“I’m sorry. And poor Kelly. Not to know her grandparents.” He smirked. “Not that they seem to be worth knowing.”
“I took all the money they sent and put it in the bank. Never spent a dime. Figured she could use it when she’s out of school.”
“Why?” He laced his fingers through hers. “I’m sure you needed it when you were just getting started?”
“I didn’t ever want to feel that I owed them for anything. Wanted to do it myself. If they didn’t want me or Kelly, I didn’t want or need them.” She rubbed her palm along her leg, up and down. “How can people be so wrapped up in their place in society to think that others are beneath them?”
“That’s all that’s important to some people...money, jobs, titles.” He leaned back in his chair with a thud. “They’re wrong.”
Allison watched his face and body turn defiant, obviously lost in his own memories.
“Yes, well, it’s their loss not knowing Kelly.”
“Family doesn’t matter to everyone, Allison.” His face softened. “But Kelly’s still a lucky girl. She has you, your parents, and I’m sure the rest of your family to make up for what her society grandparents probably don’t even know how to give.
Brett dropped their linked hands to his thigh, individual thoughts replacing words as they absorbed what they’d shared.
They were still silent when Kelly raced up beside them.
"Mom. Mom." She crooked her finger at her mother. "Can you come here?"
Allison slid her hand from Brett’s grip. "What's wrong, sweetie?"
Kelly used her whole hand to motion for her mother to come with her. "We need you for something."
Allison looked quizzically at Brett and shrugged. "Must be girl stuff. I'll be right back."
A few minutes later Allison approached Brett’s chair, her purse in her hand. “I need to go to the store. I'll only be a few minutes."
"Anything wrong? Want me to go for you?"
She lowered her voice to a whisper. "It seems Caroline has a new experience and I'm not prepared for it. I'd been planning on buying some supplies for Kelly, but thought I had a little more time."
He knitted his brows, looking confused. "There's something wrong with Caroline?” He hopped out of his chair. “Do I need to check on her?"
Allison smiled. "I guess I'd better be more specific. Caroline started her first period."
He turned red, a charming shade of crimson. "Oh...I...uh..."
Allison couldn’t believe he was tongue-tied. A man she thought couldn’t be embarrassed.
She patted his arm. "Everything's under control temporarily, but I need to buy some..."
He stopped her with his upraised hand. "I understand. I'll go with you."
"You want to go with me?"
He nodded, his lips in a determined line. "I'll need to know what to buy in the future and I think Caroline will be less embarrassed if you bring me up to speed."
"That's probably true. Come on."
She was impressed. Stuttering one second and ready to put his daughter’s needs above his discomfort the next.
Trailing behind her across the porch, he tried to whisper, but his deep voice didn’t cooperate, his words coming out in hoarse spurts. “Is she all right? I mean how do the other girls feel about this kind of thing?”
“She’s fine. Actually the other girls are a little jealous. She’s so grown up now.” Allison pointed to the back of the house as they walked through. ”They’re all huddled back in Kelly’s room talking about it.”
“Should I say something to her?” He glanced nervously to the back, obviously paranoid about the thought of being sent into a female wonderland.
“Not now.” She unlocked the front door. “Maybe tomorrow after you’re home. I think the more you act like it’s an everyday experience the better she’ll be.”
Brett sighed as he jangled his keys in his pocket. “I sure wasn’t prepared for this.”
As Allison came around the corner of the porch an hour later, she saw Brett hunched over his legs, his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. Her heart lurched seeing him look so despondent.
She touched the top of his head. "You all right?"
He wrapped his hands behind her thighs and pulled her body between his open legs, laying his cheek on her stomach. "I feel so awful about this."
She shuddered as he ran his hands up her body, resting them on the small of her back.
"You shouldn't feel bad. Caroline's fine."
"But Allison." He eased his head back and looked up. "Don't you see? I wasn't ready for this. What if it had happened at home? I wouldn't have known what to do. I hadn't even thought about this." He dropped his head, his forehead landing at her waist.
Taking his downcast head in her hands, she knelt down in front of him. "You would’ve figured out what to do. You're a caring, wonderful father." She rubbed the deep lines over his brows with the pads of her thumbs. "You're being too hard on yourself. Remember, I wasn't prepared either and I'm a woman with a daughter facing the same thing. I’m the one who should’ve known better."
He wagged his head slightly. "But, Allison, I didn't even think about it. I should have planned for it. Bought her a book. Had...” He waved his hand in the air. “You know." He placed his hands on her arms, his tension gripping her. "Was she scared? Is she upset?"
"Stop." Bracing his head, she kissed his lips softly. "She's fine. I talked to her privately. Explained what to expect. What to do. She can handle it."
"What am I going to do in the future? There are so many things I can't help her with. Things she needs to know." Brett slammed his hand on the chair arm. "Dammit. I can't believe her mother didn't prepare her. That woman.” He stopped. “No. No. I can't blame her. It’s my fault. I knew she wouldn't think about Caroline. I knew it was up to me."
He clutched Allison's shoulders. "I'm so grateful you were here to help her. I'll have to find a way to help in the future. I know I can't be a mother to her, but..."
"I'll help any way I can.” Allison said softly. “If there's something you want me to talk to her about, you and I can discuss it first and then I'll take care of it. Okay?"
"You would?” His face relaxed. “I know it's not fair to rely on you like this."
She laughed. "Don't worry. I'll expect payment. Let's see.” She tapped the side of her face with a finger. “Maybe, every conversation will earn me a home cooked meal on a night I'm late at work."
Standing suddenly, he dragged her to a dark corner of the porch, leaning her against the side of the house. Spreading his legs, he placed his body against hers.
"Anything you want. Just let me know." He kissed her cheek and then moved to her ear. "You’re an incredible woman." He kissed her mouth urgently, all of the emotion and stress of the last few hours flowing from his body.
He moved one hand to her waist and ran the other up her side, resting for a moment below her breast. Deliberately, he spread his fingers up over her breast, until his hand covered her.
He grew hard against her stomach as he ground his body into hers. His fingers teased her nipple, creating a burning sensation sweeping from her breast throughout her body.
"Brett," Allison gasped. "We have to..." She wrapped her fingers around his neck and pulled his head into hers, encouraging his mouth to assault hers. Feeling her body catch fire, she knew it was time to stop.
"Brett." She pushed him back.
He rested his forehead against hers, his breathing fast and short. "I know. I know."
They stood, their bodies inches apart, panting heavily. "I can't believe you do this to me." His voice was raspy. "I act like I'm sixteen. I can't seem to stop."
"I know what you mean." She smiled. "It's nice isn't it?”
He hugged her quickly, then released her. “It’s a lot more than nice and we’re going to have to find some time alone. Really alone. Soon.”
“Well, I guess we can’t sneak around forever.”
He grasped h
er arms. “So you’re ready?”
“Perhaps.” She moved away from the wall. “I’m thinking about it.”
“Well you keep thinking and I’ll keep trying to convince you.” He snatched her hand. “Come on and walk me out while I’m temporarily decent. Otherwise, I’ll start kissing you again and have to slink out in the dark.”
"What’s this?" Allison asked.
"Thank you gifts.” Brett handed her a cup of coffee and a bouquet of flowers as he stood on her front stoop the next morning. Dangling from his other hand was a brown paper bag, the top rolled down and wrinkled under his curled fingers. “Am I too early to pick up Caroline?"
"No. They're finishing breakfast in the dining room.” She waved him in the front door. “The other parents should be here soon, too."
She sipped as they walked into the kitchen. Hazlenut. Nice. "You’re spoiling me with this coffee. I’ll start expecting you to drop by every day before work."
"Maybe I could just stay over and make it in the morning,” he whispered.
“Hmmm.” Now that’s an enticing thought. Fresh coffee and the man who made it first thing in the morning.
Opening a cabinet above the refrigerator, she searched for a vase. “Can you reach that for me?” She pointed to a dusty glass flute.
“Sure.” He grabbed the vase and followed her to the sink.
"And where would the girls be during this evening over?" She cut the ends of the flowers, rinsed the vase, then fussed with the arrangement, keeping her hands busy.
“Oh, I don’t know. A baby-sitter, maybe?”
“Oh, a baby-sitter.” Wonder if that would be coffee in bed. "You know you didn't need to bring the flowers." She looked over her shoulder, as he stood close behind her. "But I love them."
She set them on the edge of the counter. Flowers, coffee, kissing. Maybe there were a few things she’d been missing working so hard the last ten years.
"Let me show you something else I bought this morning." He unfurled the top of the bag, now limp from his damp palms, and slipped out a slim paperback. "Do you think Caroline will be embarrassed if I give her this?"
She thumbed through the book ‘Growing up a Woman’, Brett craning over her shoulder. Pictures, frank discussions, everything Carolina needed. Everything Kelly needed, too.
He lifted his head, his forehead deep furrows of concern. “Well?”
She closed the book and slipped it back in the bag, folding the paper, smoothing the creases. "This is very thoughtful of you." She kissed his cheek. "She's a lucky girl."
"Thanks.” Red spots dotted his cheeks, the same ones that had appeared last night on the porch. “I feel better today. Still nervous, but better."
"I stay nervous. It's tough raising a child. Especially alone." She imagined him in the bookstore, befuddled by the volumes of choices, no one to talk to, but loving his child enough to plow through his embarrassment. She knew James would’ve never been able to handle it. Even being a doctor, he would have crumbled at the thought of dealing with such a personal issue.
Brett’s serious gray eyes peering over the vase of flowers reminded her...all men weren’t like James.
"Maybe we can help each other out sometimes." He leaned in, kissing her lips lightly. "Share war stories and all."
She stood very still, surprised at how flowers and a small kiss made her light headed. No, it was more. It was the man, the father, the caring person that was making her melt. "Sounds like a plan."
"Dad, I didn't know you were here."
"Just got here a few minutes ago, Caro." He turned to his daughter. "Ready to go?"
"Let me get my stuff." She ran toward the back of the house. "Kelly, my dad's here. I gotta go."
"Talk to you later." He touched the side of Allison’s face with his fingertip. “Think about me.”
CHAPTER TEN
Brett’s e-mail message was the first of twenty waiting for Allison Monday morning.
"Good morning. There’s a new movie Caroline wants to see Saturday afternoon. I suggest we drop the girls at the theater and then stop by the closest house for a few hours of uninterrupted time together. Check your calendar. Brett."
Allison reached over to adjust the vase of flowers she’d brought from home. She had almost left them behind this morning, not sure she was ready for the stream of questions from Susie. Even Mr. Carson had whistled as he strolled by her office a few minutes earlier. If she was worried about comments on flowers, was she ready for two hours alone with Brett.
Flashes of Friday night’s passion on the porch sent her mind reeling...and her fingers racing over the keyboard.
She was more than ready.
"I do have an opening this Saturday afternoon. Let me know the time. Have a nice day. Allison."
She sent the message and sighed. It was going to be a long week.
“All right, tell me what’s going on,” Joan Bennett whispered the second she crossed the threshold of Allison’s office door.
Allison grabbed the padded cloth visitor’s chair across from her desk and tapped the back with her fingers. “Sit down before you fall.”
Joan ambled over and sank slowly, carefully holding on to the chair arms. She laughed as she rested her hands on her bulging belly. “Let’s hope I don’t fall, it would take a crane to lift me back up.”
Sitting on the edge of the matching chair across from her friend, Allison reached out to pat her arm. “You aren’t that large. Besides, what do you expect when you’re eight months pregnant with twins?”
“I didn’t know what to expect, but it sure wasn’t this.” Joan slipped her swollen feet out of her low-heeled pumps. “Ahhh. That’s better.” She rubbed one foot over the other. “Of course I may never get them back on.”
She paused to look at Allison. “I must be crazy getting pregnant at thirty-five. I should’ve left this to the younger set.”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Leaning back in her chair, Allison looked toward the picture of Kelly on her credenza and smiled. “I don’t remember it being so easy in my twenties..” She glanced back at Joan to find her staring, her mouth in a thin line. That determined look she’d learned to recognize so well over the last ten years. Something was on her mind.
Allison and Joan had started at the bank around the same time. Both single with similar career aspirations. They completed the year-long management-training program together and remained close friends as they rose through the ranks at the financial institution. Joan was now an audit manager with a promising future.
After a seven-year relationship with a loan officer at another bank ended, Joan met her husband at a singles resort and they were married within four months. He owned a company that booked bands, including the small jazz ensemble he played in. Joan and Brad were complete opposites but as crazy about each other today as they had been when they’d met two years earlier.
And now Joan wanted information.
“Enough small talk, Allison. What’s going on with you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean. Sure the meeting was boring and heaven knows I couldn’t sit still, but I have never,” Joan waved her arms to emphasize her point, “never seen you distracted.” She stopped to point at the notepad Allison had in her lap. “You were actually drawing on your pad while Carter was talking. There is something serious happening, I just know it. But you don’t look upset, so it must be good.”
As the week had passed and her date with Brett drew closer, she’d become more and more confused. She desperately wanted to be alone with him. Thought she was ready for more. But...
“And flowers on your desk. That’s certainly...” Joan pushed herself up straighter in her chair. “It’s a man.”
Allison jumped at Joan’s declaration. Was she that transparent?
“Tell me.” Joan prodded. “And don’t leave out a single detail. I’ve been too large to do anything with Brad for so long I almost need someone to remind me what it’s like to be hugged.”
Allison smiled at Joan’s ranting, knowing her friend was exaggerating. She’d seen Brad and Joan together last week and he couldn’t keep his hands off her.
“Yes, I’ve met someone–“
“And you haven’t told me.” Joan slapped the arms of her chair. “After I spilled every bit of my whirlwind romance with you.”
Allison held up her hand. “We haven’t known each other long and it started as a committee for our daughter’s school.”
“He has a daughter, too?”
“Yes, about the same age as Kelly.”
Joan twisted in her seat, tugging her maternity top out from behind her. “What luck. Tell me everything.”
After ten minutes of bringing Joan up to date on Brett, she paused. Joan was her closest friend, but this was difficult to talk about. It was all so new. On the other hand, Joan had gone through this with Brad in her thirties.
“We’re going to be alone tomorrow, really alone, for the first time,” Allison blurted.
“And?”
“And, I’m scared.”
Joan leaned forward, but her stomach stalled her progress. She gave up and sat back. “Of course you’re scared. This is a big step. Especially for you, since you’ve avoided men like the plague since James.”
Allison hopped out of her chair and walked over to her window. “I have not avoided men.”
“Please, Allison.”
She could hear the exasperation in Joan’s voice.
“How many dates have you turned down? How many times have you refused to let Brad set you up? This Brett must be really special to even get this far.”
Allison rested her hands on the window ledge and looked out, not seeing anything outside her head. Instead, she saw Brett’s face. And that intense look in his gray eyes right before he kissed her.
He was special.
“You may be right. Although I haven’t consciously avoided dating, nothing ever seemed right.”
“Until now,” Joan suggested.
“Until now.” Allison could remember exactly what Brett’s lips felt like. His arms. Hear his laughter. He was very special.
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