“That feels...” No word seemed adequate. He settled on, “Fantastic.” He didn’t want to waste valuable energy thinking.
Her hands worked in tandem with her mouth, her talented tongue swirling around his tip before she dove back down his length.
He fisted his hands on the couch, didn’t want to touch her, didn’t want to do anything that might interfere with the perfection of her mouth on him and the rhythm she’d set, a perfect rhythm that had his balls starting to tingle a most enjoyable warning of spectacular things to come. So good, too good. “I’m not going to last.” He didn’t want to last, not this time.
God love her, she seemed okay with that.
Spencer lost the battle to control his hands and they gripped her head as his hips lifted in jerky little thrusts, up and in, a little deeper each time, he couldn’t help it. “Oh, God.” Feet planted on the floor, he moved faster, couldn’t stop. “Oh, God. Here it comes.” He tried to lift her off of him but she fought back, sucking him deep again and again until he gave her every bit he had to offer, the intensity of his orgasm draining him of the ability to do anything but exist in a place of overwhelming contentment.
Until J.J. started to cry.
“Perfect timing,” Krissy said, standing up.
Spencer forced his eyes open to see her wiping her mouth.
“No time for first time post orgasm awkwardness with a baby in the next room.” She forced a playful smile, all lips.
She looked nervous and uncomfortable and Spencer hated that.
“Come here.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her down for a kiss. “I like tasting myself when I kiss you.”
She pushed away and stood. “You probably want to get going.” She bent to pick her underwear up from the floor.
“Don’t do this,” Spencer said, not when their shared intimacy had made it clear he could have a relationship with her based on more than Jarrod wanting them together and Spencer’s feeling responsible for J.J. He tugged his briefs and pants back up. He’d grown to like her again, but more importantly, he’d grown to respect her. Friendship, respect, and mutual attraction made a strong foundation for a lasting relationship. This could work. “I’m not feeling awkward.” He was feeling supremely satisfied, hopeful for the future, and maybe a little sleepy, but most definitely not awkward. “You shouldn’t feel awkward either.”
“I’m not sure how to do this,” she said.
“I beg to differ.” He stood. “In my opinion you were great at it.” He kissed the top of her head then moved to see her face, liking the shy smile he saw there.
“Yeah, I guess you were pretty good at it, too. But I was talking about us.” She motioned between them. “You and me and whatever’s happening between us. What if—?”
J.J. started to cry louder.
“Go take care of him,” Spencer said. “We can talk more when you’re done.”
“I have to change him and feed him. It takes a while.”
“If you feed him out here, on the couch, I promise not to look.” She had no idea the magnitude of restraint that would require. He’d been dreaming about her breasts, seeing them bare before him, touching them and sucking their nipples, since he’d hit puberty.
He started to get hard all over again just thinking about it.
While Krissy took care of J.J., Spencer took some time to clean up and get himself back under control. Apparently that took the same amount of time as a diaper change because he returned to the living room at the same time Krissy exited her bedroom carrying a wide awake J.J.
“Hey there, big guy.” Spencer rubbed his back. “Hungry?”
J.J. started to squirm.
Krissy walked toward the couch. “He’s not much for social interaction when his stomach’s empty.”
Spencer turned on the movie, but lowered the sound, not so he could listen to J.J. feeding. That was an added bonus.
He sat there, staring at the television, not watching the action on the screen, lost in thought, feeling... He couldn’t quite summarize how he was feeling. Content. Happy. Protective. Is this how men feel while sitting beside their wives, listening to their son’s voraciously taking nourishment from their wives’ bodies? It felt good.
Except Krissy wasn’t his wife, and J.J. wasn’t his son, and this had been Jarrod’s dream, not his. But Jarrod wasn’t here to live out his dream. Could Spencer take it on as his own?
“You’re staring.”
Unintentionally. Somehow it’d just happened. Rather than delve into the thoughts racing through his mind, thoughts that had somehow, unbeknownst to him, turned his head, he decided to make light of getting caught. But not until he took a moment to really see the beautiful sight before him. The top of Krissy’s dress unbuttoned, her left breast exposed with J.J. latched on to the nipple. “Can you believe I’m jealous of a five-week-old baby? What does that say about me?”
Krissy smiled. “That you’re a breast man?”
Oh, yeah. For sure. He nodded, preferring to think about that rather than all the other stuff.
“Well, sorry to say,” she looked down at her son and caressed the top of his head lovingly. “Right now my boobs are for nutritional enrichment only.”
“I’m a patient man,” he told her, even though right now he didn’t feel like a patient man. “I can wait.” And dream and anticipate and plan all the things he would do when he could finally see them, feel them and taste them.
Since thinking carnal thoughts of a breastfeeding mother felt wrong, on so many levels, Spencer turned his attention back to the television set, and raised the volume enough to cancel out the sounds coming from beside him. Eyes focused straight ahead, Spencer tried to ignore Krissy removing J.J. from her breast and shifting him to feed on the other side. He only knew what was happening thanks to his excellent peripheral vision.
The baby’s soft head brushed up against his a forearm.
“Sorry,” Krissy said. “I’m not used to doing this while someone else is on the couch.”
He wanted to say, “Well get used to it because I plan to be hanging around a lot more often.” Instead he said, “No worries.”
A few minutes later, movement caught his attention again. “Is it okay to look?”
“I’m...almost...yes.”
He turned to see her buttoning her dress. “Do you want me to burp him?”
She’d gone from them fooling around on the couch to change J.J. then back to the couch to feed him without ever using the bathroom, putting the needs of her son ahead of her own. “You don’t mind?”
“Of course not.” He’d do whatever he could to help her.
With a relieved smile she said, “That’d be great.” She handed him a white cloth. “Put this on your shoulder.”
Spencer thought back to how Bart had done it, and when Krissy handed him J.J., he held the baby the exact same way.
“Just rub and pat.”
Spencer rubbed and patted.
“He won’t break.”
“Good to know.”
With another beautiful smile, she turned and after going into her bedroom for a moment, she walked across the hall into the bathroom.
“Just you and me,” he told J.J., feeling a little nervous about holding his godson in his arms for the very first time, not that he’d ever tell Krissy that. He rubbed and patted and nothing happened.
J.J. started to fuss.
Spencer stood, swaying in place like he’d seen Krissy do down at Patti and Bart’s. He continued rubbing and patting and was rewarded with a very loud burp.
“Good job.” J.J. calmed right down after that, and Spencer felt quite a sense of accomplishment. It felt good to hold a baby and take care of him, and not just any baby, Krissy and Jarrod’s baby. His godson. “If there was any way your daddy could be here with you
right now, he would be. But don’t you worry that he’s not here, because I am and I’ll always be here for you.”
A noise brought his attention to the hallway, where Krissy stood, watching him from the shadows.
“Sorry,” he said, because an apology felt necessary for some reason. “I didn’t mean—” that he planned to replace Jarrod or...
Before he could finish that thought Krissy was hugging him. “Thank you.”
Thank you? “For what?”
“For showing me the kind of godfather you plan to be, for talking to J.J. about his dad. For coming to hang out with me tonight, and not leaving when I had to nurse, and...for everything else.”
Holding J.J. in his left arm and Krissy in his right, Spencer felt a part of something special, a part of this little family. And he liked it.
Krissy said, “Let’s see if you can put J.J. down in his crib without him waking up.”
Spencer felt like he could do anything.
Except, it seemed putting a baby down into a crib, without waking him, required special skills. Luckily, Krissy possessed those skills, and quickly took over, whispering, “Wait for me in the living room,” as she quieted her crying baby.
Okay. Spencer walked into the hallway. He wasn’t a perfect surrogate parent, not yet, anyway. It would take time. He had no problem putting in the time it would take to master the task, in fact, he looked forward to it.
Krissy emerged from the bedroom a few minutes later, looking tired. “If you’re okay with me possibly falling asleep on you, you’re welcome to stay and finish the movie.”
He didn’t care about the movie. But cuddling on the couch with a sleepy Krissy sounded most appealing. “Sure.” Since he was already sitting on the couch he lifted his arm, inviting her to slide on in next to him.
She did, setting her head on his shoulder, fitting in beside him like the curves of his body had been created just for her. He clicked on the movie, but didn’t watch. Instead he closed his eyes, savoring this moment of absolute perfection.
Krissy dozed off within seconds of sitting down.
Spencer sat there, holding her, eventually shifting their positions so she laid half on top of him. He would have stayed there, just like that, all night, but he had to work in the morning. Planning to carry her to bed, Spencer slid off the couch, trying not to wake her.
“What?” Krissy sat up.
“Sorry. I tried not to wake you.”
She rubbed her eyes. “What time is it?”
“A little after midnight, I’ve got to get going.”
Krissy stood. “I’ll walk you to the door.”
“We have a rare Wednesday night game tomorrow so I won’t be home until late. Are you free Thursday? I could pick up dinner and—”
Krissy put her hand on his chest. “I don’t expect you to stop by every night to see me. Don’t feel like you have to explain your schedule to me. We fooled around, that’s it, nothing more.”
It meant more to him. But he wasn’t ready to tell her that just yet. “While I appreciate you not expecting me to stop by every night, I’d like to stop by when I can. Would that be okay? If I check with you first?” He didn’t want to crowd her.
She nodded. “That’d be great.”
Good. “So.” He tried to sound casual. “Any doctor’s appointments coming up?” He slipped on his shoes to avoid looking at her.
J.J. would be turning six weeks old next week which meant Krissy should be due for her six week checkup at the OB-GYN. According to his research, that’s the appointment where a woman who had a normal vaginal delivery was usually cleared to resume sexual intercourse.
When he looked up, Krissy smiled. “Why Spencer Penn, are you asking because you want to have sex with me?”
Heck yeah! “After tonight, there should be no doubt in your mind that I’m attracted to you. God’s honest truth, I want to make love to you more than I’ve ever wanted to make love to any other woman in my entire life. That doesn’t mean I’m going to pressure you or expect anything based on tonight’s...fun. It’s just, if we should wind up alone and in the mood, again, and we both want to take things further than we did tonight, I want to know that you’ve been medically cleared to do so. That’s all.”
“Since you’re planning to stop by a lot more often, I’m guessing chances are high we’ll wind up alone and in the mood again soon.”
“Exactly.” Whoa. “Wait a minute. That’s not why—”
Krissy smiled. “I know, Spencer.” Then she wrapped her arms around his neck, went up on her tiptoes and whispered, “I have an appointment next Thursday.” She tongued his ear. “And I’d love for you to be the first guy I’m with post baby. I trust that you’ll, you know, take it easy until we’re sure everything on the inside is all healed up and back to working like it should.”
First guy? First and last he thought, feeling rather territorial even though he had no right to be. He hugged her close. “You know I will.”
“You have any plans for Thursday night?”
Didn’t matter, if he did, he’d cancel them. “Now I do.”
“Bring condoms.”
Lots and lots of condoms. Check!
She released him. “And Spencer?”
“Yeah.”
Her eyes met his. “If we take this next step, please promise me that, no matter what happens, you won’t start to hate me again.”
“I promise.” On Jarrod’s grave, he promised.
After that, Spencer visited Krissy almost every night. They ate dinner together, talked about their days, and laughed, a lot. Then they cuddled on the couch, exploring each other’s bodies, never to the point of orgasm. They’d agreed to save that for when he could be buried deep inside her.
At Sunday dinner with Patti and Bart, they acted like there was nothing starting up between them. Krissy had felt it was too new, she didn’t want the pressure of Patti and Bart hoping for something permanent between them. It was too late for him to escape it. At least he could save her for the time being. So he’d played along while under Patti and Bart’s watchful eyes. But he’d held her hand during the car ride down and then back home again. And when they’d slipped out to take a walk to the local park, just the two of them, he’d kissed her under the tree where she, he, and Jarrod used to hang out as pre-teens, acting too old for the swings and slide.
On Thursday, Spencer made sure to clear his schedule around noon, expecting to hear from Krissy. When his cell phone vibrated in his pocket, he jammed his hand in there to retrieve it.
Just saw the doctor. We’re good to go. Still on for tonight?
Oh, yeah. He replied.
I want to come now.
Me too!!!!
He smiled as he texted back.
Don’t you dare. Not without me there. I’ll make it worth the wait.
I know you will.
He appreciated her confidence in him, her trusting him with her body.
See you soon.
Not soon enough.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
AFTER HER APPOINTMENT with the doctor, Krissy drove to the plaza across the street for another motherhood first: Perusing sexy undergarments while lugging a six-week-old baby in a car seat.
“Welcome!” A nicely dressed woman with neatly styled blonde hair, maybe in her mid-thirties greeted Krissy as she entered the lingerie store. One look at J.J. and she added, “Let me guess. Gearing up for first time after baby sex?”
Krissy nodded. “First time with the new man in my life sex, too.” And not just any man. Spencer. Over the years she’d had a lot of drunk sex, no seduction required. But Spencer was different than the man-boys she typically dated, and she wanted their relationship to be different.
Their relationship.
Thinking that had her
feeling euphoric yet frightened at the same time.
“Well then we’ll have to find you something extra special,” the saleswoman said with a smile. “Follow me. You breastfeeding?”
Holding the car seat in front of her, Krissy navigated between rack after rack of lacy, silky, sexy outfits. “Yes.”
“So we’ll need to cover your bra.” The saleswoman stopped then looked Krissy over. “I have just the thing.”
Seven hours later, dressed in her new sexy lingerie, a silky, deep red outfit sure to drive Spencer wild, Krissy had a bottle of wine chilling, candles out and ready to be lit, and a platter of assorted veggies, crackers, and humus for sustenance, when disaster struck.
“Why tonight? Of all nights?” she asked as she stripped off J.J.’s soiled sleeper. “What did I eat to make this smell so bad?” She undid the tabs of his diaper, taking a moment to mentally prep before opening it. “Good Lord.” She held her breath until she couldn’t hold it anymore. “The green bean salad I picked up at the deli. Never again.”
This mess required more cleansing power than baby wipes. And Spencer, who always came early, would likely be here any minute.
“Oh, well,” Krissy told J.J, dropping a kiss on his forehead. “He’ll just have to wait.” And so would she.
Wrapping J.J. in a towel she picked him up, walked to the bathroom and set him down on the mat while she readied his bath. No sooner did she put him in the baby bathtub, Spencer knocked on her front door. Knowing he’d worry if she didn’t answer, and knowing she couldn’t leave J.J. unattended in the tub, she scooped him up, covered him with a towel, and went to the door.
“Sorry,” she said when she opened it. “This was not the greeting I’d planned on. You may want to come back in an hour.”
Spencer made the mistake of inhaling.
“Appears my afternoon snack didn’t agree with the little man here.”
Spencer smiled. “You made that big smell?” he asked J.J. “High five.” He held out his hand and tapped J.J.’s fist. “Your daddy would be proud.”
“Don’t encourage him.”
The Nurse's Newborn Gift Page 13