Miah hammered the last piece of replacement wood in the back of Isaiah’s closet. “No. She knows us. We tend to be fairly difficult to separate when we only have a few days together. Plus, they want to get to know David.” Gray had just shoved an overstuffed pillow into a blue pillowcase. They wanted to get to know David. That warmed her heart.
She met Miah in the middle of the room to admire their handiwork. “Thanks for your help with all this.” When he said it, his hand slid down the length of her arm. A tool belt still hung from his hips, making him look like one of those posters where hot guys decorated the months of the year. He could be Mr. January. The perfect way to start the year.
“My pleasure.” But the words were husky and came from so deep in her throat, she cleared it to remove the obvious signs her mind had strayed somewhere dark.
“It’s a nice room. We did good.” His voice dropped low to match hers. “Bed looks incredibly comfortable.” Miah removed the tool belt and sat it on the small table by the door. In an instant he was back, grazing his knuckles over her arm again.
Her heart stammered. How could such a gentle touch set off so many nerve endings? All of them skittering and scattering throughout her body until she wanted to scream for him to stop. Or touch her more.
Mischief danced in his eyes, so Gray swatted at him. “You’re impossible, you know that?”
“Yes, ma’am. Good thing for you I’m irritating, not irresistible.” He took a step toward her, which made her take a step back. The freshly painted, freshly decorated room surrounded the two of them like a calm sea waiting for a good, long storm.
“You’re a little bit of both,” she whispered, dropping her head.
Another step, this one accompanied by both his hands finding their way to her arms, blocking her from stepping away from him again. “Is someone tired of running? Tired of fighting this?”
She wanted to melt into those words. She was tired. But she was also scared. And not just for David. Scared for herself. “I . . . I . . .”
He used his thumb and finger to lift her chin. “Gray, it’s okay. I can give you whatever you need. Even if it’s more time.”
His hands were on her, touching, caressing her. How long had it been since a man had held her in his arms? So long. So very long. And she needed that, but not from anyone but Miah. Her heart told her to go ahead and jump, and she wanted to, wanted to with every ounce of her being. Every ounce except her mind. And for so long, her mind had ruled her, made her decisions, told her what to do. She needed Miah to know it wasn’t him that was the problem. He was . . . well, he was almost perfect. She opened her mouth expecting words to flood the space around them, expecting to be able to explain why she was the way she was. But all that slipped from between her lips was, “Slow.”
He moved so gently, it was barely perceptible. He nodded, a hint of a smile appearing on his face. “Slow,” he repeated and she knew that he understood.
“But not stopped,” he said, head tilting to make sure she understood.
His body pressed against her and she relished it, the very feel of him, the scent, the sound of his breath and heartbeat. Slow but not stopped, she repeated in her mind.
Although warning thoughts tried to shoot through her head, they were all absorbed when his mouth touched hers. Warm, sweet. Home. Gray wound her hands around his neck and gave in to the man she’d loved for most of her lifetime. His hands skimmed her back, tangling into her hair, his touch the fire that made Miah everything he was. And made Gray want to disappear into it. She wanted to be fully saturated in the gold that was Miah. A fever skittered through her veins, a rush, like lava heating, melting, changing her.
And in that moment, she didn’t want to be safe. She didn’t want to be careful. She wanted to be a reckless girl whose actions mirrored her bravery. She wanted him.
He must have realized she wasn’t backing away, was even pressing forward, kissing him with more fervency, the kind that could barely be contained. Miah broke the kiss, his breath ragged. In his gaze she saw the flame and the question. “Are we doing this?”
It was an honest inquiry. Direct. Like Miah. And right now, she was weak. “If you’d asked me that five minutes ago, I’d have said no, but . . .”
His hand dropped with a clop and she watched the war raging within him.
Embarrassment tried to take root in her, but she wouldn’t allow it. She and Miah, they were beyond petty things like embarrassment. But he’d just made her a promise that they’d move slowly. And here they were, both ready to ditch that commitment.
“We’re not,” he said. It was hard for her to hear, even if it was the right choice. Judging by his reaction, it must have been difficult to say. He looked like a man being ripped in two. “I messed this up once before. I don’t want to do that again, Gray.” And his hands came up to touch her in such a soft embrace, such a tender caress, she had no choice but to disappear into it. To become everything he needed. “I can’t run the risk of messing us up again.”
A tear slid down her cheek, half from the fact that she’d waited for this man her whole life and half from the fact that she’d have to wait a little longer. In her moment of weakness, he’d been strong. And that was the kind of thing that built enduring relationships.
He dropped his forehead to hers and the sound that left his mouth was a deeper sorrow than sadness. “Even if we’re ready, David’s not. This is inevitably going to change things for us.” He thrust his hands into her hair and squeezed his eyes shut. “God, I want to do this right.” It was a prayer. And a plea.
And it settled the matter.
She dropped a peck on his lips. “We’re going to move slow. Period.” She stepped away from him to find her legs barely able to carry her weight. “It’s the right thing.”
“Come on. Isaiah and Gabriel will be here in less than an hour.” Hand in hand, they left the room and went downstairs for cold drinks. No hot cocoa today, they were already scorched inside. Ice-cold root beer. And it barely helped.
Gray knew David was nervous about meeting his uncles, but he tried to keep from fidgeting. He stood arrow straight, on the porch beside Gray, his shoulder brushing her upper arm—it was for support. She’d come to learn that David was a kid who liked the touch of another human being. Angela had always discouraged too much touching. Once he was old enough to listen and obey, she didn’t hold his hand. Gray leaned a little closer so their arms were pressed together. Some of Angela’s ideas about childrearing were just a tad misguided. She’d read the “less touch is better” mantra from a book that compared raising kids to the dynamics of wolf packs. “Raising the Alpha Male in a Dominating World.” Utter trash. Why hadn’t Gray ever questioned her on it? She’d had no right to, that was why. But it was all different now and she had as much say-so in David’s upbringing as Jeremiah did. And that was an incredible gift. If the situation upstairs earlier in the day was any indication, they were both willing to put David’s well-being far above their own.
Ian whipped the raised Jeep into the gravel parking spot beside Miah’s truck, and Charlee, Isaiah, and Gabriel piled out. Both young men looking fresh from the military with short hair and cut muscles.
Jeremiah hugged each of his brothers, then had them follow him up onto the porch where David and Gray waited. “This is David,” he said, with so much pride it caused Gray’s nose to tingle and she felt a tremor run David’s arm. He thrust a hand out to them, Gabriel first. “Nice to meet you.”
Gabriel shook his hand. “You look like your dad.” When Gabriel smiled, the whole world lit up around him. How had one family spawned such good-looking boys? All four of them, standing around Gray now, each with his own individual look, but each one no less striking. Both Gabriel and Isaiah’s ultra short hair drew attention to their expressive eyes. All eyes and smiles, these McKinleys, and Gray could only hope they’d be warm to her for David’s sake. Charlee had thawed, b
ut who knew what kind of reception she’d get from these two brothers?
David took care of it. “This is my birth mom, Gray Smith.”
Gabriel stepped in front of her, stared for a fraction of a second, then grabbed her up in a bear hug. “Gray! You don’t weigh a pound more than you did in high school.” Gabriel was two years younger, but super smart. He and Gray had been fairly close, the two of them sharing some AP classes.
“My scale would disagree,” she grunted, dangling midair, her tensions dissipating.
Miah used both hands to separate them. “Okay, that’s enough manhandling David’s mom.” He stepped fully between them, turning to face Gray. “And how does my brother know what you weighed in high school?”
She shrugged, rolled her eyes. “I can’t recall.”
Next Miah introduced Isaiah. “I’m really happy to meet you, David. I think you can probably keep Miah in line.” He shook his hand then leaned in a little closer. “He needs someone to keep him in line.”
David nodded knowingly, and just like that, they’d taken him in and made him part of the pack. No lack of touching required.
Dinner was ready when they got to Charlee’s. She’d cooked spaghetti with Ian’s homemade marinara and fresh Parmesan cheese. There was a Caesar salad that disappeared as quickly as it hit the table and baskets of homemade bread. Charlee beamed. “I have to be honest, I knew this would be an easy dinner to clean up and I wanted all the time I could get with my brothers since Miah is stealing all of you tomorrow.” She gave him a mock glare, but it held little animosity. With all her brothers there, she was floating around like a Disney princess.
“So what’s the plan for tomorrow?” Gabriel asked and leaned back to rub his stomach.
“Get up early; the boat’s already tied at my dock and ready. Grab the gear and go. Supposed to be warm tomorrow. We should get in a full day.”
“Caleb made sandwiches for everyone.”
“Ah, Caleb,” Gabriel oozed. “Such a sweet thing to do.”
Caleb grunted and pointed at Gray. “You try telling her no. She’s a dictator.”
Miah reached for another piece of garlic bread. “I thought you told me she was a tyrant.”
David stood up. “She’s both.”
The group busted up laughing at that, and Gray even had to chuckle. It was true.
David started clearing plates so Gray joined him. She knew he was tired, school all day, and he’d want a good night’s sleep before the big fishing trip tomorrow.
Charlee stood to help, but Gray waved a hand for her to sit. “Let us. You need to visit.”
Charlee gave her an appreciative smile and didn’t argue. She sat back down.
Gray and David loaded the dishwasher. She handed him a plate and said, “So, Miah wants me to stay at the house tonight. He said the fishing trip would be over by about one and he wanted to see if I’d help him with an early dinner.”
“That’s nice.”
“I told him no. That I’d just come over tomorrow at one, but I was thinking that I’m pretty tired and maybe you and I could head back to his house. Get a good night’s sleep. You have a big day tomorrow. Who knows how long these guys will be up.”
David rolled his eyes. “I’m capable of going back and going to bed myself.”
They put the last of the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and Gray turned it on. “You know Miah would insist on going with you.”
David huffed. “True. Okay.”
“Did everything go okay at school today?”
He bent to put the dishwasher soap under the counter. “Sure, why?”
She brushed black hair from his eyes. “You just seem a little . . . off tonight.”
His head dropped, lashes too thick for a boy hooding his eyes. “I just want tomorrow to be a good day.”
Ah. The fishing trip. He’d be on display in front of his uncles and his last fishing adventure had ended with a flesh wound to his father. She leaned forward for emphasis. “Miah will be right beside you.”
His mouth twitched. “I know. He makes me feel . . . safe. Does that sound stupid?”
“No.” She dragged him into a hug. “He makes me feel safe, too.”
They joined the group, and Gray told them she was tired and planning to stay at the lodge. No one asked, and she chose to ignore the upturned brows. This was for David. He’d be a bear in the morning if he had to stay up half the night listening to war stories. Besides, the others didn’t know that when David first came there and there’d been snowstorm after snowstorm, she’d stayed quite a lot. It was none of their business, but she was aware of the loud silence after her announcement and the sets of eyes trailing to Miah. He stood. “I’ll walk you back.”
Gray shook her head. “Stay here and visit with your family, Miah. Moments like these are rare.”
He gave her arm a squeeze, then turned to David. “See you tomorrow, champ.”
“Gray! Gray, wake up!”
She shook the sleep from her as the panic in David’s voice settled in. He’d pushed her bedroom door open with such force, it slammed against the wall. The noise helped rouse her. She sprung from the bed, trying to assimilate her surroundings. “David, what’s wrong?”
“I—I can’t find Jeremiah.”
Her eyes leveled on the clock by her bed, but the numbers were blurry. Finally, she saw it was seven in the morning.
“Daylight. He wanted to leave at daylight. But he didn’t wake me up.” He stood in her doorway, fishing clothes already on and she realized he must have slept in them.
She grabbed her robe, a sinking feeling souring her stomach.
Downstairs, they found no sign of the McKinley men. The house was deathly quiet and empty. David turned to her, such a sad, confused look on his face, it broke her heart.
“Did he have to go to the bait store this morning?” David asked. Hope, so much hope in his tone.
She pulled a breath. No. He didn’t. He’d been to the bait store the day before. She moved away from David so she could look into the backyard where the dock had anchored the boat last night. She said silent prayers as she moved in an effort to unblock the view. But when she stopped at the window, it confirmed every fear she had.
The boat was gone.
David stepped beside her, searching the east end of the lake, then the west. His breath made an oblong fog mark on the window. It was a long time before he spoke. “They went without me?”
Her heart shattered. How could Miah have done this?
Innocent, golden eyes looked to hers for answers. “Jeremiah went without me?”
She opened her mouth, but had no words.
David dropped his head and mumbled, “I’ve been practicing with Stacey. I wanted to surprise him.”
A dart of pain settled in Gray’s chest. She shook her head. “I don’t know what happened, David. I don’t think he would do that, intentionally leave you behind.”
Stiffness entered his muscles. “But he did.”
David tried to turn and walk away, but Gray wouldn’t let him. Gripping his shoulders, she drew him in. And for a good half hour, she held him while he cried.
CHAPTER 13
Six hours after they’d left, the McKinley men returned. Gray knew the moment the boat pulled in. She steeled herself for whatever excuse Miah could hope to give about leaving his son behind. She’d tried to call his cell phone as soon as she realized they were gone. It rang inside the house and that’s when she knew she’d have to wait until he returned to get an explanation.
The others were still outside when Miah came in the house calling Gray and David’s names. She waited in the kitchen at the sink. “Hey, where’s David? I want to show him what we caught.”
She spun, gripping the butcher knife in her hand more tightly. “Why didn’t you take your cell phone?”
But his
focus was on the weapon. “Whoa.” He raised his hands in surrender. “No reception on the lake. Uh, everything okay?”
“Is it okay?” No. Nothing was okay and she’d been fooling herself to think it would be. Miah was Miah and all through high school, he’d picked other girls over her. Now, he was picking his brothers over his son and though she knew he likely had some reason for leaving David out, the fact remained that David’s heart was broken. “You tell me. I spent the morning consoling a twelve-year-old.”
Concern for David caused him to step forward. “Why? What happened to him?”
As he moved closer, she realized she’d been holding the knife like a weapon. She discarded it on the counter. “You, Jeremiah. You’re what happened to him.” She so knew that feeling. The feeling of being overlooked. She didn’t want to bring it up, didn’t even want to admit it still cut her heart like a dull blade, but it did. All these years later, it did.
He shook his head to clear it. “I don’t know what’s going on.”
She pointed at the back door. “You didn’t take him. Had you planned on him staying home alone all day?”
“Well, yeah. When you said you weren’t staying the night, I thought it must be fine for him to be alone for a few hours. Is that what this is about?”
She leaned forward. “You went without him, Miah. You ditched him for your brothers. He was heartbroken.”
She watched the realization rise like a morning sun on Miah’s face. “David wanted to go fishing? That can’t be right. He never wants to go. I’ve asked him a dozen times. He hates fishing.”
“Well, right now he hates you more, so congratulations.” She cocked her hip and crossed her arms. She knew she was being hard on him, too hard, probably, but it hurt so deeply to be shoved aside like yesterday’s trash. All David wanted was for his dad to be proud of him. All she’d ever wanted was Miah’s attention. And when she finally got it, finally believed she was able to have him, he’d kissed her on the top of the head and said their night together was a great send-off. “I should have known this would happen sooner or later.”
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