by Pat Simmons
I turned and faced Rhoda. “What? No breakfast?”
She pushed me toward the door. “And ruin my reputation? Nah, I put a muffin, grapes, and a cup of vanilla flavored decaf in your car.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled teasingly as I settled behind the wheel and strapped on my seatbelt. Standing behind William, Rhoda muffled her sniffing with a tissue. William’s stone expression wasn’t convincing. I looked away. I didn’t want to cry anymore.
“While you were still sleeping, Little Mack, I had your oil changed, added air to your tires, checked your fluids, and filled up your gas tank. If you have any problems with old Gertrude, call me. I have a friend who works for AAA. One phone call and he’s on his way. When you get home, buy a new car. ” William bent down and kissed me on my cheek, “You know I love you.”
“I know.”
“If Noel doesn’t work out…”
“He didn’t.” I sniffed.
William’s eyes brightened with hope. “I’ve got a buddy.”
We chuckled. Bumping William out the way, Rhoda bent down to hug me through the car window. “I love you, Mack. God’s got something for you.”
Nodding, my tears fell anyway as we hugged again. Finally, I cleared my throat. “Well, I’d better go. It’s a long, long trip home.”
“Right, five hours tops. Call me when you get there.” Rhoda stepped back into William’s waiting arm, which hinged around her tiny waist instantly.
Attempting a smile, I turned the ignition, checked my rearview mirror, and backed up. Giving one final wave, I drove off. As I glanced in my rear-view mirror, Rhoda and William were dancing in the street.
CHAPTER 43
It took Noel Richardson one week to knock at my door. Through the peephole, my heart fluttered, my eyes feasted at the sight, and my mind screamed, “Forgive, girl, and forget,” but—wait a minute.
As the scorned woman, it was my right to refuse his two video conference call requests, turn off the Messenger option when I logged onto my computer, delete his emails—all twelve of them—including his text messages, but not before my traitorous my eyes read one subject line, “I know I proposed, maybe too soon…”
As far as I was concerned, it took him long enough to show up on my front steps. Briefly, I debated if I should crack the door, or swing it open. Shrugging, I opened the door as though I was expecting him. We stared at each other. “God, I missed him,” I whispered to myself.
The peep hole didn’t see what I saw. My eyes reacquainted themselves with Noel’s hazel eyes, traceable lips, and majestically built body hidden under black precision-pleated slacks and a white polo shirt. Draped with a poker face, I repeated to myself, God, I missed this man.
Reality refreshed my memory as I stood face-to-face with the man who had hurt me. I struggled against bellowing the accusatory remarks that I had stored in my heart. I over-powered my mouth and locked it, signing, “What are you doing here, Noel?”
“I don’t know.”
I would’ve laughed if it was a joke. I opened my mouth, ready to hurl three months of fury. Arching a freshly waxed brow, I ignored his puppy dog expression. Wrong answer.
Taking a deep breath, he shook his head. “Mackenzie, that’s not what I meant. Can I come in?” Noel stepped up into my doorway uninvited. He towered over me. His closeness was hypnotic as familiar cologne tickled my nose. I wasn’t ready for him to gain entry into my home or my heart.
He exhaled at the same time his hand rode the waves of his hair to his neck. When I didn’t budge, his hand nervously rubbed his chin. “Mackenzie, I’m here to tell you I love you, to ask you to marry me again, to ask for your forgiveness, to explain what happened—”
I lifted my hand. “Hold up. Why don’t you start with the last thing and tell me how it’s connected to the first thing—you loving me.” Folding my arms, I leaned against door frame. “Convince me that you ever loved me.”
“Can I at least come in?’ His eyes held determination. It was the battle of forgiveness and stubbornness. Laying his right hand flat on his chest, he rubbed it in a circular motion, signing, “Please.”
Arms still interlocked, I twirled around, hinting for him to follow. I concentrated on walking and focusing on the sofa. I couldn’t recall a time after we started dating that Noel and I didn’t touch each other. He would twist the curls in my hair, stroke my cheek, or play with my fingers as we signed to each other.
If Noel touched me now, I would lose my dignity and forget about our argument. Yet, my body pouted as it anticipated his touch. I sat and expected him to take a seat. He didn’t.
“I don’t know if you can repair my broken heart,” I strained. Thank God Noel couldn’t hear how pathetic I sounded.
Water filled my eyes. Looking at the splendid specimen God had breathed into life, I saw flashbacks—Noel, the man who proposed. Noel—the man who stormed from my house and never looked back, and Noel—the man, who according to Valerie, had another woman. “Ricky, you’ve got a lot of explaining to do,” I signed and folded my arms again with as much attitude God gave a black woman.
“Ricky, who’s Ricky? I’m Noel.” Concern etched across his face.
Chuckling, I waved my hand. “Never mind, it’s a line from an old ‘I Love Lucy’ show.”
Noel squatted in front of me. Hesitantly, he reached for my hands, steadying them with the stroke of his thumbs. “I was stubborn, proud, and arrogant—”
“Stupid,” I added freely.
Nodding, he squeezed my fingers. “Okay, I’ll accept that.”
“Good.” I squinted. “How about insensitive, inconsiderate, a liar, a cheat and—”
He lifted his finger to my mouth and stilled my lips. “Whoa, baby, I’ve never lied to you, or cheated.
“Noel, what happened? You were enraged, yelling and shouting, and then without a goodbye, you marched out. You stopped coming to church, and when you returned, you weren’t alone.”
“Mackenzie, the healing service left me a little upset, okay angry—not at me—at God. That’s no excuse for me to snap at you. Can I use my deafness as an excuse for my outburst?”
I shook my head. “No.”
Releasing my hands, he reached up and with the back of his hand rubbed my cheeks. Closing my eyes, I leaned into his face. Sighing, I enjoyed the moment. Then my lids popped opened. There were still questions I needed answers.
“Why were you mad at God?” I backed away from his contact.
Inhaling, Noel paused before exhaling. “Sometimes—not all the time—when I witness God’s miraculous healing power, I wonder why not me, Lord? The Spirit was so powerful. I felt that I really didn’t need to be at the altar to get blessed. Just being in the crowd, I felt the Anointing would spread. I was pretty arrogant, huh?”
“Yes.”
“It took me a minute before I had recovered from my pity party. I’m sorry, Mackenzie. I shouldn’t have taken out that frustration on you.”
“Noel, it took you more than a minute, try months.”
“I’m stupid, remember?”
“How could I forget?” This time I reached out and smoothed the fine hairs on his chin. Power and strength are sexy, but a man’s vulnerability was endearing. Pulling his chin closer to my lips, I mouthed, “I love you.” As I puckered for a kiss, I thought about the other woman.
Regaining the scornful woman attitude, I shoved him back, causing him to lose his balance and fall on his behind. He didn’t try to get up. Instead he drew his knees to his chest and dangled his arms from his knees.
“There was never another woman. After our disagreement…”
I held up my finger to interrupt. “Make no mistake about that day. It was a full blown argument,” I signed slowly.
“You’re right. Pride wouldn’t let me admit that I was wrong and you were right for urging me to go to the evangelist. Embarrassment kept me from coming back, so I worshipped at my family’s church for a while. Pierce interpreted for me when I couldn’t read the preacher’s l
ips since they still don’t have a Deaf Ministry, but it wasn’t the same. Pierce wasn’t you.”
When he lowered his voice, he had no idea how sexy his whisper sounded to me that I could’ve fainted. “Okay that explains where you’ve been, now, about the other woman.”
“There could never be another Mackenzie. A lady visited my family’s church and when she saw Pierce signing for me, she came over and sat next to me. After a few Sundays, she said she wasn’t coming back because she still didn’t feel a part of the worship service. That’s when I invited her to God’s Grace. I had no choice, but to return and face the lashing you would give me.”
Shrugging, I grinned and Noel’s lips curled. “Oh, you know me so well. Okay, you’ve apologized. You’ve explained. Where is my re-proposal?”
Then my dream abruptly ended. It always did with “the proposal.” Everything seemed so real that I could reach out and touch Noel. Sighing, I rolled over and squeezed my pillow. Moaning, I smiled before my lids fluttered open.
It was the same fairytale that had visited me since the first night I had returned home. The next morning I had cried, but I welcomed the fantasy. Of course, I penciled in the desired answers, including Daddy appearing in the apparition and tackling Noel. I’ve been tempted to pencil out that part, but I figured Noel could use a little roughing up.
Yawning, I wrestled with the covers, then stood and stretched before going into the bathroom. After coming out, I bent by my bed for my morning prayer, “…whatever happens tomorrow at church, I believe You’ll give me strength to face it in Jesus’ Name. Amen.”
I showered, dressed, and was still taking curlers out my hair when the doorbell rang. Going downstairs, I sucked in a deep breath before reaching for the door handle.
“Valerie?”
“Yeah,” she replied, popping her gum before walking in without a welcome home hug or kiss to the cheek. Squinting, she scanned my hair. “You missed a curler. You seemed disappointed. Whom were you expecting, anyway? Remember, I phoned earlier that I’d be over. You sounded drowsy, but you answered clearly, ‘I can’t wait to see you’.”
“Did I?” Closing the door, I led her to the kitchen. I laughed to myself. I could remember every detail about the dream, but I couldn’t remember the phone ringing.
Claiming a chair at the table, Valerie rested her purse. Then my mind and nose began to play tricks on me. Valerie’s perfume ridiculously smelled similar to what Noel was wearing in my dreams.
I frowned. Could a person smell in their dreams? I wondered.
Valerie crossed her leg and folded her arms. “So…how was Chicago?” she asked, bored, briefly distracted by sweets on the table.
“Go ahead, help yourself.”
“Thanks.” With no shame, she reached for the cookie jar and twisted the lid free. While fighting with three headstrong sugar cookies, I noticed her ring. I had forgotten about her engagement.
As she replaced the top, I took a good look at her. She wore heavier makeup and her hair was cut to feather around her face. Valerie’s top was flirty with ruffles at her neck and sleeves.
To a stranger, she was beautiful and confident. To me, Valerie was pretty and never content despite the ring commanding her finger. Crumbs were still on her lips when she began fumbling with another jar top until a few peppermints spilled on the table. I sighed and sat across from her.
“Valerie, I know you didn’t come over to my house to eat.”
She grabbed another cookie, studied it, before nibbling. She mumbled between bites. “Got any milk?”
Lifting my brow, I became suspicious as I stood and headed for the refrigerator. After pouring her a glass, I reclaimed my seat. Even though Valerie ate a lot, she never seemed to gain weight. Always the dainty eater, it was unbelievable to see her devour cookies; gulp down a tall glass of milk before popping a peppermint into her mouth.
Tapping my finger on the table, Valerie’s verbal silence was beginning to irritate me. “Uh, Valerie, is everything okay between you and Nick? What happened to make you go out with him in the first place? How did he propose? When is the wed—?”
Taking a deep breath, Valerie forced a smile as she dabbed the corners of her mouth. Looking me straight in the eye for the first time, she forced a photo-shoot smile. “Mackenzie, I’m so glad you’re home. You really look good.”
That’s not an answer. I rested against the back of my chair and frowned. Something wasn’t right. Valerie was never this temperate. Lifting a brow, I was about to find the reason for her peculiar behavior, but she leaned toward me.
“Listen, I needed to bring you up to speed on what’s going on at the church.”
Always predictable, Valerie was ready to explode. Tell me something positive, I secretly challenged her. What about the sermons Elder Coleman had preached all summer? Why couldn’t she recall the scriptures as she did the gossip?
Planting my hands on the table, I pushed back. “It can wait, Valerie, please. I don’t want to hear one word about anybody or anything in church. I can’t constantly chew off what you’re feeding me. Noel and I broke up. Whatever he’s up to doesn’t concern me.”
Valerie smirked, rubbed her hands together. “Oh, this concerns you—”
“No, I mean it, Valerie. If you spread anymore gossip, true or false, I’m going to fellowship at another church. Of course, Pastor Coleman will want to know why, and I’ll regret to inform him that I’m trying to grow spiritually and you’re one of the stumbling blocks.”
Valerie responded to the threat by leaping up and overturning her empty glass that left a trail of milk on the table. Valerie’s mouth dropped open—I wished I had an eraser to aim at it—she was speechless. She put her hands on hips, which had spread a little during the summer. “Then you already know. You probably haven’t heard all of it. Let me tell you my...”
“Valerie, please. Have you ever read any of 2 Thessalonians 3: For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but busybodies?
“This time.” She paused, her voice broke. “It’s about me.” Tears fell down Valerie’s cheeks. One splashed on table, absorbed a forgotten cookie crumb.
What had Valerie Preston done this time? Concerned, I scooted back my chair and rounded the table to hug her.
I didn’t know what to say. “Valerie, please tell me…this isn’t about something you did in the dark that has come to light. With or without the father, I’ll stand by you.”
Valerie’s eyes widened in shock. “Where did you hear that? Did someone tell you that I was pregnant? How could someone spread lies about me like that?”
Stunned at the hypocrisy of her question, I stuttered, “You’re not pregnant?”
“No, what made you think that?” She frowned. There was no evidence of her tears.
“Oh.” Embarrassed, I covered my mouth. If it wasn’t for Valerie’s gossiping, I would’ve assumed Valerie’s second indiscretion would be yielding to moments of sexual weakness, because she desperately wanted a husband.
Reverting back to her old self, she waved her arm in the air before she planted it on her hip. “I may be a lot of things, including a sexy saint, but I am not a fornicator. I’ll have you know that I haven’t slept with a man since God redeemed me… the second time. Humph!”
CHAPTER 44
“Okay, Valerie… that was too much information even for me. To keep me from making any more assumptions, why don’t you tell me the reason behind your thirty-second breakdown?”
She huffed. “Okay, since you’re prying information out of me, I’ll tell you. I was upset because some saints have been going behind my back blabbing to the pastor that I’ve been creating division among members at church. Which is not true, I only tell what I know.”
Swiping her purse off the table, Valerie stormed from the kitchen, but whirled around when before reaching the front door. “Can you believe some elderly mothers at the church cornered me? I thought they were about to lay hands on me. Instead they scolde
d me as if I was their child? You know I only had one mother.”
“They should’ve laid their hands on you,” I mumbled. Valerie’s mouth must’ve done some serious damage while I was away. I looked over the fact that Valerie was more interested in the business going around the sanctuary than about God’s business coming from the pulpit, but who was I to point fingers?
This trial with Noel had my flesh and spirit going back and forth. Physically, I wanted to slap him—what would that accomplish? Spiritually, I wanted to pray and fast him out of my system. I needed someone to talk with, but the more I thought about William and Rhoda, I developed an attitude about them putting me out in my time of need. Although Valerie befriended me when I first visited God’s Grace Church four years after graduating college, she was not the one.
“Now, I was respectful and didn’t tell them to mind their own business, but whew…” Rolling her eyes, Valerie smacked her lips. “Let’s just say, I know how to outrun them in these heels after I said what I felt like saying.”
Stretching out her leg, she showcased her stilettos. “The icing on the cake was…” she sighed as her voice faded, and sadness masked her face. “Pastor Coleman called me into his office. He listed one accusation after another. Finally, he asked me if the reports he were true.” She shrugged. “Some were. Some weren’t.”
“Valerie,” I pleaded. “Saints don’t operate like that.” I shook my head in frustration. Valerie didn’t see anything wrong with casually repeating things she overheard to anyone who would listen, and I was one of them. I sighed. “Go on.”
“Pastor Coleman removed me from all of my posts, the Deaf Ministry, the Singles Ministry, and the Kitchen Helping Hands.”