by M. N. Forgy
My eyes snap to his, deep down I know he’s right. He’s always been the toughest out of us all, not scared of anything or anyone. I envy that.
“Besides, you make her your ol’ lady, she’s family. Ain’t nobody going to fuck with her or that kid.” Chaos points to me, his voice holding promise. Something the gang up north knew nothing about. It wasn’t about family or loyalty, it was who could be the biggest baddest motherfucker and run shit. I pray a club of more caliber than I’ve ever know sets up shop there and wipes them motherfuckers out one day.
My past is the only thing that envelops its dark wings around self-consciousness, making me walk the perfect line. One with no regrets and no remorse.
But now, a little girl and a pretty little woman that has no business being a stripper have lifted that darkness and shed light on a side of life I never thought I deserved. Happiness.
“So, we done with this bitch talk? ‘Cause I’m ready to beat your ass in some pool,” Sly jabs, splitting the rack of pool balls and making Chaos and I both laugh.
Aspen
I ignored North and stayed at Centerfolds. I had one more routine the entire night because Valley worked her magic on DJ Nerve and I was skipped. I must have been an idiot to think she wouldn’t retaliate in some way. I wanted to stand up for myself and show this place I’m not a naive little girl, what I got was confusion and no money. I really needed the cash tonight as I have a lot of things to do at home, like Halle’s nightlight was broken and her curtains were torn. I need a drink, a fucking joint. Something. I should have just gone home when I realized what was happening so I had more time to clean up the mess Kace made. Slamming my locker shut, I head out into the hall and find Halle still playing with the basketball. She makes me smile.
“Hey goofball, you ready to go home?”
She looks up at me.
“Yeah, but look what Persia taught me!” Halle put the ball on her finger and spins it. “See, it doesn’t fall!” she says with excitement.
“Come on, let’s get home. It’s late.” I encourage her to put the ball down and leave with me.
Bad Bunny walks out of the vanity room, rubbing her makeup off her face.
“That girl is going to be the female Michael Jordan, you just watch,” she states, and Halle puts her hands on her hips.
“Yes, ma’am!”
Suddenly, Bad Bunny’s eyes look past me and go wide. I turn around, finding North standing in the hallway, staring at me.
I swallow, butterflies swarming in my stomach.
“Hey, why don’t you come show me some of those moves?” Bunny ushers Halle inside the vanity room, giving North and I some alone time.
“Can I try on some makeup?” Halle asks, following her in there.
“Hey,” he says, his voice charming as ever. His hair is a mess like he’s been running his hands through it a million times, only making him look more appealing.
“Hey,” I mutter, happy to see him but nervous about what he has to say.
“Can we talk?” he asks with a hopeful tone. Crossing my arms, I nod just as he turns around and walks out onto the main floor. I follow him until he sits in a black leather chair, I sit in one across from him. The club is closed and the lights are on, so you can see everything in here.
“Look, there’s a lot of fucked up shit that makes me the prick that I am. I’ve been trying to save everyone from my own past, that I forgot what being close to someone even feels like,” he explains, and I instantly feel bad already.
“I do want you and Halle in my life, and that’s not easy for me to say. It scares the fucking shit out of me.” His face is pale, his eyes wide when he tells me this, but my heart can’t help but fixate on the fact he wants Halle and me in his life.
Kace was the only man I have ever been with and it turned out to be the worst decision I ever made, but he also hid a lot of things from me since the beginning of our relationship. He’d say he was going to the store but would come back with nothing. I let him lie to me because I didn’t want to believe him and endure the pain. With North, I know what I’m getting from the very start. He’s flawed and bad, but that’s what attracts me to him. He’s imperfect to the world but not me, he’s good to me. If he was a bad apple like Kace, he’d be a dick to the world and me. That’s not North, there’s more to him.
“I’m going to do everything in my power to protect you and that little girl, Aspen. It won’t make sense at times, and hell, it may not even work between us but I’m in it to try if you are.”
His confession takes me aback. The big bad biker with a big heart just told me he wants to be with me. A stripper and a biker, how romantic.
Biting back a smile, I look to the ground before glancing back up at him.
“I’ll try.” My voice soft.
“You can’t strip anymore. Seeing you up there tonight killed me, Aspen,” he confesses, and my mouth parts.
“But, I need the money,” I explain.
“I think you need to be the house mom, Valley’s intentions are not for these girls and she proved that with you,” he says, sitting forward and resting his elbows on his knees.
“Um… you’ll make salary and don’t have to worry about men touching all over you.” He pitches the sell, making the job seem more and more appealing. Being a house mom for the girls here sounds better than stripping when it comes to telling my daughter’s school what I do for a living.
“Yeah, okay. You might have to teach me the ropes, but I’m down for that,” I accept.
All of a sudden “Pony” by Ginuwine starts to play, DJ Nerve messing with the acoustics of his computer and the speakers of the club.
A sly smile crosses my face.
“Under one condition!” I hold my finger up to North, and he frowns. “You have to dance for me.” I sit back, ready to see this Magic Mike two-point O that all the girls have been talking about.
He hangs his head, his cheeks turning red.
“Ah, you little shit.” He laughs, making me laugh. “No way,” he protests.
“Then no deal. I still strip. It’s only fair. I mean, you’ve seen me.” I shrug, knowing I’m playing with the devil.
“Be careful what you wish for, Aspen,” he teases before finally standing and climbing up on the stage. Goosebumps instantly race along my arms, wanting to see him dance. I’ve never seen a man strip in person before.
He grips the pole and rolls his hips, and my mouth parts with how fluid his body is. Shrugging off his leather cut, he tosses it at me, and I catch it, but barely. He places one hand behind his head and slowly drags the other palm down his front before pulling up his shirt and revealing his abs.
I become so giddy, I cover my mouth with both hands, he drops to the ground, his arms in a push-up position he raises a left leg and dry humps the stage. I bite my lip and watch with fascination, my entire body feels hot and sweaty and my nails dig into his leather.
He slips off the stage, and I hold my breath as he comes to me. Each step in rhythm with the bass of the song, he hops on my lap, a knee on each side of my hips, and I can’t help but laugh. He rubs his nose down my neck, his jean-clad cock pressing into my stomach with carnal desire.
He sings to the song, looking into my eyes as he swirls his hips and rubs his cock on me. I can’t help myself and reach out to touch his abs. He snatches my wrist and shakes his head.
“No touching the dancers, ma’am.” He raises a brow and drops my hand onto my lap.
“Yes, sir.” I abide by his rules, but Jesus Christ, I feel like I’m going to combust if he doesn’t touch me soon. As if he read my mind, he dips his head and slowly presses his lips to mine. The entire dance sizzling into something passionate and intimate just before the club goes silent.
Opening my eyes, he looks back at me with such intensity I suck in a loud breath.
“Where did you come from, Aspen?” he asks as if he’s mystified by my presence.
“Mom!!!!” The sound of Halle’s voice has him climb off m
y lap and pull his shirt back on.
I stand, straightening out my shirt and shorts.
“I’m tired.” She groans, rubbing her eyes.
“Yeah, let’s get home, baby,” I say, walking over to her, I press my hand to her back, ushering her to the front.
“Why are you all sweaty?” she observes, and I blush. North dancing like Magic Mike is why I’m all flustered.
I stop at the doorway and look over my shoulder, finding North resting against the stage with a sly smile on his face.
“You wanna come with us?” I invite him over.
He bites his bottom lip, pushes off the stage and walks to us.
“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”
“He’s not sleeping in my bed!” Halle protests, walking outside.
“You smell, I don’t want to sleep with you anyway.” North pokes fun, making Halle gasp in horror.
“Do you think Dad will be mad that North is staying over?” Halle looks up at me with innocent eyes, knocking the breath from me. I glance to North who is staring at me like I have all the answers.
“Um, I don’t think so. Daddy and I aren’t together anymore, Mommy’s told you this,” I remind her, and she throws her arms up.
“Well, he gets mad at everything is all I’m saying!” She opens her side of the car and climbs in, and North grabs my hand to stop me from getting in.
“You sure you want me to come over?” His brows furrow.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” I grab him by the cut and pull him to me. “It’s just weird knowing what happened and…” I stop, not wanting to think about what happened to Kace. I have never known anyone to kill or be murdered and when I think about it, it scares the shit out of me that North and I are going to be caught and I’ll never see Halle again. In the back of my head, I just tell myself he finally left town and Halle and I are happier without him. North grins, brushing a hair out of my face and says, “Okay. I’ll follow you.”
Climbing in the car, I start it and begin the trip home. Halle is curled up in the seat, half asleep when she pulls her head up and says.
“Dad is not going to like this, Mom.”
If Kace was alive, he wouldn’t like it. In fact, he’d do everything in his power to have his buddy run North off. He’d do anything to hurt me whether it was mental or physical.
The man is dead and he’s still in my head. When does that stop?
Ten
North
I follow Aspen to her place and park my bike right behind her car. Shutting her car door, she walks over to the passenger side, but I beat her there. Halle is fast asleep, so I open the door and pick her up. Aspen smiles and ushers me to follow her. Walking the brick patch with large green plant leaves on the sides she unlocks her door but holds it up with the other as if it’s ready to fall to the ground. I can’t help but frown at how unsafe that is.
“This way,” she whispers. The house is a mess, things thrown everywhere, and I have to step over piles of things to get to a room full of basketball décor. Holding my breath, I gently lay Halle down and look to Aspen with bewilderment.
Shutting Halle’s door, I can’t hold it in anymore.
“Why is your place like this?”
Her mouth opens then shuts as she turns some lights on.
“Well, Kace broke in that night before he went to the club and trashed it. He broke the door, tore my couch up.” She points to the rip along the middle cushion.
I suddenly remember Kace’s knuckles crusted with blood the night I killed him, must have been from fucking wrecking her place.
Using both hands, I jostle the door to test its durability, and it shifts back and forth. He tore it off the hinges. I can fix it though.
“I’ll get the landlord to fix it or something.” She huffs, and I look at her with a scowl across my face.
“He’ll just charge you damage fees. I’ll get it taken care of tomorrow,” I tell her, and not ask.
She sits on the couch, small feathers poofing out from beneath her. Strutting over to her, I lean in, a fist on each side of her, my face in hers.
“Shit like this isn’t going to happen to you anymore, understand?” The possessiveness in my voice comes out of nowhere, and she nods innocently. Tucking my hand under her chin, I make her look me in the eyes. “You’re mine now, snowflake.”
Grabbing her by the waist, I pick her up and head down the hall where I saw the other bedroom and plop her down on the bed. I kiss her until my lips are swollen, and caress my hands over her body until it sinks in that she’s really mine and I’m not alone anymore.
“North, what is your real name?” she asks, half asleep. I pause, I haven’t told anyone my real name in so many years.
“Elijah,” I whisper.
She tilts her head back, her eyes looking up at me in the purest form.
“Why do they call you North?”
I tell her everything from the bad club I was into my girlfriend being raped. She listens, curling into me tighter as I tell my story. I completely unravel my wounded heart and hand it to her, giving her something not a lot of women would find appealing. It’s bruised, scarred, and lacks luster that men our age can give her.
“It wasn’t your fault Elijah,” she says almost asleep, and I suck in a tight breath hearing my name.
“What about your parents, do you still talk to them?” She pushes for more information. My jaw tightens thinking about my parents, people I haven’t thought about in a long time. Another part of my life I try to forget ever happened.
“No.” I clip. They’re drug addicts, and I was put in foster-care. I don’t have parents, I don’t have a family.
“What about you?” I return the question.
“Not anymore.” She mumbles, her head tilting downward and breaking eyes contact. Parents not being a subject we want to talk about anymore silence blankets over us.
I don’t say another word the rest of the night. I just hold her until we both fall asleep.
That is until the blinding sun shines through the curtains and the sound of multiple fists pound on the front door.
That knock can only be one fucking thing.
The police.
Aspen
I wake to North aggressively shaking me awake.
“Wake up, the police are here,” he whispers, and I snap straight up. I know they’re here because they know North and I conspired together to kill Kace and they’re going to arrest me.
“What do we do, do we run?” I whisper back, sliding off the bed, I find a pair of shorts on the floor and slide them on.
“No, we don’t run. Just tell them you met Kace for drop off and he was drunk so you wouldn’t let him take Halle. That’s the last you’ve seen him.” He coaches me through what to say, and I nod a little too eagerly, my hands shaking.
“Okay. Okay,” I mumble, completely terrified.
“Aspen.” North takes me by the chin and makes me look him in the eyes like he usually does. His cold blue eyes grounding me and I take a deep breath.
“That woman that is on that stage every night, the same woman that would do anything for her daughter. Bring her out,” he commands of me, and just like that my hands become steady and I lift my chin confidently. I can’t go to jail, I can’t lose my daughter. Not because of Kace. Walking out of my room I notice Halle’s door to her room is still closed; good. I step over all the things I hadn’t gotten a chance to clean up yet and find my door hanging halfway open from being broken. Unlocking it, there stands Pepper, Kace’s old partner.
“Hey, Pepper,” I say with a sleepy voice and cross my arms from the cool breeze sweeping in.
“Hey, Aspen. I have some bad news this morning.” He looks down, his face frowning. I tilt my head to the side as if I’m all ears. “They found Kace’s body down by the tracks late last night. Looks like he had been drinking and blacked out,” he explains, and I cover my mouth with disbelief.
“When was the last time you saw him? Do you know?” he asks with an em
otional voice.
“Um, the other day.” I cover my collarbone and shake my head. “He was really drunk when he met to pick up Halle, I wouldn’t let him take her,” I explain, my eyes stinging with the urge to cry.
“Well, we all know how Kace had a drinking problem.” He starts fiddling with his gadget belt before turning to look at the rookie looking officer behind him. Must be his new partner.
“We’ll need you to come down to the station, make a statement when you can.”
“Yeah, okay.” Nodding my head, he suddenly looks past me at the disaster my house is in.
“What happened?”
“I’m not sure. I was at work and came home to it like this,” I answer honestly, my nails digging into the broken door. He frowns.
“I’ll make sure and have a squad car come through here at night, help keep an eye on things,” he offers, and I clear my throat to keep from asking why he cares now.
“Thanks, Pepper.”
Turning away, he and the other officer disappear, and North pokes his head out from the corner beside the door.
“They’re gone,” I tell him, and he comes out farther, running his hand through his hair.
“You killed him with a train?” I ask with horror.
“Do the details matter?” He scowls. “You get your daughter, don’t you? The less you know, the better for everyone.”
I suddenly feel foolish for my outburst.
“You can work anywhere and do anything now that he’s out of your life. Remember how he had you cornered, Aspen, and you came running to me?” His voice raises.
“Yeah, I remember,” I mutter, knowing this is what I wanted in the end.
His face softens and he wraps his arms around me, kissing my cheek.
“I’m sorry, it’s just… I’m not used to this kind of thing,” I explain.
“Nobody is,” he whispers.
“Mom?”
North and I turn abruptly, finding Halle looking up at us with a basketball in her hands.