If its psychological, well...we'll deal with that when it comes. I tend to think it isn't, mainly because the emotional waxing and waning is too fast. Does that sound like I am grasping at straws? Maybe.
Jess has been cooking me breakfast and lunch the last few days, since she is starting to stay indoors more now that the heat is getting truly oppressive. Everyone is mothering her now that she is pregnant, and it's a slice of normality to see her putter around the house, rather than perched up on a tower sighting a dead person's head through the scope of a high-powered rifle.
Steve has been hanging out over here a bit. The attack last week shook him pretty badly, and it brought out a seething rage that has yet to go down any notches. Not that many people would be able to tell, of course, as Steve is one of the most relaxed and calm people I have ever seen, but those of us that have known him a long time can catch the signs. His eyes have this constant tension at the corners, his steps are brisk and measured. He moves around the compound like a cat prowling for a fight. Hell, this last zombie attack earlier today was proof if nothing else can be that something is wrong with him.
He walked right through one of the last breeches of the wall with an Iaito, and simply laid waste to a large section of the attacking horde. He was wearing a set of the hodgepodge armor we put together (he's not stupid, after all) and moved with brutal efficiency among them. It was beautiful to watch, since he and I share a love of marital arts and swordsmanship, but it was scary how much of a risk he was taking. Steve isn't typically a risk taker.
And you know, part of it was funny. I mean, I love him like he's my own brother, but Steve is a very proud nerd. Like, stereotypical nerd. Big glasses, sort of high voice with a precise way of speaking, truly profound knowledge of Dungeons and Dragons. The kind of guy that gets excited as hell about an obscure piece of anime.
There he was, in a Judo gi, welder's gloves and riot helmet with a chainmaille neck covering, swinging his katana in a very practiced way, slain enemies at his feet. Never would have imagined it a year ago. Sort of like seeing Albert Einstein go into a berserker kung-fu rage and destroy the nazis, you know?
Enough chatter for now. Going to see if I can pull my thoughts together a little bit and get back to work. I am feeling slightly more normal at the moment.
I smell some coffee brewing.
Posted by Josh Guess at 11:07 AM
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Breakdown
I've been too busy to do anything today but work. We got yet another load of settlers from up north, and I think this will be the last group. The total as of today is eighty-six new folks. That's a big chunk of the people from Jack's compound, but most of them came here because they had no technical skills, or had little to do with so many others to fill jobs. To be frank, it will help them in the long run as it will reduce the number of mouths to feed on the limited resources currently available.
I feel a lot better today, much more clear than the last few days, though at the moment I'm feeling the consequences of nothing to eat or drink today. A bunch of us have been working on the bus that brought our new arrivals, trying to rig together some fixes to the brake system, which pretty much blew apart when the driver and his guards were getting ready to leave.
It's a problem only because they are on a schedule--Jack and his folks worked out some deals with a few people to have free travel through some bad parts of Ohio, but on the condition that they move through certain areas at certain times. Don't ask me why those folks made such specific demands--I have given up on trying to make sense of what some people do to keep themselves sane nowadays.
And, we are sending a big load of fresh food up there. We found a truly gigantic plot of land in south Woodford county that had more potatoes growing in it than we could possibly eat. So, a gift for our friends.
No big zombie attacks today, just the normal constant wanderers going by. We are scouting very heavily now, to avoid surprise attacks.
Got to go, Jess is shoving some food in front of me, and I need to wolf it down and get back to work.
Posted by Josh Guess at 11:47 AM
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Empty
I'm feeling worse than any point so far. Even writing this is taking all of my effort. A zombie attack came this morning, and I wasn't even capable of getting up to go fight. I just sat here and did nothing, staring at the wall.
I have no interest in saying anything right now. I just can't care.
Jess is trying to get my attention, she wants to talk to me.
Might be back tomorrow.
Posted by Josh Guess at 10:16 AM
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Veritas
I am out of the compound at the moment, clearing my head and getting my rediscovered rage under control. I left about an hour after my post yesterday, having had quite the revelatory conversation with my wife.
Jess was slipping me lithium to keep me calm.
I get it, I really do. I have an awful temper, especially when I see others being hurt for no reason. After almost five years together, she knows me and my reactions better than almost anyone. She told me when she saw that the stuff was driving me crazy, or at least pretty much eradicating my desire to do anything at all.
I didn't leave in a big dramatic scene or anything. Frankly, I was too stoned to do more than calmly explain that I was leaving for a day or two. I was coming off a fairly large dose, so I was actually feeling things, but it would have taken a big swarm of zombies to get my attention.
It's not that fact that she drugged me that infuriates me. It's that she didn't think it through. She didn't think of how dangerous it would be to me and to others to have my mind so dulled and numb. The consequences of her actions only became really clear to her when that attack happened, and I just sat at home.
I need time away. I need to be apart from the place I helped create for a bit, or it really will drive me crazy. We live in a world that seems impossible; a place where the wonders of human cooperation and ingenuity are given a bright contrast over the background of a landscape plagued by the living dead. But the truth is that the banalities of everyday life that pushed me down and made me indifferent to most things still exist. The idiocy of men and women with preconceived notions who judge others, causing strife and violence has followed us here.
The only place I felt truly secure was at home. The only person that had access to my deepest and most honest thoughts, my every secret and my total and uncompromising trust was my wife. I feel shredded inside that she felt that this was something she had to do. Part of me is proud of her pragmatism, and part of me is thrilled that I am not actually going crazy.
But for now at least, I am out here among the ruins of society. I am still in town, but for a few days at least I will be wandering around, exploring more deeply than I have had time to do since all of this began. I will be keeping in touch with the compound, since I am not running away. I just need space to reorient.
Onward.
Posted by Josh Guess at 12:01 PM
Friday, July 9, 2010
Fortress
Right now, I am sitting on top of the big state office building downtown. It's something that I have always wanted to do, but never had the chance before now. It's pretty interesting to get the bird's eye view on the movement of the zombies below, groups shambling, some running, some great pattern to it all that my mind is incapable of grasping completely.
I spent most of yesterday and all of this morning scouting around some of the less traveled areas of downtown Frankfort. I had some good finds, like a big cache of hidden lumber and tools on Holmes street.
But the best find is the building I am sitting on. It is twenty stories tall, made of concrete and glass, and has an immense amount of space. If we can clear it out and secure the ground floor, we could house hundreds of people here, if not more. I am going to explore it very thoroughly today, and see what resources we can pull from it and what we will need to do if we want it to s
erve our needs.
Jess called me earlier, and we had a long talk. Things between us are strained, but we still love each other as much as ever. I want to go home to see her, but I had no idea that I would encounter such a potentially perfect stronghold. I need to learn all I can before I go home. I feel like an idiot for not coming here earlier--this place is so obvious...
Sorry this post is so short, but I have good reason to be in a hurry now.
Posted by Josh Guess at 10:08 AM
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Inglorious Return
That was a Saturday well spent. I would have posted something, but I was so intent on staying alive that I didn't really have time.
I am back home now, and things around here have been alright without me. I am very glad that i took the time to go exploring, because the office building looks pretty much ideal. One side of it is impregnable from zombie attack, since there is a fifteen foot drop off to the road in front of it. The other faces of it would be extremely easy to build walls around, and since the square it sits in is a big flat space, we could do it fast and strong, probably in a few days.
I did encounter some zombies in the tower, though. It looked as though some other people, possibly folks that worked there, had a similar idea. Their mistake was in not exploring the place thoroughly enough; I found strong evidence that zombies were on the top floors and worked their way down. I guess they wandered about for a long time, because I cleared out several dozen from the fifth floor up.
When I got done, I barricaded the doors so no more dead people could get in, and I went across the road to start looking around the hotel there. But I ran out of drinking water and low on food, so I came home when I saw how infested it was with undead.
So for the next week or so, I will be leading teams through the area to better gauge the area there. That part of downtown is looking better and better, and most of the state buildings there are in fantastic shape. We could house a lot of folks there if we needed to.
Things here at the compound are as good as they ever are, but my wife and I are having a bit of trouble. Her recent actions have made it difficult for me to feel comfortable at home. We don't argue much, never have, but it does make us oddly formal with one another. But we are both pragmatic and in love, so it will work out. For the sake of the bump growing in her belly, I will go to any lengths to make sure we become and remain strong again.
I think we'll take a day to prepare before we start downtown. Never hurts to be prepared, my old scoutmasters used to say...
Posted by Josh Guess at 8:04 AM
Monday, July 12, 2010
A Brief History of Time
So, before we start our preparations for an outing into downtown tomorrow, I have decided to write up a summation of what has transpired so far in our corner of the world. This is more for those others out there who are just now able to communicate with the outside world since society collapsed, as the rest of you out there probably know what has happened so far.
On March 2 of this year, some sort of outbreak started in Cincinnati, Ohio. Strange things were happening there, violence unlike anything anyone had ever seen, and the dead appeared to begin walking about. Many people around the world ignored or brushed off these events, but the days that followed proved that we few who believed that the impossible was occurring were right: somehow, zombies were walking among us.
Some people saw it for what it was and began planning in earnest. Here, my wife and I maxed out our credit cards to get supplies to make our home a fortress. Others joined us over time, some strangers and others friends of friends. Here in Frankfort, Kentucky, we have made a home for anyone who wishes to peacefully coexist with one another for the purpose of mutual survival.
The world around us has changed, probably forever. Recent discoveries imply that all of us carry a dormant version of the infection that causes the dead to rise, hungry for the blood and flesh of living human beings. For those of you who have been in deep seclusion until recently, this news will likely explain to you the last several months of your lives, living in the woods or in deep shelters, having to fight walking corpses to stay alive. Some days (hell, most days) even I still have a hard time believing it.
Our home here in the western half of Franklin County is most commonly referred to as 'The Compound', given that the neighborhood, one I have lived in for most of the last fifteen years, is now a walled fortress dotted with archery and gun platforms, watchtowers, and otherwise pleasant and caring people armed with sharp objects and a steely will to survive.
In the larger world, we have discovered other groups of survivors. One of our earlier explorations was to my old stomping grounds in southern Illinois, to bring back as many of my friends and family as well as other survivors as possible. In Carterville, we found a place similar to our own, but far more suspicious and trigger happy. No further contact with that group has been established.
In Carbondale, which is about ten minutes from Carterville, we fought for our lives against a group of marauders near the SIU campus, trying to rescue sometime contributor Treesong and the folks he gathered together to save.
In Mountain View, California, a large group of Google employees and their families have taken refuge at the Google campus. They are pretty much self sufficient thanks to the plethora of renewable energy resources at that facility, and they are the ones who keep the internet going, thanks to supreme efforts in taking control of communications satellites and remotely controlling the remaining power grids all over the country. The engineers there are working on solutions for problems many of us haven't even thought of yet, and are still searching for signs of other survivors across the country and the world, to bring us all together.
By far, the group of survivors that has had the greatest direct impact on us (at least positively...) is Jack's group in southern Michigan. Though we had some misgivings, we here at the compound are thrilled to have made a bond with them. When they needed food and a sustainable system to produce it, and we needed fabricated materials and technology, it was simple and mutually beneficial for us to work together. When we lost many people in a recent attack, many of those from the north who had little to offer in manufacturing decided to migrate south, to help bolster our numbers and reduce the population pressure for Jack's people.
In the last four months, we have all suffered great heartache and loss. Constant attacks by the undead keep us on our toes, which is likely all that has kept us alive during those times when were attacked by the living. All of us find common purpose in survival, but more importantly, in living.
Before the fall, we worried about our bills. Our children's grades. Whether or not our date last night went well. We were slaves to the details and red tape of everyday life. Most of those things are gone now, replaced instead with the harsh decisions and cold judgement needed to live in this new world.
For those of you out there who have managed to survive away from the rest of the ruins of society, you may be shocked and disgusted at some of the things we have had to do in the name of safety and security. I urge you to consider the circumstances you have faced, the trials you have overcome, and think very hard about what you would have done in our place.
As I have said before and will say again as often as needed, our doors and homes are open to you if you come to us with peace in your heart and with and open mind.
If your intentions are not so pure, then I suggest you stay far away. We have lost all patience with would-be conquerors.
Now, off to pack my gear for our sojourn into downtown...
Posted by Josh Guess at 9:34 AM
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Down In the Valley
Downtown is turning out to be better than we thought. The DOT building right across from the big office building I talked about before is an absolute treasure trove of supplies. I guess the poor bastards that tried to make a stand there were using all the floorspace as a storage area, because there are literally tons of food, and a lot of sur
vival gear that we can use for ourselves or trade to folks up north.
We've got some people on top of the office building keeping a bird's eye on the zombies around us. The only real problem with this area is that it is big and open, and at the bottom of the Kentucky River valley, which means that the undead follow the path of least resistance. Which is downhill from all directions to roughly where I am standing.
Fortunately, we have a lot of practice at clearing them out.
There is a lot of room here for people to live, and of course the river provides water (we'd have to set up some sort of treatment system, but that's pretty simple on a small scale...). But there is not a lot of soil around, which means that should we end up housing a lot of people here, we would have to find a way to safely transport them to a place where they can grow their own food. It wouldn't be practical to break up all this concrete, nor to bring in enough dirt to farm on top of it. We'll discuss options when the time comes, but as far as pure living area, it's golden.
Living With the Dead: With Spring Comes the Fall (Book 1) Page 23