by Hart, Alana
Chapter 3: Rose
“I love you, baby.”
“I love you too, baby. Be safe. Please.”
“Always. Talk to you later. Love you.”
I watched my husband, Staff Sergeant Ellis Houston, blow a kiss to me before turning his camera off. He was in Seattle, waiting for his flight to go to Iraq. We’d just gotten married about a week ago. He’d left two days ago with several airmen, for a four-month deployment. Four months was nothing, especially in the military. I’ve learned many women went without their husbands for as long as a year.
I didn’t think I could’ve gone a damn day without my husband. It’s been forty-eight hours and I haven’t had a meltdown yet. I’m very proud of myself. Very.
I cried for an hour on day one, fingering the gorgeous engagement ring he’d given me. It was all I’d have for a constant reminder of his love. Ellis was great at providing material affection. He thought my lifestyle required regular financial endowments of material things to keep me happy, but he was wrong. Jewelry and flowers were inconsequential; I’ve always had my own money, and I also purchased whatever I wanted. It was the things money couldn’t buy that meant the world to me. I wouldn’t have his hand to hold, hair to play in, or chin to nuzzle up against – and I’d take that over the 2-carat princess cut engagement he’d purchased for me.
I still had no idea where he’d gotten that kind of money.
I still think he could have used it for his business, which he wanted to start after he discharged from the military.
Five minutes after our call ended, I realized no amount of hope would bring Ellis back to Skype. He was in the middle of traveling to Iraq, and therefore I’d be lucky to get an alert or email on my iPhone when he was available again.
“Rose, please, get away from the computer. Breathe. Get your life. Go for a walk.” It was a little after 7 in the evening, so the summer sun wasn’t as cruel at this point.
Not that I hated the sun. Thanks to my Polynesian and Black heritage, my sun kissed skin had a nice heat-friendly glow. But, Dallas was unreasonably hot, and taking a walk any earlier than 7 PM was a recipe for disaster. I wouldn’t last the full hour I expected of myself.
Grabbing my earbuds, I slipped on a pair of Yeezy’s in a size 6, grabbed a water bottle, and headed out the door. I lived in a townhome in Uptown Dallas. The area was popular for professional socialites, and those who wanted to be seen and known throughout the area. I’d purchased my place a few years ago using part of my inheritance from my grandfather as my down payment, making the mortgage manageable.
Yes, I came from money, and I loved what money can do, but I was smart about how I handled it. That’s what Ellis loved about me. I didn’t take every dollar I had, only to blow it at Neiman Marcus, or on a night out with the girls. I was about building and developing, because you never knew what tomorrow could bring.
I remember going to a business event with a friend last year. A billionaire was speaking. His name was Com Mirza. He gave us a sage bit of advice: spend 10 years working to live off 10 percent of our income while investing the other 90 percent.
Intelligent challenge. Challenge accepted.
Although I hadn’t joined the 10 percent lifestyle group, I wouldn’t be far off with Ellis’ help. Once he returned from his deployment, we planned to rent out my place for a premium. I’d relocate to San Antonio, move into base housing with him, and continue my job from there.
I currently worked as a full-time beauty editor for Belle, a lifestyle magazine for Texas women. Our central office was in Dallas, however, we had satellites in Austin, Houston, and of course, San Antonio. The deployment would give me enough time to wrap up loose ends here, and transfer to the San Antonio satellite. I wouldn’t be a full time beauty editor in the sense that I had the in-office role and title, but I would still have an editor at large position, provided I could travel some of the time.
Making my way through the walk, I enjoyed the sights and sounds. City life wasn’t for everyone, but as a native, Dallas had the best energy. Every evening, you could literally see the transformation as days ended. City lights peppered the skyline, giving the city a distinct appearance you wouldn’t see everywhere else. I was particularly fond of the wavy, multicolored Omni Hotel, the spherical Reunion Tower, and of course, the 72-story Bank of America building with the dazzling green lights.
I was walking distance to upscale restaurants like Avanti, Baboush, Capital Grille, and the Dragonfly at Hotel ZaZa. I passed these places regularly on my daily walk, just to take in the gorgeous energy and architecture. Like downtown Kansas City, Missouri, it was just captivating.
A hand slapped my shoulder. I was so entranced by the views and lost in the music coming from my earbuds that I hadn’t noticed my name being called. “Rose!”
I turned, curious, only to see it was Alejandro. He worked on our design and layout team. I didn’t consider him a friend, per se. We never really spoke outside of group settings regarding deadlines, but we weren’t enemies.
“I hope I didn’t scare you,” he apologized. “I had just gotten out of the office, and wanted to grab something to eat. I noticed you walking, and wanted to say hi.”
“Oh hey!” I let out a deep exhale. “You scared me. I didn’t know who that was slapping me on the shoulder like that. How are you?”
Alejandro dug his hands into his pockets, grinning sheepishly. I could see the color come to his cheeks now. I didn’t realize how boyish he could be. Either that, or you’d think he was bashful by nature.
“I’m good,” he continued. “We’re finishing the layout for the fall issue. If all goes to plan, we should be headed to the printer in less than a week. Has the beauty team corrected all of their submissions?”
“Which ones?” I was puzzled. As far as I’d known, everyone’s work was completed and ready to go.
“Rebecca’s article had a few issues. Did you get the email?”
Shaking my head, I confirmed that I didn’t. “I’ll be honest. It’s been very hectic for me this week. I didn’t get a chance to look at all the emails.”
“I heard. Your boyfriend went to war, or something. Right?” His tone was casual, but there was a small glimmer in his eyes I couldn’t place.
“Husband, actually.” I flashed my engagement ring. It was flashy enough to look like a real wedding took place. “We just got married before he left.”
Alejandro’s eyes popped at the ring. Their glimmer instantly died, yet was replaced by the sparkly reflection of my finger.
“Damn. Congratulations.” His voice was much quieter. “That’s a nice ring.”
“Thank you.” I smiled. “Who were you meeting up here?”
“Just some… Just a couple of friends. Nothing serious, you know?” He laughed nervously. We were thinking of a couple of drinks and food. Just to catch up on old times. It’s kind of hard to make formal plans when we’re all working. Adult life, you know?”
I nodded in understanding, telling him it definitely was hard to keep up with friends after college. We spoke for a few more minutes. Or rather, he talked, and I listened. As I did, I gave eye contact here and there. Whenever I looked into his eyes, that bashful demeanor intensified. I guess he wasn’t used to talking so much?
My phone began to ring; Natalia’s face popped up on the screen. I lifted a finger to Alejandro, who nodded his head in understanding and stepped away to give a small sense of privacy.
“Hello?”
“Hey! How’s it going over there?”
“It’s going good. Hold on for a sec.” With that, I told Alejandro, “I have to go. It’s my sister in law. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
He nodded, smiled. “Definitely. See you tomorrow.”
“Enjoy dinner with your friends,” I said, waving him off and returning to my walk.
“Who was that?” Natalia asked. Her voice brimmed with curiosity.
“Just some guy from my office.” Truly, that’s all he really was.
“Yo
u’re at the office at eight at night?”
“Lady, no! I was on my evening walk when he stopped me. Apparently he was having dinner in the area when he stopped to say hi. What’s with the inquisition, madam?”
“Oh nothing. Just making sure you’re not trying to flake out on your husband after just one day being gone.”
I gasped. “Two days, not one. And I wouldn’t ever do that. I love Ellis way too much.”
Natalia chuckled on the other end of the line. “I hear you. I was just teasing to begin with. But seriously. How are you? Do you need anything?”
Natalia was married to Ellis’ older brother, Hollis. As a couple, both Ellis and I were several years younger than Hollis and Natalia. Natalia was like an older sister to me in the sense that she married Hollis early into his military career. She married him when she turned 18, and he was 20, even though they’d been together since they were 14 and 16 years old. Needless to say, she’d known Ellis almost all of his life, and was very protective of him, as if he were her own little brother.
A couple walking down the street in my direction caught my eye. They were holding hands, fingers intertwined. He whispered something in her, and she giggled. I admired her clean makeup, accentuated with lash extensions, and the way storefront lights hit her skin. It was a picture perfect moment; beautiful, timeless if it would have only been captured in that moment with the perfect camera.
My heart snagged a beat as I looked at this couple. That could have been – no, really would have been – Ellis and I if he were here. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be us for at least six more months.
“I’m okay,” I dragged. My tone of voice wasn’t as convincing as I would have liked. “I’m just trying to get used to him not being around. It was tough having to wait to see him on the weekends when we’d fly or drive to see each other. Now I don’t even have that option. And I’m sitting here with my heart bleeding while I watch all these pretty girls and fly guys hold hands and kiss each other in the glow of Uptown nightlife.”
“Rose, you have such a flair for making everything poetic,” Natalia sighed with mock frustration.
“Hey, I am an editor.” I shrugged, as if that explained it all. “A beauty editor at that. My job is to make everything sound, look, and appear poetic.”
Natalia gave me advice. The first week would be the hardest. By week two or three, I’d be accustomed to him not being around. At the end of the first month, we’d establish a routine, and I’d probably get to speak to him on a semi-regular basis. It wouldn’t replace his physical presence (nothing ever could), but it would allow me to feel secure in a new rhythm.
In a way, it would feel more intimate because we’d be forced to get to know each other on a different level, so we could delay the honeymoon period without consequence, something other newlyweds didn’t have the pleasure of experiencing.
“Have you spoken to him?” she asked.
“Just once or twice on Skype. He looks so happy.” I pouted.
“He is happy. You know he’s always loved the military. He loves to deploy, and he always said he wanted to use that money to give you the big wedding you always wanted.” My eyes bugged when she said that so matter-of-factly. Big wedding? With blood, sweat, and tears money?
“He seriously planned to use all his extra money for the wedding?” I gasped. “No. I can’t let him. My parents have decided to pay for it.”
“You know how those Houston men are, Ro. So proud, so stubborn, and so damned hardheaded. He wouldn’t take a rusted penny of your dad’s money for the wedding.”
“Well he doesn’t have a choice. I’m planning the entire wedding and having everything paid for and ready to go when he comes home. I’ve set the date for two weeks after his definite return and everything.”
Now it was her turn to gasp. “Definite return? You know there’s no definite return on these things, right? He could be extended to stay out there longer, if he chooses to, or if he’s mandated to for one reason or another.”
“No. I am a firm believer in the law of attraction, and I firmly believe that since I want to be married in less than seven months with a nice wedding, we will have that.” I could almost feel my nose toot itself upward. Like the man I’d married, I too could be proud and stubborn, refusing to compromise to get my way when I really wanted it.
You could almost hear Natalia’s eyes roll to the back of her head at my admission. I laughed. It was okay that she groaned in disbelief. I lived in my own bubble of wonderment, and liked to keep a peppery, world-is-mine attitude. It’s just how I moved through life. Natalia wasn’t necessarily a negative Nancy; she just fancied herself more realistic and mired in actuality.
Changing the subject, I asked. “What’s for dinner? And how’s my nephew?” I bopped down the street as I thought about what I’d be having dinner. I had another fifteen minutes of walking to do, but, I was going to cut it short and head back to the house.
I was hungry, and I already knew I was going to grab some my lunch leftovers, Pad Thai from Zenna to indulge myself deeply. I already knew I didn’t need to do that. I should have opted for a protein shake instead, but I wanted thick greasy noodles.
“I’m tossing together a steak salad, with those Hawaiian rolls you know everyone likes. For dessert, there’s ice cream or cookies. I’m just going to prep the food and go straight to bed.”
“You sound so down all of a sudden. Are you okay?”
“I’m just a little frustrated with Hollis’ attitude lately. He’s been working a lot, and he makes time for Jordan, but he doesn’t have time for me. And we’ve been doing nothing but fighting lately.”
She paused, and then added, “That’s the not-so-fun part about being a military wife. You get the good, bad, and ugly of being the second priority. You’re really the mistress in your own marriage. The government is always first.”
“I’m sorry Natalia,” I said, in my most soothing voice. I inserted my key in the lock, turning the door in a swift gesture. “You know Hollis loves you. He’s been with you since like forever. Almost 20 years. He’s just having a rough patch.”
“You’re right, Ro. It’s just difficult to be levelheaded when he’s snapping at me all the time,” she replied. I could hear the weariness in her voice; she sounded like she could use a vacation.
“Hey, when’s the next time you can get off work?” I asked, getting an idea. “You should come spend a week or two with me. Get your mind off him, that base, and military life. Live like a carefree civilian again.”
“I have time saved up, but I’m not sure.” Natalia sighed heavily. “We were supposed to take a family vacation, but he says he’s busy, and I haven’t had time to get him to schedule some leave.”
“Forget him. Forget my amazing nephew. It’s about you, girl. You have to take out time for you. Otherwise, you’ll get lost in your wife and mother duties.” I headed straight to my fridge, grabbed the pad Thai from the top shelf and popped it in the microwave. Then I grabbed the first bottle of water I could find and chugged. I was definitely hungry, and there was no apologizing for it.
Natalia’s eyes rolled so hard in the back of her head, I didn’t need to see it. I could hear her exasperation in the audible groan on the other end of the line, and the persnickety quip that followed. “Have you been reading more of those books on expert motherhood and marriage again?”
I didn’t hesitate to answer. “Yes, ma’am, I most certainly have. And I’ll have you know that-”
You know, I was so ready to explain everything I’d been learning, but she cut me off there. Natalia only had one child, but she thought she was the queen of everything marriage and mommydom. Because she had to learn on her own, she felt books were just way too impractical.
“Stop, woman! I don’t need another pop psychologist reference on how to handle my marriage, or my son, okay?” I silently thanked the gods we weren’t on Facetime as I rolled my eyes. She happily continued chastising. “Rose, nothing will ever prepare you for mot
herhood or marriage except getting married or having a child yourself. The books don’t have it all!”
“Yes they do,” I stated, matter-of-factly, sticking to my guns. “That’s why they’re bestsellers.” I pulled the oily noodles from the microwave 30 seconds early. Of course, some sections of the container were piping hot, others still cold. I mixed them with my fork hoping to create a lukewarm orgy that would go down quickly. “Besides, I want to be prepared as much as possible, even if I can’t know everything until it happens.”
I couldn’t wait for us to start our family. Ellis and I spoke often of having children a couple of years from now. It was still early, but I always believed preparation was the key to a solid foundation.
We continued our sisterly argument, going back and forth until I got bored. I didn’t need to argue with her about baby books. Nobody had time for that. I wanted to have her come out here and spend time with me, so I could drag her around the city for bridal shopping purposes. (And cocktails, of course.)
“Okay, I’ll check in with Hollis and see how he feels about me going out of town. But he’ll have to keep Jordan. If I take a break, I need a serious break. I don’t want to feel like a vacationing single mother.”
“Hush!” I said. I heard voices in the background, my cue to leave. “I’ll let you go. I know you have to get dinner ready. Send everyone my love.”
***
After downing the rest of the noodles, I did a little cleaning up, then showered, and jumped into bed for some reading. I was currently finishing Succulence by Lauren Lashley. It was an erotic read, but there were some twisted people in this story. First, Amy has a hard time making ends meet so she becomes an escort…but then there’s this whole crazy relationship with her ex, and this mysterious client she’s seeing. As if that’s not enough, the stuff that happened with her coworker Stacy was just way too much. And this was all set here in Dallas!
My life was a very busy one, but also very predictable and bland. Therefore, crazy romances with lots of sex and drama were my thing, because I would get to live in a world full of sex and excitement that didn’t exist in my reality.