by Sandy Nadeau
Steve followed Ronnie as they walked their friends out to their car.
After hugs, the family got in and headed out to find a hotel to call home.
Steve stepped over and put his arm around Ronnie’s shoulder while she waved after the car. She quickly pulled out from under his arm. He knew everything was eating at her, since she hadn’t really said a word to him the whole time they waited in the hospital. He took a chance. “Are you OK?”
She looked at him with something close to ferocity. “You could have been killed. Just like my father. This is exactly why I told you I do not want to date firefighters. I can’t do this Steve.” Ronnie stomped away from him.
“Ronnie, come on. I’m OK. Everything worked out.” He rushed to catch up to her.
She turned sharply and he ran into her. “This time!”
“All times as God chooses.”
“And why did God not choose to get my father through it alive? How do I know when God is going to just let you die in one of these fires? I didn’t want to fall in love with you, but now I have. I just about lost you, Steve. I can’t go through it again.” She headed for her truck.
Steve caught up to her, reached out and pulled her into his arms. He had no words. He just held her.
Her tears flowed freely. She sobbed against his chest. Her fist slammed against him.
How could he explain to her to trust in the Lord with all her heart?
Snowflakes started to fall.
“Ronnie, none of us know. All our days are numbered by the Lord. Only He knows how long we’ll be here on this earth. How do I know if you’ll come back from the store? How do we ever know any outcome? It can happen anytime to anyone, but if we live our lives in fear of losing someone, all we’ve done is robbed life from the happiness of the present moment.”
“You know the odds are stronger in this profession. Firefighting is one of the most dangerous occupations.” She pushed away from him.
“The odds are worse for the people in trouble if we aren’t there to help them. We’re trained to be as safe as possible.”
She went over to the hood of the truck, lowered her head onto it, crossed her arms and cried. Her body shook; he imagined it was as much from the cold as from the overpowering emotions of all the events that crashed down.
A few people stared as they headed to their cars.
Steve leaned against the truck next to her. What could he do? He loved her. He wanted to spend his life with her, but this obstacle would always be there between them, holding her back from completely loving him. He stood silently with his elbow on the hood, fingers rubbing the rough stubble on his chin.
Silent sobs shook her body.
“I’ll quit.”
She looked up, puzzled. “What?” Tears ran down her red tinged cheeks.
“I’ll quit. I’ll find a new line of work.”
She turned to face him. “You know you can’t do that. You love firefighting. I could never ask you to give it up.”
He reached out his hand and placed it on her arm. “Understand something, Ronnie. I love you. You know I do. I will do anything if it means I can spend my life with you.”
“Steve…I can’t. You can’t. If you weren’t able to fight fires, you would hate it. You would eventually resent me for making you give up your career. No. I won’t go there. This is exactly why I never wanted to get involved with you.”
He leaned closer. “Then why did you?” he asked with a whisper.
She met his gaze with her own tear-filled eyes and fell against his chest.
He wrapped his arms around her.
“Because I fell in love with you.”
He continued his defense quietly. “Then we need to figure out a way around this. I mean it, Ronnie. I will do anything for you.”
“I know you would, Steve. But I won’t ask you to give up your career.”
“I could go on rescue. We’ll both have our EMTs soon. We could work together all the time.”
“At every fire scene, you’d be itching to run in.”
“I’ll just change my priorities for the job. I’d still be helping people. Ronnie, I love you. I want to make this work.”
“I don’t know. I have to think about this.”
“Promise me you’ll pray about it. God will work things out. He’s in control and wants what’s best for you. That could be me, you know.” He gave her his best debonair leer.
She stared at him for a long time. The silence was unnerving as she studied him, as if looking into his soul. That was fine, as far as he was concerned. She needed to see that he loved her with everything he had.
“Give me some time Steve. I just need to sort things out.”
23
“Hi Kelly. Are you two ready to go?” Ronnie stood at the door of the hotel room where the Hockes were staying since the fire.
“Come on in. Steph’s looking for her other shoe.”
The room held two beds and several shopping bags sat on the floor.
“Been shopping?” Ronnie pointed to the pile.
“Yeah. Trying to get some necessities while we wait on insurance. We couldn’t salvage much from the house, as you know. Our clothes were toast.” Kelly laughed. “Pun intended.”
“I don’t know how you keep such a good attitude about this.”
“Won’t do me any good to feel sorry for myself. I have my moments, but for Stephanie’s sake, I don’t want her to get upset by it all any more than she has been. She keeps remembering the toys she no longer has. It’s hard for her to understand.”
“I found it, Momma.” Stephanie popped up from the other side of the far bed. “Hi, Miss Ronnie.” She limped over holding a shoe out. The one on her foot blinked at the heel with each step she took.
Kelly knelt down to help with the shoe.
“I’m glad you can go with us, Miss Ronnie.”
“Me, too, Stephanie.”
“I have got to get out of this room or I’ll go stir crazy. We’ve got to find a bigger place to rent until the house is rebuilt.”
They headed out to Kelly’s minivan and got Stephanie buckled into her seat.
Ronnie climbed into the passenger’s side and buckled up.
“Momma said I can get a new doll. Mine got toasted.”
“I know where she got that line.” Ronnie laughed.
Kelly smiled and pulled out of the parking spot. “We’ll stop after we look for a place to live and get your new doll, OK?”
“Yay!”
“So how are you doing, Ronnie? I haven’t really talked to you since the night of the fire.”
“Better than you, I imagine.”
“Ronnie, I know how shook up you were when Steve was in the house.”
“I’m fine. Really. Just a lot to think about.”
“Like…?”
Ronnie huffed. “He says he’ll give up firefighting for me.”
Kelly spun her head to look at Ronnie so fast it was a wonder she could drive straight.
“Careful. You’ll get whiplash.”
Kelly whipped her gaze back to the road.
“Uncle Steve isn’t a firefighter anymore?” The sweet voice came from the backseat.
“Honey, Ronnie and I are talking.” Kelly looked at her daughter in the rear view mirror then glanced at Ronnie again. “And how do you feel about that?”
Leaning her head against the headrest, she closed her eyes as air expelled between her lips. “I don’t know. Well, I do know. Steve would resent me forever if that happened. I can’t let him give up a career he’s worked so hard to get. He loves the job.”
“I think he loves you more.”
Ronnie rested her elbow against the base of the window and held her head in her hand.
“I know. I’m still in love with him, too. But what if he doesn’t make it out of a fire someday? How would I ever make it through that?”
“Whenever my worries start to take over, I have to remind myself of the verse in Romans eight that if my mind
is controlled by the Spirit I’ll have peace. I have to trust and remember the promises of God. The fire taught me even more in that area. I have to stay focused on Him right now.”
“I just don’t think I’m strong enough, Kelly.”
“Sure you are. Do you know why?”
“Nope. Not a clue.”
“By His grace. His power is made perfect in your weakness.”
“I think I read that the other day, but I didn’t get it.”
“No matter what we go through in life, His power will shine through the trial if we stay focused on Him. But God also knows what will happen in our lives. Nothing surprises Him. He doesn’t want harm to come our way. He wants our lives to have hope and a future. To get to know Him better. Maybe God is trying to tell you that you and Steve should be together. That you do have a future. Maybe you have to quit arguing with God about it.”
“You don’t hold back, do you?”
“I don’t like to waste time. I don’t like to see others do that either. Time’s a-wasting, girlfriend. You’ve got a good man wanting to love you forever. It’s time to stop worrying about what could go wrong, and focus on what could go right. I’d rather have Kyle for as many years as I can get him, than to not have him at all.”
“I guess I have been a bit pessimistic about our relationship.” Ronnie stared off to the meadow they drove past.
“Jesus cried with you about your dad. He loves you and when your heart breaks, His heart breaks. But think of the joy Jesus also had when He received your dad into the Kingdom. Do you think we might be showing doubt in God’s goodness, though, when we linger in that sadness?”
“There’s just no beating around the bush with you, is there?” Ronnie raised an eyebrow at her friend.
“Just sayin’…”
Ronnie looked out the window, contemplating all the jumbled thoughts in her head.
Kelly broke into her contemplations. “So how much confidence do you have in Steve and his abilities?”
“What? Why do you ask that?”
“Well, do you worry about losing him because he isn’t good at the job?”
“No. Of course not. He’s one of the best.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“Kelly, you saw him that night. You know how talented he is for the job. He’s not careless; he truly cares about doing it right. He saved both Stephanie and Troy. You’re not really questioning his abilities, are you? After all that?”
“What if he faced a worse situation?”
“He’d do whatever he needed to. You know how rigorous the training is. And he’s completely devoted to the work. He’s one of the most committed at the department. They are even considering him for promotion.”
“So?”
Ronnie’s heart rate had increased at this line of questioning. “So. He’s great at firefighting. And now with the EMT status, he’ll be even better.”
“Exactly!”
Ronnie’s brow pinched tight looking at her friend.
“Will you ever trust God and Steve’s ability, or will you always assume the worst of both of them?”
“You are one sneaky woman.”
“Just want you to think about what causes you so much doubt.” Kelly pulled into the driveway of a small house with a “for rent” sign out front. “Here’s the first one to see today.”
“Are we going to live here, Mommy?”
“I don’t know yet, honey. Let’s go look inside and see if we like it.”
Ronnie opened the sliding side door of the van to help Stephanie out of her seat. “Come on, Sweetie. I’ll carry you in.” Lifting the child, she headed for the sidewalk with Kelly.
“It’s kind of cute. Small…but I guess we don’t need much room since we don’t have much left.”
They spent two more hours looking at everything from apartments to small condos, and even some older homes around town.
Kelly turned the car into the hotel lot and parked next to Ronnie’s truck. “I’m done. I’ll have to go over the numbers with Kyle and we’ll try to decide.”
“I hope you can get into something quickly. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
“I will, thanks. At least moving won’t take much effort.” Kelly laughed as she headed to their room hand in hand with Stephanie who had a brand new doll in hand.
Ronnie was amazed at Kelly’s attitude. Starting the truck to let it warm, she stared out at the surrounding hills.
Last night’s snow slid off the tree branches as the afternoon sun allowed the pine needles to let go of their icy coat.
Kelly had said God wanted the best for her. Now she had more to think about. Walking in the front door, she headed for the mail she’d tossed on the table earlier. “Bill, bill, no I don’t want another credit card…” The bills went into a special pile, the junk mail went into the trash. The next letter in the small pile had the return address of the State of Colorado. She pulled it out, slid the other letters under her arm and opened the official-looking letter.
“Well, I’ll be…I’m now an EMT.” Along with the letter, were the new patches she would attach to her uniform signifying her status. She smiled with a deep sense of achievement, yet wished she could show her dad.
24
The dispatcher described the call. A climber trapped on a ledge. Thankfully, the temperatures were tolerable for this rescue.
Ronnie hopped in the passenger seat of the rig.
The rescue and fire teams got to the scene after a bit of a hike into the park, carrying all their gear, the snow just over their ankles.
One of the climber’s friends met them at the fork in the trail and led the rescuers to the scene.
Up on the cliff, a young man stood facing the rock wall. His feet held to a small area of granite ledge. Icicles hung in the shady areas. Climbing the rocks was a popular sport in the area, regardless of the time of year.
“How long has he been there?” she asked the friend.
“It’s been a while. We were teaching him to climb, but he hit that spot up to his right and slipped. He landed on that ledge and now we can’t get him to move.”
“Is he injured?”
“I don’t think so, but he’s so afraid, it’s like he’s stuck.”
The fire department personnel started to arrive.
Ronnie was an experienced climber and knew rappelling, so she volunteered to lower down and rescue the individual. It took a bit to climb hauling the ropes and gear. Once perched above the victim, her partner tied off the rope securely while she put her harness on.
“Rope,” her partner yelled as he flung the length over the side to warn those below.
It landed six feet to the side of the frightened young man, far enough away from his reach so he wouldn’t grab it in a panic. A slight screech escaped the teen.
Ronnie hooked the rappelling mechanism onto the cold stiff rope. “Climber on,” she yelled, and then took that first step over the edge. Her heart flipped a little as her feet planted against the vertical rock face, her weight full against the rope. She loved to rappel, but that first step over the top of perfectly stable rock always intimidated her.
Steve, along with the others, had taken up the belay position at the bottom.
“Great,” she groaned not wanting to think about him right now.
The cliff looked to be about seventy feet with the victim at roughly twenty feet down.
She pushed out and slid down the rope four or five times before reaching the young man’s level. She set the lock into place to keep from moving down the rope. “Hey, how ya doing?” She reached out to touch the young man’s shoulder.
He pressed into the rock even tighter. “Don’t touch me!” His red face, white knuckles, and tightly clenched eyes told the whole story. This kid was petrified.
Ronnie put her hand back on her rope. “What’s your name? I want to help you get down from here.”
“Joe, but leave me alone. I can’t do it. I can’t move.”
>
“Well, Joe, we can’t leave you here. My name is Ronnie, and I’ll be helping you get down. You’ll be OK. I’ll make sure of it.”
He ventured a peek at her, barely moving his head. His legs were shaking.
She’d seen this kind of fear before when a friend tried to cross a large log over a raging creek. His equilibrium became so challenged, he dropped down with a leg on each side of the log and sat frozen. It took more than a half an hour to coax him off that log. She’d be facing the same situation here, just dangling about fifty feet up. “Joe, are you getting cold? Don’t you want to get back down to some warmth?”
“I can’t.” His hands dug harder into the cracks in the cold granite causing his fingertips to go white.
“Joe, listen to me. I’m coming over there to hook your harness into my rope. The guys down below have us locked in, we can just lower right on down, and then you’ll be safe. OK Joe?”
“No!” His entire body shook.
“Joe, we have to get you down. You can just close your eyes and let me do all the work.”
“I’ll fall. I can’t do this.” The pitch of his voice grew higher than most young girls.
“You’re not going to fall. I’ll have you. Just do what I say, OK? Close your eyes.” Ronnie slowly walked across the vertical rocks closer to him. She found a foothold on the small ledge he stood on. Pushing his rope aside, she hooked the locking D-ring onto the harness at his waist so that he would be tethered to her. She unlocked her rope so they could lower down. “Now you’re hooked to me. You cannot fall.” She explained as she worked.
Joe turned and flung his arms around her neck, knocking her off her position. They spun and twisted, four legs going in every direction.
Ronnie slammed into the rock wall, scraping her back. Her hard hat banged against the stone.
They dropped a couple of feet.
Joe let out a scream.
~*~
The rescue was going great until the young man flew against Ronnie.
Steve pulled with all his weight against the rope, locking the two instantly.
Ronnie tried to right herself, but the young man had a death grip around her neck.
Steve held firm to keep them from plummeting down, and, even though the two whirled around like rag dolls, they didn’t lose another inch of their elevation.