CHAPTER 9
“My grace is sufficient for you...” 2 Corinthians 12:9
As Blake drove to Mark and Beth's he was reflecting on his last conversation with Mark. Mark had described how he saw accepting God's plan for your life as an assurance of salvation. Blake wasn't so sure. While this idea might be all well and good for a mature Christian, it didn't make any sense for a new Christian. He could just imagine the conversation between Jesus and a new Christian that had just died, “I am sorry, but you can't come into heaven because you never lived my plan for your life.”
Mark’s comments about faith did make sense. Blake knew people that would spout off all kinds of statements about their faith, but when the rubber-hit-the-road, their faith was useless. Maybe a sign of true faith is really whether it is applied to one's life.
That Matthew verse had said that only the people that do the will of God are going to get into heaven. Blake still wanted to cling on to the idea that this meant avoiding sin. Still, he understood what Mark had said about salvation being through grace. Salvation can't be about grace and 'being good enough' at the same time, it is either a gift given out of God's love or it is something earned.
Blake had always found grace to be a difficult concept. It was so foreign to how things work on this world, like the saying, “there's no such thing as a free lunch.” It was so much closer to Blake's experiences to say that you have to earn heaven. Blake's uncle Tony used to say, “If you want the good things in life, you have to work for them.”
As he remembered what his uncle would say, he thought about “the good things in life.” For him, all the other good things paled in comparison to Elaine, but he hadn't worked to get Elaine. She had just fallen into his life. He hadn't deserved her. He hadn't earned her. She was like a gift given to him for no reason...or maybe she was a gift given by God out of love!
Perhaps that is how God's grace works. Even though we don't deserve it, He reaches out and offers us salvation. All we have to do is accept it – accept Him – and salvation is ours! This was beginning to make sense.
He pulled his car up in front of Mark and Beth's home. Although Blake was pretty sure that Mark made very good money on his job, you would never know it by looking at how they live. Mark lived in a modest, middle-class, suburban neighborhood, but Blake really thought they could probably afford to live in a much classier area.
As Blake got out of the car, he thought about a couple of times when he had seen Mark deal with pretentious, snooty people. While Mark had remained polite, he had also made it clear that he wasn't going to play that game. Pretentious and snooty are not terms to describe Mark or Beth. Mark never appeared to have much patience for it. Perhaps that was why they live here instead of a fancy neighborhood.
Mark and Beth greeted Blake with an enthusiastic welcome. They had a wonderful meal. The salmon was every bit as good as advertised by Mark. Throughout the meal, the conversation had flowed pleasantly.
They all sat back, comfortably stuffed after the wonderful meal. Beth broke the brief pause in conversation, by asking Blake, “Blake, Mark tells me that you were asking some questions about God and salvation. Did you get everything figured out?”
Blake replied, “I wish! Well, I have been asking questions of many church-going people recently. It is interesting how many different answers I get. By the way, Mark, I called that gal you bought the coins from.”
“Nikki?,” said Mark. “Did you really? What was she like?”
“Oh, darn,” Blake exclaimed, “she did want to be called Nikki, I kept calling her Nicole. Anyway, she's a little flaky, but I like her. She prayed with me on the phone and talked to me about praising God. We also had a discussion about if people know whether they are saved or not. It was interesting. On the subject of God, she talks a lot.”
Beth asked, “What did you conclude about whether people know whether they are saved or not?”
“Nicole...Nikki, said that she felt there were many people that were deceived. That when they got the tiniest sniff of Jesus, that they would conclude, 'Oh, this must be what salvation feels like.' She gave the example of how she thought her first boyfriend must be a real love, because of the new feelings she experienced. She thought that there were a lot of people that never allow Jesus to come in, because they were satisfied just smelling him from a distance, but this might not be adequate for salvation.”
Blake went on, “I think I am making a mess of her explanation. It made more sense when she said it.”
“I followed you, it sounds reasonable.” said Mark.
“She also told me about a tragedy in her college years that caused her to get serious about the Lord. She said that God took bad events and made good come out of them.”
Beth said, “I have certainly experienced that. So, you have talked to Mark and you have talked to Nikki about your concerns. Do you have any peace about these issues yet?”
Blake responded, “I don't know. Sometimes things seem to make sense and sometimes they are like tidbits of information written on slips of paper swirling around in a whirlwind. I don't know why God has to be so complicated.”
“Oh goodness,” said Beth. “usually when God is confusing, it just means that we are making it too complicated.”
Mark nodded and said, “There is a lot of information about God, just look how long the Bible is, but the parts we need boil down to some pretty simple concepts. The problem is, many of those concepts are foreign to the human mind. We want so badly for God to fit into some human mold, so we can grasp him, but that just isn't God. While we want God to act on A and B and therefore do C, He is managing a universe and dealing with A, B, C, D, on out to infinity. We can't even imagine what he deals with, but as a result of these things, He doesn't act like a human. This all beside the simple fact that He just isn't human, He is the creator of all humans.”
“Let me give you an example,” said Beth, “people have heard enough times that God loves them. So, they expect that when they ask for something that God should give it to them, after all if He loves them, shouldn't He be concerned with their happiness? In truth, He does love them, He also knows what is best for His children.”
Mark jumped in with, “A loving parent will say 'no' to things that aren't going to be good for their children, even if the kids really want them. To the child, playing ball in the street might sound like a lot of fun, but the parent recognizes the risk involved.”
Beth added, “And sometimes the parent makes a decision that make the child unhappy because the parents see a bigger picture. The child may cry, 'Please Mommy, don't make us move, I don't want to live someplace else!', but the mom may know that there are financial issues, beyond the child's grasp, that are forcing the move.”
Mark finished the thought, “When we see God acting like a loving parent, watching out for our needs, even when that makes us unhappy...”
Beth interrupted, “or making decisions that are for the best, but are based on concepts that are beyond us, then we find God confusing. So many people think Romans 8:28 is a blank check for anything they want.”
“Which one is Romans 8:28?”
Beth said, “I'm sorry, that's 'We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.'”
Mark continued for her, “We will never understand God. We aren't capable of understanding Him. How could we ever understand the one who created us? It is like expecting the potato to understand the mind of the farmer that planted it? It just isn't going to happen. So, it all comes down to trust.”
Beth said, “When we can't understand God, which is really all the time, we have only 2 choices, we can reject him or we can trust him. Trusting Him isn't always easy, there are times that it feels like walking across the highway blindfolded, but He always works things out.”
Mark said, “There are times when it might not feel like it, but He really is in control. There will always be th
ose people that will say, 'a loving God wouldn't let this or that happen', but we have to trust that He has a purpose to everything.”
Beth finished his thought, “Even when we can't see it or even imagine it. If we really believe He is God, then we must let Him be God.”
Then Mark said, “And as we talked about the other day, if your faith doesn't really apply to your daily walk, they your faith may not be real. Really trusting God is a big part of real faith, especially in those hard-to-understand times.”
Blake said with his voice breaking, “You know that I prayed for E-Elaine to be healed. He took her anyway. It is so hard for me to trust Him.”
“We prayed for her healing, too.” said Beth. “We don't know why He brought her home, either. There are many other times when we have prayed for things only to have them not answered the way we might have liked.”
Mark said, “When we are looking at prayers that were not answered the way we wanted, we must trust Him. We have to assume that He knows what He is doing.”
Beth added, “We have seen prayers that we prayed earnestly, but weren't answered the way we wanted, yet when we looked back years later we realized that God absolutely knew what He was doing. There was a job opportunity that Mark had, but in spite of our prayers, he didn't get the job. The job seemed so perfect to us. A year later, most of the management team was under indictment. We were so grateful that Mark didn't go work for them. It was a mess. God knew what that position held, even when we didn't.”
“We don't always figure out why God didn't answer our prayers,” said Mark, “but we see the reason why often enough to help us trust him even when things don't go the way we wanted. We have to trust that He is God and that He has everything under control.”
Blake said, “I really want to get closer to God, but it seems like nothing I do makes any difference.”
Beth spoke gently, “When it comes to God, 'doing' is overrated. Many times when your soul is uneasy, the best verse to remember is 'Be still and know that I am God' 26. So let me ask you, what is your prayer life like?”
“Well, I don't guess it is very good,” replied Blake, “I am kind of haphazard about my prayer time, especially since Elaine got sick. In the past, I have tried to get on a regular routine, but something always got in the way.”
Beth asked, “So, what do your prayers usually consist of?”
“I don't know,” replied Blake, “I guess I just pray about what is on my mind. The other day that Nikki girl turned me on to praying a Psalm, that was an interesting experience.”
“So what have you been praying about recently?” asked Beth.
“Mostly about why God seems so distant.”
Beth and Mark exchanged a glance and Mark said, “I think I know where Beth is going with this line of questions. I think I told you that there was a time when I was spiritually where you are now. I wanted God but couldn't find Him. There were a couple of things that I did that began to crack the barrier I had built up between myself and God.
“First, I think that Miss Nikki was on a good track. When I was failing to find God, I was absorbed with all my sin and why made God turned His back on me. In short, I was focused on myself and my problems. I slowly, very slowly, came to realize that where my focus must be, is on Him. A Scripture that was so key for me and this transition comes from the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus told His listeners not to worry about their needs, but instead to trust God and, 'seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be provided for you”27 This scripture told me that the answer to our broken relationship wouldn't be found through asking God 'why?', but instead through just seeking His face as if there wasn't a problem.
“I came to realize that I was only seeking Him to talk about me and my needs. He isn't my slave, whose purpose is to make me happy. Instead, His is God, the king of the universe. I learned that I had to treat Him like He is God and everything else will follow from there. I, too, learned to praise the Lord. When I lifted Him up, then He lifted me up.
“The second thing that I did, was to start getting regular about spending time with Him and in His word. Like you, I had tried and failed so many times to develop a habit of private time with God. Finally, the Lord gave me 2 valuable thoughts: First, if I really want a real relationship, then I had to pay the price. The price I needed to pay was to make myself spend time every day. The second thought was that, for me, I had to get away from the temptations of home in order to be alone with Him. Around the house, there were always other things that needed my attention. I always found myself planning on getting to my prayer time right after I do this, that and something else.”
Mark continued, “While this might not be important for anybody else, for me to get started with spending daily time with God, I had to get away from the house. I started spending my time with God in the car before work, where there were no distractions and temptations to be doing other things.
“About this same time, I picked up a pocket New Testament. I started reading with Matthew and read all the way through to Revelation. Although I had read most of the New Testament before, by reading a chapter here and a chapter there, I had never read it front to back. It really served to open my eyes about Jesus, even though I was already sure I knew Him.”
Blake asked, “So, did you set a goal of reading some specific number of chapters a day or something?”
Mark laughed, “No, not at all! My goal was to let God speak through the Scriptures. Any time a verse would catch my attention or confuse me, I would stop and pray about it. I wouldn't move on until I had some sense of peace about it or gave up trying. There were days that I never made it through a chapter and other days when I would plow through many chapters.”
Blake commented, “That's interesting.”
Beth said, “God gave us the Scriptures and the Holy Spirit because He wants to be active in our lives. God speaks to us if we will listen. He knows what we need and when we need it. He leads and guides our growth.”
Blake commented, “I don't think that God has ever spoken to me.”
Beth laughed and said, “I bet He has and you just didn't know it was Him. Scripture says, ‘For God speaks time and again, but a person may not notice it.’28 Have you ever had a hunch that turned out to be exactly 'on the mark' or arbitrarily changed a routine and wound up avoiding a problem? Have you ever met somebody and immediately felt like you wanted to get to know them better or that you ought to avoid them? Many times when God speaks to us we don't know it is Him.”
“Do you think that God guided the way that I met Elaine?” asked Blake.
Beth said, “I would almost guarantee that He played a part in that.”
“Really?” said Blake, “I wasn't much of a Christian then. Do you really think God might have been guiding my life, even then?”
“Absolutely!” said Mark, “God loves all His people, not just those that know Him. Think about Saul of Tarsus, who was going out and throwing Christians in jail or killing them. God had a plan for Him, just like He has a plan for you. He reached out to help guide Saul to Himself. He gave you Elaine and she helped you learn more about what it really means to walk with Him.”
Beth said, “And don't think that He is done with you. He still has a plan for you. He still is speaking and guiding you. As you align yourself more with the Lord, His guidance becomes more obvious. As you reach the point of starting to seek His guidance on how you can serve Him, then the really amazing things start to happen.”
“What do you mean, 'amazing things'?” asked Blake.
Mark and Beth exchanged a glance and the opportunity to answer fell on Mark. “It's like this: Imagine if you were asked to do something for the president. What he has asked you to do is something that is important to him and he is willing to provide his influence and resources to get it done. As you try to accomplish his errand, doors will be opened and roadblocks will collapse, because you carry the president'
s authority. When a person serves the Lord, doing what the Lord wants, for God's purpose, then they work with His authority and power.”
Beth finished, “This is God, He holds all power. Nothing is impossible for Him. He has a perfect plan for His people. Mark's example of the president's power is easier to relate to, but really the president is as powerful as a soap-dish in comparison with God Almighty.”
Blake laughed, “I bet some presidents would chafe at having their power compared to a soap-dish.”
“Perhaps,” said Beth, “But if they really know my God, then they would know it is true.”
Blake said, “It is interesting to think that God might have a plan for me, that He might actually use me for something. What do you think that might be?”
Mark replied, “Who knows the mind of God? One thing is for certain, God doesn't think like we do. God's plan is virtually never what we would choose for ourselves. There are a lot of people that have surrendered dreams to serve God, but when all is said and done, they never have regrets about following God's plan. You may hear of young people that give up their dreams to follow their parent's plan and end up with lots of regrets, but God is different, He has perfect wisdom.”
“For some people,” said Beth, “they know God's plan from childhood, but for most of us we have to spend a lot of time on our knees, listening hard, to come to an understanding of what He wants from us. It can take a lot of listening, a lot of prayers and a lot of trusting.”
“That's where I have the most trouble,” said Blake, “the trusting. Elaine was so precious to me and now she is gone and I am alone.” He felt tears form in his eyes, but refused to give in to them.
Mark said, “That is perfectly understandable. So many things happen to us that seem senseless. Trusting Him can be an incredibly tough thing. But look at it this way, if you meet a new friend, you don't immediately tell him, 'Here's my credit card if you need anything, just help yourself' or tell him your deepest secret. Trust starts as a small seed and grows from that, as you see the person being trustworthy.
“Trusting God works the same way. You will find small ways that you can trust God, even though you have been hurt. You will find that He is faithful and your trust will grow. The odd thing about trusting God is that it is a bit like chasing a rainbow. You know how the closer you get to a rainbow, the more it appears to move away? Just about the time you think you have completely trusted God, He reveals more ways in which you can trust Him. While you are struggling with trusting God, it may surprise you that I am, too. I may be struggling with trusting Him if different ways and areas, but it is the same lifelong struggle.”
Beth said, “You don't know how often my prayers over some big concern, have concluded with Him asking, 'Don't you trust Me?'” She smiled as she said, “Sometimes I feel like such an idiot when He does that.”
Blake smiled weakly for a moment, then turned serious, “This whole trust thing is a real sticking point for me. Some of Elaine's last words to me were that Jesus would be ready to give me comfort in the coming days, all I would have to do is let Him. I just don't know if I can trust Him enough to let Him do anything for me.”
Mark answered softly, “With what you have been through, that isn't surprising. Is this really a trust issue or are you just angry at Him?”
“Maybe some of that, too.” said Blake, “I don't know. There are so many emotions swirled together. I know that I really want the Lord, I want His comfort, I want to go to heaven to be with Elaine, but at the same time I don't want anything to do with Him. I know that sounds crazy.”
“Blake,” Blake looked up at Beth as she continued tenderly, “there have been times in my life when I got really mad at God. The problem is that His love for us never stops. We feel that love drawing us and when we are angry it just aggravates. We want Him to act like a human and withdrawal His love when we lash out at Him, but He is God. His love endures forever. The Bible says, 'neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing will have the power to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord!'29 So there we are being mad at Him, and there He is loving us. It makes a big conflict in us, because we are drawn by His love, but we are also angry.”
“Hmm,” Blake thought about her idea, “that is kind of how it is. Maybe it is His love drawing me that makes me feel so torn. So what do you do about it?”
Beth smiled as she said, “I usually go on being mad for a little while, but He always wins. His love always overcomes my anger in the end. Have a conversation with Him about how you feel. He already knows what is in your thoughts, so it’s not like you are hiding it from Him. Go ahead and put all your thoughts and fears on the table and give Him a chance to respond.”
“Really?” said Blake somewhat surprised, “Just lay it out there and exactly what sort of response can I expect, lightning striking me dead?”
“I think,” Mark replied, “that being honest with God is always OK. I know I have given him a piece of my mind a few times and he hasn't struck me dead yet. Look at it this way. He made you. As Beth said, He already knows what is in your heart and mind, but that doesn't stop Him from loving you. He just wants a chance to respond to your feelings.”
Beth said, “He has things He wants to be able to do for you, but He can't, or won't, do them while you are shutting Him out.”
“I'm not sure I really want Him 'doing' for me.” said Blake.
Mark said, “You sound like Peter when Jesus tried to wash his feet. He told Jesus that there was no way he was going to allow Him to wash his feet. Jesus basically said, 'If you want to have a relationship with me, then you have to allow me to serve you.' I think that if we block God from working in our lives, then that is a type of pride. It says, 'I don't need you.' God really doesn't like pride.”
With a little scolding in her voice, Beth said, “Mark!”
Mark apologized, “Oh, I'm sorry if that seemed a little harsh, but pride is something I struggle with. I, too, sometimes have trouble letting the Lord do things for me. Just like Peter, I'm OK with serving Him, but it takes an entirely different form of submission to let Him bless us.”
There was a brief pause in the conversation, then Blake asked, “So, the other day I was talking to my father-in-law about God's calling. He really feels like it is extremely important to your spiritual life to follow His will in the form of finding and conforming to His calling for your life. Do you guys feel like you have you have done that?”
Beth answered first, saying, “Absolutely. I really feel like the Lord put me in my job at the University, just so I could be available to those young ladies that God has come into my office. I feel like I am able to serve the Lord through my counseling.”
Mark said, “In my case, I had always worked in sales, for the last decade I've been selling medical equipment. I used to pray to God to reveal His divine calling. I was very slow to realize that it was right in front of me. God gave me a gift of being able to talk to people. They trust me and they open up to me. God has given me an incredible gift and He expected me to use it for Him. When I realized that this was my calling and embraced it as such, then He was really able to work through me. In the mornings, I pray for those people I will meet that day. Frequently God gives me Scripture verses I will need to give people that day. On a couple of occasions, I have even dreamed about individuals that I am about to meet and then I came into that encounter with special insights provided in advance by God.”
Blake said, “Oh, that's interesting. I guess I had the idea that God's calling was always going to be like an occupation.”
“No, I don't believe so.” Mark replied, “Although I used to believe the same thing. I believe I could change careers completely and still be fulfilling my calling, just so it is something that involves working with lots of people. Sometimes I think it is our pride that wants us doing
something big and spectacular for the Lord, but that is only rarely what He is looking for. For most of us, our calling is something much more subdued, but with God's power it can be no less effective.”
Blake looked at his phone, “Look how late it is, and you guys have to work tomorrow. Please forgive me for not going home at a more reasonable hour.”
Beth and Mark both assured him that if they could help him have some peace, that there is nothing more important they could be doing.
Blake thanked them for the delicious dinner and the good conversation. Mark and Beth walked him to the door and out onto their tiny front porch to say good bye.
Beth hugged Blake, saying, “I'm praying that God will perform a powerful work in you.” She stepped back so Mark could make his good byes. As she did so, her shoe caught on the welcome mat. Suddenly, she was toppling off of the porch. Both men gasped as the saw her fall, unable to do anything about it. She fell down, trying to catch herself, but her head hit hard on the concrete.
Mark jumped down and found her limp on the ground. He called her name, but she didn't answer. A pool of blood was spreading out from her head. Mark kept frantically calling to her, but was afraid to move her. Blake grabbed his phone and called 911.
Burst Into Flames: A Parable Page 10