His face fell as guilt washed over, making me feel like a piece of shit for lying. He opened his arms and moved toward me. “Baby, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you to tell me.” His arms wrapped around me and pulled me against his strong frame.
Resting my head against his chest, I sighed, still feeling disgusted with myself. “Can we just forget about it? Please?”
Ryker rubbed his hands up and down my back. “Yeah, Warrior. We can.”
Cheering sounded throughout the bar as Ortiz hit a home run with two players on the bases. I took a swig of my beer as my brother clapped wildly. “Go Sox!” he shouted before turning from the T.V. to face me. “Can you believe that hit? Two strikes in the bottom of the ninth and then he blows it out of the park to tie it up. Unbelievable.”
“Yeah, it was a pretty good hit,” I replied unenthusiastically.
Ethan’s brows furrowed. “What’s wrong with you, bro?”
My argument with Kaiya and encounter with Molly were still weighing on me a week later. “Just have a lot on my mind.”
“Molly told me she ran into you last week.”
I nodded. “Yep. It was awkward at best.”
He chuckled. “Well, at least you’re trying.”
I took a long pull from my bottle. “Doing my best. I’m not gonna lie, it was hard to take that step.”
He patted me on the shoulder. “It’ll get better. Time heals all wounds.”
I snorted. “We’ll see.”
“Have faith, bro.” Ethan smiled warmly. “I do. You both love me too much to let what happened come between us again.”
“The past is the past, right?” I asked rhetorically.
He raised his beer toward me. “Cheers to that.”
I tapped our bottles together. “To moving on.”
Ethan’s smile broadened. “To moving on.”
We both took a drink, then Ethan asked, “So does that mean we can all go out to dinner or something soon?”
I thought for a second before replying, “I’m not so sure about that yet.”
“Come on, Ry. Kaiya’s going to have the baby in a couple of months, and you’ve already gone through the worst part.”
He had a point. I hadn’t wanted to see Molly, but I’d gotten that confrontation over with, even though it was tense and awkward.
“I’ll talk to Kaiya about it and let you know. Her baby shower is in a few weeks—maybe you can bring Molly and Tristan to that.”
Ethan grinned broadly. “I’d really like that.”
I left the bar feeling better, but I couldn’t get the argument with Kaiya out of my mind. Even though she’d said her mom had texted her, which would have caused her to react the way she had, I had a sick feeling she was keeping something from me. My gut was usually right, just like with Molly.
Kaiya isn’t Molly. She wouldn’t do that.
The problem was that I wasn’t sure. Doubt lingered in the back of my mind.
Old habits die hard.
My past had made me distrusting of everyone, especially women. Kaiya had broken through most of my walls, but the way she’d been acting over the past few months was making me want to build them back up again.
By the time I got home, I had enough time to think and had made myself even more conflicted than I already was. But as soon as I saw Kaiya napping on the couch with her hand on her huge belly, the love I felt for her quickly eradicated the negative emotions I was feeling.
Brownie was cuddled up in between her legs, but started moving when I shut the door. Her tail wagged as she stood up and paced back and forth on the couch, looking for a way to get down. Then, she started whimpering and scratching at the cushions.
“Shh, mommy’s sleeping,” I whispered, picking her up.
After putting Brownie down on the floor, I grabbed the blanket from the top of the couch and draped it over Kaiya, who stirred but didn’t wake up.
As I turned around, I glimpsed Kaiya’s phone on the coffee table. My eyes darted back and forth between her and the device several times before I finally picked it up.
I swiped the screen, but it asked for a password.
Since when does Kaiya have a lock on her phone?
I stared at the locked screen, which had a picture of us from her birthday party as the background.
What is she hiding?
I put her phone back down on the table before directing my attention to Brownie, who was pawing at the bottom of my jeans. “You need to go outside?” Her ears perked up. “Let’s go outside.”
I needed to get out and clear my head. I thought I was over the whole Molly thing, but Kaiya’s mysterious calls and seeing Molly again triggered my doubt and caused a sick feeling of dread to settle in my gut. I’d been down this road before and Kaiya was acting the exact same way Molly had when we’d been together.
Brownie bounded to the door and circled in front of it happily. I took her leash off one of the key hooks on the wall and tried to get her to sit still long enough for me to attach it to her collar.
Once I did, I walked Brownie to the pet area. The thoughts swirled around in my head, creating a lethal mixture of paranoia and suspicion. The more I tried to block, defuse, and deny them, the more they screamed not to ignore them.
.When I went back to my apartment, Kaiya hadn’t moved from when I covered her. After I removed Brownie’s leash, she ran back over to the couch and attempted to get back on.
She hopped repeatedly, reminding me of a bouncing bunny as she kept trying to jump on the sofa. “Need help?” I chuckled.
I helped her get on, then she proceeded to slip beneath the blanket and curl up with Kaiya again. A smile curved up the right side of my mouth as I watched them.
My smile faded as the question I had from earlier resurfaced.
What is she hiding?
The following Saturday, Drew texted me, asking to meet up for a couple of drinks at our old bar. I hadn’t been out with him since we found out that Kaiya was pregnant, so I decided to go, needing some guy time.
Maybe it’ll help clear my head.
A knock sounded on the door, breaking through my thoughts. I heard Kaiya greeting Nori, who had come over to have a girl’s movie night with Kaiya while I went out.
I checked myself one last time in the mirror before walking out to the living room, where Kaiya was scanning over the DVDs in Nori’s hand.
“I brought Steel Magnolias, Dirty Dancing, and The Sweetest Thing. Which do you want to watch first?”
Kaiya gave her an ‘are you serious’ look. “Nobody puts Baby in a corner.”
Both women burst out in laughter. A smile spread across my lips as I walked over to Kaiya and kissed her on the cheek. “You girls have fun.”
Kaiya linked her fingers with mine. “You too. Be careful.”
I squeezed her hand. “Always.”
Letting go, I traveled the rest of the way to the door and left. I took out my phone and called Drew as I trotted down the stairs. “Hey bro, I’m on my way.”
“You’re always late.” He chuckled. I could practically see him shaking his head at me through the phone.
“I know, I know. You there already?”
“Not yet. I knew you’d be late, so I took my time. I’m on the way, though,” he answered.
I unlocked my truck and hopped in. “I’ll be there in ten.”
“All right, see you then.”
Drew was already seated at the bar when I walked in. What I assumed was a Jack and Coke sat next to him on the bar top as he drank his beer. He tipped his chin up at me as I approached. “‘Sup?”
I patted him on the back before taking the seat next to him. “Not much. How’s everything with you?”
“Good.” He paused and took a swig from his bottle. “Things with Nori are getting kinda serious.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “No shit?”
His goofy, love-struck smile told me he was head over heels for her before his words did. “I think I love her.”
&
nbsp; Nori and Drew had been dating since right before the shooting. They’d been pretty casual the whole time, and it had been awhile since Drew and I had really talked, so I had no idea they had gotten serious. “Have you told her?”
He shook his head. “Nah. Everything has been going so well, and I don’t want to jinx it.”
I nodded. “I feel you. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
He tipped his bottle to me. “And you? How are things with Kaiya?”
“Awesome.” That was partially a lie; a lie based on me making assumptions, but still. “Only a couple more months till Hayden is born.”
“Damn. I still can’t believe it sometimes. After Molly, I never thought you would settle down.” He made an ‘oh shit’ face, then rushed his next statement. “But things with Kaiya are totally different. She’d never do what Molly did.”
I wasn’t totally sure, but I agreed anyway. “Yeah. She wouldn’t.”
“When’s his exact due date again?”
“August 2,” I answered before taking the first swig of my drink.
“Damn, so two and a half months, huh? Bet you’re excited.”
“I am. Nervous, too.”
“I’d be shitting bricks if I were you. I know nothing about babies.”
“Thanks,” I replied sarcastically. “That makes me feel so much more confident.”
He slapped me on the shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll be a great dad. That kind of shit comes naturally once the baby is born.”
“I hope so. I’m in the same boat as you.”
“Maybe you should buy some parenting books.”
I gave him a look of disbelief. “You’re kidding, right?”
A teasing grin lifted his lips. “Not if you’re that worried.”
I scoffed. “I’m not going to read a parenting book. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
He shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
I noticed a woman at the end of the bar eyeing me seductively. In the past, I would’ve have been all over her in a second, buying us a few rounds of drinks before taking her home later that night. But I wasn’t that guy anymore. Instead, I ignored her signals and directed my attention back to Drew, who was back to analyzing his feelings for Nori again.
An amused smirk curved the corner of my mouth.
How things have changed.
After a few more drinks, I looked at my phone to see if Kaiya had text me. Nothing.
I wonder what she’s doing.
My mind conjured up images of Kaiya in bed with another man, her girls’ night with Nori just a ploy to get away from me without suspicion.
I pushed the thoughts back as I turned to Drew. “Hey, has Nori texted you?”
He took his phone out of his pocket, then looked at the screen. “No. Why?”
I laughed inwardly at my crazy imagination. Kaiya fucking another man with her huge, pregnant belly.
I slipped my phone into my back pocket. “No reason.”
By the time we left, I had a nice buzz. “We have to do this again soon. It’s been too long, bro. You’re all domesticated and shit,” Drew teased as we walked to the parking lot.
I punched his arms. “Just wait until you have a kid on the way, dick. Things will be different.” We clasped hands once we reached our cars. “I’ll hit you up next weekend.”
No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t completely push out the thoughts of Kaiya with another man as I drove home. The way she’d been acting lately, along with the lengths she was taking to keep her phone from me made me suspicious of her.
And the same question kept plaguing me.
What is she hiding?
When I got home, my muscles tensed in anticipation as the images of me walking in on Kaiya having sex with someone played in my head.
I exhaled and unlocked my front door before entering. I hoped that my fears were unrealistic, and that I wouldn’t be made a fool twice.
When I walked in, I found Nori and Kaiya both sleeping on the couch. Brownie was balled up in between them on top of the blanket that covered their legs. Their feet were propped up on the coffee table and Kaiya’s head rested on Nori’s shoulder.
I laughed lightly at my ridiculous thoughts from moments before.
What was I thinking?
I turned the TV off, then carefully went to scoop Kaiya off the couch so I wouldn’t wake up Nori. Neither woman stirred as I picked Kaiya up and carried her to our bedroom.
As I tucked Kaiya in bed, a new question surfaced as I stared down at her.
Am I really just imagining things, or am I too blinded by my love for her to see the truth?
I swallowed deeply and my stomach knotted uncomfortably. I didn’t know the answer.
Ryker’s apartment was madness as I watched Nori and some of the girls from my office run around trying to get everything ready for my baby shower while I sat on the couch.
There was blue everywhere. And I mean everywhere. Streamers, balloons, banners, and other decorations were spread out over the living room, dining room, and kitchen. It was kind of overwhelming.
Finger foods were arranged on decorative plates on the counters in the kitchen, and presents sat on the coffee table in the living room. I snacked on some chips and dip as Nori set out the cake. “How you doing, girl? You need anything?”
I finished chewing my chip. “I’m good, just going to grab some fruit.” I started walking to the fruit tray.
“I’ll get it. You go sit down and relax,” Nori ordered as she softly grabbed me by the shoulders and stopped me.
I rolled my eyes. “You sound just like Ryker and Kamden.”
She gave me her take no shit look. “Go.”
“Fine,” I huffed before turning around and walking into the living room. My feet were already hurting anyway, so I didn’t mind following Nori’s demand. I needed to relax some before Ethan and Molly showed up.
I was so anxious about them coming over. I’d asked Nori a dozen times if my outfit looked okay, even though I felt like a walrus. I’d straightened my hair repeatedly, wanting my hair to look perfect for the occasion. Not to mention I couldn’t stop stuffing my face with food
I’d met Ethan a couple of times before, but not Molly or their son. To be completely honest, I really wasn’t looking forward to meeting Molly for obvious reasons. I already disliked her because of how much she hurt Ryker, but I was going to try to be as nice as possible for his sake. I wanted to give him all the support that I could.
Ryker wasn’t too thrilled about having to deal with Molly either, but he was making the best of it to mend his relationship with Ethan. Both he and Molly were at fault, but Ryker had found that it was easier to forgive Ethan since they were brothers and put most of the blame on Molly.
I waddled over to the couch to sit down before they arrived. I felt like a bloated cow ready to be milked, and everything was swollen—my feet, my legs, my stomach, everything. I was more than ready for this pregnancy to be over with so I could finally hold Hayden in my arms.
Only nine more weeks.
Ryker brought me a bottle of water and sat next to me. “How you feeling, Warrior?” He gently rubbed my stomach.
“Fat,” I answered with a sarcastic laugh. “I don’t know how you can stand to look at me.”
He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “I think you look beautiful carrying my son.” His fingertips trailed along my cheek as he looked down. “How’s my little man doing?”
I followed his gaze and smiled. “I think he knows we’re having a party for him—he’s been moving around a lot.”
Ryker focused on my bulging belly. “Oh yeah? Where is he now?”
I grabbed his hand and moved it to the opposite side, right under my ribs. “He’s been kicking me here for a while. It’s so uncomfortable.”
Ryker narrowed his eyes at my stomach. “Quit kicking Mommy, Hayden.”
I couldn’t help but giggle at how adorable he was. I caressed his scruffy jaw with my fingers.
God, I love him.
Ryker looked up at me and smiled. His rugged beauty still caused my heart to stutter when I looked at him.
How did I get so lucky?
Just then, the doorbell rang. Ryker glanced over his shoulder as he said, “That’s probably Ethan.” He stood and reached his hand out to help me up.
I stopped him. “Wait, do I look okay?” I asked as I ran my fingers through my hair and straightened my dress.
Ryker pulled me closer to him and kissed my cheek. “You look great. Don’t worry.” He led me to the entryway and opened the door. “Hey, come on in,” he greeted.
Ryker closed the door behind the family that walked in. He came by my side and rested his hand on my back. “Ethan, you remember Kaiya, right?”
Ethan grinned and stretched his arms out towards me. “How could I forget? Nice to see you again, Kaiya.”
I smiled and accepted his hug. “You too. Thanks for coming.”
When he pulled away, he gestured to his family. “This is my wife, Molly, and our son, Tristan.”
Molly had blonde hair and hazel eyes, and her pregnant stomach protruded from her tiny frame. She was about ten weeks behind me, but I looked a hell of a lot bigger than she did, even when I was at that stage in my pregnancy. That made me hate her even more. I knew I was being juvenile but I didn’t care.
Tristan looked identical to Ethan, just like Ryker had said. I smiled as I pictured Hayden looking like Ryker. I definitely didn’t want him looking anything like me or him. I wasn’t sure how I’d cope with seeing a replica of Kaleb everyday.
I quickly swiped the thoughts of Kaleb away before they spun out of control, not wanting to ruin my special day because of him. He’d ruined too many days of my life, and now that he was gone, there was no reason to let him continue to do so.
Molly stuck her hand out toward me. “Hi, nice to meet you.”
“Kaiya,” I greeted as nicely as I could, with one of the most fake smiles I’d ever forced before. Inside, I wanted to rip her a new asshole and give her a piece of my mind for everything she had done to Ryker. But on the surface, I tried to stay calm and courteous.
Mending Scars Page 17