by Nana Malone
"There is nothing to listen to. You are the queen. My queen."
I was tired. So Goddammed tired. "Sebastian, you keep this up and you will push me away."
The emotion in his gaze was almost too much to bear. I could see the pain, the fear and then the resolve. "You aren't going anywhere. You left me once. You will never leave me again."
I lifted a brow. "What, you're going to lock me up?"
"Make no mistake, I will chain you to the damn bed if that's what it fucking takes to keep you where you belong."
"Barefoot and pregnant?"
His eyes went wide. "Is that what this is about? You don't want a baby?"
Oh God. We were spiraling in a direction I did not want to go. "No, you idiot. Yes, I want your damn baby. I can't wait for someone as obstinate and pig-headed as you to give you a run for your money."
"Me? I'm obstinate and pig-headed?" He took a step toward me. I didn't move. Our bodies were scant inches from each other, both of us breathing hard. "I have never met anyone so mule-headed in my entire fucking life."
"Same, Your Majesty, same. I feel like I'm suffocating, Sebastian. I need to be able to move on my own. I need to feel like I have a voice."
"You do have a voice. You have everything some people would dream about."
"Except my freedom. At first, I thought if that was the price for having you, and that was fair enough, because you were the prize. You were what I wanted. But all this other stuff..." I shook my head. “I can’t handle it if you treat me like some delicate fucking flower.”
"You wanted to paint. I practically built you a gallery."
"It's not about what you can give me. It's what I can give of myself. I love being the queen. I love standing next to you. I love making determinations about things that will help people. I love that. I also love being a Guard. I'm not just one thing. It took me a long time to realize that, but I'm not. And Ariel called. Ariel... asking for help. After everything she has done for me, I can't just stand back and say, 'Well, Sebastian wouldn't like it.’"
He threw his hands up and ran them through his hair. "Jesus Christ, Penny, you're supposed to talk to me."
"And what would you have said? ‘Over my dead body. You're not going. At least not without a forty-guard entourage.'" I cocked my head up. "Sound familiar?"
At this point we were beyond yelling. We were screaming. No way they couldn’t hear us all the way in the cockpit.
"The more you scream fucking guard at me, the less inclined I am to actually accept one of those fucking guards."
"Jesus Christ, woman, you're trying to make me insane."
"I'm pretty sure you already are insane."
He lifted a brow. "I can make you comply."
I glowered at him. "No, you can make me come. And you can sate me and stupify me for a few hours. Maybe a day or two, but these feelings will still be there. I am choking. I know you miss your father. I do. And I can't even understand how hard it is to have stepped into his shoes when you're a completely different kind of person. But the more he tried to control you, the more you ran. You ran for two years with no guards."
"That's different."
"Why? Because you're a man?"
"Yes." His nose wrinkled as if he’d just realized how that came out. "Fuck. Why can’t you do as you're told?”
I grinned up at him, basically poking the bear with a big-ass stick. “Why can’t you stop being an overbearing, domineering, alpha—"
I didn’t get to finish because his lips crashed down on mine. They were unyielding and harsh, and my body started to shake with the tension. There was no running from him. Not that I wanted to. Therein lay the problem. He knew my weakness. I tore my lips away before he could melt my resolve. I was not going to get blissed out on orgasms and forget this fight.
“Nope. Not going to happen, dickweed. You’re not going to make me suddenly not mad. I am so furious at you and your—”
My only warning of the next kiss was that cocky smirk before he fisted both his hands into my curls and bruised my lips with his. His tongue licked expertly into my mouth and a whimper escaped.
I tore my lips away again. “No, you can’t just bone away my pissed off.”
“Wanna bet?” He mumbled. He leaned forward to kiss me again, and I mulishly turned my head.
Rookie mistake, Len. Rookie mistake. His stupid hot lips landed on my neck and a pure shiver of lust pierced my soul. It wasn’t fair. He had that sexy stubble going on, and he knew what buttons to push. A quick graze of his teeth and my panties were a sodden mess.
“You're a prick,” I muttered angrily even as I angled my head to give him more access. Just this once, we were going to screw it out and then get back to business.
His chuckle was low and evil as his fingers roughly slid into my leggings. The asshole knew what he was doing. His fingers were sure and knew their target’s weaknesses.
He pulled me back by my hair. “Look at me Penny.”
Stubbornly, I kept my eyes shut. Sure, he could make me come, but I wasn’t giving him the satisfaction of seeing me enjoy myself. I knew how much he liked that. Well tough. I was going to take my orgasm like a soldier.
This is dumb. You want him. Just say it.
Nope. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.
“Oh, my little Len is mad at me,” he whispered.
Another fucking shudder at the feel of his lips over mine as he whispered my nickname. That wasn’t playing fair. He knew what that did to me. I’d used the childhood nickname when we’d first met. And our first time together, he hadn’t known who I was. To this day, he only called me Len when he really wanted me. It was basically a guarantee of very fast orgasms from me.
“I said look at me, my queen.” The endearment was met with a little extra tug of the hair. Not enough to hurt, but enough to tell me he was in charge. And of course, it only made me wetter. I swore to myself, sometime in the near future, I was going to pay him back for this.
I opened my eyes and glowered at him. He chuckled softly. “That’s okay. Even though you're still mad, I can tell you want me.” He added another finger to his explorations, and Christ on a cracker I was close. “But you know how I like it. I want to hear you say you want me.”
I crossed my arms. “It’s going to be a long wait.”
He chuckled low again. Deftly, his thumb pressed over my clit and I groaned.
Fuck, I was going to cave. I knew it. He knew it. “C’mon baby. Consent is sexy,” he whispered against the shell of my ear.
God, he was such a prick. But my legs were shaking. And he was too damn good with his hands. And I knew the kind of mind-blowing orgasm that awaited me if I just said yes.
But principles.
Another involuntary whimper tore out of my chest, and he gently massaged my scalp as he crooned. “It’s okay if you’re too mad to make love. Hey, I get it. I just figured it would help if we released the tension first and remember one of the many reasons we love each other. But if you don’t want—”
Goddamn it. Screw principles.
That’s the spirit.
“I want you. Please make love to me.”
I’d never seen my husband move so fast. He turned me and nudged me face down on the bed. His hands were none too gentle as he dragged down my leggings. He fumbled with his belt, and I heard the shifting of fabric. And then he was behind me, lining the length of himself at my heated center.
I wiggled my hips in anticipation. He pressed forward, and as he nudged me open, he dropped his forehead to my back and muttered, “Fuck, Len.”
It was so good. Too good. Freakishly good.
He was full and pulsing, and he was on a mission. One hand went back to my hair, dragging it out of the way as he kissed my shoulder and neck. His other hand wound around us, seeking out my clit.
He pumped slowly, keeping his pace steady. Whispering about the dirty things he’d already done to me and some of the other things he’d always wanted to do to me. For my p
art, I had no leverage. All I could do was claw at the comforter on the bed and meet his thrusts.
And God, was I close. So close. The lightning danced at the edge of my consciousness. I could almost taste it. But he wouldn’t go faster, and all the while he kept talking to me in his deep voice. “I fucking love you so much. I was so scared. Do you understand how terrified I was?”
Shit. Shit. Shit. The anger dissipated, replaced by his raw worry. “Sebastian.”
His speed picked up, his fingers circling my clit. “You scared me. And all I could think of was what a fucking badass you were. I was a proud husband and not a king in control, and that worries me. I just want you to be safe. I love you. I love you. I love—”
“Oh God… yes… right there…”
It was his words that drove me over the edge. The stupid affirmations of how he felt about me that propelled me toward bliss. He picked up his pace. “You are everything. You are the heart of my existence. You have to know that.”
“Seba—”
I couldn’t talk anymore. The lighting had found me, and it lit me up with raw electrical energy as my body seized in his arms. Sebastian released my hair and covered my mouth with a strong hand. Faster and faster and faster his hips moved, giving me no rest. He wanted more, demanded more.
Jesus, he was going to kill me with sex. But God, what a way to go. The second electrical shock blasted the last of my brain cells away. I was only vaguely aware of his broken, muffled cry into my hair and the length of him jerking inside me for what felt like minutes.
The one thing I was distinctly aware of was his whispered, “I love you,” before I passed out.
Seven
Ariel…
I glanced over at the locked door. Was Penny okay? There certainly had been a lot of shouting. It was quieter now, but still.
Sebastian wouldn't hurt her, but he had been so mad. When Sebastian went back there to talk to her, I knew it was going to get ugly. The guilt swirled around in my belly, making for a cocktail of bile and regret and anger. This was my fault. I had done this. Penny and Sebastian would survive, but not without a few chinks in their armor, and I had done that. I never should have involved her in this.
"So, you're not going to talk to me?"
I snapped my head up to meet Tristan's gaze. "I'm willing to talk. Are you?"
The muscle in his jaw ticked. "You had no right."
"Well, you wouldn't talk to me. And clearly, something is eating at you. It's not just your life. Not to mention the fact that I think your brother is the one trying to kill you."
"It wasn't your place to run headfirst into danger. Jesus Christ. You do realize my brother is fucking insane, right?"
I turned in my seat to glower at him. "And I'm a goddamn knight, a former Royal Guard. What is wrong with you men? This patriarchy is ridiculous. I'm strong enough to take care of my damn self."
"And you think I'm not?"
I frowned. "You wouldn't talk to me. And I saw the message. If you weren't going to deal with him, I was. He took ten years of my life."
"You don't think I fucking know that?"
"You moved on. You got to live your life. I have been stuck. Unable to move on or love anybody. He did that. He robbed us. He robbed me. So yeah, I'm going to figure it out. Whatever he’s holding on you, whatever the reason he wants to kill you, I want to make him pay."
"So you broke into a prison?"
"I was following viable leads on a target. In case you forgot, that’s part of the gig."
He clenched and then unfurled his fist as he held himself stiffly in the airplane seat. "Are you serious right now?"
"We had Tasers and a tranq gun."
He stared at me. "Wow. Okay, you didn't have rope or duct tape?"
"Of course not. We had zip ties in case we ran into any guards that were helping him."
He blinked. "I was kidding."
"Oh." It's probably best not to admit to your boyfriend that you're capable of kidnapping and torturing someone. Torture was such a strong word.
"Don't you see the danger?"
"Yes, I see it. But it was worth it. If we could find out who was helping him and getting messages out to you, it would have led us to whoever Ashton is using to try and kill you."
"So you decided to hatch a dangerous plan instead of talking to me."
"If you remember, you weren’t exactly willing to talk to me."
"You should let this go, Ariel. You could have been hurt. Or worse. If what you’re saying is true—"
“It is.”
He sighed. "If it’s true, any one of those guards, or all of them, could have hurt you. You should have come to me first.”
“What, to have you tell me to let it all go? To step aside? I can’t do that. That’s not who I am. There is nothing worse than spending the last ten years of my life waiting on someone. Waiting to love them, waiting to forgive them, waiting... just waiting. God, why can't you see that?"
"I can't see it because you could have been hurt. I just got you back, and you think I’m supposed to watch you just dive head first into danger.”
“You know, all that bullshit that Sebastian is in there shouting at Penny about... about her safety and taking more care and all that shit, that doesn't apply to me. You might be a prince, but I'm a knight. I can clearly take care of myself."
"Oh yeah? Is that why you're doing things that could get you killed?"
"What choice do I have? Honestly."
"Are you insane? If the Council finds out..."
"They have already excommunicated me. I'm not under the Council's purview anymore. They can't touch me."
"They could put you in jail."
"For what? Attempting to protect the royal family?"
"They would skewer you, Ariel. I'm supposed to sit back and let you do that? And you dragged Penny into this. Sebastian is furious."
"You know what, Penny made her own decisions. He can be mad at me all he wants, but she decided to come with me. That was her choice. She wanted to help." I shook my head. "And that's beside the point anyway. What are you hiding? What is so important that you dragged the king here to stop me? What is it that you don't want me to find?"
He stood and marched over to me. "It's none of your business. You need to let it go, Ariel."
"If it has anything to do with why he kept us apart for ten years, it is my business too."
"Who are you? Jesus fucking Christ, when I left you, you were sweet and, I don't know... different."
I tipped my chin up. "Yeah, I'm different. Ten years ago, I was a girl. But I'm a woman now. I know what I want, and I go after it."
"I don't even recognize you."
It was as though he'd slapped me. "So, let me guess, you don't like what you see? Well, tough, because I'm here to stay. This is me. If you don't want all of me, meaning like this, then what the hell are we doing? We can't go backward. You can only deal with the person that's here."
"Ariel..."
"No. Think it through, because I'm not changing. That version of me is never coming back. You should probably figure out if you want the new-and-improved version or not." I turned back to the window, resolutely blocking him out. If he wasn't going to communicate with me, then we couldn't take this any further.
And you don't want to hear it if he doesn't love this version of you.
Because that was going to absolutely break my heart.
Ariel…
The next morning, I had a hard time getting going. I was still smarting from the night before. We had arrived late, so Sebastian had saved his ass kicking for this morning.
When I walked out into the conference area, Jax inclined his head toward the door. "We've got company."
"Fantastic. How did it go yesterday?"
"Fine. Everything is cool. Did you handle what you needed to take care of?"
"Yeah. And Jax... thanks."
He just shrugged. "Sure thing, boss."
I really had no choice but to follow my armed es
cort out to the car. For the love of Christ, did Sebastian really think I'd run? I had worked very hard to be nothing like my father.
Granted, right now, he was pissed off and he had a right to be. I should never have involved Penny. And Tristan was right. Those guards could have been on Ashton’s side. That had been one risk I didn't need to take, not with the damn queen, and certainly not with someone I actually cared about. But hindsight was 20/20. I'd been desperate for help in calling her. It seemed like the only solution.
The ride to the palace was short and silent. It gave plenty of time for me to rethink all my idiotic decisions.
Once at the palace, I wasn't allowed free rein. I was escorted straight to Sebastian's office. Fantastic. I was so fired. If I thought waiting for the Council to sack me was bad, this was terrible. I knocked, and Sebastian responded right away. "Come in."
I pushed the door open, and my silent guard barricaded the door. Oh yeah, that was promising. They thought I was going to run.
I faced the king and squared my shoulders. If I was going to take the hit, I was going to take it on the chin.
"Do you want to explain to me what the fuck?"
I stared at a point just over his shoulder. "Your Majesty, allow me to apologize. I should never have involved the queen."
"Are you insane? Ariel, this is unlike you. You usually think things through. I rely on you to keep Penny the hell out of trouble."
He was right. Nothing he was saying was at all wrong. I had screwed this up. "As I said, I sincerely apologize. It won't happen again."
"Damn straight it won't happen again. What the hell am I supposed to do with you now? You are one of my bloody knights, my own personal guard, and you pull a stunt like this? Penny could have been hurt."
"I wouldn't have let that happen."
"How did you plan to stop it? You know what Ashton tried to do to her. You know he killed my father."
"Sebastian, I'm sorry, okay? I never intended for Penny to get hurt. But I see you are right. She could have been hurt, and that would have been on me."
He glowered at me, the fury coming off of him in waves. "What the fuck were you doing there?"