‘I’m about to be married so I will be able to offer her one soon. I realise I should have told Alex about Heather long before now. You were wrong to advise me against doing that, Mam. But couldn’t you just for once stand in for me, if only for a few hours. It is the season of goodwill.’
Rona had been sitting at her dressing table applying rouge and lipstick with her usual diligence, then fluffed up her victory roll hairstyle, scarcely listening to a word Cathie said, as her next remark proved. ‘Tommy has invited me to his house for dinner. I gave him the goose we bought, and a few of the trimmings so as not to waste them.’
‘You did what? You’d no right to do that, Mam. You didn’t even buy that food, I did, and could have cooked it for dinner tomorrow, on Boxing Day.’
Rona shrugged. ‘You never said you intended to do that. Anyway, it’s too late, it’s gone. No doubt the goose is already in Tommy’s oven. He’s quite a good cook, actually.’
Now, as Cathie met Davina’s sympathetic gaze with anguish in her own, Cathie let out a heavy sigh. ‘I’ve even lost the food I bought for Christmas, but there’s really no arguing with Rona. She does exactly as she pleases, with no thought for anyone but herself.’
‘Maybe you should tell Alex today about the child. It is, as you rightly pointed out to your mother, the season of goodwill, so this could be your best opportunity.’
‘I don’t think it would be quite appropriate on the day I meet his parents for the first time.’
‘They need to know some time, so why not now?’
Cathie thought about this piece of advice as she made her way past St John’s Church. Once she had met his parents and done the polite thing by chatting to them and enjoying the Christmas meal they offered, she hoped there might come a moment during the course of the afternoon when she and Alex would be alone. That would hopefully give her the opportunity she needed to explain her plan for adoption. What should she say? How could she put it? Are you willing to accept my late sister’s child as your own? Perhaps that was a bit too blunt. And how could she begin to explain why she had kept silent for so long on the subject? Was it really just because she had no wish to speak of Sal’s death, or more from a fear of losing him?
Whatever the reason, she must remind Alex how many orphaned children there were now, that too many were growing up without fathers. She had no wish for little Heather to feel abandoned when she had a loving aunt to care for her. Perhaps she should have brought the baby with her, after all. Surely once he met Heather all these worries would be resolved. Although how Alex’s parents would react was much more of an unknown factor.
At least little Heather was safe and happily playing with Davina, so she’d hopefully enjoy Christmas Day, even without her aunt. Cathie had agreed to collect her later in the afternoon, around four o’clock. Tomorrow she’d make it up to the child by devoting the entire day to her.
Arriving at the door of a fine Georgian, three-storeyed terraced house bearing the name Doctor Victor Ryman written on a plaque fixed to the wall, Cathie was suddenly beset with the urge to turn on her heels and run back home. Instead, she took a deep breath to gather her courage and lifted the brass knocker. It looked so bright and shiny the maid had no doubt polished it that very morning. Cathie smiled to herself as it crossed her mind that she would probably have more success applying for such a job rather than the role of wife to a doctor’s son. Giving the knocker a gentle bang, she almost hoped that no one would hear it.
CHAPTER SEVEN
If Cathie had been hoping to see jolly faces in funny hats, hear the sound of carols being sung or played on a piano, or even laughter resonating through the house as this was Christmas Day, she was instantly disappointed. There wasn’t even any sign of Christmas decorations, save for a stately tree set in a corner of the large, spacious hall, sparingly bedecked with baubles. Nor was Alex waiting there to welcome her. The door was opened by an elderly manservant, who took her coat and hat before leading her upstairs to the drawing room. Cathie trembled with nerves. This was not at all how she’d hoped to spend Christmas, nor had she imagined that Alex’s home would be so grand. How naïve of her to assume he would be happy to spend it at her own humble abode.
As she entered, the entire family, seated on leather armchairs set around a stunningly beautiful panelled room, all turned to gaze upon her in silence. No one spoke, or offered the compliments of the season. Was her Christmas rose dress too garish? Did it not suit her strawberry blonde curls, which suddenly seemed to be falling over her flushed cheeks in a scraggy mess, making Cathie feel even more uncomfortable? A crystal chandelier hung from the high ceiling, seeming to freeze the scene in its bright light, which even the flames from the coal fire burning in the stately fireplace failed to warm. Then, springing from his chair by the window, Alex strode over to put an arm about her shoulders and give her a quick kiss on the cheek. Cathie smiled up at him, sighing with relief.
‘Merry Christmas,’ she murmured.
‘And to you, sweetheart. Come and meet my folks.’
Leading her by the hand around the room rather like a dog on a lead, he introduced her, one by one, to his family, a process she found totally confusing. There were so many of them that she instantly forgot every name and relationship the instant it was given. She had no difficulty, however, remembering his stern-faced father. Doctor Victor Ryman appeared quite old, stockily built, and really rather grand, as Brenda had told her he was. The very arrogance of his stance filled her with a sense of foreboding. He offered no compliments of the season either, or even a welcoming smile, merely muttered good day through clenched teeth, giving her a brief nod.
Alex’s mother, Dorothy, a tall elegant lady, smiled somewhat coldly as she offered Cathie a slender hand sparkling with jewelled rings and bracelets. And his sister, Thelma, a perfect beauty with a sheath of glossy black hair that fell upon her bare shoulders, was wearing the kind of long stylish gown one would only expect to see worn by Rita Hayworth in such films as Cover Girl.
‘It looks as if your family have lived here for generations,’ Cathie politely remarked, admiring the range of portraits depicting Alex’s ancestors that were hung upon the silk-covered walls. She felt utterly overwhelmed and intimidated by the apparent high status of his family. What kind of home had she stepped into?
‘Not really, we’ve moved about quite a lot, and the portraits come with us wherever we go, don’t they, Pa?’ his sister said, glancing with a shrug and a smile at her father.
‘Indeed, even to India,’ he agreed. ‘They are our heritage, which confirm who we are.’
Did she have such a thing as heritage, whatever that might mean exactly? Cathie wondered. It seemed highly unlikely as her mother rarely spoke of her own family, and they tended to get through life by taking one day at a time.
‘I believe you live close to Potato Wharf, Miss Morgan?’
‘Cathie, please.’ How formal everyone sounded. ‘We live near the River Medlock actually, but in that general area, yes,’ she agreed, not wishing to be too specific considering the sad state of their street right now.
‘Poor you, so glad I wasn’t born round here.’
Her brother gave a hollow laugh, which to Cathie’s ears sounded faintly embarrassed. ‘It’s not a bad thing to be Manchester-born.’
‘How can you say that when you were born in Jaipur, as were the rest of us while Pa was working for the Rajah out there? Of all the wonderful places we’ve lived, I ask myself daily how on earth we ended up living in this dreadful city.’
‘Manchester is a wonderful city,’ Cathie bravely stated. ‘Or was before the war destroyed so much of it. As is Castlefield.’
‘What a silly name,’ Thelma retorted. ‘I don’t see any sign of a castle.’
‘I think it had something to do with the Romans who once occupied this area, so maybe they had a castle or a fort of some sort. It used to be called Castle-in-the-Field back in medieval times when even then Manchester was a famous trading port, or so my fathe
r told me. But over time the name of this district was shortened to Castlefield. I’m quite proud to be a Mancunian, actually.’
‘Brave of you to take such a stand, dear, although you didn’t have any choice on where you were born, so you have my sympathy.’ Thelma flicked her winged brows in caustic amusement before graciously moving back to her seat, leaving a cloud of Chanel perfume in her wake.
Cathie almost wished she’d kept her mouth shut.
The atmosphere over lunch was equally chilly and fraught with tension, almost as bad as the cold sleet now slapping against the stained glass windows. There were various aunts, uncles and cousins seated around the large table. Cathie smiled vaguely at everyone, but no one smiled back, or even bothered to speak to her save for his Aunt Mary, a wizened old woman with grey hair who prattled on at length about a book, For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway, which she happened to be reading. Even Alex seemed sunk in some private world.
Cathie attempted to fill the frozen silence by mentioning the success of the charity concert the other night.
‘Thanks to the Co-op we managed to raise a great deal of money for our returning heroes,’ she told Doctor Ryman, who was seated opposite her, his wife by his side. Neither responded, offering not a word of congratulations.
Throughout the meal his mother, Dorothy, frequently cast curious glances in Cathie’s direction while conversing quietly with her husband. Were they discussing her? They certainly seemed to be examining her in excruciating detail. Cathie felt as if she were on show in a shop window, the entire family watching the way she lifted her glass, held her knife and fork, and chewed upon her food. At one point, she slid a hand beneath the table to clasp Alex’s knee, needing the reassurance of his presence beside her. Even that brought little response beyond a small sideways twist of a smile.
Striving not to appear offended at being so ignored, Cathie concentrated on eating the Christmas turkey. ‘This is so tender,’ she said at last, unable to bear the awkward silence any longer. ‘We were going to have goose, unfortunately …’ She stopped in her tracks, not wishing to explain how her selfish mother had given it away, despite the curious glances directed her way.
‘What? You didn’t know how to cook it?’ Thelma asked with a laugh.
Cathie’s cheeks flushed bright red. ‘Well, yes, actually, I did, although my cooking is nowhere near as good as yours, Mrs Ryman.’
‘Then perhaps you should take lessons from the WVS,’ Dorothy remarked coolly. ‘Particularly if you are soon to be married.’
‘Oh, I’d never thought of that. Not that I could afford to, nor have I the time.’
His mother gave a wintry sort of smile that did not reach her cloudy grey eyes. ‘Such classes are free. Besides, you have all the time in the world to make your husband happy. That will be your job from now on, so long as you feel up to the task, that is.’
Cathie felt a strong urge to dispute this remark, but fortunately her sense of caution won out and she kept silent. The conversation around the table again reverted to personal matters, which she allowed to drift over her head, making no attempt to listen, let alone join in. Alex was likewise ignoring her, exchanging a few words with his father. Perhaps, she thought, when lunch was over, there would be the opportunity for them to be alone at last and have time to talk. Till then, she’d button her lip and say nothing more.
But his mother’s next question, directed specifically at her, changed everything. ‘I perfectly understand why a young girl such as yourself would be eager to quickly tie the knot, but you need to remember that my son has only just returned from the war, so must be allowed some time to recover before you rush him down the aisle.’
Cathie let out a little gasp. ‘I wasn’t planning on doing any such thing.’ The joy she’d felt in anticipation of Alex’s homecoming, and their wedding, had now quite deserted her. ‘We haven’t even fixed a date yet, have we, Alex?’ she said, turning to him for confirmation.
‘It’s none of your business, Ma. We’ll marry when we choose,’ he announced firmly.
‘Don’t speak to your mother in that manner,’ ordered his father. ‘She is only showing concern for you.’
‘I don’t need her concern. I’m perfectly well. No injuries, no loss of limb, not blind or deaf. Nor am I any longer the young boy I was when I joined the army back in ‘39, but a grown man who makes his own decisions in life.’
‘You are most certainly not the man you were, darling boy,’ she insisted. ‘You don’t even seem happy to be home, behaving ridiculously tetchy and bad-tempered one minute, and sunk into silent gloom the next.’
‘You won’t even tell us where you’ve been stationed, or what you’ve been up to these last years,’ his father growled. ‘Nothing about your role or rank in the army, let alone what you hope to do in the future.’
‘We were shelled, bombed, friends killed, intimidated and attacked by our enemies. Why would I wish to speak of any of that?’ Alex snapped.
‘You could share some of your agony with us. It might help.’
‘I have friends who don’t care to remember painful times either,’ Cathie hastily put in, anxious to offer Alex her support.
‘Quite!’ he grumbled, slapping down his knife and fork and pushing aside his half-eaten meal, his tone harsh with anger.
Dorothy cast Cathie a furious glare, as if the fault were hers that he’d abandoned his dinner, before turning with a gentle smile back to her son. ‘Then it’s even more important for you to take time to rest and recuperate. Landing yourself with the hassle of organising a wedding and finding a home as well as a new job is not a good idea right now. It’s not as if this girl is in the family way, which would be the only reason to rush headlong into marriage. At least I assume that to be the case?’ she caustically remarked.
Shocked by the question, and feeling the food clog her throat, Cathie took a quick sip of water to stop herself from choking, an attack of nerves making her shake. Was this the moment to reveal all? She was struggling to find the rights words to explain her position when the butler, who had quietly entered the dining room, whispered something in Mrs Ryman’s ear. The woman seemed to freeze as her narrowed eyes glowered at Cathie with a flint-eyed glare.
‘There’s someone at the door asking for you. She has apparently brought your baby in a pram, and the child is crying for her mummy!’
All around the table knives and forks dropped, conversation halted and every pair of eyes fell upon her like daggers.
‘Good God,’ Alex said. ‘You have a child? So who’s the damned father? It certainly isn’t me?’
They were seated in the conservatory, Cathie quietly sobbing into her handkerchief. ‘I know I should have told you before now, Alex. I truly meant to. I tried on numerous occasions to summon up the courage to mention it in a letter, but was always put off by my mother. She insisted you had enough to contend with fighting a war. Also, I was still grieving, and couldn’t bear to keep going over Sal’s death.’
‘Your reasons for keeping it a secret are much more basic than that,’ he snarled. ‘You were obviously reluctant to admit that you’d had a baby.’
Alex was striding back and forth, fists clenched, fury etched upon his handsome face. Cathie felt as if he were a commanding officer and she was one of his men, whom he was reprimanding for some alleged misconduct. Brushing the tears from her eyes, she whispered, ‘You aren’t listening to me, Alex. I’ve just explained that the child is my niece.’
His glance was scathing. ‘Do you have proof of that fact?’
‘Such as?’
‘A birth certificate.’
Cathie shook her head. ‘I’m afraid not. Sal hadn’t got around to registering the birth before she was killed.’
‘How very convenient.’
‘Heather is most definitely the daughter of my sister Sally and her husband Tony, who, as you know, were both tragically killed. The poor child is an orphan and I’m the only relative she has left in the world, save for her use
less grandmother. I love her, and rather hoped you would come to adore her too. Look at what a sweetie she is.’
Watching her aunt weep had earlier brought a rather sad expression to the baby’s round face. Now Heather was smiling as she sat happily on Cathie’s lap, rubbing her little head into her neck, obviously feeling the need for a loving cuddle. How Cathie longed for Alex to take her into his arms and offer the same sort of comfort, to somehow overcome this distance growing between them.
‘That child’s behaviour is appalling. I’ve never seen such a fusspot. She seems to be a right little madam.’
‘Heather was upset, that’s all.’ It was true the baby had been screaming and kicking quite hysterically, in something of a tantrum when Cathie had dashed to the door. Davina had looked equally distressed. Holding the teddy bear in her hand, her friend had explained how the baby had refused to eat a thing, and wouldn’t stop crying.
‘I swear that I would not have brought her to you otherwise. I know you didn’t want Alex to know about the child yet,’ she said, adopting a woeful expression.
Only too aware that he stood hovering close behind her, a shocked expression on his face, and must surely have heard this remark, Cathie had hastily gathered the child in her arms and offered reassurance to Davina. ‘Don’t worry, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have left her.’ She paid little attention to the smile of satisfaction on her friend’s face as she’d cuddled and kissed the baby’s hot head. But she was deeply aware of the tension bristling within Alex, and still was as her efforts to explain the situation to him did not seem to be working.
Determined to do right by her late sister and the baby she already loved as if she really were her own, Cathie tried again. ‘You need to understand, Alex, that because of the neglect I suffered as a child myself I wish to do my best for little Heather by adopting her. I did hope that you would agree.’
Home Is Where the Heart Is Page 6