Pandaemonium

by Christopher Brookmyre

  ‘But these fuckers don’t know that.’

  One of the demons launches itself at them. Sendak fires, blows it away, spraying matter all over the creature behind it. Sendak pumps the shotgun just in time to repel a second assault. The demons close by retreat, but only a few yards. Then there sounds out a rumbling growl from up the slope, prompting human and demon alike to look towards the trees. A dozen more horned creatures are emerging into the moonlight: blades, teeth and claws at the ready.

  One of them lets loose a deafening, defiant, gut-shuddering roar, the cue for what will be a decisive final assault. The members of this second wave break into a run, the first group holding their positions to prevent any escape.

  Then a human voice pierces the sky.

  ‘HAAAW!’ it shouts. ‘Creatures of the Eternal Darkness?’

  Deso stands with the lance gripped in both hands, the back- pack strapped around his shoulders, and Rosemary at his side.

  Some of the demons turn in response, mostly those of the first wave. The second group continue charging, undistracted.

  Their mistake.

  Deso squeezes the trigger on the lance as Rosemary flames up his trusty Ronson Triumph.

  ‘Let there be light.’

  The lance sends an arcing blast of flame towards the nearest demons, training it on the first of them and then sweeping it steadily across the line of attackers. Several of them are completely engulfed and fall, burning, to the ground, while others run off, flames dancing about them, crashing into each other and spreading panic.

  ‘Oh yeah,’ declares Sendak. ‘Oh yeah. Oh yeah.’

  Deso twists the outlet valve, cranking up the range and the pressure as he sends the spray towards the demons on one side of the enclosing ring. He strides forward as they scatter, pursuing them with his deadly jet as they flee. Unfortunately, they are fleeing past the nearer of the Land Rovers.

  ‘Oh no,’ gasps Sendak. ‘Oh no. Oh no.’

  One of the flaming demons crashes through the windscreen as Deso’s plume of flame also engulfs the vehicle.

  Deso lets go of the trigger immediately, cutting off the fire like switching off a light, but he can only extinguish the blaze at one end.

  ‘Oh-oh,’ he breathes.

  The Land Rover burns for a few seconds, then explodes, consuming the vehicle alongside it and triggering a second blast almost before the first one has ended. It obliterates what was left of two more blazing demons and sends a pulse-wave through the air that Deso can feel in his chest. He hauls the backpack off lest it detonates, and steps hurriedly away from it, dragging Rosemary clear also.

  Sendak, Blake and Kirk look on in horror as flaming debris from the blast is sent flying against the walls of the building; and more distressingly, against the tanks abutting the walls of the building.

  ‘Get down,’ Sendak shouts. ‘Now!

  The three of them hurl themselves to the deck just before the fuel tanks go up. The explosion rips open the side of the building, blowing demons apart like cinders.

  Another explosion follows instantaneously, the leaked gas in the kitchen igniting in a flash that sends a spurt of flame towering into the sky and several objects hurtling out through the windows. One of them looked like a body. If it was Kane’s, Blake hopes he wanted to be cremated.

  Deso stands open-mouthed and stares at what he has wreaked. Retreating demons are scuttling for the shadows, ready to regroup. The vehicles are mangled, twisted and burning. The complex is ablaze in two different places and there is flaming wreckage everywhere.

  ‘Well, that’s annoying,’ he says.

  Sendak supervises a retreat back inside, keeping the shotgun raised to cover them as they retrieve the fallen demons’ weapons and hasten to the emergency doors. The blast damage looks enormous but the fires don’t appear to be spreading. The games hall will remain a safe haven for now.

  Deso sits disconsolately against a wall, casting a baleful eye over the spraying apparatus, which Kirk has retrieved in order to refuel his chainsaw.

  Sendak walks over and kicks him gently on the soles of his feet to get his attention.

  ‘Head up, son, you just saved all our asses.’

  ‘Then bollocksed up our chances of escape,’ Deso argues.

  ‘He giveth and He taketh away,’ says Rosemary, sitting down beside him and giving his hand a squeeze.

  Just along the wall, Marianne is wincing, cradling her hands in her lap and looking very white.

  ‘Morphine’s wearing off,’ Mrs McKenzie says. ‘There’s no more. I gave the boy the lion’s share, but he’ll be feeling everything soon enough too. He’s still losing blood.’

  ‘How long for the paramedics?’ asks Heather. ‘You said two hours, that had to be at least an—’

  Sendak looks reluctant to answer. Heather clocks this and cuts herself off.

  ‘Two hours was for the armed response. Paramedics were all at a crash, an hour south of Inverness. They ain’t comin’. Not in time, anyway.’

  ‘An armed response team will have medical supplies and transport, though,’ she suggests.

  Sendak sighs grimly. ‘They ain’t comin’ either.’

  ‘But you said . . .’

  ‘I know what I said. That’s what they told me. I didn’t believe them but I had to talk like the glass was half full at that point. It’s no-bullshit time now, though, and the no-bullshit reality is that they don’t just send out an ARU on a member of the public’s say-so. At most they’ll send the local beat-cop from Tornabreich to check it out, and that ain’t happened either. Which means best-case scenario is Hamish Macbeth shows up soon and we evacuate five, maybe six people, while the rest wait who knows how long for back-up.’

  ‘And what’s worst-case?’ Blake asks.

  ‘PC Macbeth got here a little while back but encountered resistance.’

  His tone is flat, indicating to Blake that he is strongly inclined to believe this the more likely. However, having just admitted he gave the glass-half-full treatment to Heather earlier, there has to be a reason he’s laying it all out so straight now.

  ‘Give it up, Sergeant,’ Blake says. ‘What aren’t you telling us?’

  All eyes are on Sendak now; whether they be anguished, desperate or daring to hope.

  ‘There is somewhere we can find some meds,’ he reveals. ‘More wheels too, maybe.’

  ‘What’s the catch?’ asks Blake.

  ‘It’s also most likely where these freaks have come from.’

  ‘MoD - Keep Out,’ states Kirk.

  Sendak nods: half confirmation, half confession.

  ‘Underneath Ben Trochart is a rabbit warren of tunnels and caverns. Used to be a secret nuclear command bunker. Post-Cold-War, it’s been turned into an R&D facility: ten times as secret.’

  ‘So how does an ex-US-serviceman know this about a top-secret MoD facility?’ Blake asks.

  ‘The MoD are only holding the note. They ain’t running the show.’

  ‘You were posted there,’ Blake deduces, trying - and failing - to keep a tone of accusation from his voice.

  ‘Yep,’ he confirms unapologetically. ‘Two years I was in that place. Saw some funky shit . . .’

  He could go on, but who is that going to help, and besides, there ain’t the time.

  ‘I never saw any goddamn demons running loose, if that’s what you’re gonna ask. What matters is I know my way around - including a short cut to get in. That’s the good news. The bad is that we’re talking a mile and a half through the woods to get there - before you step into the heart of darkness. For that reason, I don’t expect to be inundated with volunteers . . .’

  ‘I’m in,’ Kirk interjects.

  ‘. . . which is why I’m just gonna tell you how it’s gonna be. You just told me you can’t drive, didn’t you?’

  Kirk sighs.

  ‘That’s okay, because I want you minding the store until we get back. This fire should keep ’em away, and it’s gonna burn plenty yet, but anything comes c
alling . . .’

  Kirk pats the chainsaw.

  ‘I’ll send them away with a flea in their ear,’ he says.

  ‘My man.’

  Sendak then turns to Adnan.

  ‘How about you?’

  ‘Failed my test last month,’ he confesses. ‘But I can drive.’

  Sendak checks the safety and tosses him the shotgun in a gentle arc. Adnan catches it one-handed.

  ‘Good enough. Four shots, four kills, way I heard it. That ratio puts you on this detail. I don’t need you to parallel park.’

  ‘Fair enough,’ Adnan agrees, already picturing the frag count on his HUD.

  ‘I’m in too,’ Blake declares. This prompts a look of grave concern from Heather, but they both know there’s no choice.

  Sendak produces another set of keys from his pocket and strides towards the storeroom. Blake makes his way over to the pile of weapons recovered from Deso’s fiery rout. He crouches down alongside them and picks out a long-handled axe. When he stands upright again, he finds Heather beside him. She weaves the fingers of her right hand through those of his left and brings her face close to his: close enough, but not close enough.

  ‘Stay alive,’ is all she says. He’s sure she’s going to kiss him but she doesn’t. His heart is thumping. He’s disappointed, but also relieved. He’s not sure he could have left here if she had.

  Sendak emerges from the storeroom with two bows, a long box full of arrows and a roll of tape.

  ‘Anybody knows how to use these things - and I mean really knows, not just which part you hold and which end you point - then be my guest.’

  He then squats down next to the improvised flame-thrower and goes to work with the roll of tape. By the time he’s finished, it has Deso’s lighter strapped just beneath the nozzle at the end of the lance, the lighter itself rigged so that this little pilot light remains permanently burning.

  Sendak stands up with the rig strapped to his back and gives a nod to Rocks and Radar, who are manning the barriers on the emergency doors. When he turns to make sure his detail are ready and assembled, he finds Rosemary standing in front of him with a bow in one hand, a knife in the waistband of her skirt and an improvised quiver round her shoulder, fashioned from a tennis racquet cover she found in the storeroom.

  ‘My family goes to Crieff Hydro twice a year. I’ve been doing archery there since I was nine. I’m in.’

  ‘That’s great,’ he says. ‘But I meant for here. When you see them coming, take out as many as you can, but make sure you get back inside and let these guys close the doors way before—’

  ‘I can drive,’ she says.

  Sendak’s expression is equivocal. She can tell this didn’t quite sell it.

  Rosemary fleetly draws an arrow from the bow and plugs George W Bush from close to twenty metres away at the other end of the hall.

  ‘You’re hired,’ he tells her.

  Having added a driver, Sendak beckons Blake across. He addresses him quietly, glancing towards Heather as he speaks.

  ‘You know, you don’t have to do this, Father. I got what I need in terms of personnel, and I think that lady back there needs you more than either of you is entirely prepared to own up to.’

  ‘You could be right,’ Blake admits. ‘But the greater our numbers, the better everybody’s odds. Besides, there’s something I need too.’

  ‘What?’

  Blake stares portentously at him.

  ‘Same as you. Answers.’

  Here Be Dragons

  XXVIII

  They have an unseen escort for the first stage of their journey, taking them through the forest: a constant sound of footsteps out of sight amid the trees.

  ‘They’re stalking us,’ Blake observes.

  ‘Yeah, but they ain’t gonna attack,’ Sendak asserts with calm conviction. ‘They’ve seen enough to understand what a shotgun and a flame-thrower can do. They just want to know what we’re up to with these things, and they’ll be content to see us take them away, because then they can get on with trying to break into the games hall and eat our friends.’

  Vindicating Sendak’s judgement, their escort falls away, even before their route takes them out of the trees and on to open land. They pick up the pace now, their path clearer and more direct, though Sendak appears to be leading them towards a rock-face. When they make no diversion to skirt around it, Blake starts bracing himself for the prospect of a climb, though he doesn’t see how any of them are going to manage it while carrying their weapons.

  ‘Okay, everybody take a second, catch your breath,’ Sendak tells them.

  Adnan checks the time on his mobile. It’s quarter past one. They’ve been travelling almost an hour. He wonders how long Cam’s got; how long any of them’s got. They found a blood-streaked police motorcycle at the edge of the road only a few minutes into their trek, confirming Sendak’s fears. The local bobby’s failure to report in may or may not trigger a reponse - who knows how much radio traffic is normal for round here in the middle of the night? - but at most it’s not going to be swift and it’s not going to make any difference. It’s all about the four of them now: no one else.

  There is some thick vegetation growing along the foot of the rock-face, bushes and creepers climbing seven or eight feet in places. That will get them an easier start, but there’s at least twenty feet of bare rock to scale after that.

  As the others wait in place on the coarse grass, their breath spiralling steam into the moonlight, Sendak strides on, heading straight for the wall. Blake watches keenly, assuming the military man is going to demonstrate some kind of climbing technique. Instead, Sendak takes a machete from his belt and begins hacking at the bushes in front of him. He tosses away a few branches and beckons the group forward.

  ‘Demon-hunters, party of three?’ he says, turning on a torch and directing it through the gap he has created, revealing the walls of a concealed crevice.

  They venture in slowly behind Sendak, his torch now the only source of light in a very, very dark place, the passage before them disappearing into complete blackness. Adnan raises his shotgun, taking each step tentatively, while Rosemary notches an arrow against the bowstring and tugs it back.

  The passage widens after a few yards, the torch playing back and forth steadily across the floor of what turns out to be a large cave. Sendak then draws the beam along one wall, looking for where it ends. The torch suddenly lights up a twisted and bloody face, its mouth open to scream. Adnan pulls his trigger in fright, finding it locked as he’s forgotten the safety. Rosemary, having no such obstacle, looses an arrow that goes through the mouth, pinning the head back against the rock. Sendak draws the torch down beneath the neck and picks out a military uniform.

  ‘Oh my God,’ Rosemary gasps. ‘It’s a soldier. I’ve killed him.’ Sendak brings the beam down just a little further, then cuts its path short when it briefly discovers the glistening viscera spilling out from the soldier’s abdomen.

  ‘No,’ Sendak assures her. ‘You’re a few hours late for that, but nice shot all the same.’

  He resumes his scan of the walls and ground, then finds what he’s after. The beam focuses upon a metal panel lying on the floor of the cave, then he sweeps it a couple of feet to one side and picks out the hatch it was previously covering.

  ‘This is where they got out, I’m guessing.’

  Adnan keeps his weapon trained on the hatch, remembering the safety this time, while Sendak crouches down and points the torch through it.

  ‘Let me check it out,’ he says, disentangling himself from the spraying apparatus. ‘Gimme the gun.’

  Adnan hands over the weapon and guesses he’s not the only one to feel that bit more vulnerable as Sendak disappears out of sight, leaving them in almost total darkness.

  There is almost total silence too, a long few seconds of listening to each other breathe, before soft sodium light erupts from the aperture. It is followed shortly by Sendak’s face.

  ‘Step into my office,’ he sa
ys.

  They follow Sendak along a narrow, concrete-walled passage, which takes them to another, wider hatch and another ladder, this time plunging a long, long way down through an enclosed shaft.

  ‘We must be miles from where Kirk found that MoD sign,’ Blake says quietly as they descend. ‘How big is this place?’

  ‘Big,’ Sendak replies.

  ‘Bloody typical,’ Adnan mutters. ‘Why is it that when the military have to host something dangerous, they stash it in bloody Scotland?’ He puts on a fake upper-crust accent. ‘“What’s that? Polaris? Thames Estuary? No thank you.”’

  ‘Adnan?’ Sendak interrupts him.

  ‘What?’

  He puts a finger to his lips.

  Adnan cans it, and the ensuing silence is filled with a pulsing sound, low and powerful, which gets steadily louder the deeper they go.

  At the foot of the shaft, they reach a sturdy metal door, which is visibly vibrating on its hinges with each throb.

  ‘Brace yourselves,’ Sendak says, and Blake thinks for a moment that he’s talking about how much louder the noise will get when the door opens. However, it’s not the sound that Sendak meant them to prepare for, but the sight.

  They emerge into a wide corridor. The lighting is low: a few fluorescents are flickering, but most of them are completely smashed. What light there is illuminates a scene of true Stygia. There are body parts scattered across the floor: arms, legs, torsos, heads, a couple of slain demons, and blood everywhere. The walls are sprayed; the floor is awash with it.

  Rosemary sucks in a loud gasp, feels her head swim.

  ‘Keep it together,’ Sendak tells them. ‘We’ve seen worse shit tonight, and we’ll see worse yet.’

  Rosemary reaches out a steadying arm against a wall and closes her eyes. She puts herself back in that shed, with Deso. It’s just for a second, but it’s enough. When she opens them again, she’s ready to go on.

  Sendak is standing amidst a pile of butchered flesh. Instead of mere disgust, it is consternation that is writ lividly upon his face.