by Jake Brown
One immediate benefit was my stock shot way up on the feature circuit, even if club owners were billing me as Jasmin St. Claire ‘from the forthcoming’ Gang Bang movie, in other words, my fee went up a few months before the movie’s release. I really can’t say how much for legal reasons, but it was A LOT. The buzz over the movie also did a lot to shoot my stock up with in the film side of the business, in terms of the BIG male stars who now wanted to work with me. I was getting better at doing one-on-one scenes by that point — which they build to incrementally with porn because many girls are visibly nervous on screen, so they throw in two guys or another girl to distract the focus off of just you. So it meant I was getting more close-ups and had developed longer stamina to keep the sex scene going, so everything just felt like it was naturally elevating — on every level. On the other hand, that meant that certain other ‘name’ female stars, a lot of the time from then on, didn’t want to work with me because they felt I would take attention from them. To be truthful, I didn’t want to work with most of them either, A) because I wasn’t into women, and B) because I didn’t want contact with nasty bitches like Annabel Chong, for instance. Anyway, that was never a problem with my male co-stars, so for my May movie, Degenerate, I worked with Tom Byron, and this new comer named Mila, a Russian who Metro had just signed. I didn’t mind working with her. She was very sweet. She was actually probably the first friend I made among my co-workers, to where I went to her house in West Hollywood a few times, went to a picnic there with her family once. We had the same kind of cars, little red Miatas and we used to go hang out together. We lost touch in time, but I have fond memories of her. Anyway, that movie also had scenes with Rick Masters and Dave Hardman — basically who had become the usual suspects in our circle. In June, once I was back off the road from featuring, I went and did the Madcow Morning Show to promote Gang Bang, which was my first negative media experience. Basically, the asshole kept trying to talk down to me, and expected me to dumb down for his audience I guess, but I wouldn’t play along. I hate being condescended, and I had no problem letting anyone know that I had to — on air or off. I was setting a new standard anyway with the kind of porn I was doing, and in terms of my look, which was more exotic than 90% of my competitors because of my natural ethnic mix, I figured I had nothing to lose speaking my mind. Every time I’d heard a porn star on Stern, they would play up the whole sexy, pool side ‘Howard, I wanna fuck you’ image, and he treated me different right off the bat, and he was definitely qualified to judge.
The summer began with another movie. I also attended the VSDA Convention, which was held in L.A. that year, so I didn’t have to travel and worry about sharing my hotel room with some slut. I signed at our booth all day, and hung out with celebrities like Drew Carey. I also saw Corey Feldman there for the first time since I went on the air talking about his under-sized unit, so the tone between he and I was more business than anything else. We also had another stupid awards show to attend, called ‘Night of the Stars,’ which was similar to the Vegas AVN Awards, but on a smaller level. I traveled up to Las Vegas for that, and I also had a signing at the Metro Booth every day promoting my movie, which had been released that July. Anyway, the awards show was as lame as any other; people were winning awards for like ‘Best Anal Scene’ and ‘Best Boy/Girl Scene,’ shit that was just really stupid. I don’t remember what I was nominated for, but I remember presenting that year. When I got back to L.A., we shot yet another movie and another one in August. The whole affair was routine by that point, professionally speaking. Personally, I hadn’t really been dating anyone, I was really too busy between all the travel I did featuring, but I had made a friend in Lemmy Kilmister from Motorhead, who I was hanging out with quite a bit at that point. I remember one night I passed out on his couch after we’d been out drinking at the Rainbow, and I woke up to see this huge Nazi memorabilia collection in his living room.
148 what the hell was i thinking?!! Lemmy Kilmister: I first met Jasmin at the Rainbow. I knew her as a porn star first starting out in L.A., and we exchanged numbers some night and became friends. I remember she actually called me, which was unusual, even for me. Most guys would love to have this beautiful, young chick come over and hang out, and we’d hang out and get naked. She was really cute, and of course, I loved to see Jasmin always, you know. We remained friends throughout her years in and out of porn, but I wasn’t going out with her. She used to come up to my house a few times, and it was really fun, we’d listen to metal. I had a great time with Jasmin, and I really have a soft spot for her.
Jasmin: We would hang out a lot at his apartment after that, watch movies; just shit like that. He didn’t drive either, so whenever we went out, I was the designated driver, for better or worse. It was a fun and odd relationship, because I had been a huge Motorhead fan all my life, and it was relieving to hang out with a rock star who for once wasn’t trying to fuck me. That September, with my Gang Bang II movie release fast approaching, I went back on Jerry Springer for the 3rd time, which went well enough. The audience loved me, and John T. Bone went on with me to help hype the thing.That kind of filth is right up Jerry’s audience’s alley, so I suppose we all felt like bums hanging out behind the same dumpster together. That analogy isn’t totally off either, because in ‘show business’ terms; his ‘set is like a shithole.’ You don’t even have your own dressing room, and you get like a $250 stipend for the whole 2 days it takes to shoot the thing, which I made in an hour featuring. On the other hand, as John continually reminded me, the publicity was priceless.
Heading into the fall, I got on this big feature tour for the Déjà vu Club. It ran all over their chain of clubs in the Midwest and ended in California — 2 clubs a week for 5 weeks. That was grueling, and really took a personal tool on me because I was traveling by myself at that time. Typically, you have a roadie of sorts who travels with you when your tour runs that long, drives, handles your luggage, acts as sort of a personal bodyguard, all of that. Also, I would have to deal at times with DICK club owners, like this one prick at a club in Michigan who wouldn’t pay me or let me leave unless I did another set. Had I had the Blue Meanie with me then, believe me he never would have pulled that shit. I would fly from gig to gig, but the crowds at these clubs were just a frightening flock — straight out of the backwoods from Deliverance. I tolerated the clientele because of the money I was pulling down and took them with a grain of salt, but it was very lonely, and had no one to talk to being on the road all the time. This was back before cell phones, so it was just really lonely. That’s the specific word I’d choose to describe that time in my life. Plus I was suspicious that Charlie was stealing some of my deposits, because I would be shorted a little at this club or that one, but it was nothing I could prove conclusively at the time.
On top of that, I had a couple checks from Metro bounce, which were reconciled shortly afterward, but it just made me realize in ways how unstable a business it was in the long-term. That really sharpened my focus on getting out of it as soon as possible, but also gave me resolve to make sure I didn’t leave with nothing. I got home from the tour in mid-October, and spent my birthday alone. I took myself out to the Cheesecake Factory, and I think saw Lemmy, but he was really my only friend to speak of at the time. It’s hard to get close to people when you travel as much as I did, and he and I had that in common as he also toured a lot with his band Motorhead, so that commonality helped us frame our friendship accordingly. Many people in the entertainment business, at least in my estimation, are shallow and insecure, and therein clingy, and by nature in constant need of attention, both on and off screen. I was the opposite, maybe coming from my background in New York and being more naturally independent, but I didn’t really require that. As such, while I got lonely on the road, I also knew better than to try and form any close bonds when I couldn’t give the time and attention it took to maintain those relationships — be they romantic or just platonic.That stance would make me enemies within the business, one example being th
is cunt named Christy Canyon, who said in some interview my pussy was as big as a Mack Truck. She’s lucky I never ran into her, or I would have ended up in jail for the night and she in the hospital. Most of the shit-talking people did about me happened behind my back, but it was to the press, which is the only reason I heard about it. Why would I then try to go make nice with any of those bitches? Perhaps my initial disinterest in befriending them fueled their standoffish attitude toward me, but I think a lot of it was jealousy too. I was getting a lot of attention during this period. We still all had to play nice at the conventions and Award shows, but that was about it. In November, Gang Bang II was finally scheduled to be released, we had the Comdex Convention at the Sahara in Las Vegas, which ended up being the genesis of my and Jenna Jameson’s rivalry.
Basically, because of all the hype we’d built behind Gang Bang II’s release over the past few months — I was a big deal that year for the show,
15 0 what the hell was i thinking?!! to the point where Ron Jeremy and I shared a billboard along Las Vegas blvd. I went on Howard Stern that weekend to promote the whole thing and Stuttering John made a comment that I was their highest rated porn star guest. Robin Quivers followed-up that I had beat out Jenna Jameson in their ratings. Anyway, that made me feel good, but I guess Jenna heard it and got really pissed as a result because they’d said it on air. To boot, when I was signing later that day on the convention floor, my booth was drawing more of a crowd than Jenna’s. Finally, later that night, while I was out at some nightclub with a friend, a friend of Jenna’s, some cunt named Felicia, came over to a guy I was speaking with and told him if he kept talking to me he’d catch Hepatitis B or some such shit. Well, my friend Angel Hart took umbrage to that, drug her by her hair out of the club. Well, as it happened, the next night, I was co-hosting this show at another club called ‘All NUDE Triple X Review’with Ron Jeremy, which explained our Billboard.
Jenna had a show down the street that was drawing no heads because everyone was down checking us out. So at one point in the night, I guess she had to come down and see what all the hype was about, and in the process, she started to pick a fight with me, and was escorted out of the club by its owner! It was priceless. I think the club owner even told her in reply to some comment that he wouldn’t fuck her with a dildo. Jenna’s a very competitive person, BUT my mother raised me to be a shark, so she was out of her league in that department. At that point, she was still just starting out, and I was clearly the bigger star, and that just couldn’t bother her enough. I mean, we’d both basically gotten into the business around the same time, and here, nine months into my career, I was starring with Ron Jeremy — the male giant of porn — on a Billboard along Las Vegas Blvd. Jenna clearly felt she deserved to be on that Billboard and I give her props that she’s lasted in the business a long time, but I can’t help but also point out that she started getting bigger after I retired. That’s just a fact if you look at our numbers. The funny thing is I only became competitive about the whole thing after she started it, she began that rivalry. You might think it was the other way given how outspoken I was in general, but I never called anyone out specifically in my press interviews, just spoke generally of the people I worked with. Jenna was the first girl I spoke out on personally — lashed out on is probably a more accurate way to say it — but she had it coming.That was a big month for me with Gang Bang’s release, to the point where heading into December, my Brazilian distributor told John they wanted to fly me down there for some kind of a promotional tour.That wouldn’t happen till January of 97, but December certainly wasn’t by any means lacking in excitement. First, I met a guy named Keith at the Rainbow one night who would go on to become my next serious boyfriend, and my mother came out to visit me in Los Angeles for the first time.
Thankfully, by the time my mother arrived it was the week before Christmas, and I was done with everything business-wise for the month, so that she had no opportunity to become suspicious, still she found ways to spy on me. I remember one day I went to the grocery store, and upon my return, found my mother standing on my balcony talking to my neighbor, asking a whole bunch of questions like fucking Cagney and Lacey. My neighbor called me on the phone and said my mom was asking shit like what kind of people come over, if I had guys over, what time I came in, and of course, my neighbor covered me, but it was still very embarrassing. She liked Los Angeles in general, and we had a nice Christmas, we ate at this really cool seafood restaurant in Santa Monica, exchanged gifts, and did all the normal stuff families do at Christmas. She tried her best to be accepting of my decision to live in L.A., and my ‘modeling’ career, but she did give me shit about my Mazda Miata. She didn’t think it was safe, normal mother shit. I kept her away from most all of my friends, but we did eat with one of my friends Mila, who ironically was also a porn star, but as far as my mother was concerned was also a ‘model.’ She was very sweet and polite around my mom, kept it very clean, in spite of the nasty things we both did on screen, this is again an example of the fact that NOT ALL porn stars have to take their work home with them. She was very different off-screen, and my mother picked up on nothing, and would have with many of my other co-workers because of the latter fact that they couldn’t separate their business and personal lives.
On the subject of my own personal life at that point, following my mother’s return to New York, I decided it was time to take a chance and start dating again. I craved the male company- both romantically and sexually, because again guys — there’s a pronounced DIFFERENCE between the nature of the sex we have on screen and off. Well, the guy was Keith, who I’d met earlier that month through his brother, and our first date was New Year’s Eve of 1996. We went out to the Universal City Citywalk, had dinner at Wolfgang Puck’s Café; went dancing afterward and just hung out. Nothing happened the first night, in part, because it was important to me he understood I wasn’t a fucking slut or anything.
152 what the hell was i thinking?!! It plays to the larger importance of a guy understanding — and more importantly, accepting the difference I pointed out above — that it’s just work when the camera is on. It also helped me that Keith’s brother, T.T. Boy was also an actor in the business (and no guys, we never worked together in case you were wondering. I never would have BEEN dating his brother.) Anyway, my occupation was just something he had to accept, and not get jealous of, and not take personally. I grant you that it’s a tall order, but he seemed to be up to the task. We had a really nice time, which gave me something to be hopeful for personally, heading into 1997.
Part X i
1997: The Year of Living Dangerously
Heading into January of 1997, we had another AVN Awards Show to attend in Vegas, and the whole circus began again. I did Howard Stern’s radio show again, along with a new one that Kevin Du Brow was hosting, and we got off on the wrong foot, because we were both kind of standoffish with each other on the air.That can never really hurt me, because it only breeds controversy, which built buzz heading into the awards show that evening. Not surprisingly, at the awards I won ‘Best Selling Tape of the Year’ for the Gang Bang II movie, which had sold extremely well and put me on the map officially as an international porn star. It was really kind of funny to me, winning the award given the sham we’d pulled off in filming it, but I played along.
I guess I was having a bad radio weekend, because another show I did was Kevin Dubrow’s from Quiet Riot, who attempted to be funny by calling me ‘Jasmin E’claire.’ I’ll let you figure that one out for yourselves, but my retort put him back in his place when I asked him on air, ‘How do you have a full head of hair when you were bald back in the early 80s?’ We hooked up a few months later for a one-night thing and I discovered he like Corey Feldman — also had a tiny penis, so I guess if I’m Jasmin E’claire, he was packing a mini-pastry. Anyway, preceding that encounter, I called him on-the-air during an interview, and we left on good enough terms to hook up later on that year. I didn’t really care about anyone but Howard Stern, a
nd he was nice to me, he didn’t ask me to flash my tits, so I took that as a good sign he had earned some twisted form of respect for me after seeing my movie. He also didn’t quiz me on that again, so maybe as silly as I felt that award was, it did work to further legitimize
15 5 me in his eyes. In the grand scheme of things, Stern’s show was the only one that mattered. Anyway, as the month went on, Keith and I started dating regularly. It was nice; we just did basic boyfriend/girlfriend stuff: went to dinner, hung out at his house, watched TV; went to the beach, HAD SEX, which was nice for a change. I have to admit, in spite of the stardom, it felt really nice to have just a normal relationship on a personal level for all the other sacrifices that line of work naturally brought you if you kept the two worlds separate. I still had to travel for features and what not, which was hard because I missed Keith, but it also fueled our romance because distance naturally does that to anyone.
One big trip I did have to take for work heading into February was a promotional trip to Brazil, paid for in full by Metro’s distributor. I almost didn’t go because I wasn’t feeling well at all. I had just done a gig in Miami preceding the trip in that shape, but Charlie threatened that they wouldn’t carry any of my videos down there if I didn’t do the trip, so I agreed to go in the end. It was smart on Charlie’s part to force me to go at that point because I also subconsciously didn’t want to leave Keith for that long. He brought out a different side of his personality then too that I hadn’t seen before. He was really cruel with the way he guilted me about it, but he was so cute and nice to me overall and everything that I just kind of dealt with it at first. Okay, he had a big dick too, which was also an incentive. He’d even modeled for Playgirl at one point. Once I got down to Brazil, I was happy Charlie talked me into going, because it was truly A LOT of fun in spite of the fact that I was working. It was the first time I really felt like a star, because I was in a foreign country, and people knew who I was.