by Hart, Alana
My mind was drenched in questions as I skimmed through her Instagram. I was scouring through each picture as if I could see the signs of his infidelity in those captured moments.
Rational thinking should have told me not to bother; Kelli was highly discrete. She would never pretend everything was perfect; however she’d also rather drive a stake through her own heart before she broadcasted her challenges to the world, especially on such a public forum as social media. She didn’t believe there was any privacy on the Internet, and therefore something as sensitive as an affair would never be exposed there. The fact that this happened and she never told me, her best friend, was solid proof she kept the grisly details of her life under wraps.
She returned, carrying a tray with two drinks and some chips with hummus. Setting the tray down, she motioned for me to grab the other drink, but I raised the one in my hand, indicating I hadn’t even finished the first one.
“Look, you’re not going to get me white-girl wasted until you spill the beans,” I pushed. “I had no idea Kristopher had an affair. Why didn’t you tell me?”
There was that wry smile again. “It wasn’t important.”
“What do you mean, it wasn’t important, Kel? That’s your husband! Your husband having an affair is very important.” I couldn’t believe the dismissive way she handled this situation. There was no way Hollis could ever cheat on me and I’d dismiss it. Ever.
“I’ve learned that in life, you have to pick your battles.” Kelli looked at me, speaking coolly throughout. “Kris might have started the battle, and perhaps even conquered me in a few of them. But he has not – nor will he ever – win this war. At some point, you have to realize that when you’re a Marine wife, love is battlefield, and there are times you’ll have to go to war in your marriage, and for your marriage.”
“When did you find out?”
“Last year.”
I gasped. “You never told me anything. You never even looked like anything was happening.”
She chuckled quietly. The twinkle in her eye glistened. I waited for her to respond to my statement, unspoken questions that awaited as-of-then for answers to be provided. There was no way I wasn’t leaving without knowing the details of this entire situation.
My nerves began to fray as I watched her slowly kiss the glass of strawberry lemonade mixed with Svedka. She still hadn’t responded, but she giggled as she peered off in the distance, lost in her own thoughts, laughing at secret memories I had no knowledge of. She almost looked crazy, chuckling to herself as she stared on the wall where her family pictures were placed, like I wasn’t there.
“Hello. Earth to Kelli: Your best friend is here on the couch, scared her husband is cheating on her thanks to your assertions.” I waved my hand in her peripherals. “Only to be informed that you – her best friend – had a cheating husband on top of it all.”
“Has,” she informed me, looking squarely in my eye. “He’s still cheating.”
I shivered. What the hell? He’s been cheating for a year, and she’s okay with this? I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. Why was she so detached and unbothered by this behavior?
“Why are you so okay with this?” I asked, coming undone at the seams. My head was going into overload about this all.
“Because I’m having one too.” Her face blushed with a surreal form of serenity. She seemed so blissful, you would have thought she was talking about a delightful spa experience.
Now it was time to finish my drink. I gulped down the rest of the colada, surprised at how smoothly it went down. All this scandalous new information required me to have all the tolerance possible. These revelations were just a-tumbling out of her mouth one after the other, and each and every one was a hard swallow. (All puns intended.)
Slamming the glass on the coaster, I maintained my grip as I leaned forward. “Talk.”
After swearing my ass to secrecy (like I had anyone to tell), Kelli filled me in. Apparently, sometime last year, they started having lots of fights. Initially, the arguments weren’t that serious, just enough to annoy her and keep her from being interested in spending time with him.
Things intensified when Karter was sent to stay with his grandparents for the summer. Kelli was reconsidering going back to school, doing something to fill her time since she was a stay at home wife.
Kristopher refused, telling her that he didn’t want his wife to work. At the same time, Kristopher said he’d work more, making Kelli laugh, because military personnel had fixed salaries; all that overtime wouldn’t affect their pay. He argued she was right, but that if he did what he was supposed to, he could potentially PCS and they could move to another base that wasn’t as hot, so she didn’t have to feel stuck in the house so much.
“All of these arguments were confusing to me. None of them made sense, and his rationale for not letting me work, and keeping me in the house here, just never added up. I’ve always been sensitive and prone to sunburn, so these extra things he referenced? Nonsensical, you know?” She looked to me, eyebrow raised in question, waiting for my agreement. Dipping a chip into the hummus, she finished her intermission before continuing.
“So skip to the cheating. How did you find out?” I had already begun impatient.
“I was doing laundry and there was lipstick on his boxers. On the crotch. It wasn’t mine. Lipstick stains are impossible to get out of standard issue briefs, so I would never do such a thing.” She laughed. “Would you believe he had those tighty-whities balled up like I would never see the evidence?”
“Did you ever confront him?”
“I tried, but you know he had an excuse. He tried to say that I probably did that to wipe my makeup off when I ran out of wipes. As if!” She waved off the nonsense as she relived the moment. “Eventually, all it led to was more fighting, and even though more evidence showed up, I didn’t need to keep questioning it or confronting him. He would never fess up to his behavior. And whoever she was, she was tightly hidden from my radar.”
“Was?” I repeated. “You said he’s still cheating?”
“He is,” she affirmed. “But not with her. This time it’s another girl. She leaves a smaller lip print on his briefs. And she wears MAC Twig. I know the color, because I wear the same one. It’s my favorite.” She paused. “Oh – and she tries to be messy. She likes to come up to us on base and strike casual conversations with him. Her name is Bella DiMaggio, and she’s a contractor. You should see the way he stiffens when she walks up to us. The overly friendly greeting she gives him, coupled with the bitchy sweetness she gives me? Oh, that lets me know she’s the one.”
“Bella, Bella? As in Nick’s wife, Bella?” I knew her. She wasn’t in our circle but associated with it. “Isn’t she married?” I said, incredulous of this mounting and twisted soap opera the base was becoming.
“She is, but word is Nick’s been stepping out on her for a while. I guess she needed to get him back, and Kristopher was the perfect revenge. She always seemed to have eyes that lingered longer than I would have liked when it came to him.” Her eyes narrowed. “Bitch.”
“Trashy bitch,” I emphasized. “But wait. Who are you sleeping with?”
Sly amusement spread over her classically beautiful features. “Too much information.”
“Aww, c’mon.” Whenever she used that statement, it was her way of shutting down the door. “That’s not fair, Kelli. You’ve been dropping bombs on me all day, and now you don’t want to tell me about this?”
“It’s not about my affair, darling,” she stressed. “It’s about Hollis’.”
My heart sunk. This was the driving force of this conversation. “You really think he’s having an affair?”
She chose her words carefully. “I cannot clearly confirm or promise that he is, but as someone who’s been in your shoes, the signs are there. Who knows? Perhaps he’s just having a moment, being a typical asshole – as men tend to do from time to time. But I’d rather have you prepared for the worst than sit by and watch y
ou get blindsided and heartbroken.”
***
Kelli and I spent the remainder of our afternoon together. Our conversation centered on talking about love, relationships, and dealing with heartbreak at first. After a while we moved on to other topics: hair, food, celebrity gossip.
As we gabbed and giggled, I couldn’t get my mind off the stunning information I’d learned about Kelli’s marriage. And I hoped with all my heart that Hollis wasn’t cheating.
… But I couldn’t deny the nagging feeling that my best friend was right. Kelli wasn’t negative by nature. She had a very lighthearted approach to life, and an optimistic disposition. It was just layered over a solid foundation of realism.
Time passed so quickly. I was almost late picking up my son. Gathering my things, reality hit me all over again. I was headed home, to an angry, detached husband, for another evening of fast food, cold silence, and a sexless night in. Eerie tingles climbed up my arm as I considered the idea that he’d been texting his love and desire for another woman all day, while not even bothering to text me once.
“Don’t let it get to you.” Kelli patted my arm. She pulled me in for a hug. “It’s going to be okay, I promise. No matter what, please know I’m here for you.”
Her words did little to soothe me. Hollis was my world. My family was my life. I was dedicated to him, to us. I wanted another baby, and I’ve been waiting patiently for the time to be right.
I had no idea how I’d cope if he wasn’t in love with me anymore, because that meant having a daughter of my own would be out of the question.
“I know,” I replied, sullen. I turned the doorknob and sighed. “Thank you for all your support. I’ll text you after I pick up Jordan and get out the tub.”
I fished through my purse for my keys. I shook my head when I realized they were buried underneath a bunch of last week’s lipglosses. I meant to clean out my bag, but I’d never gotten around to it being my funk.
I clicked the locks on my green Kia Soul parked against the curb, fussing with myself, as I checked the heavy inventory in my bag. I cussed harder when I nearly tripped off the curb because I wasn’t paying attention. Instinctively, my hand fell on the hood of my car, and I screamed because the hot metal nearly scorched my palm.
“Stupid heat!” I hissed. I checked my palm to make sure I hadn’t given myself a serious burn as I hobbled lightly to the car.
That’s when I noticed them, a succulent bouquet of over two dozen roses, plush with silken petals, and solid, healthy green stems, laid across my windshield. Each crimson colored flower was a beauty in and of itself, all of them surprisingly crisp for being in the sun after I don’t know how many hours.
“Oh, my god,” I whispered. Grabbing the bouquet, I lifted them to my nose, letting the sultry essence of American red roses caress my senses. The craftsmanship of the bouquet was far superior to any I’d seen at the local supermarket, letting me know this wasn’t a random gesture of last minute affection.
“Kelli! Kelli!” I squealed loudly, running to bang on her door without any care. I was making a scene, and I’d normally be embarrassed, but this was different. Hollis’ tender surprise filled me with an inexplicable high. It was perfectly timed, especially considering I’d spent my day fearing the worst of him.
“Natalia, what is going – Oooh! Those are beautiful!” Kelli’s voice transformed from borderline irritated to complete shock when she took in the flowers.
“I know, right?” I beamed, holding them out for her inspection. “Hollis left these on my windshield. He must have remembered I was off work today and put them there to surprise me!”
She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t he know leaving beautiful flowers like these on the windshield will destroy them sooner? Especially in this hot sun?! Men!”
“These had to cost a small fortune. They’re nothing like the ones you find at Kroger,” I said, blushing all over again.
“Definitely not,” she agreed, admiring a silky petal with her fingertip.
“But you’re right. I need to get these in a vase,” I said. “And beat him home before he beats me there. Shit. I have to go back to the commissary to see if that steak’s still there. I think it’s time I actually cooked tonight!”
I winked at her as I skipped back to my car, this time keeping an eye out for the curb. I had no idea how I’d quickly throw dinner together, but time was stirring fast and I needed to get to it. This was the sign I needed to know that we were okay, that he still loved me, and that we were going to make this work.
We were going to make love tonight!
Chapter 5: Natalia
I called Jordan’s day care and informed them I was running behind. I didn’t have a vase, so I headed over to the commissary. They didn’t sell any, so I grabbed the steak (thank God it was still there), and then headed to the closest Target to purchase one. These flowers were too good for a Wal-Mart purchase. If I had to guess, they were at least $50.
I set the flowers in their vase, placed them on the counter, and clicked on the oven as I seasoned the steak. My plan was to get dinner started while I picked up Jordan, and then took him to eat whatever he wanted so I could focus on seducing his father to give him the little sister I wanted him to have.
Jordan didn’t seem to mind that I was late. He was even happier when I let him pick Chick-Fil-A for dinner again. He loved the chocolate cookies and crème milkshake. I made the deal even sweeter by letting him get a large shake instead of the regular sized one.
“Thanks, mom! You’re the best!” he said between sips.
When we entered the house, he immediately looked at the flowers. “Where’d those come from?”
“Your father, pumpkin.” I laughed when he rolled his eyes. He hated when I called him pumpkin, and he was still at that age where showing affection to girls wasn’t cool. He shook his head in disgust at romantic things couples did, calling it mushy stuff.
“Hey,” I reminded him, “How do you think you got here?”
“Ewwww, Mom! Yuck!” He raced off to his room, covering his ears.
“You know you’re not supposed to eat in your room!” I called after him.
“Can I do it just this once?” He called back. “Please…?”
“Only this time.” I gave in. “Next time, you have to eat at the kitchen table. You know the rules.” I could let him slide this once. After all, today was special.
I called Hollis, asking him when he would be home. He replied that he was working late, cutting the conversation short for a meeting.
“I love you.” I cooed with all the emotion I could muster.
He simply grunted, “Bye” and hung up.
I shook my head in disbelief, yet one look at those roses and I melted all over again. Even Hollis’ grumpy disposition couldn’t get the best of me today. My husband, the love of my life, had bought me flowers, something he hadn’t done in years. His behavior, I’m sure, was his way of playing dumb, especially in front of his crew. He had this need to be the macho man no matter what, and didn’t like when I called him on his sweetness outside the confines of our home. That, and perhaps he was having a bad day at work.
After dinner, I let Jordan play in his room until 8:45, then prompted him to hurry up and shower before going to sleep.
“Is dad home yet?” He asked.
“No, honey. Your father’s working late, but I’ll tell him you were waiting for him.”
He looked a little sad, but shrugged it off quickly. “Okay.”
Once my baby boy was in the shower, I text Hollis.
- What time will you be home?
- Be there in an hour
My heart leapt. Usually, I’d be frustrated he was home so late. Over the past week, it’d have been a blessing. But tonight, I was little happy, because it gave me a firm timeframe for final preparations.
I cleaned up the kitchen, setting the steak with garlic butter, garlic mashed potatoes, and steamed veggies on one of the finer dinner plates. I
placed two of his favorite beers in the freezer, so they’d be ice cold when he got home. Once that was done, I hopped in the shower, washing up from head to toe and using a little strawberry coconut body scrub to make sure I was extra soft and slippery. I said a prayer as I pulled out an old red negligee, one that used to be his favorite, and slipped it over my body.
I looked over my body, noticing the effects of age and time on it. Childbirth altered my once perky C cup breasts. They were fuller, but sagged quite a bit. My stomach had taken on a small roll, giving me that dreaded muffin top whenever I pulled on my trusty old mom jeans. My thighs had a jiggle to them that didn’t fit my prior runner’s frame.
Facially, I wasn’t that bad. My skin didn’t have any horrible blemishes or discolorations. I still had pretty grey eyes, aside of the occasional bags from stress. My mousy brown hair had been growing out, but it was so flat and lifeless I didn’t know what to do with it. I let those half-dead waves strew about, promising myself that I’d do better once I got around to it.
Summer was almost over. In a couple of weeks, Jordan would be headed back to school. During that time, I could probably focus on myself, and spend a little money getting my hair highlighted and layered. There were usually outdoor boot camp specials available too. Maybe one of those would get me in shape?
“Natalia.” I was so busy looking at myself in the mirror, I didn’t even notice he’d gotten home. Fifteen minutes early, at that.
I gave myself a nervous once over, calming the butterflies in my chest and tummy as I rubbed the final touches of red lip gloss on before going to greet my wonderful husband.
“Yes, baby?” I walked with my steps slightly pronounced on the balls of my feet, excited but ready to face my man. I couldn’t wait to feel his lips on mine as he told me he loved me and missed me, and wanted to make love to me.
But instead of witnessing the millionaire smile that belonged to the handsome, charming man I married, I was smacked with the glowering scowl of an angry beast. He eyed my gorgeous roses, proudly commanding attention on the counter.