by Nana Malone
We walked about a mile along the beach, not touching, not speaking in a pseudo-comfortable and companionable silence. I finally stopped. The moment I halted, she turned to face me.
"Jesus Christ, just say something. Anything. If you don't want me now, I get it. Hell, I don't want to be me. And I wish I had told you. I do. I'm sorry I lied by omission. It's a lot to process. It's a lot to tell someone and I—"
She put her hands on my chest. "I'm sorry."
My brows drew down and I searched her face. "What?"
"I'm sorry. I should have listened more and spoken less. I have been pushing you for weeks since I first saw you to tell me what you were hiding, pushing you to tell me your secret, pushing you to disclose something you might not have been ready to share, and I'm ashamed. I'm sorry. I'm horrified and disgusted with both myself and with Ashton."
That was not how I expected this to go. "I don't understand."
"You have been through this horrible trauma, and here I have been just digging away at you."
"You're sorry?"
She nodded slowly. "Yeah."
I shook my head. "No." I took her hands off of my chest, though I missed their warmth, and held them in mine. "You don't have anything to be sorry about. You were the first person in my life to really teach me about love. Maybe that's why I have been clinging on to that version of you. Because that was the first time I felt like someone saw me. Someone who didn't know that I was so fucked up, but still seemed to see who I really wanted to be. I wanted to be that person for you."
"You didn’t need to pretend or try. I loved you easily."
I dragged in a deep breath. "Yeah, I guess I'm not so easy to love now."
She frowned and held on tighter to my hands. "You’re just as easy to love. Yes, it's crazy, and we don't know each other like we did then. But I feel that pull, that connection. That part that sings out to me and latches on and will not let go. I feel it. And whether or not I know your secrets, it doesn't matter. I think I knew your heart. None of what happened to you was your fault. None of what happened to us was our fault. And I'm sorry, once I get my hands on your brother, I am going to fucking kill him."
She said it with barely leashed fury. I could tell she meant it.
"Anyway," I blinked away the dangerous pricking behind my eyes. I was not going to lose my shit. "There's a lot of shit that I've done. Some things I'm ashamed of. Some I would do again. I guess I'm not the same either."
"I know. And I don't want you to be the same. That's ridiculous. Maybe we could just... I don't know, get to know each other like we are now. Like, that might be a really good idea."
She wasn't getting it. She wasn't seeing. The more I sat with the decision about Max, the more I ran the play-by-play of what I had done, the more that feeling ate at me. "Ariel, I'm not good. Max was the lowest of the low. And he deserves what he's gotten, but it should burn, right here." I tapped my chest. The center of it. That gnawing feeling that hadn't gone away. "I know what I did was getting justice for Ella and his victims, but I still feel empty right here. What I did, that was vengeance. And I should feel remorse, but I don't. That's how I see there is something wrong with me."
"Tristan, my father was a traitor. My mother took off. I was ready to do what it took to get answers. I snuck into a prison, hacked it, and stole information and secrets. Do you think that makes me a good person?"
"You were doing it for me."
"No, I was doing it for me. I was pissed off. I'm still pissed off. And if I thought I could get away with it, trust me, I would absolutely pull it off again."
I shook my head. "Remind me not to piss you off."
"The thing is I've been pissed off at you since you called that night. That call from you solidified that I was never going to be free of you."
That was a direct hit to the center of my chest. "I'm sorry."
"No." She shook her head. "Don't be sorry. That should have been my indication that this," she pointed between us, "this was never going to go away. The only way to be able to deal with any of it was to see you again. Hiding away, pretending I didn't care or feel anything, it didn't solve my problems."
"Are you sure you're better off being back in my life?"
She brought my hands to her lips, kissing them softly. "Absolutely. I'm willing to try if you are because I don't want to lose another minute when I could be with you and be by your side. We can figure this out."
"Ariel, I don't know if I'll get to stay. I don't know how this is going to work out. I don't know anything."
"It doesn't matter. You are absolutely going to get to stay. And if you don't get to stay, I am leaving."
"There is no way I want you to do that. If Gilroy has his way—"
She shook her head. "He won't have his way. You don't know this, but Team Winston Isles, we fight for our own. And I would rather raze that place to the ground than let that fucker on the Council win. You deserve to be here. This is your home, and you never got to enjoy it. It's time you do. But if something happens, I go where you go."
I searched her gaze. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"
"You gave a messed-up teenager love. Until you showed up at the theater, I didn't really know what that meant. I mean, I did with Penny, like friendship, I guess. And I had a sense of family with her parents, especially, Ethan. He showed me what a dad could be. But you showed me what real, unconditional love looked like, which is why it hurt so bad when you weren't here."
"I am so sorry. My brother... I just… I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing for things you haven't done. Next time you apologize to me, it better be because you fucked up."
I grinned down at her. "Well, the good news is, I rarely fuck up."
She snorted a laugh. "Oh right."
"But when I do, it's colossal."
She slid our hands down, laced her fingertips with mine, and then shifted her gaze up. "What do you say we walk back to the cabana?"
Those five words, 'walk back to the cabana,' they were the equivalent of lighting the Bunsen burner in my veins. The low simmer brought everything to life. "Ariel, we should probably take this slow."
Her brows lifted. "You don't want me?"
I tugged her hand, pulling her close. I slid my other hand into her hair, holding as tight as I dared and pulling her toward me. I brought my forehead to hers. "You know that's not true. I would take you right now if I didn't think sand was going to end up in places that it shouldn't. But I also know that maybe we need some getting-to-know-you time."
Her gaze met mine directly, and her voice was low when she said, "Oh we're still having getting-to-know-you time, but we're also going to bang. Because of all that tension built up from when I was sixteen and only being able to have you twice, I have a lot of things that I need to work out with your body."
I wasn't even sure I was capable of laughter, but it bubbled out of me anyway, low and deep, and I felt the injection of joy through my blood. "Oh, so you want more of that?"
"Hell, yes. There are several things I would like to try. Um, we could probably start with that thing that you do with your tongue, because I want to know where you learned that, but I also really don't want to know where you learned that. But, I mean, I sort of want to know where you learned it."
I grinned. "How I came to my methods is not up for debate. But I have all sorts of things I can show you that I have learned."
"Fantastic. And then, we should go to dinner."
I shook my head. "Actually, I think a movie is in order."
Her face fell. "Oh, Tristan, they tore that place down four years ago."
"Oh, I know. They put up an office building. But in the back, I have been… You know, when we got back from Chile? I talked to the manager. I have a surprise for you."
"Jesus Christ, what did you do?"
"Don't you worry about that. You just worry about exactly how many orgasms you'd like."
"So, what? Are orgasms on tap?"
"Yes, we have ten year
s to make up for. If on the average, I would have been able to make love to you three times a week, two orgasms at least a session, that's six orgasms a week on average. Multiply that by ten years. So, we have a lot of catching up to do."
Her face flushed. "Yeah, you're right. We should probably get to it."
We turned around. And even though her hand was smaller and mine completely encapsulated it, somehow, she injected all of her warmth into our touch, warming the two of us, making that pain and emptiness inside my chest dissipate a little bit. I was so in love with her. I might not have known exactly who she was, but I could feel it. She was my soul. And we had lots of time to make up for.
Ten
Ariel…
Team Winston Isles was together again and it felt, I had to admit it, freaking fantastic.
Everyone was piled in Sebastian's office. I had forgotten how much we had grown over the last year and a half, but so be it. Soon we'd have to have these secret meetings in a much larger room, making them far less secret, obviously.
Ethan called everyone to order, and then he handed me the floor.
"Hey everyone. So, I'll keep this brief because there is a lot of work to be done. Most of you know our history with Prince Ashton."
I had already briefed my team. Everyone knew that he’d committed high crimes against the queen, hence his exile and imprisonment. Everyone knew that he’d tried to kill Penny and Sebastian, so there was that. And they knew about his involvement with King Cassius’s death and the Sons of Angelus.
No one knew what he'd done to Tristan or what he'd done to me, and no one was going to find out. "We believe the exiled prince is the one who has been plotting to kill Prince Tristan."
Cue the not-surprised faces.
Queen Mother Alexa rolled her eyes. "How can that child be related to us?”
Sebastian shrugged. "Blame dad?"
Alexa nodded. "Yeah, good point. He's not here to defend himself."
Sebastian smirked. I wasn't sure how I felt about them making jokes about the late King Cassius, but they both seemed to have moved through their grieving process to the now-able-to-make-jokes stage.
"Based on a series of communications, we know the prince has some help from at least a few of the Royal Guards."
Ethan cursed under his breath. "Oh, for the love of God. Sometimes I feel like I should scrap the whole lot."
"We don't know how many. Each communication he has sent to Prince Tristan in the past came from a different number. So we don't know if it's one guard giving him a series of burner phones or allowing him to use his phone with a series of burner sims, or if multiple guards are aiding him. We have no way of knowing, which is why we can't notify the Council yet and why no one outside of this room is really to be trusted."
Lucas shrugged from his position with Bryna on his lap. "What else is new? But you have communications between him and Tristan, so isn’t that proof enough?"
"If only it were that easy. We need to prove who among the guards has been assisting him. Get them to confess. All his texts are vague enough that the average person wouldn’t see the threat. And then there is another spanner in the works."
Everyone groaned when Jessa added, "The Council is not on our side."
Roone chuckled. "Hey, soon-to-be Council member here. I could be on our side."
"Yeah, Roone, you'll help, but it won't be enough. Lord Gilroy has always blamed Tristan for his daughter’s disappearance. But our theory is that she was being manipulated by Ashton to make it look like she and Tristan had a relationship."
Tristan was quick to pipe up. "We didn't."
Roone sighed. "Jesus Christ. Sorry Tristan, but I fucking hate your brother."
Tristan shrugged. "Join the queue."
I continued. "So, Lord Gilroy has petitioned for a vote to fully exile Prince Tristan from the Winston Isles and never allow him to return. He’ll likely push for that in the special vote in less than two weeks.”
"Jesus Christ, can't we catch a break," Lucas said.
"Tell me about it, mate." Tristan replied.
I continued as if the two of them hadn't interjected. "So, we've got the Council against us, and we have to prove Ashton is trying to kill Tristan. One good piece of news is that with every communication to Tristan, there has been another communication to a general location." I pulled up our map and circled a location with a special LED marker on the screen. "Right in that general vicinity, we think that Amelia Gilroy is still alive and kicking, and we believe she is either in cahoots with Ashton or terrified of him. Too terrified to return home. She may not even know that he's been exiled and that he can't hurt her from where she is."
Jameson piped up. "Can we trace the text messages and see the content?"
I shook my head. "No. They're using some kind of scrambler. The only reason we have Tristan's is because we have his phone."
Trace pushed away from the wall where he'd been lounging. "Okay, so when do we leave to go get the girl?"
I slid my gaze to the king. "Actually, we are going to go a little clandestine. For starters, we need to locate the girl as quietly as possible. There is a chance Lord Gilroy knows his daughter is alive and is just using her as a tool to keep Tristan away. He could be making a play to raise suspicion that Sebastian is protecting his cousin, to eventually call for a vote of no confidence."
Roone cursed under his breath. "We can't take anything for granted. We need to locate her quietly, assess, and bring her back quietly so no one knows she's back. We also need to keep an eye on the Council. We need to know who's on our side, who's against us, who would likely vote against Tristan staying. And then there is the matter of the proof we need against Ashton."
"How are we going to get that?" Lucas asked.
"Well, when we bring back Amelia Gilroy, we'll use her as leverage. In the meantime, we're going to get access to Ashton's secret files. He has a safe located in the tunnel somewhere," I said.
Jax, my cool-headed second-in-command glanced around. "So let me get this straight. First, we need to find this girl. Second, we need to look at every member of the Council as if they're persona non grata. And third, we need to find a secret safe in the hidden tunnels in the palace to gain evidence against an exiled prince, yes?"
I nodded as if he sounded perfectly rational.
He nodded too. "Okay, cool. Just making sure I had, you know, all of our impossible missions straight."
Sebastian smirked. "You don't have to worry about the first impossible mission because we have a solution for it."
I couldn't help my smile. Despite him not wanting Penny to go into the field, he seemed irrationally excited about the prospect of the two of them going together. "So the first mission is to find the girl and quietly bring her back. If Ashton has manipulated her into thinking that she can't come home, the only way she'll come back is if the king and queen themselves talk to her."
Ethan chuckled. "How the hell is that going to happen? It's not like we can send the two of them undercover without a massive guard."
Penny gave him a sheepish smile. "Actually Dad, that's exactly what we were thinking."
Ethan's eyes went wide. "What? If you think—"
I held up my hands. "Ethan, hear us out. Sebastian survived for two years undercover. No one knew where he was. No one bothered him. And we know that Penny and Sebastian make a great team. I'm not suggesting that they go without any guards, but I want complete black ops to follow from a distance, and not a big force. They're just going to be a happy couple who happen to find the girl and bring her home. Easy. No muss, no fuss, no fanfare."
It was the first time I'd seen Ethan truly furious. "Jesus Christ, you're asking to put my daughter, the queen, in harm's way? Not to mention the king. We have already lost one king in the last three years. It seems you're eager to lose another."
"No, but Tristan and I need to be hunting for that safe. My team needs to be looking for proof. Everyone else needs to be on Council duty. We could bring in more Guard
s, but again, we don’t know who is compromised. What do you suggest?"
"I'll go myself."
"Ethan, you can't go yourself. Besides, you're needed here. We need to know which guards can be trusted and which ones can't. They're your men and women. You know them."
He clenched his jaw and turned his gaze to Sebastian. "Your Majesty, I must tell you as your first counsel that I am not on board with this plan."
Sebastian sighed. "Ethan, trust me, I'm not exactly thrilled about it either, especially the part about Penny being in the field. But it can't be avoided."
Penny's brother spoke up for the first time. "In terms of a guard for the king and queen, I volunteer. I'll watch my sister's back."
Penny gave her brother a small smile. "Thank you, Michael. I appreciate it."
Ethan, sensing that he might be outnumbered in this, sighed. "Okay, your mother couldn’t be here today because she is serving as a diplomatic envoy, but if Michael is going, so is she."
I nodded. "Perfect. Obviously, Trevor can be trusted. Is Frank out of recovery?"
Ethan nodded. "He’s still in rehab though. He'll have to be on comms."
"We'll take it. And I think it's probably a good idea if we call on our old friends from Blake Security."
Sebastian grinned. "Yeah, you know what? Screw that whole not being guarded by someone other than the royal guard thing. I'll give Noah Blake a call."
I nodded. "With a small four- or five-man team, that should be enough coverage for Sebastian and Penny at a distance."
Ethan threw up his hands. "You people are trying to put me into an early grave."
I turned to Jax. "As for our team, you guys know we've got the Council Ball in two days. We need full Council coverage. We need to bug and track everybody."
Zia grinned. "I have assigned each of us Council members to watch. It's a two-part approach. We'll need to bug offices and the actual individuals. Since it's a ball to honor the formation of the Council, they are all going to be in attendance. I say we take a couple of us to bug their offices throughout the course of the ball, but we'll need people on site, to handle the actual interaction, tagging, and bagging."