After dinner, Will retreated to his room, talking to his friends on his Personal Device as he went. Unsure what to do with herself, Elsie went to her bedroom to change into the pair of silk pyjamas she had bought that afternoon and was somewhat surprised to find that Derek had already laid them out on the bed for her. In such moments, she felt a confusing sensation of gratitude mixed with the uncomfortable sense that her privacy was being invaded. She knew full well that Will resented Derek’s presence in their home, seeing him as an intrusion rather than a help. She had never admitted it to him, but there had been several occasions where she had considered dismissing Derek, feeling guilty every time he performed a household task she could easily have done herself, but she was never able to bring herself to do it. Derek had been her assistant since her very first day on the Mayfly, when she had been a struggling single mother weighed down by unimaginable greif. In those days, she had been completely useless at everything other than caring for Will, and Derek had made sure that she could focus on being a good mother to him without starving herself or the destroying the apartment in the process.
Once she had changed into her nightclothes, Elsie headed into the living room and sunk into the plush, white sofa, putting her feet on the coffee table and switching on the television. She was halfway through watching the traditional broadcast about the miracle of The Split, when her Personal Device beeped to inform her she had an incoming call. She accepted, and Alfie’s face appeared, projected in perfect definition into the air in front of her.
“Hi Els’,” he greeted her. “Sorry to call you in the evening, I would have dropped by personally but I’m still stuck at work,” he frowned, moving his head slightly to show the Mayfly’s control room in the background. “I just wanted to check that you’re coming to the Celebration Hall tomorrow for the traditional Hallowed Eve party,”
“Of course,” Elsie responded. “As soon we’ve had our breakfast we’ll come down. It’ll be nice for Will to see Lois. They’ve recently become friends, you know.”
“Have they?” Alfie asked with surprise.
“So I hear” Elsie replied.
“I haven’t had a chance to see Lois yet,” Alfie frowned. “I sent my mother to pick her up. I hope she didn’t mind.”
“I’m sure she didn’t,” Elsie said as convincingly as she could manage. “I’d better go and tell Will to get his best clothes ready for tomorrow. Try not to work all night!”
“I’ll do my best,” Alfie grinned, “Bye Els’”.
He ended the call, his face vanishing as quickly as it had appeared. Elsie swung her legs off the sofa and padded barefoot down the corridor, reaching Will’s room and knocking on the door.
“Come in,” he said quietly.
Elsie walked in to find Will sat on his bed, his Personal Device discarded by his side.
“I was just coming to let you know we’re going to Alfie’s as usual tomorrow. Do you know where your smart trousers and jacket are?” she asked him.
“Yeah,” he said dejectedly without making eye contact.
“Is everything alright, darling?” Elsie questioned him.
“I saw him,” he replied.
“Saw who?” she asked with confusion.
“Dad.”
The word pierced the air like a wailing siren.
“What do you mean, sweetheart?” Elsie asked, sitting down at his desk.
“In Mr. Krecher’s office,” he explained. “There was a photo.”
“Oh,” Elsie said, unsure how to respond. She waited for him to continue, bracing herself for the questions she knew were coming.
“Why have you never told me what really happened to him, Mum?” he demanded, his eyes bearing into her.
“He died in an accident, darling, I have told you that,” she replied, straining to keep her voice even.
“There’s more to it than that,” he shook his head. “I know there is. I’m not a child anymore Mum. I want the truth.”
There was a hardness to his expression that she had never seen before. She took a deep breath and swallowed, accepting that it was now time to engage in the conversation she had been dreading for the past thirteen years.
“After College, your father and I moved back to where he grew up. We had a small house in a little countryside village. His parents were extremely wealthy and so we managed to stay safe from the violence that was going on in most of the country. We lived in our own little world, his parents providing us security and food whenever we needed it. It almost felt like how it was before all the Wars started,” she said wistfully.
“One day I came home from getting supplies to find your father in the strangest mood. He had received a message from an anonymous sender, asking him to go back to Snowdonia, where we went to College, to meet with them. Apparently, they had ‘invaluable information’ that he would find ‘extremely useful’.
“In College, your father, Alfie and I joined this group called ‘The Society of the Enlightened,’. Essentially, they were a club that believed in what we referred to as the “Great Conspiracy”. The theory preached that The Split was evil and the Mayfly was unsafe. It’s all very embarrassing now, I know, but we were young. Towards the end of our final year, we all agreed to put the whole thing behind us, each of us realising just how childish and naive we were. Or so I thought.
“The anonymous message had re-awoken your father’s obsession with the conspiracy. He decided immediately he was going to meet the stranger who had contacted him. I begged him to stay. I was pregnant with you by then and the thought of him leaving terrified me. He wouldn’t listen, though. He was adamant that he had to go. He went and gathered enough food and supplies for three days and told me to lock all the doors. He promised he’d only be gone for 72 hours and then he left.”
Elsie paused, gathering herself together before she continued.
“After a week, I still hadn’t heard from him. I was utterly beside myself. Just when I thought I was going to lose my mind, I got a message from your father begging me to come and find him. He said he had found out the truth and discovered a way to save us. I got in the car and drove to him there and then. It took me twelve hours to make the journey. I had to take the scenic route to avoid hitting any cities or populated area where the gangs and looters had control. When I finally arrived, your father told me to meet him down on the beach we sometimes went to as students.”
Will bowed his head, sensing what was coming next.
“I went down and found him, ranting and raving like a mad man. He had stolen a ship and wanted us to go out into Space in it. I couldn’t reason with him, no matter how hard I tried. When I wouldn’t agree to his plan he gave me an ultimatum; either go with him or stay on Earth and die.”
She swallowed hard to suppress the lump in her throat.
“I said no and he got in the spaceship anyway and flew away. He had no experience in piloting a craft like that. Something went wrong and it exploded. He was killed instantly.”
She looked away, blinking furiously to stop her eyes betraying any tears. Will was silent but calm, his hard expression ebbed away by the sincerity of Elsie’s story.
“Why did you never just tell me the truth, Mum?” Will said sadly.
“I was trying to protect you,” Elsie replied. “I didn’t want you to feel the hurt and betrayal that I did. I thought it would be easier for you to have a dead father than one who abandoned you by choice.”
“I understand,” he said after a long moment’s pause. “But, I didn’t know him. He’s a stranger to me. It’s you that was really hurt by it. It was you that he let down. I could have handled the truth. It would have been better than wondering all my life why I was never allowed to mention him.”
A tear slipped from Elsie’s eye as she was wracked with guilt.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“It’s okay. You did what you thought was best,” he replied.
“When did you get to be so wise?” she asked him with a smile.
/> “I always was,” he grinned, “I just hid it well. There is one thing I don’t understand, though.”
“What’s that, darling?”
“Dad’s parents- my grandparents- you said they were wealthy. How come they’re not on the Mayfly? I thought you said it was possible to buy your way on board,” he frowned.
“That’s a question I’m afraid I can’t answer,” Elsie said apologetically. “After your father died, we lost contact. They needed someone to blame and I was an easy target, considering I was the only person there when it happened. They were convinced I could have done more to stop him. I suppose it was easier to hate me than to accept what their son did in his last moments. When I came aboard the Mayfly, I looked for them but I couldn’t find them.”
“Looks like it’s just you and me then,” Will smiled.
“That’s the way it’s always been,” she smiled back.
Drained from the heaviness of their conversation, Elsie made her excuses and left, retreating to her bedroom. She lay down on top of the covers, watching the ceiling vacantly. Thinking of Austin was never easy, and recounting the events of the worst day of her life had taken its toll. She longed for her mind to take her to one of her happy places, which often featured memories of her parents and childhood, but her brain seemed intent that she should dwell on the parts of her past she tried desperately not to think about. She fought against it, but was pulled vividly into her memories, the scenes she had tried so hard to erase now playing graphically before her eyes.
13.
The Nature of Memory
It was September 21st, 2095 and Elsie was sitting in the backseat of her Aunt Veronica’s self-driving car. Veronica was sat beside her, legs crossed, scrolling through a fashion download on her I-Reader. Elsie was chewing gum, deliberately making her Aunt jump each time she popped a bubble between her teeth.
“Do you have to do that?” her Aunt snapped after the fifth or sixth time, hunching her bony, white shoulders in irritation.
“I’m bored,” Elsie said. “I wish you had just let me drive.”
“Oh, honestly Elsie nobody drives their own cars anymore unless they’re poor,” her Aunt retorted.
“Well then, I don’t see the point of you coming with me,” Elsie argued. “The car could have driven me there then driven itself home.”
“Nonsense,” her Aunt sniffed. “I made a promise to my brother that I would take care of you and I have no intention of breaking my word now. Unfortunately for you, that means seeing you safely to College.”
“Don’t pretend you’re doing it for Dad,” Elsie said with a roll of her eyes. “You just want to see me go so you know for certain I’m not coming back.”
“Don’t be so dramatic,” her Aunt scolded her. “I know losing your parents has left you with a big chip on your shoulder but you’d do well to remember that I am the one who has provided for you for the past four years. Some gratitude wouldn’t go amiss.”
“Thank you,” Elsie smiled with as much heavy sarcasm as she could muster, “for always making sure I knew how much of a burden I was.”
“You could cheer up a bit you know,” her Aunt sighed. “You’re lucky to be going to College. Educational institutes are among the last truly safe places in this country. Plus, if you study hard enough, you might actually have a chance of being accepted for The Split.”
“You mean you might have chance,” Elsie corrected her. “I know accepted applicants get to bring their immediate family on board. That’s what this is really about isn’t it? Getting me skilled enough to get onto the Mayfly so you can escape Earth too. You’d probably miraculously stop recognising me the second your foot when through the Mayfly’s door.”
“Just try not to mess this up Elsie,” she said with exasperation, returning to her article about which fur coats made their owners appear the wealthiest.
The rest of the journey passed in silence, her Aunt tutting every so often as she read or saw something online that she disapproved of. If there was anything Aunt Veronica loved to do, it was to disapprove. Her dad had once joked to Elsie that it was her favourite hobby. In fact, he had informed her with amusement, if Aunt Veronica didn’t disapprove of you it was probably time to worry about your life choices.
Elsie was more than slightly relieved when they pulled up outside the old, decrepit building that was to be her accommodation for the academic year. An old University had existed long before College Snowdonia was built and those commissioning the project either didn’t have enough money or enough care for the thing to replace the old structures. Thus, her home for the next ten months would be a dormitory that had existed for at least fifty years. Her Aunt sniffed when she saw it, but Elsie wasn’t fazed by its run-down appearance. Anything this far away from home was beautiful to her.
“Isn’t someone going to come and take your bags?” her Aunt complained after barely a minute of being out of the car.
“It doesn’t look like it,” Elsie replied, gesturing to the small cluster of other new arrivals, whose families were carrying their bags by hand.
“Ridiculous,” Aunt Veronica muttered as she opened the boot with a snap of her fingers, revealing Elsie’s suitcases inside. Between the two of them, they hauled the cases out of the car, through the open door, across the foyer and into the rusty lift, setting them down with a heavy thud and catching their breath as they ascended to the top floor, where Elsie’s room was located.
They trundled along the corridor, cases in tow, until they found the right room and pushed the unlocked door open to enter. The space was simple and plain, stripped of all decoration and technology to make it as impersonal as it could possibly be. The furniture was shabby and consisted only of the necessities; an unsteady looking single bed, a dented wooden wardrobe and an old, grey desk that was covered in the graffiti of previous occupants. The carpet was a discoloured brown, the mirror stained with streaks of black and the small, white hand basin had grown rust, the tap dripping steadily despite being switched off.
“It’s awful,” her Aunt breathed in horror.
Elsie gazed around, imagining all the different ways she could make the room her own.
“I love it,” she grinned. Aunt Veronica stared at her like she was a madwoman but chose not to comment, the imminence of their separation supressing her argumentative streak. They both knew, without having to say it, that this parting of ways would be a permanent one, and neither party were sure how to address the situation.
“Well…” Aunt Veronica said after a minute of uncomfortable silence, “I suppose I should leave you to unpack.”
“Yes,” Elsie replied.
Aunt Veronica cleared her throat.
“Good luck, then,” she nodded and began to leave. Just before she reached the door, she turned back, wrestling with herself as she struggled to force her words out.
“They… would be proud,” she said slowly. “Your parents that is.”
“Thanks,” Elsie said, trying not to smirk at the obvious distress her Aunt felt at having to be nice to her.
Veronica flashed a thin smile and left the room. Elsie imagined her punching the air and doing cartwheels in the corridor, unable to contain herself with the joy of knowing that her duty to her dead brother was over. Now she was free to return to whatever dreary, lonely life she had had before becoming Elsie’s guardian.
The feeling of relief was mutual, and Elsie felt weightless as she began to unpack her things, placing her collection of framed photographs carefully on her desk and trying not to think about how many of the people in them were now dead. She gave the photographic version of her parents an affectionate smile. She knew Aunt Veronica had only been saying what she felt she had to, but Elsie couldn’t help but think that her parents would be extremely proud if they knew she had gotten into College. She made a promise to herself that this would be a fresh start and a chance to finally shed the pain of her childhood. Everyone her age wanted to go to College and live as they would have, had there been no W
ars and no tragedies, and for that reason she was intent on making the most of the opportunity she had been given. She knew that’s what her parents would have wanted.
A loud knocking disturbed her unpacking, and she leapt up from amongst a pile of clothes to answer, kicking socks and shoes across the room as she went. She opened the door to see two young men, not much older than her, standing with a cluster of leaflets in their hands.
“Welcome fresher!” exclaimed the one on the right, flicking his long fringe out of his face as he spoke. “My name is Dylan.”
“And I’m Toby,” his shorter-haired companion beamed.
“I’m Elsie,” she replied with amusement, feeling like she was watching a badly rehearsed double-act on a children’s television show.
“We are your student mentors,” Dylan continued. “Which basically mean we’re here to tell you about all the safest places to go drinking.”
“As well as giving you essential tips for surviving your first year,” Toby added.
“So, what are you studying here Elsie?” Dylan asked her.
“Psychology,” she answered. They raised their eyebrows.
“Unusual choice these days,” Toby noted.
“I want to be a counsellor,” Elsie explained. “I want to help the people that have suffered. People who have lost someone they care about.”
“So, everyone then?” Dylan joked. “At least you’d never be short of clients.”
“What do you two study?” Elsie asked, desperate to take the spotlight off herself.
“Navigation,” Dylan answered proudly, puffing out his chest. “I’m in my second year. I want to work in the control room on the Mayfly when it sets off. Maybe even apply for the Captaincy.”
The Split (The Mayfly Series Book 1) Page 15