by ME Carter
I wrap my hair around the flat iron, trying to make big spiral curls. It takes forever, but I love the look. “It’s the beginning-of-the-season party, babe. We haven’t seen some of these guys in months.”
“That’s not a big loss.”
I give him a dirty look through the bathroom door. I love that we’ve gotten to the stage in our relationship where I can get ready while he hangs out in my bedroom. “Be nice. These are our friends.”
He tosses the magazine aside and leans back, closing his eyes and clasping his hands behind his head, a small smile on his face. “They may be your friends, but they’re my teammates. For most of the year, I see them at practice, shower with them in the locker room, live with them on the road. I can wait a few more days.”
I turn the flat iron off and pull my hair back in a clip. The style gives me a more sweet than sultry look, but I kind of like it. After flipping off the bathroom light, I climb onto the bed and crawl my way up Rowen’s body until I’m lying on top of him. I kiss him on the lips, and he wraps his arms around me.
“How about this,” I say between kisses. “How about we stay only long enough to catch up with everyone and get a couple drinks. Then we come back here for some alone time.”
He hums his approval. “And what are we going to do with that alone time?”
I give him one last peck and push off him to stand. “I’m DVRing the Cowboys game that started an hour ago. I wanna watch it before I work tomorrow.”
“You’re so sexy when you talk sports.”
I pull on knee-high white socks and my red chucks. No reason to go glam tonight. “You think that’s sexy, you should hear me talk about tacos.”
“What the hell do those two things have to do with each other?”
“Nothing,” I say. “But I’m starving. Let’s pick some up on the way.”
Thirty minutes and three burritos later, because burritos are easier to eat in the car, we pull into the parking lot at Mack’s place.
“I think this is the first time most of the team is going to see us together,” I remark as we walk, hand in hand, to the door. “Like together together.”
“So?”
“I don’t know. It’s different than it was this time last year.” I bite my lip as I think about what partying with the team used to mean and what Rowen still thinks about it.
He stiffens, and I suspect he’s having the same thoughts I am. “Tiffany, I…” He pauses. “I don’t mind going to parties with you, but it makes me uncomfortable to see things happen, out in the open. In front of everyone.”
“I know. I remember.” I hope he’s not picturing me on my knees in front of his teammate. I’m not sure why I thought coming here was a good idea.
“Hey,” he says, tipping my chin up. “Whatever you’re thinking, quit it. We’re together.” I nod. “Sasha and some of the other girls are probably here, and if things start to get a little crazy, I’m gonna wanna leave. Are you okay with that?”
I breathe a sigh of relief, which is weird because I’m not ashamed of anything I’ve done in my past. The longer Rowen and I are together, the more I hope he’s not ashamed of my past. If it’s something he can’t get over, that’s his problem, not mine, but the heart is strange, and I want him to think I’m worth it because I know he is.
Holy shit, I think I’m in love with him.
“Hey,” he says, cupping my cheek. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I shake my head of these new thoughts, not ready to confess my feelings at this point. “Sorry. My thoughts just ran wild for a second.”
He kisses the top of my head, and we go inside.
“Hey, Rookie!” Christian yells, giving Rowen a fist bump and me a hug. We’ve seen him a few times during the off-season, and he and Rowen have become friends.
“How was the trip to Hawaii, man?” Rowen asks.
Christian holds a hand over his heart. “It was fucking beautiful. Amazing. Probably the most romantic place I’ve ever been, and I’m not a romantic guy.”
“I don’t believe that,” I chide. “I bet you’re romantic with the right person.”
“I was treating my mama to this trip. It wasn’t the time for romance.” I snicker. “But seriously. You guys need to save up some money and head over there next year. I hear there are hidden waterfalls where you can get a little privacy, if you know what I mean.” He nudges Rowen in the ribs with his elbow.
“How many of those have you had to drink?” Rowen asks, gesturing to the red Solo cup in Christian’s hand.
“Not enough, man. I’m going to the kitchen for a refill. You want anything?”
“I’ll come with you. Tiff?” Rowen asks. I shake my head, and he kisses me on the cheek. “I’ll be right back.”
On their way to the kitchen, Christian ribs him about having a girlfriend and being “in looooooooove.” Rowen shoves him playfully.
I smile at how much fun they have together. Rowen doesn’t like everyone on the team. There are a lot of egos on pro sports teams, and Rowen isn’t like that. He’s more reserved and stand-offish than they are.
Things are in full swing in the living room. Liquor bottles clutter tables, and some of the girls I know from last year are hanging on a few of the guys. There’s a pretty heavy make-out session happening on a chair in the corner.
“Tiffy!” Sasha yells and barrels towards me, grabbing me in a hug. It’s obvious she’s been drinking heavily. “I missed you!”
I laugh. “I saw you a couple weeks ago, remember?”
She giggles. “I know, but I can’t wait until we get to go to games every week.” She gasps. “Will we be able to sit in the box now that you’re dating Rowen? Please, please, please!” She clasps her hands together and bounces on her toes.
“I don’t know,” I say, putting a hand on her forearm to stop her movement. “We didn’t really talk about it. I don’t even know if he can get tickets.”
“I’ve always wanted to see what it’s like up there,” she continues with a starry look on her face. “I’ve heard there’s free food and booze, and you get to schmooze with all the wives.” She crinkles her nose. “Ew. Maybe I don’t want to hang out with those stuck-up bitches.”
“I’m sure they wouldn’t be too happy about us showing up in their space either.”
“But the free booze might be worth it.”
“Maybe.”
“Heeeeeeeey, Tiffany.”
“Hey, Mack.”
He saunters over, whiskey glass in hand, and wraps me in his arms. He slides his hands down my sides, giving me the once-over with his eyes.
I pull back. “How are you? You’re looking good.”
“I’m doing great. I’ve missed seeing that beautiful body of yours.”
I give him a flirty smile but back up. “You’re sweet. Did you go anywhere fun during your down time?”
He shrugs and sips his drink. “Nowhere exciting. Definitely not as exciting as here.” He’s still looking at me with lust in his eyes. He adjusts himself through his pants. “So are we gonna get a little show tonight? A little “welcome back, here’s what you missed” kind of thing?”
I force myself to keep a smile on my face, but I’m not feeling it anymore. “You know the answer to that,” I say. “Rowen and I are together.”
“So? He knew what he was getting into when he asked you out.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “What exactly does that mean?”
He peels his stare off my legs and finally looks me in the eye. “Oh, come on, Tiffany. People like you and me, we’re not monogamous. We’re young. We’re beautiful. We like sex. That didn’t change because you started spreading your legs for the rookie.”
I purse my lips. Mack can be a dick sometimes, but he just crossed a line. Last year, talking to me this way wouldn’t have bothered me. And honestly, it’s not even his assessment of me that’s insulting. It’s his dismissal of how serious my relationship is with Rowen.
He leans in, running his hand down my ar
m again. It gives me chills, but not in a good way. “What do you say? I’ve got your favorite mood music cued up and ready to go. You ready to dance for us, baby?”
“No.”
I feel him before I hear him, and he answers Mack before I can.
“I wasn’t talking to you, Rookie,” Mack pops off. “Tiffany is her own person. It’s her decision, not yours. Isn’t that right, Tiffany?”
I look at Rowen and see a silent plea. He’s pleading with me to be faithful to him. To choose him. Now, instead of being angry at Mack, I’m angry at Rowen for not trusting me.
I cross my arms. “Look, Mack. We’re alike in a lot of ways, but I’m in a relationship now. I’m not single and looking to sow my wild oats or whatever. I’m building something better than that. So, no. I’m still a friend to this team. I love you guys dearly, but my boundaries are different, and you need to respect them.”
“All right. I gotcha.” He looks at Rowen, who is trying hard to stifle a huge smile. “Enjoy tapping that, Rookie. She’s a tiger in the sack.”
Rowen scowls as Mack walks away.
“He is such a dick,” Rowen mutters.
“He has his moments,” I respond and take Sasha’s hand. “Come on. I need a drink.”
I drag her to the kitchen, not bothering to look back as we walk away from Rowen.
I watch Tiffany from across the room while I nurse a beer. A smile lights up her face as she chats with one of the newest players, a rookie who just came to us from Tulsa. Darren something-or-other. No doubt they’re talking shop. She always looks happy when she’s talking sports. She’s so damn beautiful. And of all the guys she could have chosen, she chose me. Unbelievable.
She hasn’t made eye contact with me since the incident with Mack. I knew she would turn him down. At least, I really hoped she would. But I can’t figure out how I ended up being the bad guy in that exchange.
“What are you doing over here while your woman is over there?” Daniel sits next to me, slapping me on the back in greeting.
“Hey. What are you doing here? Quincy let you out of the house?”
“She’s having a girls’ night with Geni or something. Besides, I always come to the first party of the year.”
“Really?”
He shrugs. “Team unity, and all that shit. Have you met the new talent yet?”
“In passing. I prefer to get to know them on the job. I’d rather not let their personalities color my opinion of their skills.”
“That guy right there talking to Tiffany,” he says, gesturing. “I’m hoping he’ll be your backup in a year or two.”
“My backup. Don’t you mean Shivel’s back up?”
He lowers his voice. “It’s in the works, man. Things will be moving in a matter of weeks. Hang on a little longer.” He slaps me on the shoulder again and leaves to mingle with other team members.
Tiffany is still talking to the new player, which doesn’t bother me. But I see the way he’s looking at her, with hunger in his eyes. I’m not sure what he’s heard about her, but it’s time to make sure he knows where I stand with her.
I down the rest of my drink and set the bottle on the table. I wish I hadn’t left my beanie at home.
“Hey.” I wrap an arm around Tiffany’s waist. “You almost ready to hit the road?”
“Um, sure. I’ll see you at the game in a couple of days, Darren. It was nice to meet you.”
“You, too, Tiffany.” He’s polite but I can tell he’s irritated that I cock-blocked him. I keep my eyes locked on his as I guide her out of the room.
We wave goodbye to a few people, and I hold her hand as we cross the parking lot. Being out of that place, away from the crowd, I feel like I can finally breathe again.
We get settled in the car and drive toward her place, but she hasn’t spoken a word yet. For me, silence is not unusual. But for her, something’s not right.
“Are you mad at me?”
She shrugs, and I sigh.
“Are you at least going to tell me why you’re mad at me?”
She looks at me. “Are you serious?”
“Dead serious. I hear Shivel talking shit to you, but I’m the one you’re mad at. I don’t get it.”
I glance at her a couple of times while trying to keep my eyes on the road, but she just looks at me. Finally she sighs.
“You don’t trust me.”
It takes me a second to process her words. “What do you mean, I don’t trust you?”
“You jumped in and answered Mack for me.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“But it’s true.”
“No, it’s not true. I mean, okay yeah. I told him no before you could. But how does that mean I don’t trust you?”
“You didn’t trust that I wasn’t going to fall into the same old slutty patterns. You were afraid I was going to rip my clothes off and start humping everything that walked by.”
It takes everything in me to keep driving and not pull over so I can look at her during this conversation. “What the hell are you talking about? He was being disrespectful to my girlfriend. He crossed a line he knew was there, and he did it on purpose. That has nothing to do with trusting you. That has everything to do with not trusting him.”
“It’s the same thing!” she yells. “I am a groupie, Rowen. Don’t you get it? I have had sex with almost every guy in that room.”
“Stop,” I say quietly.
“Dirty, filthy, depraved, sometimes voyeuristic sex with almost all of them.”
“Stop.”
“Their dicks. My pussy. Connecting. Sometimes their dicks and my face. Sometimes their dicks and my—”
“Stop!” I roar and swerve to the side of the road, slam the car in park, and turn to face her. “I don’t give a shit what you’ve done or with whom, but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna sit here quietly while you shove it in my face. I won’t lie. I hate it with everything in me, but there’s not a damn thing either of us can do to change it.
“But I still have to work with these guys, regardless of what you’ve done with them, and for you to create visual images in my head after we’ve spent the last three months creating new images of us makes it a hell of a lot harder for me to go into work next week, and that’s not fair to me.”
She blanches.
“I don’t know what the fuck you are even mad about, because if Sasha had come up and propositioned me, I expect you would have staked some sort of claim over me, like I did over you. And if you wouldn’t have, well maybe there are some lopsided feelings happening. Because that’s what people in caring, committed relationships do. They stand up for one another. They have each other’s backs. They support each other. And they make damn sure everyone knows they only have eyes for each other, which is what I did with Mack.” I take a breath and rub my face.
“Look, I don’t know what this is about. If this is some weird guilt or something you’re feeling. But we’ve talked about this. I know you. And I know you would have told Mack no whether I was there or not. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stand there and let you be disrespected by the prick so you can prove to me you’re trustworthy. That’s not okay with me.”
She blinks back tears but doesn’t say anything. I put the car back in drive and pull back on the road.
When we get to her place, I know she expects me to take off, but the last thing I’m going to do is leave her after a fight of this magnitude. I’m mad she put words in my mouth. I’m mad she assumed certain things about me. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to walk away when she thinks I’m ashamed of her. That assumption needs to be cleared up tonight.
I step in behind her when she opens the door, and she startles.
“Oh,” she says. “I thought—”
“Do you want me to leave?”
She shakes her head.
“Good.” Inside, I shrug out of my jacket and toss it over the back of a chair. “Because we have a Cowboys game to watch.”
She washes her face, an
d we change into sweats. Some of my clothes had migrated here the last couple of months.
We settle on the couch with drinks, and she picks up the remote, putting the game in queue. As soon as the opening credits begin, though, she pauses it.
“I don’t want you to be ashamed of me.”
“I’m not ashamed of you.”
“I want you to be proud to be with me.”
“I am proud to be with you.” I run my hands through her hair reassuringly, enjoying the sight of the curls falling through my fingers. “You’re the smartest, wittiest, most amazing woman I’ve ever known.”
“I thought… I mean… The things Mack says, they don’t offend me. I am who I am, and I’m not ashamed of that.”
“You shouldn’t be. I like who you are. But just because you aren’t offended doesn’t mean Mack should say them. I know you don’t care, but I do. You deserve to be treated with the utmost respect. Guys like Shivel charm the ladies to their faces, but behind their backs, they treat them like shit. I don’t want that for you.”
She cocks her head. “He’s not that bad.”
“He’s worse, babe. You don’t have to believe me, but I do ask that you respect my opinion when we’re in those situations.”
She nods and smiles shyly before nuzzling me. “I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions.”
I close my eyes and enjoy the feel of her. “I’m sorry I didn’t let you take care of yourself.”
“You didn’t like me talking to Darren either, did you?”
I smile. “He was eye-fucking you.”
She snorts. “He was talking to me.”
“I’m a guy. I know these things.”
“Are you gonna pee on my leg next time so none of the boys get near me?”
“Don’t assume the thought never crossed my mind.”
I pull her to me, kissing her. I sweep my tongue into her mouth and she reciprocates, moaning her approval. It’s short and sweet, the kiss of a couple making up.
“That was our first fight,” I say after we break apart.
“It was. I think we did pretty well with it.”
She settles into my chest, my arm around her shoulder, and turns the game back on. While I’m glad we made it through our first fight, I feel like I should have seen this one coming.