by V. F. Mason
I couldn't bring them into this world until each one of my enemies was dead.
Emmanuelle cleared his throat, snapping me out of my thoughts. "What do you need from me?"
And just like that, the crime lord was on our side.
Sapphire
The bright sun blinded me as I opened my eyes from the best sleep I'd had in years. My body ached in all the right places, and I couldn't keep the happy smile from spreading over my face when I remembered the events of last night. I sat on the bed and stretched my arms, groaning from the relief it brought to my muscles. Holding the sheet to my front, I stood up and looked around the room critically. I hadn't had the chance to pay attention to the design or interior of Damian's house. In the bright light, I could see everything clearly, and I didn't like it. The room had nothing but a bed in it; I kid you not. Blank white walls and lots of empty space. Thank God, he at least had curtains, or someone could have seen what we did last night.
The flush spread through my body as my toes curled from all the memories. Even though it wasn't our first time together after our reunion, it was the first time in a proper setting with both of us ready to move forward. No misunderstandings, holding back, or angry sex.
Just us and out-of-this-world pleasure.
I went to the bathroom to freshen myself up, although I winced at the idea of wearing the nightgown, and huffed in annoyance when my eyes connected with the mirror and my reflection. Swollen red lips, messy hair, hickeys all over my neck.
Completely unpresentable and outrageous.
Completely ravished by the man I loved.
A woman in love.
I missed seeing that reflection in my mirror every day, so I winked at myself and stepped inside the shower. I enjoyed the hot water, allowing it to soothe my aches. When I grabbed the bottle of shampoo, I realized it was mine. Removing hair from my eyes, I noticed all the same bathroom necessities I used in my house were here. But should it really have surprised me, considering the obsessive nature of my man?
I couldn't wait to see him again and jump his bones as my hands would…
Kristina!
God, how could I forget about my baby in all this lustful haze and sleep late? I quickly rinsed my hair, toweled myself, and noticed my blue sundress with lingerie. I put them on, dried my hair, and ran barefoot downstairs, all while calling myself a bunch of hateful names.
I stopped abruptly once I reached the kitchen, my eyes widening in shock from the picture presented before me.
Kristina was sitting at the table, eating chocolate chip pancakes, and the strawberry syrup she used was smeared all over her smiling face. Her hair was braided in the back in some exotic design I wasn't familiar with, and she wore a jean dress. She wiggled her bare feet as Lucky kept jumping, while curiously watching Rosa, who stood by the stove. The girl had headphones on and danced as she broke one more egg to add to the pan she was holding.
Damian was leaning on the counter, his back to me, and for the first time, I noticed several new scars marring his beautiful bronze skin. They weren't as deep as the ones he had from all those years ago, but those angry red marks must have hurt. They seemed more like nail marks if I thought about it, which was strange, considering that…
Oh, my God! Those were my marks. I was the one who left them on him. My whimper of surprise didn't go unnoticed, and three heads turned to me. How low was Rosa's music if she was attuned to everything happening in the room? Damian's eyes heated, scanning down my body in appreciation. I was in mama mode, though, so I ignored it.
"Mama, you're awake," Kristina squealed and waved with her sticky hands. "Aunt Rosa made me pancakes!" Aunt who now? But I didn't have much time to think about her words as my baby was blowing me kisses. With a smile, I walked to her and placed a soft kiss on her head.
"I can see that, sweetie."
She put a bit of it on her fork and raised it to my lips. "Here, try. It's yummy." I opened my mouth and took her offering, my taste buds enjoying the delicious treat.
Rosa added some vegetables to the pan and glanced over her shoulder, catching my eyes. "Scrambled eggs or pancakes?" My body chose that exact moment to growl loudly, and Rosa laughed as my cheeks heated up. "Got it. Both it is, then."
"Daddy told me you went to the mall today," Kristina continued, and my brows rose in surprise.
"Did he now?" Damian winked at me, and I shook my head. Kristina pointed at the shiny new doll on the couch by the TV.
"He told me you went to buy me a toy, so Aunt Rosa stayed with me." She wrinkled her nose. Damian placed a cup of mint tea in my hand, giving me a soft kiss on the cheek, and his heat washed over me. His hand rested on my back as we both listened to our baby. "Mama, how could you buy me this? You know I prefer Iron Man or Thor."
I choked on the drink, and Damian glanced at the cup, annoyed. I just rolled my eyes.
Big deal. One choke didn't threaten my health. "Since when aren't you happy about a Barbie doll?" Plus, who wouldn't love one? I used to love those shiny pink, perfect dolls back in my childhood and practically had the whole collection of them. They were so pretty half stayed in the boxes. I didn't miss how Kristina glanced longingly at the doll but then lifted her chin stubbornly.
"Jason says they are stupid, and he doesn't let me play with him if I don't have a Marvel Avenger." Her sapphire eyes watered. "Please, Mama, can we buy one?"
"I don't like this Jason kid," Damian whispered harshly in my ear. I barely stopped myself from laughing, and he narrowed his eyes at me, knowing I thought his anger was amusing. What father would want his baby girl to be obsessed with some boy? Especially one like my man?
He crouched in front of Kristina and palmed her face. "Baby girl, what do you really want to play with?"
She bit her lip and looked at me for guidance, so I gave her the confidence she needed. "Sweetie, you can tell us the truth." She exhaled a heavy breath.
"I like Barbies more because they are pretty, but no one plays with them. The other girls like Monster High dolls and the boys prefer Avengers."
"Kristina, do you know who you are?" Damian asked, and she shook her head with a confused expression. "You are my princess." Her eyes lit up with his words. "And princesses don't follow others; they make their own decisions." She propped up her chin with her hand.
"So I should play with dolls?"
"Only if you want to. Aren't you my princess?" She nodded eagerly, and Lucky barked happily as though someone praised him. Apparently, excited Kristina equaled excited puppy. "Then you can do whatever the he—"
"Damian!"
Kristina giggled at my outraged voice, but I found nothing funny about it. These few days were crazy as it was. I didn't want my daughter to pick up swear words among other madness.
"Whatever your heart desires." Then he frowned. "As long as it's approved by me." Ah, the obsessive-possessive nature showed its head again. Kristina wrapped her arms around his neck, squeezed it tightly, and hid her face in the crook of his neck. My eyes watered at the picture of our little peanut—as I called her five years ago—in Damian's strong arms. He hugged her back and closed his eyes with contentment.
Which unfortunately didn't last long as Kristina burst into tears, and I froze, not knowing what to do. Why would she cry? I made a move to take her in my arms, but Damian stood up and without another word marched them out to the yard. The door closed soundly after them as I stood there with my mouth open like a freaking idiot.
The dinging sound of plates touching the table snapped me out of my shock. Rosa occupied the chair closest to me; she pushed the plate with mouthwatering food in front of me and pointed with her fork at it. "Breakfast." My stomach growled again, but I couldn't eat.
"I need to check on Kristina." I turned around, but she stopped me with a firm hand. I glanced down at it and then back at her face. "Let go, Rosa."
She shook her head. "They had a moment. Let him handle it."
"She is upset, and she needs to—"
Rose t
ugged on my arm with such force I had no choice but to sit. "They'll figure it out."
"But—" She didn't let me finish this either.
"They need this piece of connection. You aren't a single mom anymore, Saph." I was still for a moment as a little shiver ran through me. Since Rosa's eyes still kept scanning me for my reaction, I nodded and dug into my food. Rosa, satisfied with my appetite, turned on the TV and watched some music video with annoying music that grated on my nerves. For the love of God, I never understood the appeal of rap music.
Rosa was right. I was no longer a single mom. Why then did the idea of my daughter having someone else soothe her bring me sadness?
With a heavy sigh, I shoveled food into my mouth, not really noticing the taste while I tried to ignore all those unfamiliar and unfair feelings toward my family.
Damian
With quick steps, I marched into the yard and sat on the porch swing while Kristina still hid her face, her arms, and legs wrapped tightly around me. My hands held her in a fierce, tight hold as hopelessness and worry occupied my mind, and my body trembled slightly in fear.
All those years in cells with constant nightmares, all those years of loneliness before I found Sapphire and our separation didn't prepare me for the amplitude of emotions I would feel in this moment. When my baby girl cried in my arms, I didn't know what to do or how to fix it or even if I could fix it. Somehow, her tears were scarier than anything I had experienced in this world. She held my heart in her tiny little fingers, and it bled inside me because each tear felt like salt on an open wound.
Finally, her body stopped shaking; she wiped her nose on my shoulder and leaned back. Her blue eyes just like Sapphire's were puffy, red, and filled with questions.
She sniffed. "Jason would be disappointed." Of all the things I expected her to say and be sad about, some stupid, toothless kid wasn't what I had in mind. My brows furrowed, but she continued without me responding. "He likes Ruby, always plays with her while I have to watch. He says I'm such a girl." Anger added to my annoyance, and although I knew he was a kid, I wanted to smack the boy.
Or rather, I felt conflicted. On one hand, I didn't want my daughter to be obsessed with any boy, especially not when she was so young, but at the same time, I held a grudge against a boy who would say no to her. My baby girl was perfect, just like her mama, in my opinion.
"No matter how hard I try not to like different toys, I can't." Her eyes watered, so I quickly thought about words to speed up damage control.
I took her chin between my thumb and index finger, raised it, and focused her attention on me. To hell with this kid. Find a new friend. Once he gets older, I can kick his ass for hurting you.
Unfortunately, this answer was unacceptable for an almost five-year-old, so I cleared my throat and gave her the glossed over version of it. "Baby girl, Jason is just a boy, so he doesn't understand the appeal of dolls. It doesn't mean that you need to resist it or pretend to like boy toys. Maybe you should look around for some other friends too since Jason has them. He wouldn't mind." I had no fucking experience with conversations that involved kids, and I wasn't sure my words were right for her, so I dreaded her reaction.
Kristina blinked a few times, and then her eyes narrowed, and she folded her arms while mine still rested on her back in case she fell backward. "I want Jason to like me. Not for him to forget me while I find new friends," she said, outraged, and it almost made me smile. "And Jason would mind. He should. I'm his best friend." Then she cast her eyes to the side and murmured, "I'll make him like me." Before I could open my mouth in reassurance, she clasped her hands, and her eyes looked at me in wonder.
I decided right there, whatever she pleaded for with those eyes, she would get it. "Daddy." Shit, her calling me this made my heart beat faster, and warmth spread through me, allowing my body to relax. "Could you take us to the Avengers convention?" She probably read my blank expression; I had no fucking idea what she was talking about, as she continued patiently, "Ruby's dad was supposed to take us; it'll happen in a week. But if you do it, Jason will like me way more and allow me to sit next to him in the car. Ruby gets to do it right now." She narrowed her eyes. "I like Ruby, but I want to sit next to Jason!" Her big eyes looked at me expectantly, and I had no clue how to answer.
In one day, we had to leave for New York and put the plan in motion; my girl needed to stay here with Rosa. Disappointing my kid wasn't something I wanted to start our relationship with, but it seemed I had no choice. "Munchkin," I started, "I can't do it because Daddy needs to visit a friend." Her face fell, and immediately tears slid down her cheeks. "No, don't cry. I promise you, once I come back, I'll take you to any Avengers or convention you want." She shook her head, turned away from me, and sobbed louder, and I panicked.
Before I could do anything else, Rosa and Sapphire joined us, their expressions confused. Kristina sprang to Sapphire and wrapped herself around her leg. "Daddy's going away and doesn't want to take me with him." Fucking what? That was the reason she cried? I thought it was because of the kid. "Can we go with him, Mommy?" Her pleading tone broke any reservations I had inside me, and I immediately thought about the kind of protection my apartment would need and how to provide eyes on her twenty-four seven. "Mommy, please? What if Daddy leaves and never comes back?" she cried again, which honestly made me a tad suspicious.
Sapphire looked lost and then raised her eyes to me with a question in them, and I nodded. "Okay, baby girl, we can go if you want. But you have to listen to everything we say, okay?"
Like magic, all her tears dried up, and she blew us kisses and then squealed, "New York has some of the biggest toy stores in the world. They have a Superman figure that Jason dreamed about. He said so!" And with that, she raced back to the house, clearly ready to pack.
Little manipulator. "Should I be worried my kid has an obsession with a boy who doesn't appreciate her?"
Sapphire chuckled and perched on my lap. "Gets it from her father, I guess."
Happiness filled me, and I tilted her head back to give her a soft, gentle peck on the lips, which slowly started to escalate to more until Rosa cleared her throat, interrupting us.
"So, does this mean we're going to New York? All of us?"
"Yes. I wouldn't leave you without protection." She jumped up and down and hooted loudly. "Finally, home at last." She did a little bounce and an excited fist pump. "Lots of opportunities to get laid." And just like Kristina, she disappeared inside the house. Yeah, over my dead body would her dreams come true.
"You should see your face right now." Sapphire laughed but then sobered up. "I was kind of worried when you went outside with Kristina."
My brows furrowed. "Why?"
She shrugged. "For a long time, it was just me and her, and when you comforted her… I don't know… I guess I felt jealous?" She covered her face with her hands and groaned into them. "I know it sounds awful, but I didn't want to share."
Removing her hands so she'd have a clear view of me, I spoke up. "It's normal. It's okay to feel a bit territorial about her attention; don't worry, you'll learn to share."
She raised her brow. "Really? Why am I the only one who has to share in this family? Everyone else seems to get what they want."
I helped her straddle my thighs as her hands wrapped around my neck. I brought her lips closer to mine and whispered against them, "Sweetheart, you can have whatever you want, as long as it includes me." My mouth muffled her giggle, and no sounds were made in the yard for a long time.
Houston, Texas, United States.
Holding two roses in my hands, I slowly approached my parents' gravesites. The hot Texas summer was unusual weather for me, so my body dripped sweat, making my black shirt stick to my back and chest. Despite the heat, the cemetery blossomed with beautiful flowers and green grass. Behind it was a big forest, which made the area seem secluded and quiet, providing privacy for every family who visited.
I had never been in a cemetery, even when Vasya died, I couldn't go th
ere. Somehow, the idea unsettled me, and I rarely argued with my gut. Besides, what was the point of visiting the dead? Their soulless bodies sure as fuck didn't need the company, and I found all those speeches laughable, the majority of them lies.
Yet when we flew over the Atlantic, all I could think about were my real parents, whom I remembered with only bright memories, and how Connor had sent me the location of their graves. He thought I might want to go.
I didn't realize how much until my feet stepped on Houston ground. The city amazed me with its stylishness and wide-open spaces, which allowed me some degree of elusiveness even though it was a metropolitan area. Plus, it had thriving industry, and based on the reports I'd seen, the majority of the businesses that opened here were successful. Not to mention the delicious cuisine, art exhibitions, and prosperity. It reminded me of Irkutsk with its quiet yet powerful energy. The city offered one strength and courage, but not enough to be overwhelming. As much as I love everything about Russia, Moscow annoyed me with its population, fast-paced life, and constant restlessness.
Finally, I reached their graves; they were buried right next to each other, and their stones were gray granite with the words in Celtic font inscribed on them.
Lila Kristina Harrison
1959-1994
Beloved Wife.
Loving Mother
Jake Eugene Harrison
1956-1991
Beloved Husband
Loving Father
Complicated feelings washed over me, and I couldn't stand the weight of them as I sank to my knees in front of the stones.
Pain, anger, rage, more pain.
Mostly agonizing pain that brought tears to my eyes as blurry images from my childhood played like a little movie in my head.
Singing songs with Mom.
Playing Robin Hood and Thief with Dad.
Trips to the zoo with ice cream and corn on the cob.
Lullabies.
And love. I remembered their loving smiles, touches, kisses, and arms. Remembered the safety associated only with their arms, when the outside world couldn't hurt you, and only happiness existed. I placed my hand on my rapidly beating heart, as I took a deep breath, not allowing myself to cry.