What About Reb

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by What About Reb (retail) (epub)


  ‘Hey, that’s my suitcase,’ Reb said.

  ‘Yah,’ Chub said. ‘You loaned me it, remember?

  But I need it still.’

  Reb did not mind at all. He got up, began clearing his own things away, and gave Chub his place. One of them asked if Cynthia was waiting out in the car.

  ‘You kidding?’ Chub said. ‘I left her home where she belongs.’

  ‘Atta boy,’ Reb said. ‘I knew you’d come through. Vinnie, get Chub a shot.’

  ‘What did you tell her?’ Wiggy said. ‘How’d you get away?’

  ‘Huh. I told her that’s all. Don’t worry, she don’t run me.’

  ‘Hungry?’ Reb said. He raced from the cabinets to the table, setting a plate and silverware and a paper napkin in front of Chub.

  ‘Oof-ah,’ Chub said. ‘I’m half dead. Just look out or I’m liable to eat your hand.’ He drank the small glass of whiskey and wiped his lips with the back of his fist. Taking a fork he stabbed at the platter of meat.

  ‘Eat, Chub. Go ahead, eat. Give him some wine, Lee,’ Vinnie said.

  Mouth crammed, Chub said, ‘Cut me some.’

  Reb understood bread and cut four slices from a round loaf. Chub broke one slice and dipped the pieces into the juice on the serving platter.

  ‘Hey, Reb, sit down,’ Sal said. ‘That’s all right.’

  ‘There’s room. Move over, Alex.’

  Wiggy got Reb a chair. Everyone ate again. ‘What’s the matter, something wrong?’ Chub said. ‘Why’s everybody so quiet?’

  ‘We’re eating. We were starved,’ Lee said. ‘Yeah, but it’s like a wake around here.’ Chub knocked back a glass of wine and reaching for the platter skewered another steak on his fork. ‘I been an hour and a half on the road. I wanna hear some excitement.’

  ‘Oh, he wants a floor show with his steak,’ Alex said.

  ‘What do you call excitement?’ Lee said. ‘You wanna see us dancing on the table. Or throwing dishes at each other?’

  ‘That reminds me,’ Chub said, laughing and stoking his mouth with steak. ‘You know how easygoing my old man is. Well, one time we had this little job we were doing on the side. Screen porch or something. It was a Sunday morning. By accident I go and bust the glass on the old man’s brandnew level that he just bought that week. Paid around thirteen bucks for it too. Christ, you should have seen him. Zing, zing, zing. Starts bouncing tools off the foundation of the house.’

  ‘Me,’ Lee said. ‘I run for the woods when my old man gets like that. Remember the day Patsy threw the jointer at me, Vinnie?’

  Chub said, ‘There’s Teddy. He’s throwing his hammer, then a pinch bar, then even the goddam hatchet. I goes to him Teddy take it easy. We’re putting up a screen porch not cutting a hole through the foundation. Ooh. I thought he’d kill me more for saying that than for the level. Hatchet was pretty new too. He dulled the blade all to shit.’ There was a generous round of comments from the table about fathers and their tempers and about breaking tools. Chub looked pleased with himself for getting them all talking.

  ‘And what about this guy today,’he said cocking his head toward Reb. ‘I hear you were trying to rip down the whole inside of the house. And us up there laying shingles, huh, Wig? What were you trying to do ha ha. Let us come down with the roof?’

  ‘Never mind,’ Reb said, suddenly rankled.

  ‘Hot shit,’ Chub said. ‘We all could of been killed. I gotta check with your old man if we’re insured for accidents like that.’

  ‘Lay off,’ Reb said. ‘You don’t know the first thing about it.’

  ‘Don’t get sore,’ Chub said. ‘What was it about?’ Alex said.

  ‘Yeah,’ Wiggy said. ‘Tell us what happened, Reb.’

  ‘Forget it,’ Reb said. ‘Just forget it.’ Then, honeying his voice, he said, ‘Hey, come on, everybody. Have another drink.’ And he was up circling the table and pouring out more wine.

  ‘I was just trying to get your ass, Reb,’ Chub said. ‘We all go off our rocks sometimes. Like look at what I said about my old man. Ha ha ha. A mild guy like him.’

  Reb filled his own glass and drank half of it, his eyes all the while narrowly fixing on Chub. ‘Listen, how would you guys like the salad dressing?’ he said downing the rest of his wine. ‘Alla sprufa?’

  ‘What the hell are you talking about?’ Sal said. ‘Yeah. Just put on the oil and vinegar,’ Vinnie said.

  ‘What’s alla sprufa?’ Alex said.

  Standing over the salad bowl at one of the kitchen counters, Reb launched into an explanation, addressing himself chiefly to Chub. ‘Everything’s mixed together in a cup. The oil and vinegar, salt, pepper, and some oregano. Then out of the cup I take a mouthful and over the bowl I go sproo-fah. That way you get a nice fine spray on all the lettuce and you don’t have to bother tossing it.’

  ‘You’re disgusting,’ Chub wailed. ‘I can’t eat no more that’s all.’ And he shoved his empty plate aside.

  Vinnie sprung up, his chair flying over backward, and in two steps he was at the counter. ‘Get the fuck outta there. I’m making the salad.’

  Reb and Reb alone cackled with laughter. Picking up the chair he returned to his own place, slapped Alex on the back, and still dizzy with hilarity he spun around and collapsed into his seat. ‘Sproo-fah,’ he said again, his head making a circle over his plate. Tears rolled from his eyes and through them he caught a wink from Alex. From the others came angry stares. ‘How’s that, Chub? Sproo-fah.’ And the high cackle began all over again, this time everyone but Chub and Vinnie laughing with him.

  ‘You’re a pig,’ Chub said.

  Vinnie took the salad bowl around the table, holding it out for each person to serve himself. He bypassed Reb and heaped his own plate full, then shoved the bowl into Reb’s hands. ‘Go ahead, pig.’

  ‘Tell him, Vinnie,’ Chub said through a crunch of lettuce leaves.

  ‘Ooh, you two guys make a federal case,’ Reb said. ‘It was only a joke.’

  ‘But is that any way to joke?’ Vinnie said. ‘You trying to make us throw up right here on the table?’

  ‘Oh, for chrissakes,’ Chub said. ‘What kind of talk is this while you’re eating? Cut it out now everybody or I ain’t touching another thing.’

  ‘You making us a promise, Chub?’ Lee said. There was laughter all round, even out of Chub.

  Then the salad was eaten. It was devoured wordlessly if not in silence.

  ‘Who’s making the coffee?’ Chub said.

  ‘What’s the rush? There’s the fruit and cheese first,’ Reb said.

  ‘What’s the rush he says. Start it now. By the time we get through it’ll be ready.’

  ‘Lee, put on the expresso pot,’ Reb said.

  ‘Not for me,’ Chub said. ‘I don’t like expresso. It’s mud.’

  ‘Fuck you then,’ Lee said, preparing the espresso pot. ‘I ain’t making two kinds of coffee.’

  Vinnie cleared the table, Reb put out small plates.

  ‘What’s this for?’ Wiggy held his up like a tambourine.

  ‘To put the fruit on.’

  ‘Clean dish for fruit? This is the Ritz tonight.’ Reb started around a big bowl. Peaches, bananas, apples, pears, and grapes.

  ‘Fruit like that I can eat with my hands,’ Chub said.

  ‘Don’t be a fucking pig. Peel your fruit with a knife,’ Lee said.

  ‘Peel it? Why?’ Chub took a pear and stuffed it into his mouth.

  ‘Peel off the skin, cafone,’ Lee said.

  ‘I’ll eat the way I want.’ Juice ran down Chub’s chin. ‘My old man peels his. Waste of time.’

  ‘Chub, I gotta laugh at you,’ Reb said. ‘Always calling the other guy a pig. Wipe your face.’

  Chub took the napkin up from beside his plate, shook it open, and used it.

  ‘No oranges in this bowl?’ Alex said.

  ‘I don’t like oranges,’ Reb said. ‘Try this cheese though. Real Gorgonzola. Have some with a pear.’

  ‘Try
it with an apple,’ Vinnie said.

  Chub tugged at the grapes. ‘Lee boy, wanna peel these for me with your knife?’

  ‘Who wants celery?’ Reb was at the refrigerator ripping off a stalk. He returned to the table, salted the long stick, and snapped off a bite. He salted and snapped off another.

  ‘Jeezus, have you got manners. Don’t eat so noisy,’ Wiggy said.

  Reb ignored the remark, announced that there was anisette for the coffee, and leaped up to poke around in a cabinet beside the stove. ‘Whatta you say, Chub. Expresso with kerosene in it?’

  ‘Like that sure.’ Now Chub was up passing around cups and saucers.

  Wiggy lifted up his shirt and slapped his stomach two or three times. ‘I’m stuffed.’

  ‘Oof-ah.’ Sal did the same. ‘Me too.’

  ‘You know, Vin, I think you put too much vinegar in that salad,’ Chub said.

  ‘Never mind the vinegar. I think you drank too much wine,’ Vinnie said.

  Chub smacked his lips and tasted his tongue. ‘Yeah, maybe that’s it.’

  ‘Who does the dishes?’ Alex said. ‘I’d like to volunteer.’

  ‘We just pick them up and throw them out the window,’ Lee said. ‘Tomorrow we go into town and buy new ones. At the end of the year we rake the yard.’

  ‘Forget the dishes,’ Reb said. ‘We do them later.’

  ‘Pass around the bowl of nuts,’ Vinnie said.

  Reb jerked his head toward the refrigerator. ‘Lee, pass some beers around.’

  The bowl of nuts went around. The beers went around. The two nutcrackers changed hands and went up and down the table. A good half was gone from the wine gallon.

  ‘Shit,’ Chub said. ‘I got no almonds. I can’t stand all these Brazil nuts.’

  Vinnie tossed him an almond the length of the table.

  ‘The whole bowl,’ Chub said.

  ‘Who’s for a game of cards?’ Lee said.

  ‘Fuck cards,’ Wiggy said. ‘Scopa, scopa,’ Vinnie said.

  Alex found an apron. He and Vinnie gathered the wineglasses and fruit plates. The others sat cracking nuts and drinking coffee with anisette and debated whether or not they would play scopa. Lee went into the living room to set up the card table. Sal said he was going out for a breath of air. Reb said he did not want to play cards yet. Alex said he wanted to clean up some of the mess in the kitchen. Lee and Vinnie announced they would play Wiggy and Chub.

  ‘Bring the card table in here, Lee,’ Reb said. ‘Let’s all keep Alex company if he wants to wash dishes.’

  The table was lifted to its usual place against the wall and the card table was set up. Wiggy removed the eights, nines, and tens from a deck and shuffled the remaining forty cards. Reb got out beers for everyone. Lee and Wiggy cut for the deal. Wiggy won it.

  ‘Come on, Vinnie, if you’re gonna play,’ Chub said.

  A hand was started.

  ‘Hey, Alex. Let me see that tie now.’

  ‘I’m busy.’

  ‘Come on.’

  ‘Later. You’re not going anywhere are you?’

  ‘No. I just want to see how it looks.’

  ‘Well, get it from my suitcase. It’s wrapped up in tissue paper. You’ll recognize it.’

  Reb glanced at Vinnie’s hand, then retired to the bathroom, where he washed his face and combed his hair. In the room where Alex was to sleep Reb found the tie and tied it before the mirror.

  ‘Terrific,’ Alex said when Reb returned. ‘I’m glad you’ve stopped making those wide knots.’

  Vinnie’s eyes came up from the card table. Reb wheeled to give him a good look.

  ‘What a fucking tie. You going to a funeral or something?’

  ‘Pfff,’ Reb said.

  ‘Jazz it up for chrissake,’ Lee said. ‘No broad would look at you once in a tie like that.’

  ‘Listen to these guys,’ Reb said. ‘You dumb bastards, this is English silk. Handblocked foo.’

  ‘Foulard,’ Alex said.

  ‘Foulard,’ Reb said.

  ‘Fool outta you,’ Chub said. ‘You got taken, Rebbie.’

  ‘How much?’ Lee said.

  Reb winked at Alex. ‘Five and a half bucks.’

  ‘See? I said he got taken.’

  ‘Thinks he’s Ivy League,’ Vinnie said.

  ‘Come on, you guys. Play cards,’ Wiggy said. ‘Whose turn?’

  ‘Yours. Wake up.’

  Reb moved a step or two toward the door. What did they know about clothes? He peered down at his shoes on the sly. A little dusty. Speaking over his shoulder he eased through the screen door. ‘Hey,’ he said. ‘I’ll be right back.’

  But the others were too busy having a good time to have taken notice.

  8

  Out of the circle of light that came from a yellow bulb over the kitchen door Reb leaned against the Buick, urinating on the front tire. There was a sound behind him and a voice spoke from the dark.

  ‘Sal,’ Reb said. ‘Whatta you doing?’

  ‘Looking at the stars,’ Sal said.

  Reb lifted his gaze straight overhead. ‘I’m taking a leak. What do you see?’

  ‘Some sight, ain’t it?’

  ‘Yeah. And the more you look the more there is.’

  ‘Gee, Reb. I feel. I don’t know. Sad as hell tonight.’

  ‘What you were telling me this afternoon? The wife?’

  ‘About that. About everything.’

  ‘What everything?’

  ‘I don’t know. Don’t you ever just feel sad as hell?’

  ‘I don’t know. You mean like someone died?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Sal said. ‘Yourself.’

  ‘I guess I never had anything to feel that sad about.’ They were still plumbing the sky, their heads thrown back. ‘Is it like a big ache inside you?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Sal said. ‘It fills your whole insides.’

  Reb’s eyes came down. ‘Hey, Sal. Come on for a little spin in the car.’

  ‘Where to?’

  ‘Nowheres. We’ll get some air.’

  Reb started the car and lowered the roof. When their wheels touched the road he flicked on the headlights.

  ‘Where are we going?’

  ‘I’ll show you what the town looks like.’ Within half a mile Reb pointed out the milky glow of arc lights on the horizon. ‘Boy, I’m glad you could make it.’

  ‘Me too,’ Sal said.

  ‘You don’t sound it. Was she tear ass?’

  Sal sat with his head hung back on the seat staring into the night sky.

  ‘You better quit looking at the stars,’ Reb said. ‘You look up there and it makes you feel like nothing.’

  ‘I wonder why.’

  ‘I don’t know but stop looking.’

  ‘But that’s just how I feel tonight.’ Sal straightened up. ‘Far far away. Like a speck. Like nothing.’

  ‘Was she tear ass? Was she wild?’

  ‘She’s a Sicilian. They’re always wild.’ Unsure for a moment whether he should say more, Sal hesitated. ‘We had a fight but that’s not why I feel lousy. Sometimes after a fight I even feel pretty good. But down here tonight and all by myself I started remembering.’

  ‘Remembering what?’

  ‘Oh, shit. It’s too long. It’s too complicated. About the past. About things I been through. And jeezus. Things I know I gotta face again. Only I’m not drunk enough to go into all that right now.’

  ‘Nah, nah, that’s okay. You come down here to have a good time. Don’t say nothing else. Don’t think about none of that stuff.’

  ‘Yeah, you’re right.’

  ‘Sure I am.’

  ‘What I’m trying to say is this fight wasn’t the trouble. The trouble goes back. A long way back.’

  ‘Try to forget about it now, Sal.’

  ‘You think after six and a half years she’d say go ahead Sal you work hard. Go with your friends and have a good time. Why not? Why couldn’t she be like that?’

  ‘Forget it, Sal. It’s t
he way women are.’

  ‘When I said I was coming down here with you and the guys right off she starts accusing me. Saying now that she was knocked up I was going after strange stuff and couldn’t I at least wait until she was big. I told her there wouldn’t be any women around. You’re lying you’re lying, she said. On my mother, Reb. I swear I’ve never looked at another broad. Then she started crying.’

  ‘Gee, Sal.’

  ‘Yeah. And in front of the kids. I said I’d smack her if she didn’t stop. Ooh. That was the end. Just try it, she says. Just lay a finger on me or the kids and see what my family will do to you. Why drag in the kids? I never hit my kids. Even when I should I never hit them.’

  ‘Why drag in the family?’

  ‘That’s just it. All these years together under the same roof and she’s still closer to her mother and father and her seven greaseball brothers than she is to me. Anyway, she’s shovelling food in the kids’mouths and telling them say goodbye to your father. He’s going away and maybe he won’t come back. And aw, christ. Then they started bawling. I almost changed my mind about coming. Then I heard you tooting the horn out in the driveway and I said fuck it.’

  ‘I think it’s good you came, Sal.’

  ‘Want some simple advice, Rebbie? Don’t ever get married if you want to stay happy. I’m telling you.’

  Reb let a few moments pass, then said, ‘Maybe these kids are getting on her nerves. Fix her up after this one and that’s the end of it.’

  ‘You don’t know how I feel inside, Reb.’

  ‘Sure I do. Six kids. They eat up the dough. A guy’s got a right to look at the sky and feel a little sad, feel kind of lost.’

  ‘Five counting the one coming. It’s not the kids. It’s something missing between her and me.’

  ‘Look, Sal. Fix her up and that’ll do it.’

  ‘Before I got married I used to be like a bull. Now if some broad come near me with her legs wide open I don’t think I could get it up. That’s why what she accused me of was so rotten. Her and her family. They’ve ruined me as a man.’

  ‘Sal, you’re twentynine years old. What the christ are you talking about?’

  ‘My life, Reb. My life.’

  ‘But being with all the guys, Sal. Having a good time. Can’t you forget your troubles for a while?’ Sal did not answer. He saw he was being a burden. It hurt him.

 

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