CHAPTER 5
“For the Lord has comforted His people and will have compassion on His afflicted ones.”
Isaiah 49:13
Blake got into Mark's little blue Honda and they started on their way. Blake said, “So where is it we are going?”
Mark explained, “I bought some coins on Craig's List from a guy named Nick Sorenson in Morgantown. I've never met him or even spoken to him, we made all the arrangements by email. Do you know your way around Morgantown?”
Blake said, “All I know about Morgantown is how to get to the flea market right there as you get off at the Morgantown exit. Elaine and I went shopping there a couple of times.”
Mark continued his explanation, “Anyway, I've got the Google Maps directions, but this guy has a set of quarters from the 20's that look to be in really good shape, the price was right, so here we are out for a Sunday drive on a beautiful day.”
Although Blake didn't share Mark's passion for coin collecting, he had seen Mark's collection and got tickled by how excited Mark could get about his coins. To Blake there were just old coins, but to Mark, they all had interesting history and stories.
As they approached the interstate, Mark pulled off at a McDonald's and asked Blake if he wanted to get a drink for the road. Blake agreed and Mark got them a couple of drinks in the drive-thru. He then surprised Blake by pulling into a parking spot and turning off the car.
He said, “I'm supposed to tell you something and I don't really want to try to tell you this and drive at the same time.” Mark's voice sounded somehow emotional, Blake was a bit concerned about what Mark was about to say.
Blake said tentatively, “OK.”
Mark heard Blake's tone of voice and quickly said, “I'm sorry this isn't anything bad, well it is, but you don't need to worry...I'm doing this badly. Blake, what I am about to tell you is a precious gift. You know that Beth and I love you and have been praying continuously for you. Well, Beth feels so sorry for what you are going through that she wanted to give you something extremely special.”
Mark took a deep breath and said, “OK here we go...So, you know that Beth and I are both 36 and we love kids, have you ever wondered why we never had kids?”
Blake answered, “Well, I once heard Beth say that it wasn't God's will. She seemed OK with it, so I never really thought too much about it.”
Mark said, “I doubt God's will has much to do with the real reason, but I know she thinks about it in those terms.”
“When she was a child she lived in Texas with her parents and brother. One day, when she was 11 years old, three boys in their late teens got her behind the school building and raped her. A neighbor grabbed his hunting rifle and caught them in the act,” Marks voice cracked and there were tears in his eyes.
Blake said, “Oh God!” Blake pictured in his mind an 11 year old that lives in his apartment building. He occasionally chatted with her and her parents. She seemed like such a little and innocent child at that age. Rape on a kid like that was just inconceivable.
Mark continued, “The harm these boys did to her was immense. The physical damage had her in the hospital for months. The emotional damage was even worse. She will never be able to have children.”
“That's awful! So, just out of curiosity, what happened to the boys?” asked Blake.
“Not a darn thing. They ran when the man came out with his gun. He didn't know them, didn't even pay much attention to them. He was more concerned about Beth and whether she was even alive.”
Mark said, “It is truly a miracle of God that she...”
Blake interrupted, “Wait a minute, I remember her saying that her parents died when she was young, how old was she when that happened?”
“That was only 2 years later. Life seems to be returning to normal, then one day her parents go out, next thing she knows, she and her brother are orphans. They are uprooted from their home in Texas and brought here to live with an aunt they barely knew.”
Blake said, “How in the world did she cope with all that?”
Mark said, “That is the really incredible part of the story. Immediately after the rape, Beth was like a zombie, she just stared into space. There were apparently tons of people praying for her, but perhaps her parents were the only ones more faithful than her youth pastor. Almost every day, he came to her hospital bed, held her hand and prayed and cried for her. As she stared coming out of that zombie-mode, he would talk to her. By the grace of God, Beth never could, and still can't, consciously remember the rape, but it still affected her, it was like her soul was ripped apart.
“One day, after she had been in the hospital for about a month, this youth minister led her to surrender her life to Jesus. From that moment, she started to rapidly become whole. Her psychologist was convinced that she was just suppressing her struggles, he just didn't realize that she had real help. He wouldn't let her out of treatment, mostly just because he couldn't explain the miracle of her healing.
“She has always leaned heavily on Jesus to help her through her struggles and He has always been faithful. A couple of years later when her parents died, then she and her brother had to be uprooted, she had Jesus to catch her and lift her back up. I think that if most adults experienced half the emotional trauma she went through as a kid, they would wind up in the looney-bin. The only way that Beth survived was by the power of Jesus.
“Beth wanted you to hear her story. She wants you to know that Jesus will be there for you and she personally knows that He is able to take the ruins of a life and recover it.”
Blake responded with, “Wow! That's incredible!”
Mark said, “I'm sure you can understand, Beth doesn't talk about this and doesn't want her story spread around. I know I can count of your confidentiality.”
Blake said, “Yeah, absolutely. I am still blown away that Beth went through this as a child and yet to talk to her, you would never know that she has had anything other than a regular life. I would so expect her to have a bunch of issues, even as an adult.”
“The only signs of her issues are that she occasionally has terrible nightmares and the fact that she can't have any children,” Mark said. “and you know why she says she can't have any children? She says that Jesus so thoroughly healed her, that her lack of kids is her daily reminder of His healing. She says that if she had kids, she could easily forget all about her history and the miracle of Jesus' healing. As it is, she sees her lack of children, and thanks Jesus every day for what He has done for her.”
Blake said, “That is the most incredible story. Tell Beth that I greatly appreciate her choosing to have you share the story with me. Would it be appropriate for me to call her and thank her myself or just to have you thank her for me?”
Mark answered, “I'm not sure. In the years that we have been married, she has never shared her full story with anybody before. She's really shy about it, I think she had some experiences with people getting very weird about it. As I think about it, I think she would be uncomfortable with even a phone call, but a note or email might be good.”
Blake said, “OK, I'll do that”, and got out his phone to send an email.
Mark said, “Alright then, let's get on the road.”
Their conversation on the drive to Morgantown remained light, as they talked about cell phones and recent news events. Blake navigated Mark to the address without any problems. When they reached their destination, they found a simple ranch-style home in a middle-class neighborhood.
Mark asked Blake, “On the top of that paper is the guy's name, Nick something, what was it again?”
Blake checked the paper and answered, “Nick Sorenson.”
Mark said, “Alright then, let's go buy some coins from Mr. Nick”
They went to the front door and rang the bell. The door was answered by a slender, blond-haired woman of maybe 30 years old.
She said, “Hello?”
Mark said, “Hi, I'm looking for Nick Sorenson.”
She asks, “Are you Mark?”
“Yes, I'm Mark Harman and this is my friend, Blake Jacobs.”
She replied, “OK, well good, come on in, I'm Nicole Sorenson, most people call me Nikki. For the purposes of online trading, I find that calling myself Nick reduces certain problems. Please forgive me for this minor deception.”
Mark laughed and said, “You sure had me fooled, but I can certainly understand.”
Nikki said, “Well, I've got your coins out on the kitchen table. Come this way.”
She led them through a tidy compact home that did not show any obvious evidence of children or masculine influence. They went to the kitchen and Mark went straight for the plastic sheet holding old quarters. He pulled out a magnifier and began examining the coins.
“These are very nice indeed. Are you sure you asked enough for them?”
Nikki said, “I'm not really trying to make money off of them, I mostly want to see them go to somebody who will appreciate them.”
Mark said, “That's unusual. If you don't mind me asking, if you don't collect, how did you wind up with them?”
Nikki answered, “My husband was an avid coin collector. He died in a car accident 5 years ago next month. Bit by bit, I have been selling his collection. He wouldn't have wanted them to just sit in a closet.”
Mark said, “I am sorry. If these coins are representative, then it looks like he had a wonderful collection. Blake, here, lost his wife just a few weeks ago.”
Nikki turned to Blake, “I am so very sorry. I have SO been where you are now and I know how rough it can be.”
Blake murmured a, “Thanks. It has been rough.”
Nikki and Mark completed their transaction to the satisfaction of both. Then Nikki addressed Blake again and said, “Listen Blake, if you would let me, I would like to do a couple of things for you. I don't know how you feel about such things, but I would like to have your permission to pray for you. I know that prayer makes a difference and that Jesus provides real comfort.”
Blake said, “All prayers are appreciated. Thank you.”
Mark said, “There are many prayers being lifted up for Blake.”
Nikki continued, “And also, I know how there just aren't very many younger folks that lose their spouses and it is easy to feel like nobody can relate to what you are going through. If you want to talk to somebody else that has been there and who has experienced the pain, then I am willing. Let me give you my number. Call me anytime, day or night.”
She pulled out a piece of paper and began writing.
Blake said, “I appreciate the offer.”
As Nikki hands him the paper, she said, “It does feel a bit awkward handing a guy I hardly know my number and telling him to call me anytime. Under different circumstances it would be quite inappropriate, but this is different. This is nothing romantic, it just happens that you are traveling down a terrible road where I have already traveled. Maybe I can help navigate.”
She continued, “Blake, hang on to the fact that you will see her again in heaven. That is the only way I survived.”
Blake thanked her again. He and Mark made their goodbyes and went back to the car. In the time they had been inside Nikki's house, the weather had begun to feel like a storm was rapidly approaching. As the car began to move, the first splats of heavy raindrops were hitting the windshield. Moments later it was pouring down rain. As the weather turned dark and dreary, so did Blake's mood.
Mark made a couple of attempts at conversation, but Blake wasn't picking up his end. They traveled in silence for a bit.
Suddenly Blake burst out with what he was thinking, “What if I can't see Elaine in heaven? What if I'm not good enough for God to let me go to heaven?”
Mark responded with, “I don't think that's something you need to worry about, but let's look at it closely. Tell me about your concerns.”
Blake said, “I don't know...it's just...Elaine had such a tremendous faith. It's like I don't even know her God. Then, today, I read in the Bible about how some people that even do miracles and are sure they are going to heaven are going to get turned away and...”
“OK, hold on a second,” Mark said, “What is this you read in the Bible, where did you find it?”
“It is in Matthew 7,” replied Blake.
Mark said, “My Bible is in the back seat. Can you read me what you are talking about?”
Blake got the Bible, opened it and read:
Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord!' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of My Father in heaven. On that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, didn't we prophesy in Your name, drive out demons in Your name, and do many miracles in Your name?' Then I will announce to them, 'I never knew you! Depart from Me, you lawbreakers!' 3
§
After a pause, Mark said, “You know there are many places that in the Bible that affect me emotionally, but to me this is probably the saddest thing in the whole Bible. You are right, Jesus did say that there are going to be some people who consider themselves true followers of God, but they are going to be shocked by what happens when they try to enter heaven. These people that Jesus is turning away are not casual believers, they were people that prophesied, cast out demons and did miracles in His own name. This bit of Scripture is shocking in its implications, because it says that nobody should take their salvation for granted just because they have done steps 'a', 'b' and 'c'. Every one of us needs to keep pushing to increase their faith and walk more closely.”
Blake said, “Pastor David always says, 'The Bible never contradicts itself.' Doesn't this idea of people seeking Christ, but failing to be saved, contradict what the Bible says elsewhere?”
Mark answered, “The history of the world has been littered with people that have been sure they were being faithful to God, but in truth they were doing just the opposite. Consider Judas, the Pharisees, the Crusades or even Jim Jones.
“According to the Bible,” continued Mark, “we are saved through our faith. There is a world of difference between what different people will call faith. There are people that live for the devil, but are sure they are going to heaven because when they were 6 years old they sat in a Sunday School class and said a prayer of salvation along with the teacher. They are convinced that this represents saving faith even though they never think about the Lord except maybe at funerals, they are like somebody double-checking that they remembered their ticket at the airport.”
Mark asked, “Blake, I can see that this is concerning you, prior to Elaine's illness, would you have expected to go to heaven?”
Blake replied, “I don't guess I ever really thought very much about it, but yeah, sure, I guess that was my expectation.”
“And what did you base that on?”, asked Mark.
“Well, when I was in high school, I made my confession of faith and was baptized. Except in my college years, I've been pretty regular at church and I try to do the right things.”
Mark asked, “So what does it take to get into heaven?”
Blake paused, then said, “I just feel so confused right now. You tell me.”
“OK, I can do that,” said Mark, “let's start with the basics, then. John 3:16 says that 'those who believe in Him shall not perish'. So, it is necessary to believe in Jesus. What do you think it means to believe in Him?”
Blake answered, “I have heard some people talk like it is enough to believe that he was real, but I'm not really sure that's it. I guess we need to believe He is the son of God?”
Mark said, “Believing in Jesus is not like believing in the tooth fairy, it is not a matter of believing in the existence of Jesus. Although, after 2000 years, this may be a first tiny step to faith, historically it wouldn't have made any sense. Those members of the Sanhedrin that had Jesus killed, were all too aware of His existence, but I can't believe that belief wasn't enough to get them into heaven.
“Then, there comes the idea that we mus
t believe in who he is, but think about the demons of the New Testament, James said, '...the demons also believe – and they shudder'4. Those demons knew all too well that Jesus is the son of God.” Mark gestured to the Bible in Blake's lap, saying, “Blake, flip over to Luke 4. Toward the end of the chapter there is a story of Jesus casting out a demon. Read me what is says there, especially the part of what the demon says.”
Blake flipped through the Bible and read, “In the synagogue was a man with an unclean demonic spirit who cried out with a loud voice, 'Leave us alone! What do you have to do with us, Jesus – Nazarene? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are – the Holy One of God!'”5
Mark continued, “This story is typical of many. It seems like most of the time before Jesus cast a demon out of a person, He had to silence it first, because it wanted to announce who He was. These demons knew exactly who He was and they knew His power and purpose. Do you think the demons are going to be in heaven?”
Blake was puzzled, “So, just what does 'believe in Him' mean, then?”
Mark answered, “There were years where I was mostly unsuccessful at really finding Jesus. I went down many roads of what it means to believe in him. Most of the roads came to a dead-end. I finally found Him when I realized that it isn't so much who you believe He is, as it is who you believe you are, in relation to Him.”
“Say what?” Blake exclaimed.
“Let me explain” Mark said, “The Bible makes it clear that our faith in Him must be real. Here's an example, if you have real faith in a chair, you will plop down in it without any concern that it might collapse. It isn't your faith about whether the chair will stand, you can see it is doing that, instead it is your faith about whether the chair will hold you that is important. If you say the chair is strong, but still are scared to sit in it, then you don't have real faith in that chair.
“To know who Jesus is, doesn't mean a thing until we apply that knowledge of who He is to our lives. It isn't enough to believe He is our savior, until that belief causes us to act like He has rescued us from the most awful situation imaginable. It isn't enough to believe that He is our comforter, until we can accept true comfort from Him. It isn't enough that we believe He is king, until we lead a life over which He is sovereign. It isn't enough to believe that He is all-powerful, until we start living like He is bigger than our problems. It isn't enough to believe that He is Lord and Master, until we start acting like we are His slave.”
Blake said, “Wow, that sure raises the bar for belief. I'll have to think about that one a bit, but I'm not sure I have that kind of faith.”
Mark said, “You should think and pray about it before you make a conclusion. After all, I don't think there are any adults that have perfect faith, God continues to stretch, grow and develop our faith all through our life.”
“Adults? That's an odd choice of words.” said Blake.
“By the time we are adults we have been hurt, cheated, betrayed, ripped-off and lied to. Our ability to trust gets damaged. Kids, on the other hand, are so totally trusting. I guess that is why Jesus said, 'Unless you are converted and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.' 6 Living real faith is easy for kids, but can be so difficult for us.”
Blake asked, “So how much faith is required to get into heaven?”
Mark laughed and said, “I don't know. It's not like there is a ruler for measuring faith or anything. From my experience, I guess it is less important how much faith you've got, as it is how real that bit of faith is. A huge faith that is all 'show' is worthless, but a tiny seed of real faith may be enough. After all, the Bible talks about how faith is one of the gifts of the spirit7 and how Jesus is the 'source and perfecter of our faith.'8 Our developed faith is a gift from God, it isn't something that we make happen. All we have to do is to trust him, but that requires that original seed of faith.”
Blake noticed that the rain was tapering off as they drove. After a pause, he asked, “OK, I understand that faith is important, but what about those people that sin after they become a Christian?”
“That is one of the frequently confused concepts of Christianity.” said Mark. “The world pictures God as sitting in heaven with a huge ledger book recording each person's sins and good deeds. Then, at judgment time, God will see if the number of good deeds offsets the quantity of bad things the individual did. If He finds that the individual is an 'essentially good person' then they will be allowed into heaven. Even though this isn't even close to what the Bible tells us, this idea of our actions 'earning' us a place in heaven still bleed over into the Church.
“When God created the world, He put a rule in place that every person that sins against Him will spend eternity separated from Him. God tells us how every person on the face of the earth has sin and how the cost of that sin is to spend eternity in hell. Doing good things does not offset the sins. God doesn't need to track how many sins we have committed, because the quantity doesn't matter9. If we have sinned at all (this includes everybody), then we are a sinner. The sinners are headed for hell.”
As Mark exited the highway he went on, “There is only one way out of this. The one and only way to avoid this sad destiny, is to have the forgiveness of Jesus. Any person that does not have His forgiveness is going to spend eternity separated from Jesus. It is only through Jesus that we can have salvation.”
“To understand this salvation process, we must recognize that Jesus' salvation comes only through grace. It says in Ephesians, 'For by grace you are saved through faith; and this is not from yourselves, it is God's gift – not from works, so no one can boast.'10 There is nothing that we can do to earn salvation. When the Bible says it is not from works, that means that our actions have zero effect on whether we are forgiven or not. The person that is a murderer may be saved and the person that leads a near perfect life may not, both are sinners.
“From the Bible, we remember a group of people that was highly dedicated to pleasing God with their every action. They were known all over for their relentless effort to lead a life that was faultless. They made sure that their every action was in line with the Scripture. The 23rd chapter of Matthew is full of Jesus tearing into these people, the scribes and Pharisees. If I remember right He said, 'You are like whitewashed tombs, which appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead men's bones and every impurity. In the same way, on the outside you seem righteous to people, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.'11 If God was impressed by following rules, then Jesus would have been pleased with the Pharisees who dedicated their lives to following the rules.”
Mark went on, “At no point does salvation, or God's love, depend on our actions. Nobody can be 'good enough', or even 'too bad' to earn salvation, it is a gift given in spite of our inherent badness. Acting the part of a 'perfect Christian' may fool the people around you, but it does nothing toward helping you get to heaven.”
“You see, faith is the foundation on which all aspects of Christianity are built. Faith is the one, single thing that we are responsible for. With, and through, our faith God takes care of everything else. When we have a real faith that allows God to be God in our lives, then God gives us forgiveness. All we have to do is believe. This is the essence of God's grace.”
Blake asked, “I understand that when a person first comes to Jesus he gets God's forgiveness, but what about after that? What about the person that still has sin after becoming a Christian?”
Mark said, “Satan loves to heap guilt on the Christian and tell them that they aren't good enough for God's love because of their actions. The truth of the matter is that God's grace does not end. God will not perfect us until we get to heaven. Until then, every one of us is going to have to deal with temptation and sinful thoughts and actions.”
Mark continued, “But, remember how every person that comes to the Lord with faith will receive forgiveness? That is still the rule, that hasn't changed. G
od is still God and we are still imperfect. His grace still rests on us because He loves us.”
Blake asked, “So you really meant it when you said our actions don't matter. Why does the Bible, and why do preachers, spend so much time telling us what we should and shouldn't do if our actions don't matter?”
Mark paused a moment, collecting his thoughts, and then continued, “There is no sinful action that can directly cause a person of real faith to lose their salvation, but our actions can affect our faith. When our actions are faithful and pleasing to God, then we are feeding our faith. On the other hand, when we make bad choices, knowing they are contrary to our faith, then we weaken our faith.
“An easy example of what I mean would be the recovering alcoholic that comes to faith. While he is 'on the wagon' then he can focus on the Lord and allow Him to rule in his life. He has applied faith. If he starts drinking again, then he has to turn away from his faith to drink – nobody can simultaneously hold in their mind that God rules their life while they sin. So, he would start to segment off parts of his life: these are God's parts and these others are my parts. He would begin the process of chopping up his faith. Sin has a way of getting bigger and bigger. As it grows, faith has to decline.”
Blake asked, “It almost sounds like you are saying that the Christian can get away with anything and it all falls under God's forgiveness. I can go live a life of murder and stealing and be forgiven?”
“The catch,” said Mark, “is that if you are living a real faith, you aren't going to desire that life. There is a huge amount of controversy about whether a person can lose their salvation. There are scriptures that make it sound like you can and scriptures that make it sound like you can't. I just wouldn't want to face Jesus after living the faithless life that is lived by some people calling themselves Christians.”
Blake though for a moment and asked, “That scripture I read, it spoke of people being surprised by Jesus not allowing them to come into heaven, how could that be? The surprise part, it seems like people would know.”
Mark stopped at a light and said, “We live in a world that is all wrapped up in making people happy. Even in many of our churches, they focus on the 'feel good' scriptures. So many churches would rather have services full of people than to teach the truth that might make people uncomfortable. People don't read their Bibles to find out the truth for themselves. So, many people don't really know what being a Christian is about. When they go to church all they hear is teaching about how loving God is.
“I guess this is all according to a plan of Satan. If he convinces people that they have already done everything that they need to do to enter heaven and now they can lead any sort of life they want, then they won't pursue the real Christ. He knows that there is real power for God's kingdom in a single person with true, applied faith. He fears that. This way he keeps people happy and he never has to worry about them using Christ's power against him.”
As Mark spoke these words, he pulled his car into the parking lot of Blake's apartment building.
He said, “I sure appreciate you coming with me today. Am I going to see you at church tonight?”
As Blake opened his car door, he said, “Thanks for making me go, it was much more enjoyable that I expected. I don't really know if I’m going tonight or not.”
The two men said their goodbyes and Blake went into his apartment. He felt a little hungry, but couldn't find anything that sounded right in his kitchen. He turned on his TV and didn't find anything he wanted to watch. He checked his email, but found nothing but junk.
He realized that it was getting late enough that he would have to decide if he was going to the Sunday night services. Elaine liked the smaller group that attended the evening service, especially when they had something they were praying hard about. She would come out of one of those extended periods of prayer so exhilarated.
As Blake lay on the couch thinking about whether he should go to church, he fell asleep.
Burst Into Flames: A Parable Page 5