by Nancy Adams
“Oh, my love,” he cooed into her ear, “I’m here now and together we’ll climb out of the darkness once more.”
PART THREE
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Sam kept going in and out of consciousness as he watched the electric lights rush past over the top of him. He was on a stretcher being rushed into an operating room. Not long after his crash, the police had reached him and managed to crowbar his door open and pull him out. He’d badly broken both his legs and busted several ribs, which had punctured both his lungs as well as piercing his liver. He was bleeding internally and was immediately airlifted to the nearest ER several miles away.
Soon, his stretcher was crashing through the doors and he was being lifted onto a bed. He attempted to scream out as he was, the pain in his shattered body unbearable, but no sound came out. They then stripped him of his clothing and the tone of their voices, as well as their movements, became more frantic.
As the medics worked away on him, Sam felt a sudden urge to look beyond them to something standing on the other side of the room. When his eyes focused on the spot, Sam saw that it was Marya watching him with a sad face. He attempted to reach out to her, but couldn’t move his body and began to feel himself rising out of it like a gas. One of the medics began shouting and a nurse rushed off to fetch something. What she brought back was a defibrillator, which was quickly set up, and Sam watched them apply the paddles to his chest from above his own body as he floated up to the ceiling of the room, before he floated over and joined Marya in the opposite corner, standing at her side, watching himself die. He felt her hand take his own and they entwined their fingers together.
Marya rested her head on his shoulder and whispered into his ear, “Go back, Sam. It’s not your time. Our daughter needs you.”
Sam turned to Marya, took her head in his hands and kissed her on her warm lips. A light began to shine between the two as they held each other.
As the light became all-consuming, Sam felt Marya dissolve in his arms and her voice whisper, “Go back, Sam. I forgive you.”
CLEAR!
Sam suddenly saw the bright electric light hanging from the ceiling above him and realized that he was back within his body. He heard the cardiogram beeping steadily beside him and heard the relief in the medics’ voices.
After that, he passed out.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“Claire!?” Kyle’s voice rang.
Claire opened her eyes and saw her brother’s concerned face hanging over her. Holding her head, she gingerly got up from the floor and sat herself back on the bed, her brother joining her. The television set was still on, so she reached for the remote and switched it off.
“What the heck just happened?” Kyle asked her.
“I fainted was all,” Claire mumbled.
“You really are ill. Shall I get dad?”
“No!” Claire snapped at him.
“O-k-a-y!” Kyle let out. Then looking back at the television, he added, “Why’d you turn the set off?”
“It was making my head spin.”
“Yeah, but now we won’t know what happened to that guy.”
“Then go watch it in your room,” Claire barked at him.
“I will then,” Kyle angrily retorted, before leaving the room and slamming the door behind him.
Meanwhile, Claire’s head spun and she feared that she might lose consciousness again. So she curled up in bed, so many thoughts crashing into one another in her head. When she closed her eyes all she could see was his car crashing off the side of the road.
Unable to ignore the cries of her bruised soul, Claire switched the television back on. It was a reporter standing on the highway. Claire turned the volume up.
“…Burgess,” the reporter was saying into the camera, “was pulled out of the vehicle alive only moments ago having sustained some terrible injuries. He’s now being airlifted to a hospital not far from here where we hope that he isn’t in too much of a critical state and will make a full recovery. Although we’ll have to wait and see what the prognosis is—”
Claire switched it off. An element of relief flooded her heart and she closed her eyes. Inside, through some strange intuition, she felt sure that he would live.
She then lay herself back down in bed and gradually slipped into a melancholy sleep.
All of a sudden, Claire awoke with a start, bolting upright in bed. The first thing she noticed was that the light was off, something she hadn’t done before falling asleep. Instead, a gloomy light shone in through the window, partially illuminating the room. A hollow feeling inside of her made Claire begin searching her surroundings with her eyes. It was then that she came across a large shadow in the corner and froze, unable to breathe, as if something were blocking her airway. She tried with all her might to take in air, but couldn’t, her whole chest constricted by some invisible force.
The shadow began slowly moving toward her, its whole being pulsating and changing shape as if it were made from a swarm of insects. With each step forward of the beast, Claire found her chest strangled even more and she clawed at her throat for air. The shadow was presently on her and she became consumed within its darkness.
*
“HUH!” Claire let out as she woke up in a panic, the light of her room once again on.
Glancing hurriedly around, Claire quickly gathered that she was now awake. She lay back down on her side, attempting to abate her rapid breathing, and closed her eyes tight, gritting her teeth as she did. In her chest, her heart pumped with terror and Claire felt an inner need to get up and run from there, to run—like Sam—and never stop until she came crashing into something.
The feeling grew until she could no longer bear the storm building inside of her. So she got out of bed, went downstairs and shot out of the front door in nothing but her pajamas. Not knowing exactly what she was doing and feeling a terrible weight forming in her head, Claire walked barefoot down the street. As she did, her steps became quicker and quicker, until she was jogging, then running. A block or two later she was sprinting into the night.
Suddenly, the sky overhead crackled with thunder and the clouds opened, releasing a deluge onto the street. Claire cut through the shroud of rain as she bounded forward, her feet continually splashing through the water, running on and on, her soaking wet brunette hair swinging about in her wake. She imagined that the rain was cleaning away her guilt, her shame and all the things that tormented her young life.
At school, Claire had been a cross country runner, and often when she was stressed she would run through the local woods and suburbs, her muddled thoughts untangling themselves with every new step forward. It was the same now as she forged on through the rainy night, and soon she found a clarity attach itself to her thinking as the mist inside of her cleared. The farther she went through the sheets of torrential rain, the more resolved she became on a certain point.
For one, she knew that she loved Sam for sure. But on a second point, it was clear that they were destined not to be together. They had found each other out of desperation; both of them looking for some light in that moment and finding it in each other. However, they were both going in different directions. Sam lived in a completely different world to Claire, and they were both in a completely different moment in their respective lives. Like passing ships, they spent a fleeting moment together—an interlude in their lives—and now they had to go on; alone. Claire would complete medical college and Sam would raise Jess and continue leading humanity forward through Techsoft. She was sure that he would survive. He was strong, even though he often doubted it. Men like him didn’t get to where they were without showing strength.
One day, Claire thought, she would look back at the time they shared with a smile and know that it was merely a stepping stone, one of many, that she had trodden on to get where she needed to go. In a perfect world, they would spend the rest of their lives together. But the world wasn’t perfect. Claire had known that for a long time. They had to respect its will and go t
heir separate ways. Was Sam attempting to reach me when he drove off like a madman into the middle of the night? Claire asked herself as she strode through the wet night. No, was her answer. He was simply running; attempting to outrun his feelings. But they came crashing after him and now he has to face them. Just like me. Claire was sure that when Sam thought about it, he too would understand that they weren’t meant for each other, and he too would resolve to step forward into his life without Claire.
Having run for almost an hour, her feet numb from the cold, Claire came to a stop in the middle of a meadow. Looking around her as she stood bent over, trying to catch her breath, Claire observed that she was in the middle of Willows Creek, a popular route that she had often taken during her running days. Something had brought her here for a reason, and that was to find clarity. In her head she felt sure of things now and was resolved on her future. She would return to college, finish her studies and spend as little time at home as she could.
As for men, Claire decided that she would steer clear of them once again—as she had most of her life—and concentrate on becoming a doctor. During vacations, she would invite her mother and Kyle up to Maine and spend time with them. She had lost herself for a moment, she admitted. But from now on she would climb back onto the track and continue in the destination she was always heading. She should be happy for the feelings that Sam Burgess flooded into her heart—feelings she’d hitherto thought herself incapable of. He had shown her the light in her own heart and she should take this and walk away.
With this new resolution, Claire turned around and began walking through the muddy meadow back toward her home, feeling a little lighter than she had when she’d burst out of her house earlier on.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“You can see her now, señor,” the doctor said to Jules as the latter sat in the hospital waiting room, his bag of pictures on his lap.
“Thank you,” the old man let out as he got up from his chair.
The doctor went to go, but Jules gently took him by the arm, so that the doctor turned to him.
“Is she going to be alright?” Jules asked in a timid voice.
The doctor smiled and said in his thick Colombian accent, “Of course she will. You got to her early and she ejected most of the pills. We’ve sent a sample of her blood off for analysis to see if she’s got kidney damage, but early signs are that it’s not extensive enough to get worried about. She’s not in discomfort and we’re merely going to keep her in overnight for observations.”
“Thank you, doc,” Jules smiled softly at the man.
The doctor smiled back and Jules let him go on his way. When he’d gone, Jules took his bag and wandered down a corridor and then into Juliette’s room. Inside, Margot was sitting at Juliette’s bedside, holding her friend’s hand. Juliette was sitting up, and when Jules entered the room holding his bag, she immediately turned to him with sadness glowing in her eyes. Tears began to pour from them and Margot got up from her seat, smiled at Jules and left the room.
Jules took Margot’s seat and Juliette looked at him with a smiling, tearful face. She continued to gaze forlornly at him until she suddenly broke down. Jules got up and took her into his arms as she wept.
“I’m so sorry, Jules,” she kept repeating through her tears. “I don’t deserve you—I never did.”
“I’ve loved you,” he began in a trembling voice, “for thirty-four years, two months, one week and four days, Juliette Rosemary Lee. Not for one second of any of those days did I ever stop loving you. Was angry at you, sure. But never did I ever stop loving you.”
“Why do you love me so much?” Juliette cried.
“Because I’m the only one on this planet that knows you better than you know yourself. Because you know me better than anyone else. I can’t bear the thought of my life not containing you in some way. These last sixteen years have been the hardest of my life.”
“Oh, Jules. I deserted you.”
“You did what you had to, no more than that. And there ain’t no more that anyone can expect of a person. It would have been nice to get a visit or a letter, but you had to distance yourself from the crime, and that meant distancing yourself from me.”
“It wasn’t that easy,” Juliette sobbed. “I could have come to see you and no one would have minded. They were pretty quick to clear me in the first place. I could have come to see you or written to you if I had of wanted.”
“But you didn’t, and that’s all there is to say about it.”
“Oh, Jules, you’ve always been so good to me. Always taking care of me.”
“I’ve always loved you, Juliette,” he put to her.
“I’m so lost. Last night, I had such an awful dream, and when I awoke this morning to find Margot gone, I felt so lonely. My whole soul was so empty that I sensed that I couldn’t go on any further. That’s when I poured myself a glass of water and began popping pills into my mouth. I simply wanted to disappear; all my feelings along with me.”
“There’s no need to feel alone anymore, Juliette, I’m here.”
Juliette smiled from within his tender grasp, his words gently lighting up her soul.
“What’s in the bag?” Juliette enquired, nodding toward the rucksack.
Jules softly let go of her and picked the pictures up. Placing the bag on his lap, he then opened it up and pulled out the first portrait that came to hand.
“So you’re still drawing me,” Juliette smiled.
Jules handed the picture to her. She took it and began studying it, a slow smile rising upon her lips as she did. A fresh tear dropped from one of her eyes and splashed onto the portrait, smudging the charcoal.
“I’m sorry,” she said, turning to Jules.
“It’s okay, my love,” he replied delicately, “they’re all yours anyway.”
Returning her gaze to the portrait of herself, Juliette remarked, “You always capture me so well, Jules. Which photo did you do it from?”
“None,” was his brief answer, and she turned to him.
“You mean you did them all from memory?”
“Of course. I know each line, each contour and each blemish of your wondrous face, my love. A million photographs couldn’t capture the essence of your soul. Not like my own soul can. It’s my heart that I draw from.”
“Oh, Jules,” Juliette cried softly, “hold me.”
Jules once again took his love in his arms, holding her head gently to his chest. He thanked God that he had found her when he had. From here on in he would break Juliette out of the darkness.
He would protect her against all the ills and nurse her back into the light.
CHAPTER TWENTY
It was now ten days since the crash and Sam was healing up in hospital. He’d been awake for three days now, having initially spent four days in intensive care and another three in critical. Over those days, he’d had a lot of time to think and had come to the conclusion that he’d been extremely selfish lately. That he had to let Claire go and that he had to support Jess in the best way he could. From now on, he had to be selfless. From now on, he would be the greatest father ever.
The crash had acted as a moment of catharsis for him, and when he had awoken, Sam felt a new lucidity to his thinking. Yesterday, Stan Bormann had come to see him. In Sam’s absence, the board and shareholders had voted Bormann in as CEO and he had come to essentially see how Sam was doing. But ostensibly, he wanted to talk shop. Sam had never really liked Bormann—he called men like him the ‘lizard people’—but Marya admired and respected Bormann, so Sam had always assumed that he would back Stan anyway. Bormann wanted to assure him that Sam would still be the head of all intellectual design, which Sam knew would be the case anyway; after all, he was the golden calf. As to the strategic side of the business, that would be Stan and the board’s jurisdiction. All Sam wanted to know was if he would continue to be allowed to invest billions of dollars into technologies that wouldn’t yield profit for decades, but would keep Techsoft at the forefront of world
technology going into the next century. Bormann gave his assurances that under his guidance, the board would continue to share Sam’s visions for the future. Bormann also wondered when Sam would be available once more for work. To this, Sam had shrugged his shoulders and told Bormann that he needed a period of rest from company affairs, time to be with his daughter. Bormann had smiled, evidently pleased with this piece of news, and told Sam that he could have as long as he needed.
After that, Sam’s personal assistant, David, visited him with several updates, especially on the many charities that Marya was the patron or creator of. They wanted to be granted a moment of Sam’s time in order to see if they had his future patronage. In truth, they didn’t need to worry about anything. When Marya had first gotten sick, she had begun contingency plans for all her and Sam’s organizations in case of her death. They would be well looked after in the future. As soon as Marya’s will came into effect, they would find out just how much she’d already planned for the future.
Now, on his third day of consciousness, Sam awaited the only visitor that he really cared to see. The only one that offered him light.
Jess.
At about midday, Sam heard the scurrying steps of his daughter and the sound of her little voice as she talked to Maud. Soon, the door of his room was swinging open and Jess came skipping in.
“DADDY!” she cried out the moment she saw her bruised father sitting up in bed.