by W. J. May
“The same thing I did to all of them,” Simon said softly. “Studied his ability in various situations, under various levels of stress. Gave him drugs to enhance it.” He paused slightly, eyes tightening as he remembered. “The study expanded when he had a child.”
Rae froze in her tracks, feeling as though the entire world had melted away and it was just the two of them. She and her father. And all these terrible secrets.
“When he had a child?” she repeated darkly.
She had seen the circumstances under which people in her father’s clutches were made to have children. It was something she wished she could forget.
Simon bowed his head. “I didn’t know the child had survived. I don’t know any of them did. To be honest,” he hesitated, considering whether he should say the next part, “I kind of assumed they had starved.”
Rae looked up in horror. The interrogation temporarily stopped.
And she wasn’t the only one unable to comprehend such atrocities…
There was a quiet gasp from the back of the room. Molly had backed all the way into Luke’s chest—one hand on her belly, looking like she was about to be sick. She and Rae locked eyes for a moment before Rae gave her the briefest of nods. The next second, she was up the stairs and out of the basement entirely. Luke was fast on her heels.
No one else moved. As much as they might have wanted to bolt from the house and never return, they were rooted to the spot. All staring with the same expression. All holding their breath.
“They didn’t survive,” Rae said coldly, bringing them back on topic. “Even if you didn’t kill them outright—you still killed them. It just took a while for the bullet to hit.” She took a step closer. Towering down over her father as little wisps of smoke started trailing dangerously from her hands. “Elias told you himself, didn’t he?” Her hands balled into fists as the man’s tragic, final words echoed in her mind. “He said he’d never make it out of that place alive.” The smoke brightened with flames. “Well, guess what, Simon…he didn’t.”
No one said anything for a long time. After a revelation like that, what could you say?
Angel and Gabriel were standing like twin sentries, each of them frozen in the same defensive pose on either side of the doorway. Julian was still slumped back against the desk, staring at Simon like he was a nightmare come to life. Devon had one hand gripped supportively on his shoulder, but he, too, seemed at a total loss for words.
This was the same man who had helped him back at Guilder? This was the same man who’d fathered the love of his life?
Even Kraigan had enough sense to keep quiet. He was still standing close enough to Rae to intervene if things got violent, but there was an uncharacteristically troubled expression shadowing his face. As if there were some things in this world that even he was unable to reconcile.
Finally, when it could go on no longer, Simon cleared his throat. “Rae, I’ve never tried to hide the darkness in my past. You’ve always known—”
“Yes, but now your past has come back to kill us.” Rae’s voice cracked out like a whip, slicing the air between them. “Once again, my future is being crushed under the sheer weight of your sins.” The sins of the father are the sins of the son, or in this case the daughter. Uncle Argyle had it right all along.
Simon sucked in a quick breath, bowing his head to his chest before staring back up into the eyes of his daughter. Into the eyes of his son. “I’m sorry.” It looked like he was dying to get up out of the chair. Dying to embrace them. But a lifetime’s worth of tragedy stood in his way. “I can never…never tell you how very sorry I am. If there was anything I could do—”
“It isn’t us you have to apologize to,” Rae said flatly. “It’s a whole lot of dead people.”
Kraigan shot her a quick look, but stayed silent.
“You’re right,” Simon conceded, shaking his head. “And I’ve wished every single day for a long time that was possible. I wish I could go back in time and do things differently. Live without the lies, without the secrets. Without this blood on my hands. I wish I could undo every bit of damage I’ve caused. I wish I could have been there to watch you grow up. Given you the lives you deserve.” His face tightened once more as he stared his children up and down. “I wish I could have been a father to you.”
Kraigan’s hands were trembling as he broke eye contact and bowed his head.
Rae, however, stared right back at Simon. Stared with eyes just as hollow and lifeless as Elias. “Well…you can’t.”
She headed up the stairs without another word.
Without stopping.
Without looking back.
“You can’t.”
Chapter 10
There are psychological ramifications to days like this. Days like this leave scars that can’t be ignored.
Even when they were back at Guilder, after having witnessed the rapidly unraveling mind of Madame Elpis, Rae had never fully appreciated the wisdom in her mother’s words until this very moment.
In the last few days she’d been stabbed by the man she loved, seen every horror and atrocity her father had ever committed, watched as the fabric of her world was ripped apart in civil war, and then saw a young man, who should be brimming with hope and promise, shoot himself in the head.
It was too much.
It was all just too much.
And that was how Rae Kerrigan accidentally froze the world for a second time.
She certainly didn’t mean to do it. She hadn’t even realized she’d slipped into a different set of ink until she realized that all the people she’d been talking with had frozen behind her in the hall.
“…Which is why we need to get a replacement anklet as soon as possible. I have no idea why we let our precautions get so lax, but this isn’t up for—Are you guys even listening?!” She whipped around in frustration, then stopped cold, her eyes widening in wonder as she gazed back at a hall of statues. “Guys?”
No one made a sound.
Rae took a cautious step forward, waving a hand in front of Gabriel’s face. A second later, she reached out and tugged a lock of Angel’s long hair. “…Guys?”
Nope. Nothing. Angel would have smacked her for the hair-tug.
“Oh crap,” she muttered, running a hand up over her face. “Not again.”
Her first thought was to try to reverse it somehow. She certainly couldn’t leave them all just standing here mid-step. It seemed improper, though. And dangerous. Given everything that was happening, it could be very dangerous indeed.
It wasn’t often this group of people were rendered helpless, but that was the overwhelming thought which struck Rae as she walked between them. They all looked so vulnerable. So exposed. At the complete mercy of the world around them. Unable to take care of themselves. Too dangerous.
Her next thought turned comical and she covered her mouth to hide the giggle. What if I snap a pic? It would be hilarious—sort of. She could prove to them that Julian wasn’t the only one developing his powers. That she had a new set of ink up her sleeve as well. If it hadn’t been for the fact that chaos seemed to haunt their every morning, she’d have told them already. Plus, I have no idea how where it’s come from. Who else has this ability? And freakin’ knows how to use it!
She reached for her phone in her back pocket and then shook her head. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! People freeze automatically in pictures! So the rest of the super-gang would hardly see it as proof. Maybe a video?
Stop it, Kerrigan!! she scolded herself.
Her final assessment—the one she settled with—was to simply be overwhelmingly relieved that she had a moment just to herself. A minute where she wouldn’t have to put on a show of strength or bravery. A minute where she wouldn’t have to fret about being presidential, or spend it planning a defense against whatever was coming next.
For a suspended moment, she could just be Rae Kerrigan.
A girl who had recently graduated high school. Who had gone gallivanting around the world
hunting for super-villains after that. Who had recently been proposed to, and in the wake of an overwhelming loss had yet to share the news with her own mother. A girl who was hailed as a freak amongst freaks. A supernatural outlier no matter what room she walked into. A girl with the ability to stop the progression of time if she wanted, just to give herself a minute like this.
… A minute to freak the heck out.
“HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!”
She sank to her knees right there on the spot, in the middle of them, completely oblivious to the frozen people standing around her. They couldn’t see her now. They couldn’t worry or judge.
She knelt there for just a moment, fuming. And then, in a burst of anger, she jumped to her feet again and started kicking out the remaining planks of splintered wood from the frame of the basement door. Taking great care to hurl each one back down to her father, who sat frozen in the interrogation chair.
“HOW ARE YOU MY DAD?!”
When she ran out of planks she ran out of the hall, skidding to a stop under the vaulted ceiling by the front door. A place that would have the best natural amplification.
“HOW THE HELL IS THIS HAPPENING?!”
Again. How was it happening again?
Not the time-freezing. The immortal danger they always faced.
They had just been through this, hadn’t they? They had just waged an epic war against an all-powerful lunatic set out to destroy their world. They had just beaten themselves down, torn themselves apart, and given up everything they had for the greater good. They had just lost people, lost themselves, put their lives on hold…all for what?
For it to happen all over again?!
With a half-strangled shriek, Rae ran to the stairs and started kicking the marble steps as hard as she could. Hair flying and chest panting as she gave in to the rage.
“The whole point of this freakin’ Guilder place was so that we could get BETTER!” she shouted as she attacked the base of the stairs. “So we could learn to sleep without the freakin’ LIGHTS ON!” She glared in the direction of the basement where Simon Kerrigan sat. “You told me to be scared of the monsters under my bed and in my closest! You’re a bastard! You should have told me happily ever after fairytales and lied. Given me some false sense of security!” She stood a moment, huffing and catching her breath before she returned to kicking.
It was a good thing she wasn’t still using a strength tatù. She might have collapsed the entire house in on itself. As it stood, the most she could break was her boot.
“And wouldn’t that be perfect?” she challenged, abandoning the stairs altogether as she flew back across the checkered tile. “The perfect metaphor: a broken house. A broken house for broken people. People who never have a chance to get better.”
Using every bit of strength she had, she threw open the front door and rushed out into the night, staring up at the starry sky with angry tears blurring her eyes.
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”
She screamed aloud, waving her fists at the sky.
Screaming at nothing in particular. Screaming at everything all at once.
“WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!”
As if to answer, an icy breeze stirred up her hair as every last bit of strength, energy, and fight left her body all at once. She sank to her knees once more, shivering slightly in the cold.
“What more can you take?” she whispered.
It was impossible to know how long she sat out there. Time was literally standing still, and even if it wasn’t there would have been nothing to mark its passing. No noise by which to track the gradual shift of the hours.
The birds were frozen silent in the trees. The leaves turned statuesque, no longer rustling in the breeze. The only thing that was still moving was Rae herself, and she had long ago curled up into a little ball, pulling her knees to her chest as she let the darkness slowly devour her.
I wish I could have been a father to you.
It wasn’t the kind of thing a girl who’d grown up without one could take lightly. The kind of thing Rae could let roll off her back or compartmentalize for another day.
It was tearing her apart.
Literally.
Her hand clutched at the recently ravaged skin that Alicia had healed the day before, gasping as though she could still feel it. As though there was still a giant hole in her chest. One that was letting all the cold air pour right inside.
Nothing helped. Nothing quieted her wracking sobs. Nothing even came close.
She wept until she could weep no more, and then quietly picked herself up and started walking back to the house. The door was still wide open, and as she closed it she bumped up the thermostat by several degrees. The entire house was freezing now, courtesy of her meltdown.
She went to take her place back amongst the others, but on the way she paused to look at her reflection in the hallway mirror.
Pale skin. Tear-stained cheeks. And the bloody weight of the world on her shoulders.
She pulled in a quick breath and straightened herself up as best she could. It wouldn’t do for the others to see her this way. After all, this disaster was theirs to shoulder as well.
When she was finished, she took her place at the front of the frozen processional heading up the stairs to the living room. After glancing back to time out her footsteps with the others, she pulled in a deep breath, closed her eyes, and visually relaxed her magical grip on the hands of time.
A soft chorus of sound hit her first. Things so quiet, you never noticed them until they were taken away completely. The hum of the refrigerator, the quiet medley of a group of people breathing, the ticking of clocks.
Then Gabriel ran into her from behind.
“Are you okay?” His hands shot out to catch her. Apparently, her attempts to fall back in step with the rest of them weren’t as brilliant as she thought. “Sorry, didn’t realize I was going that fast.”
“Yeah, it’s okay.” She blushed as she hurried forward. “I’m fine.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she could have sworn Devon flashed her a strange look but, at the moment, they had bigger problems.
Simon was still one anklet short, Julian looked like someone had zapped seventy years off his life, and they now knew that Samantha had the perfect reason to hate them.
… and none of them had noticed they’d begun to shiver in the frigid house.
“Crap—sorry!”
Apparently, Rae wasn’t the only one having balance problems. The second they made it up the stairs and safely out of the basement, Julian’s waning strength finally gave out.
He threw out a hand to balance against the wall as his legs buckled beneath him. And missed, sending him crashing forward. Of course, Devon was right there to steady him. Except, for possibly the first time ever, that didn’t exactly go as planned.
As Devon’s arm shot out to grab him, Julian flinched away.
It was an automatic reflex. An unavoidable result of having had that same arm try to choke the life out of him just a day earlier. But Rae didn’t miss it—it cut to Devon’s very soul. Breaking his heart and searing into his memory forever.
An unnatural silence fell over the hall as best friends looked in opposite directions. Both boys pretending the moment had never happened. Both devastated that it had.
“Sorry,” Julian mumbled again, pushing weakly to his feet, “I didn’t mean—”
Devon’s face tightened and he shook his head. “Don’t. You have…you have every right.”
They stood there for another moment, unable to meet each other’s eyes.
Then Julian staggered a gracious step closer and reached out his arm. “Will you help me?”
Devon looked up with a truly unreadable expression. Their eyes met for a split second, then he hastily nodded. Taking great care to slow down his movements, he wound Julian’s arm over his shoulder and, together, the two of them made their way down the hall.
The others stayed behind, staring after them.
For
whatever reason, it struck Rae as a bad omen. An ominous harbinger of even more ominous things to come. One that rang true with every echoed step.
It struck all of them that way.
“Jules is dreaming about the bridge again,” Angel murmured, staring after him with a deep sadness for one so young. “He had finally stopped… then came Guilder.”
Rae shuddered and wrapped her arms around her chest. She could still hear the impacts like they were happening all over again. Fist on fist. Friend on friend.
Gabriel stared after them for a moment before slipping his arm around Angel’s shoulder. “He’ll be fine. He’ll get over it.” Without thinking about it, he stroked back her long hair, resting his cheek against the top of her head. “We all get over it.”
She bit her lip, unable to tear her eyes away. “They’re different than us,” she murmured, seemingly oblivious to the fact that both Rae and Kraigan were still standing there. “Better, somehow.”
Gabriel looked down sharply, tilting up her head. “Don’t ever say that.”
“It’s true,” she breathed. “You know it is. They don’t get over things like this. They shouldn’t.” There was a slight pause. “We shouldn’t either.”
Gabriel didn’t say anything. Perhaps there was nothing more to say. Instead, he simply tightened his grip on her shoulder and led her off down the hall, leaving brother and sister standing alone.
Rae wanted to follow, but her feet wouldn’t move. While everyone else was free now to do whatever they pleased, it was she who was frozen. Staring after the rest of them as they set up in the living room, ready to tackle the night’s new problem. She was slightly less ready.
“What happened at Guilder?”
She looked up suddenly to see Kraigan staring down at her. She hadn’t realized how close he was, just a step or two away. After steering clear of each other so long, it still struck her as strange.
“We were attacked,” she said quietly, feeling guilty again for not realizing that he wasn’t there when it happened. “By a sixteen-year-old with the power of persuasion. She turned us against each other. Made us do…” An involuntary shudder rippled down her skin. “Made us do terrible things.”