by Mj Fields
Jase turned red, “This shit’s not funny, the shop was vandalized and you got jumped, Cyrus! You wanna tell me what the hell is going on?”
“Birdie.”
“What the fuck is Birdie?”
“Carly’s stripper friend, so don’t act all fucking high and mighty with me!”
“Tara?”
“Yeah, you pierced her tits, Carly went to a strip club, I throw out a fucking dirt bag pusher, Rico gave her a tattoo and the shop and my head got the shit end of the deal. So don’t come in here all fucking…”
“Did you fuck her?”
“No I didn’t fuck her, damn Jase.”
“Let me rephrase that, have you seen her since?”
“Once, briefly.” He looked at me so I just let it out told him the whole damn story, I was a perfect gentleman.
“Get dressed, we’re going to find out what his deal is.”
“No man we are not. Zandor and I will go, when he gets back,” he glared at me, “Don’t fucking play badass with me, you’re Little Bells Dad.” He looked away, “Besides your fucking pussy whipped, and I need someone who actually has their own set of balls standing next to me.”
“Eat shit-- I’m going.”
“Then we go together, the three of us Jase. You cool with that?”
“Yeah, just fucking hang low until then. You scared the fuck out of me last night.”
“See what I mean? You’re going soft, Jase.”
All Better Now
After two days: I was hungry, tired, and broke. My phone’s battery was dead and I had no more options so I walked ten miles back to the apartment. It was dark, and I knew my roommates would all be at work or at a party celebrating Labor Day.
The first thing I did was take a shower, and it hurt. I washed everywhere except the very tender area that Tony had pulled the piercing out of when he brought one of the things I feared the most in life. Pulling antibiotic ointment out of the medicine cabinet I wondered if it was too late to try to stop an infection. I wrapped myself in a towel and brushed my teeth as I looked at my eye that was still bruised.
After I dressed, I looked in the refrigerator for something to eat. I knew not to stuff myself after eating just two small meals since that night. I drank a glass of milk and made some toast: it tasted so good.
I went into my room and looked at my bed, someone had slept here, but I didn’t care. I still had one blanket, two sheets, three pillows, four books under my bed, five pairs of underwear, six bras, seven dresses, eight pairs of shorts, nine shirts, and ten pairs of socks, which was more than I had ever had in my entire life.
I put on my pajamas and flipped the pillows, laid my head down and promised myself that I wouldn’t hide, I would be safe here, I will be safe.
I woke when I heard someone crying. I turned slowly over in the bed and saw Tony sitting on his knees beside me, he looked like hell. His eyes were red and puffy and when he looked up at me he whispered, “Please forgive me, Tara.”
I didn’t say anything partially because I was frightened, and partially because seeing him like that made me sad.
“Let me fix this, let me show you how much I love you. I would…”
Cassidy burst through the door and saw him, “Are you fucking kidding me?!”
“Get out now,” he growled at her.
Now I was scared, really scared.
“You gonna tell her that we’ve been fucking in her bed for two days Tony, or sit there like a little…”
“GET OUT!” He stood up and walked towards her, I couldn’t see his face, but I saw hers and I could have sworn she trembled, “Unless you want to find yourself a new job, and a new place to live… you better turn your ass around and walk out of here right now, Cassidy.”
“But I thought…”
He turned towards me, “Tara, I fucked Cassidy in your bed. Now Cassidy-- she knows. I was drunk and I missed her. I came to her bed needing to be close to her. I pretended you were her, so it’s not like I cheated. I was fucking you, pretending it was the girl I love. Now hopefully she can forgive that and hopefully you can get over it because she and I are a team, and if she wants you out of here you know damn well I can make that happen, so walk on egg shells, bitch. She runs the show here now, and you can get the fuck out!”
When Cassidy slithered away he turned to me and knelt by my bed again. He very cautiously took my hand and pleaded for forgiveness. He promised over and over again to be better for me. “I’m very tired.”
“Where were you Tara? I looked everywhere for you, I even went back to Harlem. I stayed at that building, the one I got you out of… remember that one? Well I stayed there for a whole day.”
“I slept on the beach.”
“Alone?”
“Of course alone.”
“Thank God, I knew you’d be back. What we have is like nothing else in this world…”
When he tried to touch me, I pulled back.
“Tara, I won’t hurt you ever again. I’ll give you a couple days to forgive me. I’ve forgiven you Tara, it only took two days.”
He laid on my bed next to me and held my hand gently, “Sleep Tara, I won’t let anyone hurt you. I will keep you safe like I always have.”
I was still awake when and he walked out of the room. I heard the shower run, which was a good thing, I was pretty sure he hadn’t showered in at least two days either.
His phone was beside my bed, well the mattress where I slept on the floor. The message was from Larry .
-Just had a visitor asking about you. You better not fuck this up or you’ll be in deep shit. Get Tara here tonight, it’s gonna be busy and you have an errand to run…
I set the phone back down just as the shower turned off. I rolled over and pretended to be asleep.
He hissed when he read the message and paced a bit before laying down beside me and wrapping his arm around me.
“Tara, you awake?”
“Yes.”
“You up for work tonight? Larry needs us there. I have to go in-- I owe him some money. I kind of borrowed against our cut of the video. I got us a place, a real nice place-- and we can move in, in a couple of weeks. Tara it has a big kitchen and a huge bedroom. Two bathrooms both with tubs. The one in the master bedroom is big enough for both of us.” I didn’t reply, I didn’t know what to say. I’d never had a place of my own, I’d never had a bathtub that I could soak in. “Tara did you hear me?”
I shook my head yes and started to cry. He leaned over and wiped away my tears, “We’re a team Tara. We’re gonna be so good together. We’ll never be hungry. You won’t have to dance, unless you want to.”
“Do you sell drugs?” I hadn’t meant to say it out loud but if I was going to forgive him I needed to know.
“Sometimes I drive them, never sell though,” he looked down at me, “I don’t want to Tara, but we need the money so that we don’t have to do that stuff anymore. Please tell me we can get through a couple more weeks and then we’re going to be done with it all.”
~
We walked into the club and Cassidy walked away quickly, “If she so much as looks at you the wrong way Tara, you tell me. Let’s get you a drink and loosen you up a bit. I can’t wait to watch you tonight, Tara.”
He grabbed me a drink and brought me back into Larry s office.
“Glad you’re back,” Larry smiled, “I want you to see the video we have, and just so you know Tara, you’re a fucking star.”
I watched the video of me giving Tony head, it looked better than it did the first time. Tony was looking at me, and he was so happy.
“Look at us,” he kissed me, “Me and you.”
I still felt a little shy about all of it and dirty but they both assured me no one would ever know. I didn’t have family so I wasn’t disappointing anyone.
“I love you, now let’s get you out there,” Tony stood up.
“One more thing Tara,” Larry walked to the small room behind his office and walked back out with the a garme
nt bag, “This is for you. No other girl here gets this kind of treatment but you’re not just one of the girls, you’re a star.”
Tony and I walked in the back and he opened the bag. Tony watched me, “You’ll look great Tara.”
I pulled my shirt over my head and then took off my bra, he cringed when he saw what he had done, “Does it hurt?” I shook my head yes, “I won’t do it again. I won’t hut you again.”
His eyes were pained and I believed him. He grabbed some pasties from the drawer, “We have to cover that. And tomorrow we go get medicine.”
When I was dressed he turned me so I was facing the full length mirror, “You look so beautiful Tara.”
For the first time in my life, I’d have to agree.
Cracked My Badass
I showered and hung out all day, nursing a hangover and a real bad fucking headache. Momma had stopped by with enough food to feed me for a week and Motrin because of course… Jase had told her what happened. She was here for hours: I knew she needed to see that I was alright. I also knew she wasn’t cleaning and doing laundry, I’m talking washing curtains and shit, because my place isn’t dirty. She was here making sure I was staying put.
Nickey and Miss September came back and Momma left. I watched some very loud TV to drown out the noises coming from his bedroom and to try to keep my mind off kicking the shit out of that fucking punk ass bitch and his two boys.
When Miss September left, Nickey sat back all fucking smiling and shit. I had to laugh at the smug bastard. He knew my quota hadn’t been filled for the day.
“Nickey, let’s go out.”
“It’s eleven and your grounded man.”
“Grounded?”
“Not supposed to go out. You know, forbidden by the family…”
“Forbidden by the family huh?”
“Momma Joe called me. You got drunk and got your ass kicked, which by the way I find fucking hysterical.”
“I need to get laid, lets’ go.”
I wore a hat pulled over my eyes and a hoody over my tee shirt.
“What the fuck are you wearing?” Nicky laughed as I walked out to his car.
“Momma Joe won’t recognize me,” I laughed.
“Where to?”
“Strip club, there a sure thing right?”
“Cyrus look at us man, we are a sure thing.”
~
My blood was boiling when we parked at the Sorority Sisters, I had stopped in earlier asking for that bitch Tony, yeah right after Jase left and made it home before Momma showed up. I was not into sitting in, waiting for my brothers. I knew the importance of a team, I was a fucking Seal for four years. Having watched people die I also knew the importance of keeping people safe, especially people I loved. This was my cross to bear. I wasn’t going to pull any shit tonight… I just wanted to see if he would show. Apparently he and the Birdie were off for the weekend.
We sat in the far back, on the opposite side of the club as the bar and then I decided to let Nickey in on what was up. I expected him to be a little pissed at me but when I told him I wasn’t gonna start any shit I just wanted to gather as much intel as I could. He insisted I talk to his father and I promised I would as soon as I had some answers.
I wasn’t drinking just in case some fuckers wanted to jump me again, I wouldn’t play bitch to scum like that again. I saw Tony walk out of the bathroom just as the music changed and I saw her all decked out in emerald sequins. Tiny little sequined triangles covered up her nipples but even from back here I could see how fucking round her tits were. I really wanted to fuck this girl. A sheer skirt split wide in the middle revealed another tiny patch of green sequins attached to the smallest little strings. The way she danced fucking got me way too riled up. Not bumping and grinding, she fucking swayed and floated. The other two times I had seen her she was timid unless she was dancing. Like her wings were finally free. The way she climbed the pole made me hard. I would love her to climb me like that, real fucking bad.
We were too far back to see her eyes, and she wasn’t smiling so the dimple was non- existent. The tattoo caught my eye and immediately I was snapped back into the here and now. “When she’s done, I wanna private dance Nickey, could you go see the goon over there and set it up?” I threw a few bills at him, “Get yourself one, too.”
Nicky returned, “Hope she’s worth it C, I got the hot blonde for thirty minutes for half of what you just paid for her.”
We waited for the nod and were shown into the rooms beside the bar. I made sure the piece of shit didn’t see me.
When she walked into the darkened room, she immediately spoke, “I’m nervous, I’ve never done this before.”
“Don’t be,” my voice was low I didn’t want her to know who I was. For now I just wanted to watch her.
“What would you prefer, me to just dance or a lap dance?”
“Both.”
“Lights or …”
“It’s fine how it is.” The sconce lighting was low enough to see her from here and once she was close enough, I could see those eyes.
She was floating closer and my heart was beating like a big bass drum. I was hard as stone when she backed up and looked over her shoulder, “This alright?”
“Birdie, it’s perfect.”
I had to grab her by the waist to stop her from running out of the room.
“Are you crazy?!” she whispered.
“Nope, this is almost as good as I imagine fucking you would be.”
She gasped, “You’re a stripper Birdie, any man out there with working eyes wants to fuck you after that show, maybe even, before.”
“Do you know what he’ll do if…”
“Birdie what the hell happened to your eye? Turn around and look at me!”
“If you be quiet I will,” she snapped and turned on my lap, lifting that little leg over my head and I swear to God if I wasn’t concerned with the light bruising on her eye and cheek bone I would’ve cum right in my pants.
She was inches from my face and straddling my lap when I saw the marks. I had to close my eyes and try to calm myself down before I spoke or I would flip my shit.
“He hit you?” I swallowed real hard.
“No.”
“Birdie we don’t lie to each other, got it. If we’re going to be friends we don’t lie to each other.”
She looked at me curiously, “We’re not friends.”
She was right but we would be damn it, “Carly is my sister in law, she considers you a friend so by default we’re friends.” She shook her head in agreement.
“We got in a fight about you.”
“Me?”
She shook her head, “Yes.”
“You’re coming with me, do you understand?”
“No I’m not.”
“I won’t leave then, I won’t leave you to be beat up by a drug dealing little fuck, Birdie. Friends don’t do that.”
“He’s better now. He promised he wouldn’t.”
“You like being treated like that? You like that shit?!” I knew I was getting loud but I couldn’t help it.
“Please,” she covered my mouth with her hand and fuck if I didn’t want to lick it, to taste her skin.
“You know this sign on your belly isn’t just a sign of purity, it’s symbol of ownership. Saying you submit to him, Birdie. So you’re saying all of that is okay with you?”
“Isn’t that what people do who love each other?”
The way she said it was so damn cute, “I suppose but…”
“Isn’t that what Jase and Carly did?”
“No one should own anyone else, Birdie.”
“People get married every day.”
“He hit you…”
“Everything going alright in here?” It was him.
“Yep,” she stood and walked to him, “Everything’s fine.”
“If you need anything…”
“Do lap dances usually get interrupted?” I was pissed.
“Just checking, it won’
t happen again.”
That’s right little fuck, “It better not.”
I stood up and walked towards her, “You better dance Birdie.” I motioned to the camera and she saw it.
She pushed me onto the chair and her hips began to sway, “You can’t come back here again.”
“You gonna leave him?”
“No, he loves me,” she scowled and turned away from me.
“That’s not love, Birdie,” not the kind I had seen.
She was on my lap now and she arced her back and I saw something covering her nipple, “Why is this covered?” I took the opportunity to rub my finger across the pasty and her eyes widened, and not in the way they should have. “You sore still?” She shook her head no, “Bullshit Birdie, these things can get infected, let me see.”
She shook her head quickly no and I pulled her onto me again and fuck if it didn’t feel good having her crash against me.
“I paid for half an hour with you, I don’t expect shit from you, but I do expect you to tell me if something my shop did is hurting you. If it’s infected Birdie you need someone to check it out.”
She was reluctant but allowed it. It wasn’t infected, it was torn, “Did you get this caught on something?”
She shook her head yes as she looked away,
“Did he fucking do this to you when he was fucking hitting you?!”
I was going to kill him, I didn’t give a shit what I had to lose.
I tried standing and she grabbed the back of the chair with her arms over my shoulder, “He didn’t mean it, he’s sorry. But if you….”
“That’s not love, that’s sick… what would your family say? They wouldn’t let this shit happen to you would they?!”
She shrugged her shoulders and glared at me, “I love him and this isn’t your business. I want you to walk out of here when this is over and leave me alone.”
“You like that shit, sucking cock and getting fucked on the internet? Getting beat up by some drugged up fuck. You like that shit? ‘Cause you looked smarter than that, better than that.” She was pissed and I didn’t give a fuck, “You don’t look like a whore to me.”