by Hart, Alana
I assumed Kelli would listen to me and take me home, but she didn’t. I could tell because it only took a few minutes to get to my home, and before I knew it, I felt the car go over the speed bumps and swerves required to exit the base.
“Kelli…” I groaned. “I’m not in the mood. Please take me home.”
“Shhh,” she said. “Just relax and trust me. Please. Just rest.”
I grumbled, sighed, and once more resigned myself to Kelli’s plans. Even when I all I wanted was to be alone, I couldn’t have what I wanted out of life.
Chapter 13: Natalia
“Wake up, lady.” Kelli nudged my shoulder. I blinked rapidly, attempting to figure out where I was. Not realizing I’d fallen asleep in Kelli’s car, I was surprised to wake up and see we were in front of a hotel.
I looked at her and asked, “Where are we?”
“We’re at our destination.” She opened her car door. “Get out.”
I looked around and realized we were in San Bernardino, an hour and a half away from home. I couldn’t believe I had been so tired, I didn’t realize she had taken me on a road trip.
“Kelli, you know I have to go to work tomorrow. I can’t stay in San Bernardino overnight.”
“Hush woman.”
Less than 10 minutes later, Kelli and I were in our room. She booked a basic room with two king beds. But basic was anything but “basic” in my eyes. The room had a serene ambience, decorated in blue, crème, and gold. The bed was just so inviting.
“I felt you needed time to get away from the madness and consider what you want right now,” she spoke quietly. She turned on to her side and faced me. “You’ve been through a lot, and today was just the explosion of it all.”
“No kidding.” I palmed my cheek, checking the sting level left from the slap.
“I came here a lot when I first discovered Kristophe’s infidelity,” she confessed. “I’ve spent many random nights here, wondering how to deal with him. If I should tell him, or whether to just keep going.”
“Where’d you get the time to do that? Or the money? Aren’t you a stay at home mom?”
She smiled. “Never let anyone fully control your lifestyle, lady.” That secretive smile she work provided even more questions than answers.
“This room is paid for. I’ve taken care of it.” She stretched out briefly, then looked at the time, which was now after 4 PM. “The stores are closing early because it’s a Sunday, so I’ll be back. You just rest. Unless you want to come?”
“No, that’s okay.” I really wanted to get out and explore, since I hadn’t been out in a while, but the level of fatigue in my spirit made that an impossibility. I stretched one leg up, curling it closer to my person. The sheets were calling my name. “I just don’t have it in me right now. Thank you.”
“No problem.” She fished in her purse and tossed a medicine bottle on my covers. Curious, I examined the label. “Ambien. It’ll help you knock right out for 8 hours. Get some rest while I’m gone.”
Shaking my head, I tossed the container back. “I don’t need 8 hours of sleep. Not in the middle of the day.”
She tossed me another container. “Here’s Xanax. You may or you may not sleep. But you will certainly be more diffused. And that would definitely help you right now.”
I popped one of those, letting it dissolve under my tongue, and then swallowing the slightly gritty, bitter pool of saliva that built from its exchange.
It was less than 15 minutes before I drifted off to sleep. Throughout my state of sleep, I thought about everything that was going on. I dreamt of going away from Twenty-nine Palms, California, for a while, and being in Texas with Ro.
In the dream, I didn’t have Jordan, so I was free to go where I wanted. Ro and I got manicures, and had fun. Hollis was loving and attentive, and when Presley showed up, he was nothing more than some guy that hung around Hollis, and Hollis didn’t even like him.
Xanax must have worn off quickly, because I woke up two hours later. It was a little after 6 PM. True to her word, Kelli wasn’t back from shopping yet. I had no idea what this girl was buying, but she needed to hurry back. I was absolutely starving, and I needed to take a shower. Not so much because I was filthy from a hard day’s work, but I just needed to rinse myself off from the madness of today’s events.
Kelli’s phone went to voicemail twice, so I shot her a text, letting her know I was awake and hopped in the shower. As I let the cool water wash over scalp and skin, I pondered over the dream I had. Ro had invited me to come to Texas, and I kept telling her no, using Jordan and Hollis as an excuse. Summer was pretty much over, so any thought of family vacation was completely out the window until the holidays. Yet and still, I felt there was a stranger in my house, and this person hated my guts.
I was mentally fatigued, and honestly had no clue how, in less than 24 hours, I was supposed to get through the next day coming back to work, especially with a huge red mark on my face and bruises forming around my neck. I looked at the bruises in the mirror, evidence that what had happened was not a dream, but a real event. Part of me wanted to crumple in a fit of sobs again, but I couldn’t. My tear ducts were exhausted beyond normal repair, so I just had to let the sorrow billow through me as I realized the man I fell in love with had fallen out of love with me.
I heard the door open, so I styled my hair with some hotel conditioner, and walked out in just my towel. I was completely fine sleeping naked.
“Just in time,” Kelli greeted. She held up a bag from Macy*s. “We didn’t pack any clothes so I got you some things. I didn’t know your exact sizes so I’m hoping something will fit.”
Fishing through the bag, there were three dresses and two hippie style skirts. I put on the sage green skirt, and looked. “Did you get any panties?”
She waved her hand. “Let your cooch breathe. You still hungry?”
I nodded, and she said to give her a few minutes to change. She put on one of the dresses, an aqua blue that complimented her tanning complexion, and escorted me out the door. We enjoyed dinner at BJ’s Brew house as we chatted. Per usual, the food was excellent, but the conversation consisted mainly of the events that transpired back home.
“I don’t know if it’s safe or sound for you to be living under the same roof with him. I know you don’t want to call the cops, and you think this is isolated, but that’s how domestic violence starts. And he hit you like it was nothing. He’s never just hit you like that before?”
I shook my head. “No, he hasn’t. That was the first time he’d ever put his hands on me. And I don’t think I’m safe either, but I have no idea where to go.”
“You can always stay with us.”
“I can’t bring my problems to your house. Besides, you live right up the street from his lover. I’d be obsessed with watching them together. Did you see how comfortable they were when we rolled up on them today? Hollis didn’t even blink when I approached them.”
“Because to the naked eye they’re just a group of friends. I asked Kristophe if he knew anything about this, and he swears he didn’t. I don’t know if I believe him, but I do know he’s not into that lifestyle. He’d be okay with us bringing in another woman, but man on man contact? Not him. He’ll probably distance himself from this.”
“If he’s distancing himself, then I really have no business bringing my drama to your door. He wants no parts of this. Who would?”
“I do, because I’m your friend, and I don’t feel I’d be a good friend if I allow you to go back to that house alone, knowing he’s put his hands on you twice with other people around. This is escalating quickly. He could kill you in your sleep.”
I swallowed. She was right, but I didn’t Hollis was that kind of man. Then again, I didn’t think he was the cheating kind of man either. My food threatened to come up as I imagined him kissing Presley the way he used to kiss me.
“I don’t want to be anywhere near him if I’m going to separate myself from him,” I declared, once I was able to get my food to sta
y in its rightful place. “My sister in law invited me to come visit her. I told her no because Hollis and I were supposed to enjoy a family vacation, but with Jordan starting school, that’s no longer an option.”
“Maybe not for Jordan, but it’s still an option for you, is it not?”
“I can’t go on vacation without my son. Who’s going to look after him if I don’t?”
“He has his father. When’s the last time you saw your sister in law? Didn’t she just get married officially to your husband’s little brother?”
“Yes, she did. He’s deployed for six months. They tied the knot before he left.”
“Good. Go see her. She needs your company. She’s never been through a deployment while married. It’s totally different than when you’re dating. Spend time with her, get fresh air outside of California, and figure out what it is you want to do with Hollis.”
“Who knows?” She leaned in. “Perhaps time away from you will show him how much he’s taken you for granted. Twenty years with a person is a long time. He might have gotten completely used to you. Damn shame because you’re only 34, right?”
“Yeah. He’s 36.”
“Call her when we get back.”
“I’ll think about it.” I told Kelli that Ro knew everything that happened over the past few days. Obviously, I didn’t get to speak to her today, but I was aware that I’d have to update her before I got there. Depending on how long it took for the bruises to heal, I wouldn’t be able to hide Hollis’s violent behavior.
Kelli didn’t understand why I wanted to hide these marks. It wasn’t so much that Hollis didn’t deserve to pay for what he did. But we had a son, and Jordan desperately needed his father. Putting Hollis behind bars for his actions would only make me look like the bad guy, and I didn’t want to be put in that position. What’s more, having him in prison meant the burden of the household finances on me.
I’d been married to the military since I was 18 years old. I didn’t know much about paying bills. Our bills were minimal because base housing covered a lot. My job didn’t pay a lot, just enough to save a little and enjoy myself here and there.
Most of all, I didn’t want to be seen as anyone’s victim. It’d be shameful to admit I’d let a man put his hands on me. Even if he wasn’t just a random man, but my husband, I didn’t want to drag anyone else into this. God knows the effect this would all have on Jordan, who, up until now, enjoyed a pretty normal life.
Chapter 14: Rose
Natalia called me while I was on Skype with Ellis. I let the call go unanswered, because quality time with him was scarce. He’d become busier and busier these days, and I needed every moment possible in order to feel settled when it was over.
I’d already filled him in on everything Natalia told me. I told him about the constant fighting, the attempts she made to reconcile, and the affair. He was pretty shocked by what I told him.
His disbelief, however, was quite evident when it came to discussion Hollis’s involvement with another man. “That’s not my brother. He doesn’t tolerate that kind of shit. Not even if there’s a policy about it in the Marines.”
“I don’t know, honey. I don’t think Natalia would lie about something like that.” He shook his head again. “She’s been in the family for two decades. Do you really think she’s making it up?”
“I’m not saying she’s making it up.” He licked his lips, looking around his quarters. “I’m just going to say that this doesn’t sound like Hollis. None of this sounds like Hollis to be honest.”
I could agree with that. He promised to reach out to Hollis after he got off Skype with me, and to let me know what he discovered. Honestly speaking, I doubted Hollis would ever come forward and admit to sleeping with another man. An affair? Perhaps. Hitting Natalia, perhaps. But being sexually involved with another man just seemed so far beyond his character.
“Okay baby, I love you. Keep me posted. I’m going to call Natalia back. I’ll let you know what happens with that too.” I waved bye to my husband, who blew me a kiss before disconnecting. I grabbed my iPhone and called Natalia back. She answered on the first ring.
“I think I need to come to Dallas.” She didn’t sound too good.
“You know you’re welcome to visit, but what happened? I thought you were going to wait until you could take a family vacation with Hollis.”
Natalia calmly filled me in from the confines of her hotel room in San Bernardino. As she spoke, there weren’t any words to describe my feelings. I was beyond outraged. First the verbal and emotional callousness, followed by staying out later than usual, an affair, and now physical violence?
It was too much for me to bear. No man should ever put his hands on a woman, and because Natalia was one of the sweetest, most dedicated women I knew when it came to anything in life, I simply couldn’t stop from shaking with rage when I listened.
Inconceivable. Impossible. Insane. How could a man cheat on his wife, a woman he’s been with nearly all his life, had a child with, and accuse her of the affair he’s having, only to get exposed by his man-stress, and still deny and physically attack this woman?
I’d known Hollis over the time I’d gotten to know Ellis and he always seemed to be a friendly, albeit more serious, kind of man. He didn’t crack as many jokes as Ellis, who tended to be the life of the party anywhere, but he always took care of his family. Every new revelation was blowing my brains open.
“You know you are more than welcome to come to Dallas. As a matter of fact, you should have been here like yesterday with everything you’re telling me. Have you packed?” I asked. Taking a survey of my condo, my second bedroom, which had been converted to an office, could be used to place Natalia’s things. I didn’t have an air mattress, but we could get one when she arrived. Then I remembered Jordan. Could they share a room? “Are you bringing Jordan?”
“I’m not sure. I haven’t even spoken to my job. This is really sudden, but it has to be done. I’ve been on a slow decline ever since this started, and now Jordan’s aware. He witnessed Hollis slap me and drag me into the house.” Her voice crumpled as she spoke, her words dissolving into tears. “I don’t know if it’s better to bring him here, or let him stay with his father. School’s starting and I can’t pluck him out this abruptly. He has friends here.”
I could hear a woman’s voice speak soothingly in the background. From what I knew, it had to be her friend Kelli, who was there when everything happened. I never met Kelli personally, but we communicated back and forth via random exchanges on Facebook. Really pretty woman with an even more beautiful spirit if she was there to support Natalia through this.
“Calm down, Natalia. Let it out. We’re here for you,” I said. “You’re not alone. Even though this is crazy, and it’s you who’s suffering, you don’t have to do this alone. Look: I’ve got the extra bedroom ready for you. Just let me know when you’re coming so I can pick you up from the airport. Speak to your job; let them know you have an emergent family situation to take care of. You’ve been working there for years without issue. They’re going to understand your need to take leave.”
“She’s right,” I heard Kelli say. “You’ve had an exemplary record, and no problems. If they don’t let you take time away to handle yourself, then they can kick rocks.”
“You’re right.” Natalia sounded much calmer now. “I’ve just got to develop the strength to deal with this. And I can’t get the strength I need mired in the middle of this mess. Thank you for extending your home to me. I just wanted to update you. I just feel dizzy. This has me going crazy.”
“You’re not going crazy!” Kelli and I said, almost in unison. We reminded her that her husband is the one behaving foolishly. She’s merely a victim to his wild, scathing actions.
Once the call ended, I turned back to Skype. Ellis was still logged in, so I updated him on everything Natalia told me, down to the violent eruption that happened at Kelli’s house. I informed him that Kelli would be watching over Natalia while she pre
pared to speak to her job and come stay with me for a while.
Instead of waiting for him to respond, I minimized the app window, and began reading more of Lauren Lashley’s books. I loved Succulence; it had a wild cliffhanger ending. I wanted something a little different, so I downloaded her other book, Ricochet. It was a short story, about a woman named Carmen, who, incidentally, was married to an Air Force man. Carmen struggled with self-esteem issues, and they weren’t made any better by her husband’s porn addiction. The story was freakin’ compelling, but it ended with a crazy twist. Carmen’s body was found after an apparent suicide.
Thinking of Carmen made me think of Natalia. I hoped she decided to hurry up and get out here instead of staying out there. I know she wanted to be strong and hold her own, but being isolated within your own marriage, thousands of miles from family, especially at a time like this, had to be the opposite of healthy and productive.
***
I heard nothing from Ellis or Natalia the next day. I figured Ellis was a little busier than usual; work had picked up even more since some of his comrades died. I just sent him a good morning message on Skype, and then emailed him that I loved him with a paraphrase of my conversation with Natalia.
By 3 PM, I still heard nothing from Natalia, and became concerned, so I called the base library at Twenty-nine Palms, and asked for her. The librarian said she was out for the day, and asked to take a message. I politely declined and wished her a nice day. I hoped Natalia’s absence was scheduled, but for all I knew, anything could be happening. It was still only 1 PM her time, so I reminded myself to give her a little slack.
Work went by breezily. I kept my mind off the stress of Natalia and Ellis by building up my Pinterest boards. All I could think about was Ellis coming home to me safely, our wedding, and the children I wanted to start bearing. I felt horrible for Natalia, however I knew I was truly blessed to have a man like Ellis. Hopefully, Hollis was going through some kind of phase, albeit a really fucked up one, and this would pass. He’d return to his usual self, make amends with his wife, and they’d go to counseling, and celebrate another 20 years of life together.