by K. K. Allen
My insides screamed—lungs bursting, muscles quivering. I wanted to cry.
Theo looked at me, his face crumbling. “Shit, Lex.” He tugged my body toward him, growling and burying himself in my shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
CHAPTER 25
Theo
We’d managed to get through the next two weeks and stay on track. Winter made it out of the incident with only a bloody nose and a loose tooth the doctors were able to repair in surgery. She missed two days, and thanks to Lex, I was able to spend enough time with her to get her up to speed. She seemed back to her normal self. Flirty. Carefree. As if that night at Rooftop hadn’t even happened.
It was Thursday, and the group, along with Winter, had just completed a run-through of most of the show when Chaz spoke up. “Do we know what’s happening during ‘Moonlight’ yet? Or the cover for ‘What Do You Mean’? What about ‘The Cure’?”
The energy was electric, and I could feel the fruits of our labor coming together into one congenial celebration. But the show wasn’t complete yet. There were three dances I’d yet to introduce.
“You’re about to find out,” I said with a grin, my eyes falling on Lex. I waved her over then turned back to the group. “We’ll show you one of them now.”
“‘What Do You Mean?’” she asked as she made her way to me.
“Yup.”
After the almost-kiss we never brought up again after leaving the pier, Lex and I hadn’t met in the studio again. But it didn’t matter. Her brain was like a sponge when it came to dance. She’d remember our choreography.
The crew shuffled around to the front of the mirror where they could see us best, hooting and hollering and pumping us up. Lex’s bashful smile was worth the attention.
“Kill it, Lex,” Amie shot out.
“Looking good, Theo,” Nick called out with a laugh.
I raised my brows at him, humorously, and pointed at Lex. “It’s all her, dude. Watch.”
Winter took a seat in the middle, her expression somewhere between curious and cautious. I ignored it, positive she’d love what she was about to see.
I queued the song and took Lex’s hand to position her in the center of the floor with me in front of her. With my head tipped down and hers up, our eyes connected, and it was impossible not to smile. We might have been surrounded by twelve of our peers, but this moment was ours.
Anticipation filled my chest as our fast footwork brought us out of the intro and into the rest of the choreography. Dancing with Lex filled me with an energy I didn’t know I’d been missing—a void that I’d masked for so long. It was easy to feed off her strength, her passion, and every time our eyes connected or our bodies touched, I knew it wasn’t a one-way thing. I’d felt our connection from the moment she fell into my arms back in that audition line.
The cheering that exploded through the room when we finished gave me the best high I’d had in two weeks. After all the stress, the issues with Winter, and unexpected feelings for Lex, I needed this. I needed to feel the lightness, the desire, and the blood-pumping satisfaction of performing. And I couldn’t have done it without her. I pulled Lex into a hug, and her eyes went wide with surprise, but I didn’t care. I wanted to thank her for reminding me of the old feelings I got when I first started dancing at Gravity.
“So what’s the deal, Theo? How are we coupling up?” Reggie asked when the applause finally died down.
I pointed at Winter. “That’s up to the boss. I’m just here to supply the choreo.”
Then I noticed Winter’s expression. Her eyes seemed glazed over as she looked between Lex and me, but she shook it away when a smile burst from her lips. “Yeah, okay. I’ll think on it and get back to you tomorrow. Do you have another one to show us, Theo? I can’t wait to see ‘Moonlight.’”
Flirty Winter was back, and this time the flirting was aimed straight at me.
“Sure,” I said to Lex. “Ready?”
She nodded, but her eyes shined with something else. Fear? Nerves? I couldn’t make sense of it, and there was no time to stop and ask questions. Everyone was watching.
I stepped off the floor, catching Winter’s eyes as they followed me, confusion bleeding through them. Tension wrapped its way around my middle, and I had an awful feeling that I’d done something wrong. I shook off the feeling and used my phone to control the overhead lights, dimming them to give the crew the full effect. They needed to see Lex the way I saw her that night. Lights low, a haunting track, and a solo that captivated and inspired.
If Lex got a solo spot, it wouldn’t be my decision. All I could do was set her up for success.
I sat down in the front, knees bent in front of me. I waited for Lex to get into position, and when she looked ready, I hit Play. Winter shuffled over next to me as the first few notes came through the speakers. “What’s the deal with the new girl, Theo?” she whispered. “Why is she dancing your choreo?”
I shot Winter a quick glance, not wanting to take my eyes from Lex. “This isn’t mine.” When her eyes went wide, I realized I should have explained that to Winter earlier. “Just watch.” I whispered the plea. “It’s perfect for ‘Moonlight.’”
Lex was already taking over the floor, and she didn’t hold back, putting passion and vulnerability into every step, never rushing her turns and leaps, fully extending her body until the last possible second, when she’d contract and catch the crew off guard by moving in a different direction. She danced as if no one was watching and I couldn’t tear my eyes from her.
When the music faded and Lex began picking herself up off the floor, I noticed the room’s reaction was the complete opposite of what it was after we’d performed “What Do You Mean?” Mouths were hanging open, and the start of the applause was faint and slow, as if no one knew what to make of what they saw.
Lex searched the crowd as she came out of her dance coma, and I watched with guilt as her face turned pink. Only a few of the Ravens clapped, and jealousy permeated the air. I hated them for it, for making Lex feel as if she’d done something wrong when she’d just killed it. They knew it too.
So I started clapping loudly, and eventually the crew joined in too, but the damage had already been done.
“What was that?” Winter asked me, her eyes on fire.
I tilted my head, taken aback by her rudeness. “That was the featured dance that will take center stage while you’re in the swing below the three-D moon.”
“Is Lex soloing that?” Brenda asked, her tone carrying a hint of anger.
Discomfort chewed away at me. I’d fucked up.
“Are we supposed to learn that?” Simone shot out.
Questions were being thrown at me left and right, so I stood to take the hits, one by one. Lex was walking briskly from the center of the floor when I stopped her and placed my hands on her shoulders from behind. “All right, let me explain,” I called out, knowing I owed the group an explanation. “Lex was freestyling late one night, and what I saw inspired me. I immediately thought of ‘Moonlight.’ The lyrics speak to a loneliness that comes with falling in love when your feelings aren’t reciprocated. It’s deep, it’s emotional, and the only way the audience will believe any of it is if you dance the truth. What Lex just did was truth in its simplest form.” I looked at Winter, a new challenge in my eyes. “What do you think?”
“So,” Amie asked, her eyes darting between Lex and me. I could tell she was trying to choose her words carefully. “Will there be an audition? Or is the solo Lex’s?”
Lex tensed beneath me, and I squeezed her shoulders. I’ve got you, I wanted to say.
“I think it’s only fair to give everyone a shot.” I looked at Winter. “What do you think, Winter? Want to add this to your list of decisions to make tonight?”
“Will you be making it with me?” She shot back, and I knew she was pissed. It wasn’t like Winter to have outbursts in the middle of rehearsals.
I didn’t want to respond, and when I hesitated for too lo
ng, she stood and started walking toward the door. “Foyer. Now.”
The room quieted, and I released my hold on Lex. “Run one of the new routines. I’ll be back.” Then I shot Lex an apologetic look when she turned, and I mouthed “Sorry” as I left.
I was sorry. Sorry that I was practically feeding her to the wolves as I was leaving with Winter. Sorry that I’d put her in that position to start with. I should have considered how the others would react to Lex’s solo. Of course they’d felt threatened. They didn’t even have a chance after what Lex just did.
Winter didn’t even wait until the door was shut to tear into me. “Mind running these brilliant ideas by me before pissing off my crew?” Her voice started escalating, drawing attention from a nearby crowd.
I shoved my finger in the air, gesturing at the empty studio down the hall. She refused to budge first, so I led her through it then shut the door behind us. “Mind not pissing all over me in front of my peers?”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on. Since when did you start caring what others think of you?”
I didn’t. I didn’t care about anyone’s opinion except Lex’s. But I couldn’t exactly say that to Winter. “Why are you blowing up at me? It’s not like I handed the solo to Lex. I should have, because she deserves it, but the decision is yours. Do what you want with it.”
“I’m not worried about the solo. I’m worried about you. You’ve already been letting Lex run your classes, and now she’s doing your choreo too?”
“She’s not doing my choreo, she’s helping me with choreo.”
She tilted her head, accusation in her eyes. “Don’t be dumb. I can’t afford another Mallory situation. Neither can you.” She stopped, apparently to think about what she’d just said. Meanwhile, I was sizzling with rage. “Oh my God, you’ve already fucked her, haven’t you?”
The laughter that bubbled inside of me was ferocious. I was ready to explode. It took everything to contain the pending eruption. “No, Winter. I haven’t fucked Lex.” I backed up, knowing I had to get the hell out of there before I said anything I regretted. “I think we’re done talking.”
“Oh, we’re not done here.” Winter crossed her arms across her chest. “Tell Lex you don’t need her help anymore. I hired you, Theo. Not some amateur dancer. This is a multimillion dollar production. You can’t just make huge decisions like you did in there without consulting with me.”
I huffed out a breath. “Look. I should have consulted with you, you’re right. But as for Lex running classes, she was the best option to step in and help. I’m not going to tell her to stop. Not if you want to keep this show on track.”
“What more do you have to choreograph?”
“One more.”
She seemed to be processing my words. “Okay, that’s not bad.” She let out a breath and placed a hand on my arm, her lashes flipping up as she stared back at me. “Come over tonight and help me go over the featured spots. We can pick the dancers together. And if you need a partner to run the last dance with, I can help.”
The idea of spending an evening alone with Winter made me cringe. “That’s not a good idea.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Because you’d rather work with Lex?”
My head spun with confusion. “I can’t tell if you’re concerned for me because of what happened with Mallory or if you’re jealous because you want something to happen between you and me.”
Something flickered in her eyes, but it was quickly replaced by a glare. “We flirt. I’m not stupid enough to want anything more with you.” Ouch. “But Lex might not be so smart.”
This conversation wasn’t going anywhere good. “I have to get back in there. I’ll send the crew’s head shots to Alison so you can start thinking about the featured spots. We can easily give everyone an opportunity to feature. Let’s regroup tomorrow and maybe try some pairings to see who works best together.”
When Winter’s expression gave nothing away, I started to walk through the door. “Theo,” she called behind me.
I stopped and turned to see doubt spread across her face. “Just … be careful. I don’t know what’s really going on with you and Lex, but there are rules for a reason.”
“I know about the rules, Winter. I’m the one who wrote them.”
She nodded. “Right. And I’m the one who’ll enforce them. Believe it or not, I’m only trying to protect you.”
Funny enough, Lex was the one person I didn’t need protection from.
CHAPTER 26
Lex
The moment Theo ended class, I grabbed my things and headed for the door. To say it had been the worst day in LA since getting the job as one of Winter’s Ravens was an understatement. After my solo performance, the tension in the room remained at an unbelievable high. Even Amie and Reggie were on edge with me. And Winter’s sugary sweet demeanor after she’d walked in from her chat with Theo made my teeth ache. Whatever they’d talked about had pleased her, and I hated that I wondered what he’d said or done. Because it didn’t matter. He wasn’t mine.
I made it to the front door of my apartment building as Theo’s black Ferrari pulled into the lot. I caught the reflection in the front door and debated dashing inside before he could get to me. But like an idiot, I released the door and turned to catch him jogging up the steps.
“Hey,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.
My heartbeat quickened, and my anger immediately began to dissolve. His expression was genuine and more of an apology than words could have conveyed. I couldn’t turn away. There was something lost in his eyes, something I wanted so desperately to find.
“Hey.” I would hear him out, with open ears and a stubborn heart.
“Today was … unexpected.”
“You could say that.”
“I’m sorry. It should have never gone down like that. To put you in the spotlight … I hadn’t thought it through.”
I let out a breath. Only in those few moments before I walked to the center of the floor to perform had I gotten that icky feeling. Something had felt wrong. When I opened my eyes, I knew that despite my good intentions, helping Theo was the wrong thing to do.
“You couldn’t have known they’d react like that.”
He nodded, and silence hung between us. I could tell there was another reason he’d come here. Then he said, “After today, I feel pretty shitty asking you this, but—”
He looked up, and I already knew where he was going. He still wanted me to help him with choreography. Why?
Emotion swarmed my chest. “No,” I blurted out. “I can’t.”
“C’mon. None of that was about you today. The dancers were pissed at me. Winter was definitely pissed at me. It’s just one last dance. That’s it. I need a partner for this. I need you.”
A thickness was building in my throat, the pressure growing with each second. I crossed my arms over my chest and shook my head again. “Ask Amie or Brenda or any of the other girls. Ask Winter. But it can’t be me.”
“It has to be you.” His voice was shaky, rising.
“Why?” My voice matched his in volume.
“Because,” he spit out, his words continuing to rise in volume and emotion. “I can’t dance with anyone else. Just you.”
I hated how I loved his words. I hated how I needed them. How they filled me. How they seeped through my pores and clung to my soul as if they were the center of everything. The center of us. Because what he now had the courage to say, I had failed to believe until that moment.
He stepped forward, bending slightly so our eyes were level. “Come with me, Lex. Forget about what everyone thinks, what you fear they’re saying behind your back. Forget it all just like you do when you dance.”
His words felt like a gut punch. What was Theo asking, exactly? To pretend the world didn’t exist when we were together? To pretend there were no rules? No consequences?
We’ll just be dancing. I repeated the words in my head, as if one day I would be convinced. “Okay.”
“Hungry?” he asked when he started the ignition.
My stomach chose that moment to rumble, and my gaze floated to his. “I could eat.”
We pulled up to Mel’s, an old-fashioned drive-in diner with a speaker box for placing our order.
“You like shakes?”
“I shouldn’t.” I threw him a grin.
He chuckled. “Not what I asked.”
I twisted my lips as if I were deep in thought. “Then yeah.”
“Strawberry?”
“Vanilla. And don’t you dare call me boring.”
A hint of a smile appeared on his face. “Two boring vanilla shakes,” he said into the speaker. “Two fries and two double burgers.” He looked at me. “Anything else?”
“No, that’s fine.” I wondered why he’d taken me to a fast-food joint when we were planning to dance right after, but I didn’t dare ask and ruin the heaven I was about to pour down my throat.
Silence sizzled through the air before Theo’s quiet voice spoke up. “I slept with my assistant last summer.”
The warm air billowing around us did nothing to thaw the slap of cold I felt in my chest. I took a breath and faced the windshield, bracing myself. “Okay.” What this had to do with anything, I didn’t know.
“Mallory had only been my assistant for a few months, officially, but she danced backup to some songs I choreographed for an awards show in New York. That’s how we met. One day we got to talking, and she convinced me I needed help. With errands, dance steps, anything. I knew she had a crush on me, but her offer was appealing. Winter’s Vegas gig was a possibility at the time, and I was still tying up other contracts, so I hired her. It was kind of on a whim, and she was great at first.”