by Geri Krotow
“You’ve done a lot of the same, haven’t you?”
“Yes, but my motives are different.”
“Oh, of course! I know that. I wasn’t trying to say that you’re at all like Markova, or any of these bad guys.”
“I know you weren’t. And it’s undeniable that we employ a lot of the same skill sets.”
“Except you’re not corrupt. Or working for the bad guys.”
His expression grew thoughtful. “No, no, I’m not.”
Kyle’s phone rang and he answered it, spoke briefly to the caller before disconnecting. He leveled his silver gaze on her, making her feel at once safe and apprehensive.
“What is it, Kyle?”
“That’s Josh. He’s going to be here with SVPD and a couple of FBI agents within ten minutes, give or take. The gale and low visibility will make it slower.”
“I’ll get a quick shower.” She knew it might be cold, as the water heater had lost its energy source when they’d lost power. The generator could handle only so much of a load.
“Do more than that, Portia. Pack up your things. You’re not safe here any longer.” He nodded at her shoulder. “I’ll resterilize that and patch it up as soon as you’re dry.”
She was grateful he left the bathroom immediately. It would be the ultimate humiliation for Kyle to see her tears. Hadn’t she already caused enough trouble for him? Adding any kind of emotional burden to his plate wasn’t fair. She knew it wasn’t her fault that Markova was stalking her, trying to kill her. There wasn’t blame to speak of, except that she couldn’t expect more from Kyle right now than what he was here to do—bring down Markova and the ROC heroin operation.
The sting of the shower spray against her gunshot wound, no matter how minor the graze was, made her grit her teeth. It was still no match for the pain her heart filled with. She’d known it wasn’t going to last, her intimacy with Kyle. But to have it ripped away so abruptly, when the damn storm wasn’t even over, made big fat tears roll down her cheeks, mixing with the shower water.
* * *
After her shower she used the first aid kit to clean the wound again, and put a big bandage on it. Since it was on the front of her shoulder it was easy to reach, and she didn’t think she could keep the tears at bay if Kyle touched her bare skin again right now.
When she walked into the kitchen, Josh and other SVPD officers were already there with Kyle.
Josh didn’t consider Portia’s request to return to her apartment. She’d wanted to go home to her parents, or at least one of her siblings, but that would put them at risk. If Markova was still after her.
“There’s no reason to think she’ll stop looking for you, Portia.” Josh sat at the kitchen island with her and Kyle as the SVPD and FBI officers took evidence from the back bedroom. “You’ll be absolutely safe living with me and Annie. We have plenty of room and this way you can go back to work at the library. Annie can escort you there and back each day, and we have a permanent SVPD officer assigned to protect the library until the case is closed.”
“What about the library being used as a way to transfer information by ROC? Are you still going to stake it out?” She knew she sounded like the non-LEA civilian she was, but they’d get her drift.
“That’s not your concern, Portia. We’re on it. If we need to go in after hours, we will. If your staff asks questions about seeing SVPD or me on the security footage, tell them it’s extra precautions due to the heroin epidemic. You don’t have to mention ROC to anyone, even though it’s been in the media. It’s better to not confirm or deny anything related to it. For your sake, as well as Silver Valley’s.”
“Kyle’s correct. I know it doesn’t come naturally to you, but play ignorant if anyone asks you about it.”
“Will do.” Josh knew her, knew she’d follow through on the orders. LEA or not, Portia wanted what was best for all.
And that wasn’t what she wanted for herself. Kyle leaned over the counter, engaged in the conversation but his mind drifting. Was he counting the minutes until he’d no longer be responsible for her, be free to go after Markova on his own?
“This won’t affect the gala, will it?” It sounded shallow to bring up the charity event now, but her mind needed something to hang on to. Something familiar, solid. It couldn’t be Kyle—he had a mission to take down the ROC op.
“It shouldn’t.” Josh ran his hand over his face. The ROC case was taking a toll on everyone she knew in law enforcement. “Kyle explained that you two figured out what’s going on with the trains. Once the storm gets through here, it’ll take several days to clear the tracks. Then the shipments will arrive, and we’ll be ready to get them before any drug dealers do.”
“But what about Markova?”
“As long as she thinks her plan is going smoothly, she’ll be busy with that. She’s tried to take you out two times for certain, a third if we count the train tracks. Although we couldn’t have charged her with anything more than stealing a library laptop at that point.”
“Josh is about to say that Markova’s figured out that you’re too hard of a target to catch. And she’s going to be more concerned about getting the heroin unloaded and in the correct hands, so that ROC gets paid. Otherwise she’ll have bigger problems than us.”
* * *
Annie showed up two hours later to take Portia to the home she shared with Josh. Kyle couldn’t have picked a better place himself. He trusted both of the TH agents and their training. Portia would be safe. Away from him, mostly. He hated to admit it but he and Portia had gotten too close. Not just for the op, either.
He had no business getting involved with a woman he was supposed to be protecting from the very adversary he was assigned to track and eventually apprehend. Yet he had, because Portia wasn’t just any woman, wasn’t someone he’d hooked up with out of sheer physical need. He had to have Portia on all levels—emotionally, physically, spiritually. And he couldn’t. They didn’t fit, on paper or elsewhere.
“I’m ready.” Portia walked back into the kitchen, where he waited with Josh and Annie. She looked at each of them, her gaze resting the longest on him.
“Let’s talk before you go.” He looked at Annie and Josh.
“Excuse us.”
Portia stilled and he thought she was going to refuse to talk to him. He wouldn’t blame her—he hadn’t softened any of this. The forensics team was still in the house, and what had been their prison and paradise was gone, another crime scene among the thousands he’d witnessed.
“Sure. Whatever you need.” He walked past her and motioned for her to follow him to the back bedroom neither of them had used. It would be too hard to say goodbye in the very room they’d so recently made love in.
If only he’d been able to leave it at sex with her.
Impossible with Portia.
Once in the room, he closed the door behind them. The single large window overlooked the front part of the house and the snowfall continued, although the wind had begun to die down.
Portia’s form was in a defensive posture, with her arms crossed over her chest. Meeting her eyes was the hardest mission he’d ever completed.
“What do you want to say, Kyle?” Ah, this was the Portia he knew.
“You never back down from a challenge, do you?” His hands twitched to cup her face, run his thumb along her soft skin.
“By ‘challenge,’ you mean accepting that there’s nothing between us. Don’t worry, Kyle. I’m sure you have a string of women behind you. I’m not one of them—I knew what I was getting into when we got together the first time.”
As she spoke, it occurred to him that he’d lived a lifetime with her in just a couple of weeks. From the first time he’d seen her, to holding her in his arms after knocking her off the tracks, to their first hot kiss, to the way they’d devoured one another in many parts of this house, including the hot tub.
“Did you, Portia? Because I sure as hell didn’t. I had no idea that we’d end up here, having to end something that shouldn’t have started in the first place. And I sure as heck didn’t know it was going to be this difficult.”
She raised her chin and he waited to see a trembling lip, a tear positioned to fall on her lids. But she was tough, his Portia.
“You always have made it clear you’re a short-timer here, Kyle. You’ve made a commitment to move to California. And let’s face it, it’s for the best, right? If you were going to stay here longer, you wouldn’t want a relationship cluttering up your work with Trail Hikers. Silver Valley’s not for you, Kyle. It’s okay. We got each other through a tough time, with everything going on. Don’t worry about me. Josh and Annie are going to keep me safe.”
He’d planned to keep this cool, easy. But Portia made everything complicated.
And all he wanted to do was stop all of this, stop time by kissing her.
So he did.
* * *
Portia knew she should remain detached, tell Kyle that a kiss wasn’t part of a professional send-off. Yet as much as they’d shared by working and solving part of the ROC case together, the bulk of what had passed between them had been incredibly personal.
Like this kiss. When his lips touched hers, Portia grabbed his face and held him there, afraid he’d pull away before she allowed herself this one last long drink of Kyle.
His tongue plunged into her mouth, circled hers, and she sucked on it, wanting to remind him—no, make sure he never forgot—that what they’d shared hadn’t been a fling or sexual release. She wasn’t the only woman who’d shared his bed. No doubt he’d had women who’d been more worldly and sophisticated than her, for sure. But none had seen into Kyle’s soul the way she did. She was positive about this because Kyle had seen the depths of her soul, too. And still cared about her, enough to protect her and make love to her like she was the most beautiful woman on earth.
Had she made him feel the same? She pulled back from the kiss, looked at his closed eyes, heard the ragged intake of breath.
“Kyle. Look at me.” Only when his silver gaze focused on her did she continue. “Did you feel it, feel this when we were together? Did you feel like I appreciated you?”
He stared at her and she thought he might let go of her right there and then, refuse to answer. He blinked. One side of his mouth curved up. “Babe, you were the best.”
His words cut through the sexual haze he always wove around her and pierced her temporary reprieve from reality. She and Kyle were saying goodbye. He knew it, too, because his smile was gone, his eyes back to the steely hue she’d witnessed so many times over the last weeks.
“I’ve...I’ve got to go. To—”
“To Josh’s. I know. Listen, I’m not going to be able to text you for the next several days, most likely.”
“I understand.” She’d never want to distract him in the middle of a life-or-death situation.
He gave her a quick kiss on her forehead, as if she were a platonic friend. “Be safe, listen to whatever they tell you that you need to do. And good luck with your gala.”
He turned and opened the door, motioned for her to go first.
Portia left and didn’t look back as she returned to the kitchen, grabbed her bags and nodded at Annie. “Let’s go.”
The advantage of having a best friend like Annie, who’d known her for so long and knew her every expression and mood, was that there were no explanations needed. Annie gave Josh a quick kiss goodbye and left with Portia.
Chapter 17
Portia leaned her head against the passenger headrest in Annie’s four-wheel-drive crossover vehicle. Annie expertly drove them to her and Josh’s place in the rugged car, the safest bet as the storm still held on for its last gasps. It was supposed to end by nightfall.
They were headed to the home Josh had grown up in and where he had raised his younger sister, Becky, until recently. Becky had mental and emotional disabilities that required constant monitoring, which Josh had done until recently. His sister had moved into an adult community living situation a few months ago, which left a lot of room in the sprawling house.
“How’s Becky doing?”
Annie’s face lit up. “She’s fantastic. Josh couldn’t have picked a better place to take her, and she’s made so many friends.”
“I know you were so worried about her.” Portia bit her lip. She wasn’t the only one who’d struggled to find the perfect partner. Except unlike Annie, while Portia might have found him, he wasn’t going to stay in Silver Valley.
“I was. I’m more concerned about you right now, though. It seems to me that your last few minutes with Kyle weren’t great.”
They were too great—at least that kiss had been. Nothing she was ready to share with Annie, though. “I’m good. We both knew what we were doing, Annie. It’s been an emotional roller coaster, yes. We’re also both adults.”
Annie opened her mouth to say something, then closed it. They shared several moments of silence, a reprieve Portia was thankful for. She needed space and time between her and Kyle, and some alone time to deal with the burning hole in her heart.
“On another topic, Markova’s a wicked person—she has caused a lot of trouble for SVPD and the community, not just you.” Annie didn’t look at her as she spoke, her attention on the road.
“Besides the library theft and surveillance?”
Annie nodded as she gripped the steering wheel, inching forward slowly to stay within the safety parameters of the visibility. “Hmm. I’m not sure how much Kyle has told you, but I do know you spoke to Claudia.”
Portia perked up. “Yes, I have spoken to her. Which of course makes me wonder how you know her.”
Annie shot her a sly grin without taking her gaze off the road. “Let’s just say that some of my SVPD work spills over into aiding other LEAs with the tougher cases.” She didn’t have to say that ROC was a harder case than most. Portia knew it, firsthand.
“It’s certainly not like the movies. I would have expected Kyle to stop Markova in her tracks once she broke into the house, but he gave her room to be able to take off. I know I’m not cut out for law enforcement because I would have shot first and answered any questions later.”
“That’s easy, and in this instance, in the master bedroom, fair to say. But it’s a perfect example of why someone like Kyle is such an invaluable asset to have on our side. Not just with this case, which affects us locally, but with the bigger, more globally concerning issues. His measure of self-control is unheard of. Trust me, most other agents would have apprehended Markova on the spot, or at least fired their weapon at her. But he kept his head, waited to see what she’d say or do.”
“I didn’t ask him what she said in the bedroom. I heard her say something.” She’d been out of earshot, close enough to know Markova had entered the room but too far to distinguish the individual words.
“We can talk about ROC and Markova for hours on end, Portia. But you’re not telling me what I really care about.”
Was Annie working another case? “What?”
“You. And Kyle. Josh says you might be more than friendly.”
Portia squirmed in the heated leather passenger seat, and it wasn’t from the gusts of wind that rocked the vehicle as they left the shelter of the mountain forest and hit the flat road that led into Silver Valley. “We may be. But it doesn’t matter. He’s leaving as soon as this case is solved. It’s been his plan for a lot longer than he’s been here.”
“You mean, since he’s met you.”
“Yeah, well, even that is a bit questionable. It turns out he was staking out the library for weeks before I met him. As well as the homeless shelter, can you believe it?” She shot a glance at her friend, who remained intensely focused on the road. “Of course you believe it—you’ve probably been working this, too, have
n’t you? Is this why I haven’t been able to get you out for our girls’ meet-ups quite so often?” She’d thought it had been because Annie and Josh were spending every waking minute together. And sleeping.
The rueful twist of Annie’s mouth said it all. “Yes. I wasn’t free to tell you why I was working so many hours at SVPD, not when the case was still completely confidential. Of course the details still are, but we couldn’t keep the horror of ROC out of the media.”
“I’m sure SVPD didn’t want to—the citizens who are most at risk from ROC deserve to know what you’re fighting. What we’re all fighting.”
“Yes.” Annie’s reply was loud in its quietness. “I worked with cops—when I was still on staff at NYPD—who had burned out from trying to crack various ROC factions, stop their crimes before they happened. ROC is merciless, and innocent civilians aren’t its only victims. The very people they attract and promise to take care of more often than not also become victims.”
“There’s nothing good about ROC.”
They sat in their very familiar, loving silence. She and Annie had been best friends for so long that they understood one another without question. Annie knew that Portia wasn’t blaming the criminals for the ill that befell them from ROC, and she knew that Annie wasn’t defending the criminals. They were simply laying out the facts.
She grew so comfortable in the passenger seat that she almost missed the flash of black, followed by two tiny red taillights, in the white haze of the storm. Her eyes fully opened and she gripped the dash.
“Annie, did you—”
“What do you have, Annie?” Josh’s voice filled the car. Annie had used her hands-free to phone him.
“Probable Markova sighting, route one-one-four, heading back into town. Dressed in dark clothing, riding a snowmobile going at least sixty. I’m going thirty and she flashed by us.”