hand. "Keeping this one. You made me wait five months for it."
"Technically, it was the publisher."
She dismissed my argument. "Whatever. S stands for Sapphire, right? But why Victoria?" This girl had to be seen to be believed, asking me so many questions, but what the hell? I ended up answering her anyway.
"That's my grandmother's name. Fray was her maiden name."
She cocked her head. "You liked her or something?"
A chuckle escaped my mouth. "No, she was awful. I just couldn't come up with a good pen name and, in the last moment, decided to use it. It turned out okay." She grinned again. Half lying on the chair, her knees resting on the arm, she opened the book and forgot herself in my story.
My world went completely crazy in the span of twenty-four hours. Pressing my head deeper into the soft pillow, my eyelids heavy, my mind drifted away as exhaustion drained me.
Damian
With my back against the headboard, Kristina half lay on my chest as we read Beauty and the Beast. "And then they lived happily ever after." I finished for the second time, and she sighed happily.
As I had discovered for the last thirty minutes, it was her favorite story, and half of her room was decorated with Belle, the Disney version of this princess. The story had to be read twice with no breaks, and half of the time she retold the stuff that happened with excitement in her face. I couldn't help but see some parallels between the Beast and me, although all he had to do was build a fucking library for his girl and she relented. Had I known it worked for wooing, I'd have built Sapphire one a long time ago. "Will you go now?" her tiny, curious, yet scared voice asked, and I looked down, noticing for the first time real fear in her eyes.
Her reaction to the news of me being her dad was surprising at best. For sure, I wasn't expecting such a warm welcome, not to mention the deep contentment that rose in my chest every time she called me daddy. Lying with her and putting her to bed was a dream come true for me. Picking her up and placing her on my lap, I raised her chin high. "I have to go so you can sleep. But I promise tomorrow we will spend the day together, okay?" She nodded eagerly. "And even if I have to go somewhere, I'll always come back." S wasn't getting me or taking away my chance at happiness ever again. He could go fuck himself.
Kristina frowned and then grimaced. "Why would you have to go?"
I had no fucking clue how to handle this tricky parenting question. "Daddy has something to take care of, and then I'll be with you and Mommy all the time." Her mouth gaped open as excitement crept in.
I wasn't sure it made me happy, and my assumption was proved right with her next words. "Does this mean you and Mommy will get married?" Patting her head gently, I flipped her onto the bed, which made her giggle, and tickled her stomach a bit.
"Hopefully. First, I need to convince her to give me a chance." She threw the book at me. "Daddy, build her a library. Belle loved that." I laughed, covered her with a blanket, and pressed a kiss on her forehead.
That's when the flashback assaulted me.
"Boys, it's time to go bed." Dominic and I shared a look and tried to run away, but Dad caught us around our middles and rose, spun around, and dumped us on the bed to our delight. "Your mama won't be happy if you are awake. And if the wife ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." He nodded and then kissed both of us soundly. "Sweet dreams."
"We love you, Daddy," we said in unison, like half of the stuff we did. He winked as his soft eyes scanned the surroundings, making sure everything was fine. "Love you too, boys." He turned off the light, closed the door, and his footsteps were heard on the marble floor as he probably went to the living room to sit with Mommy a bit longer.
A few hours later, loud screams woke us up, which was the beginning of the end.
"Daddy, are you okay?" Kristina's voice snapped me out of my memories, the memories my mind had tried so desperately to forget, but couldn't.
Not when they proved my parents did love us. If my dad felt even a fraction of the emotions for Dominic and me as I do for Kristina, then no wonder Mama couldn't live without him and us. I used to get angry with her for taking her life because of her grief, from losing hope. But was it possible to keep your sanity if the man you loved died and your two boys were presumed dead as well? Smiling down at my kid, I caressed her cheek softly and reassured her, "Yes, baby girl, I've never been better. Sleep tight." She nodded, instructed me to leave the bedside lamp on, and I left the room as sleep claimed her instantly.
Walking down the stairs, I came to a halt when I saw Sapphire asleep on the couch, her face innocent as her chest rose and fell, her hand under her head. The position didn't look comfortable, and she'd probably have a sore neck in the morning if she stayed that way. With a fascinated expression, Rosa eagerly flipped the pages of some book. "She has been out for about thirty minutes."
Without reply, I scooped her up in my arms, went to her bedroom, and gently placed her on the bed. I kissed her on the lips, and she gasped but went back to sleep, clearly attuned to my touch even in her sleep. And that pleased me greatly. Checking the house a few times to be certain that it was locked up, and my girls would be safe, we left the house as Rosa bitched about having her reading interrupted because she couldn't take the book without Sapphire's permission.
As I lay in bed that night, I cherished the fact that I could freely give affection to my kid, but I wondered if her mother would let me back in her life for good.
Sapphire
"But can I—"
"No."
"But, Mommy—"
"Kristina, it's a no. You've had enough sweets today."
She scowled at Damian, who stood in the doorway, watching our argument with interest. "Tattletale," she hissed at him, and I had to clasp my mouth with my hand so she wouldn't hear my laughter. "You promised not to tell Mommy about ice cream two days in a row!"
Amusement crept in. "He didn't, baby girl. He just mentioned cake and candy." Her eyes grew huge at my stern look, and she opened her arms wide. "What can I say? I can't resist tasty treats!" She was so freaking cute in her neon dress and two braids that it was almost impossible to withhold my reprimand, but I couldn't budge here. Allowing our daughter to eat candy from time to time was one thing. But without anything healthy in her stomach all day long? Nope.
"Me neither," Damian murmured, but his focus was on me, and his eyes filled with heat, indicating he didn't mean the sweets at all.
Well, at least a different kind. "Go wash your hands. Dinner is ready." She huffed but agreed and then turned to her dad. "Thank you, Daddy, for the trip!" Kissing him on the cheek as he leaned down, she snatched the bag from his hand, almost shaking it with excitement. "These are my presents, Mommy!" With a triumphant shout, she ran to her room foll
owed by our chuckles.
Damian decided to take her out somewhere today, and although he invited me to go with them, I declined. They needed some time alone, and I understood it; plus, it allowed me time to finish several chapters for the book, which my hectic mind wouldn't let me sit still to do before. They went to the zoo; she sent me several pictures from there from his phone. Then apparently, they stopped at every good treats parlor. Popcorn, cotton candy, and ice cream, no wonder she was so hyperactive through their trip. They were gone nearly seven hours, and the sun was about to set. Come bedtime, she'd probably be out quicker than usual.
"How are you?" he asked. It didn't escape my notice the way he searched my face for some clue, but he would find none.
I just wasn't ready. "I'm okay." Clearing my throat, I continued, "You're probably tired too. I'm sure Rosa got lonely as well." This was a flat-out lie, because the minute they left, she came over and bugged me about the plot for my new book. I refused to give her any information, so she stuck around, rereading some oldies, and then she even looked over my shoulder for some clues as I was writing. No sense of personal space, no joke. Finally bored, she declared she wanted to watch the soaps and went back to her house.
We had a weird relationship with the girl; she was almost like an annoying little sister. You didn't really like the intrusion, and she annoyed you, but at the same time, you didn't want to get rid of her either.
He tensed but stepped back with a curt nod. "I got it. I'll stop by tomorrow, and then I need to leave." My breath stopped at his words. "The time has come." He closed the door from the outside, leaving me standing there dumbstruck.
He was leaving on a mission? Against his biggest nightmare? To deliver one last blow to the men who took everything away from him.
Pressing my forehead against the door, I desperately tried to control the raging inferno inside me at the idea of him putting himself in danger again—even though I knew it was coming soon. He had to leave. He didn't even ask me to make a choice. Would he be able to come back to us, even without the knowledge of me waiting here for him? And was it worth it to keep the man I loved away from me if I felt the pain anyway?