When she's gone, the place feels lop sided in the other direction. Even when Mari comes back, there's an empty place where Kendra should be.
Today, I'm looking forward to Mari going back to her mom's tomorrow because it means I'll be free to head across town and camp out on Kendra's door until she either agrees to take this next step and see what this thing between us could become-- or till she has the cops drag me off and throw me in jail.
I can't believe I still don't know where Kendra works. She said she's a doctor, but where? If I knew, I could go barge in on her during the day while Mari's doing her internship here at the vet's.
I check the clock on the dashboard. I've been sitting in the parking lot at the veterinary clinic where Mari's interning for the summer for about 20 minutes but Mari hasn't come out yet.
I've been avoiding going inside to get her all week because for one thing-- she's right about getting older, she doesn't need her old man hovering over her like an over protective shadow. She can say good night to her co-workers and meet me in the car without me making her feel like a grade schooler.
And for another thing-- I'm avoiding meeting Dr. Hayes. Whoever the fuck this woman is, I figure it'll be better for both of us if I steer clear.
Mari's been harping on me since she started this internship. All she does is talk about Dr. H: "Dr. H is so pretty...Dr. H is so smart...Dr. H is single..." it never ends.
I'm not sure if Dr. H is the reason why Mari has suddenly decided that I need to get remarried and make some new kids, or if Mari's sudden concern that I'm going to die alone is the reason I hear so much about Dr. H.
Either way, the kid is not exactly subtle. She's got it in her head that me and the vet she's shadowing this summer are meant for each other and I don't know how to explain it to her that there's a lot more to compatibility than both of us being single.
Besides, I told her about Kendra last Friday before inviting Kendra over for dinner.
I glance between the clock and the door to the clinic.
Mari's only gotten worse about Dr. H this week. I think she's pushing harder because Kendra didn't show. And because she's probably noticed how many times I've sent out a text and not gotten a reply.
The kid's observant...and too smart for her own good...and mine.
It looks like she's going to get me inside that clinic after all.
Kendra
I notice Mariah craning her head back to look out the glass doors of the lobby but she doesn't budge from her spot next to Lilly's reception desk.
Lilly clocked out about half an hour ago, in fact, everyone did. Except me. It's just me and Mariah, waiting for her ride to come pick her up.
Not that I mind waiting with her. Mariah's good company and hanging out with her keeps me from being tempted to return any of Logan's texts.
I finally managed to cut ties for good. I catch myself glancing over at the wall calendar hanging up behind Lilly's desk and mentally tick off each day since the last time I touched him.
It's been a week. A week ago today. The last day he had before his week with his daughter started.
Part of me ached to take him up on his invitation to meet her. To come over for dinner and spend Friday night with them as a family. The idea is so appealing, it feels like such a natural thing to take the next step with him. But I couldn't.
I couldn't chance letting myself get attached to Mari too. What if things don't work out? What if Logan and I never make it past the first steps and I blow my chance of getting setting up with a thoroughly vetted and researched match by Raven that would eliminate all the uncertainty of doing it the old fashioned way?
It's too much to risk. I had to go cold turkey and cut Logan out of my life but I can't bring myself to block his number. I know I'm torturing myself, but I can't stop reading them. At least he hasn't had the time to show up on my door and thank God I never told him where I work.
"So what kind of guys do you like?" Mariah asks.
She's been asking me about my love life for weeks now. I have a sneaky suspicion she's got an uncle or something that needs a girlfriend.
It's funny how much I actually enjoy answering her questions. I think it's because they're so much easier to answer coming from the wide-eyed 14 year old girl who just seems to want to know everything about me than when Raven asks.
Raven is easy to talk to, but I know that the answers I give her are being very carefully weighed and measured. Everything I tell Raven will impact my future.
Mariah's curiosity doesn't require answering as carefully, it makes the game more fun.
I consider her question. It's really just another variation on the same thing she's been asking all day, but like I said, I enjoy answering her.
"I like guys who are nice." I can tell my answer is too vague as Mariah rolls her eyes.
"OK, OK," I laugh before she can tell me that's not what she means,"I like guys who..." I narrow my eyes at her and try to determine just how to word my answers, "know what they want, but aren't jerks about getting it."
"Bossy, check," Mariah nods her head in one quick, emphatic move, "What else?"
"Bossy?" I mimic with a laugh, "How do you get 'bossy' from that?"
"You want a guy who knows what he wants," she parrots my answer back at me, "That's girl talk for a guy who tells you what to do," she holds up her hand to let me know it's not time to set her straight yet, "but you don't want him to be a jerk, so that means you want a guy who's going to be bossy. He should tell you what to do, but not get mad if you don't do it."
I don't know how she can be so not right at all and yet sort of exactly right at the same time.
"Would you date a guy that has kids already?" Her blue eyes narrow at me, challenging me to answer truthfully.
"Yes," I tell her simply, quickly, and entirely honestly, "Of course I would."
Mariah's head tilts, "Really? Like, even if they were teenagers?"
"Oh, well, teenagers?" I feign reconsideration, "I don't know about that then."
Mariah catches on that I'm giving her a hard time and she moves closer to me so she can shove her elbow into my arm, "Be serious!"
"Honey, there's a point when you just have to get used to the idea that the man you fall in love with might come with a past," I hear myself getting carried away with my answer, staring blankly at the calendar behind the reception desk, "you just have to be willing to take a chance, that's how love works."
Mariah doesn't answer me, which is unusual, so I turn to look at her except, she's looking at the man that just stepped through the front door. He's looking at me and now I'm looking at him.
In the moment that passes between us as our eyes meet, I feel like he can read my soul. I feel utterly exposed and raw under his hard gaze and for a fleeting fraction of a second I think I see something in him that makes my heart clench with a sensation of recognition and loss so strong I brace myself against the desk for support.
"Have you guys met already?" Mariah's usual exuberance is muted under a cautious tone. She looks between us like she's not sure we should be in the same room together.
We probably shouldn't.
Logan breaks the silence between us before I can find my voice, "Yeah, Mari," he addresses her by the nickname that I never would have suspected but now makes sense, "we've met."
Mariah looks back at me and gives me a suspicious glare and I know she sees something in the way her father is looking at me.
"Dad," her voice is low and cautious, like I'm some sort of wild animal and she wants to make sure her dad catches it without spooking it, "this is Dr. H," I'm still caught in his eyes but I hear the upturn of Mariah's lips as her voice takes on a tone that sounds suspiciously like victory.
This kid is way too smart for her own good...or mine.
"Dr. Hayes, this is my dad," Mariah yanks Logan across the room, tugging one of his hands with both of hers. It looks like it takes some effort to get him to start moving, "You can call him Logan," she smiles up at me, "beca
use it'd be kinda weird if you called him 'dad' too," I haven't taken my eyes off his but I still notice the way she stares between us before shrugging slightly, "but you can if you want I guess."
Logan clears his throat lightly. His eyes flicker off mine to Mariah but only for an instant before they're back on mine. Like I'll bolt for the back door if he lets me out of his sight.
I'm considering it.
"Mari," he smiles slyly, "remember I told you about Kendra?"
Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit. The bastard is not doing this to me! I feel my eyes widen in a warning as I clench my jaw.
Mariah looks up at him and then follows his smile back to my horrified expression. Her eyes go wide with understanding and I force a tight smile over my lips.
"OH EM GEE!" Mariah squeals.
Logan's smile is so perfect as it creases the corners of his eyes in amusement. I can tell he's glad his daughter approves of his choice in women.
"Can I call you Kendra?" Mariah grabs my hand and bounces in her excitement.
"Maybe you can call her Kendra when we're hanging out together, but you should probably still call her 'Dr' here at work, OK?" Logan answers on my behalf. It's a good answer. I'm going to go with what he said.
I nod and smile at Mariah.
"Bug, why don't you grab your stuff and I'll meet you in the car in a bit?" Logan hands her the keys and she bounces out the door with a couple of vivacious chirps.
He waits till the door swings shut behind her and then he closes the distance between us in one step.
"She's watching us," he smirks without looking toward the clinic doors or the parking lot beyond them, "she wants to know if I'm going to kiss you."
My brain shorted out as soon as I saw him standing in my clinic. The best I can do is look up at him and wonder, "are you?"
His face softens and I'm pretty sure it's closer to mine now, "Oh yeah," he whispers as his hand cups the back of my neck and his lips lower to mine.
Oh. I must have said that aloud. I realize as I give in.
"You never answered my messages," Logan whispers against my lips.
"Sorry, I--" I what? Got worried that my match maker wouldn't find me a husband if I'm fooling around with you? Because I can't seem to stay away from you? That doesn't seem like the polite thing to tell a gorgeous man who's primary mission in life seems to be to feed me, make me laugh, and give me multiple mind-blowing orgasms.
His lips press to mine in a kiss that feels like he's fighting to keep it from becoming more. Why does everything this man's lips do to me make me want more?
Logan
It's been too long since the last time I saw her.
All I could think when I stepped through those clinic doors was that I had to be imagining her. The woman in the scrubs standing next to Mari, talking to my daughter about taking chances on love, could not possibly be the same woman that I've been trying to convince to do just that for the last few weeks.
At first, I thought Kendra was going to run. I thought for sure she was going to shut me down, find a way to use Mari being there to get out of facing me.
As soon as I introduced her to Mari, I knew I had her. I saw the moment her mind changed, the way her surrender flashed across her eyes. I plan to take full advantage of it and make sure she never regrets it.
I climb out of the Suburban and grab the bags of take-out food I brought with me, meeting her at her car as she pulls into her driveway.
I got what I needed yesterday at the clinic, her promise to stop running from this. From us.
Tonight I'm here to get what I want. She wasn't expecting to see me tonight. I should be playing down at Josh's but I couldn't wait.
My eyes travel down her body as I force myself to step back from her before I drop the food I brought and take her right her up against her car.
The first time I saw Kendra there was something familiar about her, but now I feel a memory tugging at the corner of my mind. I squint at her as I take in the way her hair is pinned up in a sloppy pile on her hair and the baby blue scrubs that leave the best of her curves to the imagination.
"Diablo," I say suddenly.
"What?" She laughs as I follow her into the house.
"You're the woman from the carnival," I tell her. It comes out sounding like we're some missed connection ad from the Internet and I almost feel like we could be, "with the extra peppers."
Kendra's eyes narrow at me and then rake down my body like she's eye-fucking a memory. Then she looks back at me with a coy smile that tells me she remembers, "You clean up nice."
Her hand reaches up and runs over my jaw and I catch her palm with my lips.
"Good thing I made sure they threw in extra hot peppers then," I lean into her touch as she runs her fingers along my chin.
"I brought Mexican," I set the bags down on the counter, "but if you keep doing that, dinner's going to have to wait."
Her fingers are trailing down my neck, across my collar bone and over my chest. My dick perks up and the hunger I'm feeling isn't about food.
"I thought you'd be at the bar tonight," Kendra says casually but her hands are moving dangerously close to waiting on dinner.
"Called and told him I wasn't gonna play tonight," I pull her into my arms and roll my hips into her abdomen, letting her feel what she does to me, "I'd rather play with you."
When the steel in my pants presses into her gut I see her eyes close and her lips part and, fuck it, it takes about 3 seconds to throw dinner into the fridge but those 3 seconds without my hands on her are a lifetime of torture.
I turn back to her and pull her into my arms, crushing my mouth against hers. My hands slip up under the hem of her scrubs and unhook her bra so I can feel the weight of her tits filling up my palms.
Kendra moans into my mouth and arches her back, pushing against me as I yank her top over her head. I need to get those nips between my teeth.
I'm practically on my knees in front of her in order to pull each tight bud into my mouth and take turns between them, sucking and biting playfully till Kendra's a moaning, writhing thing in my arms.
I fucking love it. I pull the drawstring on her pants and push them to the floor and now I am on my knees. Pinning Kendra up against the edge of her kitchen counter, forcing her legs apart so I can get my mouth on her dripping little cunt.
I groan against the drenched lace covering the source of her heat, tonguing the fabric and slipping my fingers under the edge.
"You're so fucking wet, Baby," I say against the last piece of fabric standing the way between her and my mouth. I undo my pants and drag my mouth back up her body. Taking my cock in my hand, I slip the tip over her stomach before trapping it between us as I push forcefully against her.
Shit. I bend my knees so I can torture myself by digging the head of my cock up against her lace covered slit. If she wasn't still wearing those little lacy panties, I'd be inside her already.
That's not how I plan on doing this though.
So I grip the edge of her kitchen sink with her trapped between my arms and grind into her mound till she's gasping for air.
"I don't care how many excuses you make for not seeing me, Kendra," I growl in her ear, "as long as you get this fucking wet for me, I'm not letting you go."
Kendra's eyes fly open and meet mine but there's no reason in there, just raw lust. I figure I've got the advantage right now-- although I know I'm not going keep my wits about me for long with her making those incredible little noises every time I rock my steel up against her just the way I know she likes it-- so I claim her mouth with mine, reaching my hands down to take a hold of her round ass and pull her up so she can feel my cock again.
"Feel that?" I get a moan in response as it pushes the scrap of lace up between her folds. It's killing me to not have my face buried there but I want her to know that she can't hide the way her body wants mine. It's too late for that now. I've already been here, already know how needy her body gets for me. "That's for you, Baby, nobody but you
."
I give her another thrust and damn near spill my seed on the smooth skin of her stomach as she drops her back and moans again from the pressure.
"You make me hard like I make you wet," I dip my tongue into that sensitive little divot at the base of her throat, "so stop running from this."
My fingers are dug so deep into her ass cheeks I've practically got her sitting on the counter. The last time I had her ass on the edge of a counter flashes in my mind and I know I've got to get her into the bedroom in a hurry if I have any hope of getting her juices on my tongue before I lose my control.
Kendra pulls her head up and her hot mouth goes to town on my neck, nipping between little kisses all along my jaw and up the side of my face, "You shaved," she murmurs against my skin.
"Yeah, I got told I was getting Sasquatchy," I stretch my neck out and let her run her lips over the freshly razored skin.
"You got some bad advice, Bud," she gives me a smoldering look that has my dick surging like it's trying to flee my own skin to get inside her, "I love that beard between my legs."
Oh fuck me. "Com'on," I swat her ass, herding her toward her room, "I'll give you something to compare it to."
Kendra
How the fuck am I supposed to do anything but moan his name when he's got his hands all over me, rubbing that thick, impossibly hard, muscle up against my clit while he tells me he knows what I want?
God, he's being bossy. Torturing me with the promise of what I know he can do to me while he scolds me for trying to deny it.
He's right. That's the worst part about it. Not that he knows what he does to me, but that he's right. My body can't seem to get anywhere near him without screaming for him to claim me. Make me his in some way. Throw me over his shoulder and drag me off to his cave and fuck me till I can't walk on my own.
When he finally releases me from being imprisoned against my own kitchen counter I feel dizzy. For a second I think my knees aren't going to hold me, that the only way I'll regain my strength is to get on my hands and knees on the wood flooring and beg for his cock.
A Real Keeper: Arranged Marriage Romance Page 6