Sal and Ali paused for a few moments, considering.
“Yes,” Ali said.
“I guess,” Sal said. “Yes. Then we have time to talk.”
“Right. Give me a moment.”
He sent a confirmation to their escort, agreeing the moment to jump and the exact course.
Jess brought up a display counting down to the jump, just over a minute away. The others watched it in silence. Jess used his implants to speed his thoughts, giving him more time to come to terms with the shock of the Wanderer’s apparent age.
He formed a query in his mind, asking the Wanderer how old it was. As before he only gained a vague notion of it being old, but with no details. He sent another query, asking it if the memories left behind were all from captains of the Wanderer and if so just how far they went back.
The reply surprised him. The Wanderer was only vaguely aware that the memories even existed, and it had no direct access to them. It knew of them only because other captains had raised the topic before. The reply was tinged with curiosity over what was contained within the memories, and regret that it would never have the chance to explore them directly.
Jess thought on that for a long time. Once he was past the initial surprise it made sense. He hadn’t even begun to consider adding his own memories to the store, but he realised he would feel far happier doing it knowing that the Wanderer wouldn’t be looking over his shoulder.
That triggered another thought… the ship would be looking over his shoulder as he recorded anything. There must be a way of preventing that. Jess guessed it would be found within the memories the previous Captains had left behind, but he had no desire to plunge back into those just yet. The sheer depth of time they represented scared him, and the thought that they might go back much further than those he had already reached was terrifying.
Even with his thoughts accelerated time was ticking away till the jump. Jess knew the others would want to speak to him once that happened, would want to know his thoughts on freeing the prisoners. He forced himself to consider the matter.
Memories of his own time travelling in prisoner transports played across his mind. He kept returning to one in particular, the time he’d travelled alone…
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jess was ten. It was almost a year since he’d been separated from his mother, as best he could count, a year of loneliness and fear. Slowly he had become tougher, better able to hide his feelings, but inside it still hurt just as much. For months he had dreamt of finding her again, of being reunited with her, but that dream had long since faded.
Guards herded Jess and the other prisoners towards a set of large prisoner transports. Many pairs of prisoners held each other closely, trying to ensure they ended up on the same transport — and so at the same destination. Others stayed close but didn’t touch, knowing the guards sometimes took pleasure in splitting up obvious couples. Jess just tramped slowly on, head down. He had no one close that he wanted to stay near. The other prisoners didn’t treat him badly, but neither were they particularly friendly. He was the only youngster in the group and the others felt no desire to babysit someone so young.
As he trudged forwards a hand suddenly clamped onto Jess’s shoulder, pulling him out from the others. Even at ten he was well aware of how futile it was to resist the guards. He followed docilely along behind the guard who had grabbed him. They walked parallel to the prisoner transports, then round towards a group of much smaller transports.
While most transports were large enough to pack in a large number of prisoners others were designed to squeeze into gaps in the freighters that would otherwise be unused. Even those normally had at least a handful of prisoners squeezed into them.
“In you go,” the guard said as they neared one. “You’re travelling first class this time!”
Jess took several steps then paused. There were no lights in the transport, and the light spilling in showed that no one else was aboard. The guard shoved Jess hard in the back, sending him sprawling into the transport. Then the guard closed the outer door, laughing hard all the time.
Jess lay on the floor in the pitch dark, wondering if he had done something to attract the guard’s attention or had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Eventually the transport lurched as it was lifted, then loaded aboard a ship. Until then Jess had convinced himself the guard was just having fun scaring him, that the door would crack open and others would join him. Now he knew he faced the entire journey alone in the pitch dark.
Strangely the tears that had threatened to fall since he was first shoved into the dark transport vanished. All that Jess felt was a numb horror that froze him in place, filling his body with a chill far colder than that of the transport.
The journey seemed to last forever. Jess spent the entire time curled up on the floor, not moving once. He started to see things in the darkness, swirling phantoms and horrific monsters that refused to vanish even when he was sure he’d squeezed his eyes shut. Freezing cold claws and tentacles seemed to paw at his shaking body. He heard terrible screams, soul chilling howls and sibilant voices whispering his name.
In his terrified state he didn’t notice the transport being unloaded from the ship. Sudden, blinding light was the first hint he had that the journey was over — and even then he thought it was just an escalation of the horrors he had already been seeing.
The door opened fully and normality started to flood into the transport. A deep voice, almost deafening to Jess after so long in silence, ordered him out.
Jess couldn’t have complied even had he wanted to, and there was no desire to do so anyway. His body was dehydrated and frozen in place after so long in one position.
After several more barked orders to get out Jess heard footsteps approaching. A tiny part of him was still aware enough of his surroundings to tense for the heavy kick designed to get him moving. Except it didn’t come. Strong arms slid under his body and lifted it, still stuck in the same position. The guard turned and carried Jess off the transport.
“Bastards,” the guard muttered. “Sticking a young kid in there all on his own. Bet they were laughing all the time too.”
Jess heard the words, but didn’t process them. With the nightmare images he’d endured now gone he floated in comfortable numbness.
“What you got there?” asked a different voice.
“Young kid, Sarge. Was stuck in a transport on his own with no light. Someone must have thought it was funny. I’m gonna have the medics check him out.”
“Arseholes. Looks like it might be kinder to let the kid die though. He looks in a bad way. Dehydrated, malnourished and god knows what mental damage the ordeal has caused.”
“I know Sarge, but I won’t feel right unless I try.”
“All right, but I don’t know that he’ll ever appreciate it — even if he does survive.”
“Thanks Sarge.”
Jess felt himself being carried again. Then, sometime later, he was lowered onto a soft surface. The guard spoke to someone else, just too far away for Jess to make out the words, then he returned. Placing a hand gently on Jess’s head he spoke.
“Well kid, it’s down to you now. The medics will try to patch you up, but the decision on whether to live or die is down to you. If you choose to live I can’t promise you your life will be easy, or even that good, but you’ll never know unless you try. Choose well.”
Jess heard the guard move away, then new voices came near.
“…in a hell of a bad way. Is it worth wasting our time on him?” said one, a woman.
“Kids can be remarkably tough,” answered a man.
“Well, it’s your call. Let’s get him strapped down and start the treatment. We can’t risk sedating him so this is going to hurt!”
Jess still wasn’t processing the words at that time, instead they were being heard and stored for him to analyse later. If there was a later. He hardly noticed that he was being tied down, secured in place. Then something ice
-cold was slapped against his neck.
Moments later it felt as if molten iron was being poured into his body from his neck. For the first time something truly pierced the protective shell Jess had developed against the world, and that something was pain. He writhed against his bonds, screaming incoherently, all to no avail. No one came, no one stopped his suffering and he was unable to help himself in any way.
The agony seemed to last at least as long as his tortured ride in the pitch black transport had. Jess was unable to run from it, unable to block it out. The pain became the centre of his existence. And then, finally, blessed darkness swallowed Jess up.
*****
When Jess woke he found himself in a small cell with several other prisoners, not an unusual situation at all. He felt groggy for some time after waking, and for several minutes couldn’t remember how he’d got to the cell. Had he upset a guard and been beaten senseless? He’d seen it happen to others, but had always managed to avoid that fate for himself.
Finally his memories started to work. First he remembered the guard carrying him, then the attention of the medics and the agony that had followed. Working backwards he managed to remember the guard pulling him out of the prisoner transport, and then everything else returned with a rush.
The terror of his ordeal on the transport was already somewhat lessened, but it was far from gone. Jess was certain it would never truly leave him.
*****
The ten year old Jess had been right. The awful journey had never left him. Every time he and his fellow prisoners were moved by prisoner transport Jess had been terrified of being on his own again, or even of being with others but with no light.
Neither had happened, though he had on one occasion been shoved into one of the small transports again. He’d been overcome with relief when he realised not only that there were lights inside, but that others were also on board.
Jess often thought of the guard who saved him through the following years. Sometimes, when things were at their hardest, he wished the guard had left him to die. Mostly, though, he was thankful for being saved. Being a prisoner wasn’t a great life, but Jess was still young enough that almost anything was better than dying.
And now here he was, captain of a ship that was transporting other prisoners. Jess couldn’t get away from the image that somewhere in the ship’s hold was another young child who was alone in the dark, too scared to cry and too terrified to move.
Jess had the power not only to save that child, but to save everyone else in the transports. He realised it was more than just having the power. He felt obliged to do it, that to do otherwise would be arrogant and ungrateful. He’d had his chance, he’d been freed by the Wanderer. He had a responsibility to pass that on to those currently languishing in the Wanderer’s cargo bay.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
The countdown reached zero. The Wanderer’s jump engines flung her into jump space. Jess checked the ship’s sensors and saw that the Shadow Beam had jumped at the same moment and was cruising along a parallel path in jump space.
“Twenty-nine hours to Daspal,” he said, breaking the silence.
“Twenty-nine hours to decide what to do about the prisoners in the hold,” Elizabeth replied.
“No. We need to decide that now. You heard Sal describe what these journeys can be like. She only scratched the surface. There’s far worse that can happen.”
A shudder ran down Jess’s spine as memories of his lonely journey surfaced once again.
“You know my vote,” Sal said. “We free them. Right now.”
“I agree,” Ali said firmly.
Elizabeth sighed heavily. “I have to agree too, but we need to think this through before we start. Putting aside the practical question of actually getting them out and looking after them, we need to decide what to do about our escort. The Shadow Beam will see the disruption in jump space if we drop back into normal space. If they see that they’ll come after us.
If we use the Wanderer’s unique abilities to change course in jump space then they’ll be suspicious when we don’t arrive where they do. They might even suspect this ship can do something special. These aren’t people we want trying to track us down. We don’t want them to think we double crossed them either.”
“Maybe we should explain to them,” Ali said. “They aren’t going to be happy, but at least they’ll know it wasn’t a deliberate double cross. We didn’t know the cargo would be slaves, and we’d have refused the work if we did know. I’m sure they knew the truth from the start and didn’t bother to tell us.”
Everyone turned towards Elizabeth, waiting to see what she would say. She was the only one who had any real insight into the minds of their current employers.
“Don’t assume I know everything about them,” she replied grumpily. “I know their type from having to deal with them sometimes, and trying to avoid their attention the rest of the time. That doesn’t make me an expert. That’s like saying Sal and Jess should be able to predict what any guard would do because they’ve dealt with them a lot.”
Sal snorted. “Mostly I could. They were all stamped out of the same mould.”
“Not all of them,” Jess said quietly, remembering once more the guard who had pulled him out of the transport in a near catatonic state. “Not always.”
Sal opened her mouth to disagree, then saw something in Jess’s face that stopped her. Ali stared at him with concern, but, lost in the memory for a moment, he didn’t notice.
“Anyway, like I said,” Elizabeth continued. “I can only guess, and I ain’t saying it’ll be right.”
She fell silent. Jess and the others waited. None of them could add anything useful right then. However limited Elizabeth’s knowledge of those aboard the Shadow Beam might be they had nothing else to go on.
Finally Elizabeth let out a sigh and shook her head.
“I don’t know how they’ll react. I really don’t. They may try to board us. They may just let us go. Or they may tell us to surrender and follow us wherever we go until we do. The first and last would mean having to fight or run, and both would show that the Wanderer is far from the cargo ship it seems to be.”
“You said they’d suspect that if we were to peel off now,” Jess reminded her.
“Suspect, yes, but not know. They’re more likely to think that we carried on a bit further before dropping into normal space, and then set off in a new direction.”
“But if we do just disappear can we approach a different group, try the same thing again?”
“Possibly, but how will we know it’s a different group? We don’t even know which group this lot are.”
“So we run away, or we take a chance that might end up in a fight. A fight we can’t help but win. A fight they can’t help but lose. That’s not far off cold-blooded murder,” Jess said.
“Or we run if we have to, and let them figure out at least some of what the Wanderer is capable of,” Sal said.
“You need to understand what that means,” Elizabeth said firmly. “If they get truly interested then the ship will be hunted down. Even if we completely change the ship again, they know what Jess and I look like. You too most probably Sal. If you thought visiting a station was risky before, you have no idea how tricky it would be if that happens. Every prisoner we rescue from our hold would be in danger too. Each would be a potential lead to us. They’d face kidnap, drugs and probably torture — just to see if they know anything useful.”
“So the question is leave now and maybe have them come after us,” Jess said. “Or speak to them and know where we stand. And if they come after us then we have to kill them.”
Jess felt his insides clench at the suggestion, but he tried to keep his face calm. Terrible as the idea was, he knew it might be necessary. The fact that he could think in those terms was in itself terrifying. He’d had enough dealings with the criminal side of life in the past few weeks to have formed a dim view of them though, and he suspected the Shadow Beam’s crew would be no different
.
“I say we take a chance and talk to them,” Sal said. “If that means we end up fighting them then… well… they most probably knew we’d be carrying prisoners. Like you said, they’d probably drug and torture those prisoners if it suited their ends. So if it comes down to their lives or the prisoners we take theirs.”
“I agree,” Ali said. “I don’t want to be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life.”
“I’m not keen on it,” Jess said. “But it seems to be the best option.”
“Damn it,” Elizabeth spat. “I don’t like either option. I’m no fan of pirates, you know I’ll happily pull the trigger there, but we just don’t know what the crew of the Shadow Beam consists of. We’re assuming the worst, but they might be cover — maybe one or two of them could be shady and the rest could be honest merchants.”
“I’m sure there were innocent people on many of the ship’s I’ve destroyed,” Jess said quietly. “Definitely prisoners on some of the Imperial ships I destroyed. I’ve struggled with knowing that, knowing I killed those people, but I’m starting to realise that it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t put them on the ships. I wasn’t the one who ordered those ships to attack us. All I did was deal with the situation as best I could. It wasn’t my fault.”
“And that makes it all right?” asked Elizabeth in a cool voice. “That means you can sleep at night, that you don’t worry about it anymore?”
Jess tasted bile and his chest felt tight. It took several seconds before he could reply.
“No, of course not. But it helps prevent the thought of their deaths driving me crazy.”
“Good!” Elizabeth smiled warmly at him. “For a moment there you had me worried. I’ve seen people who used those arguments to turn off their feelings, to shirk all responsibility to those they’d killed. They were some of the worst monsters I’ve seen. Good men and women who turned into heartless killers. In many ways they were worse than the pirates.
Wanderer - Echoes of the Past Page 15