by David Peace
49. BUT GRIEF AN’ PAIN (YOU’RE HAVING ME ON)
On the morning of Friday 12 July, 1974. In his office, at his desk. Peter Robinson rang around the press. And Peter Robinson said, There is a press conference at Anfield at twelve fifteen today. The board have a very special announcement to make. It is really important. It’ll make front-page news. So make sure you are there. And don’t be late.
Can you give us a hint what it might be about, asked the press.
Peter Robinson said, No. Just be there.
Is it to do with Ray Kennedy?
Peter Robinson said, No. It’s nothing to do with any transfer deal. But at this stage, I can tell you no more.
At high noon, on Friday 12 July, 1974. In the lounge, the VIP lounge at Anfield. There were forty gentlemen of the press. Notebooks and microphones, television cameras and lights. The directors of Liverpool Football Club began to file in. In silent procession, in dark suits. They sat down behind the long table at the front of the lounge. Backs to the window, black against the light. They did not smile and they did not speak. In their dark suits, in a silent line. They waited. And then Bill Shankly marched in. Bill Shankly bounced in –
Hello, boys. Hello. How are you, boys? How are you all? Have you all had a good summer, boys? Good holidays? Have we got time for a quick cup of tea, May? A quick cuppa?
May nodded. And May poured Bill Shankly a cup of tea.
Thank you, May. Thank you very much, love.
Bill Shankly took a sip of his tea. And a bite from a brownbread sandwich. And then Bill Shankly wandered over to the gentlemen of the press. Head cocked and jaw out –
The World Cup was very disappointing, wasn’t it, boys? Very disappointing. If some of the stuff played in Germany had been played here at Anfield, the teams would have been hooted off the park. Hooted off the park. And I told you all before the World Cup that Yugoslavia wouldn’t be any good, didn’t I, boys? Didn’t I now? They play for fun, not for keeps. They play cards for money and then give you back your money when they beat you. They are too sweet to be wholesome. Too sweet for this world, boys …
The gentlemen of the press all nodded. And the gentlemen of the press asked, So what do you think about Don Revie being appointed as England boss, Bill?
Jesus Christ, boys. The man is only forty-seven and he’s gone into semi-retirement …
Bill Shankly stopped. Mid-sentence. Bill Shankly glanced at his watch. Ticking, ticking. Bill Shankly turned around. Bill Shankly saw the directors of Liverpool Football Club. Behind the long table, in their dark suits. Bill Shankly put down his cup of tea. His brown-bread sandwich. And Bill Shankly walked up to the long table at the front of the lounge. Bill Shankly made his way behind the backs of the chairs of the directors of Liverpool Football Club. Bill Shankly put down his hat on the window ledge. And Bill Shankly took his seat in the middle of the line of the directors of Liverpool Football Club.
One of the television crew switched on his portable sunlight. And Bill Shankly jumped back to his feet –
Hold it a minute, boys! John Wayne has not arrived yet!
The gentlemen of the press laughed. But the directors of Liverpool Football Club did not laugh. They did not even smile. In their dark suits and in their silence. They were waiting.
Bill Shankly sat back down behind the long table. Bill Shankly turned to John Smith. And Bill Shankly nodded –
And John Smith said, It is with great regret that I, as chairman of Liverpool Football Club, have to inform you that Mr Shankly has intimated that he wishes to retire from active participation in League football. And the board has, with extreme reluctance, accepted his decision. I would like at this stage to place on record the board’s great appreciation of Mr Shankly’s magnificent achievements over the period of his managership. Meanwhile, Mr Shankly has agreed to give every assistance to the club for as long as is necessary.
There were gasps from the press –
Gasps. And then silence.
Bill Shankly looked down at the table. At his hands, at his fingers. His fingers and his nails. And Bill Shankly nodded. And then Bill Shankly looked back up –
This is not a decision that was taken quickly, said Bill Shankly. It has been in my mind over the last twelve months. But I feel it is time I had a rest from the game I’ve served for forty-three years. My wife and I both felt that we wanted to have a rest and charge up my batteries again. It was the most difficult thing in the world to make a decision like this and, when I went to see the chairman to say I was retiring, it was like walking to the electric chair. I was going to be burned up, frizzled up. But when I’ve had a rest, there are plenty of things I feel I will still be able to do in football. I don’t think it is the time to talk about them now. It will be part of my hobby. Whether I can live without it, I cannot answer now. I can only wait and see …
But there is no animosity between the chairman, the directors and me. None at all. These people kept me bartering, putting propositions in my way that possibly even Paul Getty would have taken. In the end I felt guilty, as if I was committing a crime …
But I said some time ago, I would go when I got the message to go. My wife felt it was time at the end of last season. In fact, she was quite hostile when I said no. Because my attitude was when I had finished one game, I began to prepare for the next. And when I think back now, I think I missed some of the fun out of life. Perhaps I was too dedicated. The laughs were there for the players but never away from the players. I was too serious. I lived the life of a monk. And I carried it to extremes. There is a happy medium which I should have tried to find. But my home has always been a haven. I’m only really comfortable there. It’s what every man needs. There is nothing I like more than being with my grandchildren …
My wife thought at one time I wouldn’t finish with the game until the coffin came in the house. But I think I will have years now before the coffin comes. I’m not saying the game would kill you, but being a manager is often like steering a ship through a minefield. But it’s very sad for me to break away from football. And I shall continue to live on Merseyside. We won’t move from here. The Liverpool crowd have been wonderful …
And I’ll be here on Monday to meet the players when they report back for training. And if the new man wants any help from me while he is settling in, I’ll be glad to give it. But if he doesn’t, I’ll go straight away. It will be a clean break. It will be a complete break with Liverpool Football Club. When a new man comes in, I will be out.
But I’ll still come to watch Liverpool and, when I do, I’ll probably go into the Kop. Onto the Spion Kop …
In the lounge, the VIP lounge at Anfield. There was silence, still silence, still only silence. Until finally, finally, someone asked, Do you not fancy being a director, Bill? Are you moving upstairs?
No, said Bill Shankly. Not even if they paid me.
So how would you sum up your career, Bill?
Well, I think I was the best manager in the game and I should have won more. Yeah. But I didn’t do anything in devious ways. I mean, I would fight with you. And I would break my wife’s leg if I played against her. But I wouldn’t cheat her. I wouldn’t cheat anyone.
But what about regrets then, Bill. Any regrets?
Aye. Just one. Aye. Not winning the European Cup. But it’s not about me. About the past. And about regrets. It’s about the club. About Liverpool Football Club. And the future. The future of Liverpool Football Club. Not about the man who is going. But about the men who are coming in. And there’s no doubt Ray Kennedy will do a good job for Liverpool Football Club. He is big, brave and strong. And his signing means that we now have the greatest strength in depth that we have ever had. We are so strong that you need to have a couple of international caps just to get into the reserve team. And I know Kennedy will cause plenty of trouble to defences. He fights all the way. And so he was at the very top of my list of wanted men –
So it’s been a momentous day. Yes. But his signing shows that I’m not runnin
g away. And maybe it will be said that one of the last things I did at this club was to sign a great new player …
Bill Shankly stood up now. His suit too big, his tie too tight. The shadows around his eyes darkened, the lines on his face deepened. Bill Shankly looked at the gentlemen of the press. His eyes wet, his breath short. Bill Shankly nodded. And Bill Shankly smiled –
There’ll not be many days like this, boys.
And then Bill Shankly was gone.
50. FOR PROMIS’D JOY!
In the house, in their bed. Bill opened his eyes. Bill closed his eyes. And then Bill opened his eyes again. In the dark and in the silence. Bill stared up at the ceiling. The bedroom ceiling. And Bill breathed out. Bill had been dreaming. Only dreaming. In the dark and in the silence. Bill turned to look at the clock on the table beside the bed. The alarm clock. Ticking, ticking. In the dark. Bill got out of bed. Bill shaved and Bill washed. Bill put on his shirt. Bill put on his suit. Bill put on his tie. His red tie. His Liverpool Football Club tie. Bill went down the stairs. Bill went into the kitchen. In the light and in the silence. Bill saw the cloth on the table. The cutlery and the crockery. The salt and pepper pots. The jars of honey and marmalade. The butter dish. The two glasses of fresh orange juice. And Bill smiled. In the kitchen, at the table. Bill and Ness ate breakfast. A slice of toast and honey, a glass of orange juice and a cup of tea. And then Bill helped Ness clear away the breakfast things. Bill dried up the breakfast things. Bill helped Ness put away the breakfast things. And then Bill kissed Ness on her cheek. Bill went into the hall. Bill put on his hat. Bill went out of the front door. Bill went down the drive. Bill got into the car –
And Bill went off to work.
Bill drove down the West Derby Road. And Bill saw people going into the newsagents. Buying their morning paper. Bill turned onto Belmont Road. And Bill saw people queuing at the bus stops. On their way to work. Bill turned into the car park at Anfield Road. And Bill saw the dustbin men and the postmen. Working. And Bill smiled. Bill got out of the car. Bill walked across the car park. Bill went into the ground. And into work.
Bill went down the corridor. Bill went up the stairs. Bill went into his office. Bill took off his hat. Bill hung up his hat. Bill walked around the bags of mail. The mountain of bags and bags of mail. Bill sat down behind his desk. Bill looked around his office. The filing cabinets and the shelves. The shelves of books. The books of names and the books of notes. The bags of mail. The mountain of bags and bags of mail. And Bill smiled. Bill reached into the first bag of mail on top of the mountain of bags and bags of mail. Bill took out a letter. Bill opened the letter. Bill read the letter. The letter of congratulations on winning the Cup. The letter of thanks for winning the Cup. And Bill smiled again. Bill put down the letter. Bill opened the top drawer of his desk. Bill took out a piece of paper. Bill closed the top drawer of his desk. Bill threaded the piece of paper into his typewriter. Bill turned the platen knob. And Bill began to type –
Bill began to work.
There were footsteps in the corridor now. There was a knock upon the door now. And Bill stopped typing. Bill looked up. And Bill saw Bob. Bob was standing in the doorway. Bill smiled at Bob. And Bill said, Morning, Bob. How are you today, Bob? You look a wee bit pale, Bob. Like you’ve seen a ghost, Bob. Are you all right, Bob?
Well, said Bob. I suppose I’m still in a state of shock.
Why, Bob? What’s happened? What’s wrong, Bob?
You, said Bob. Resigning. I had no idea. No idea at all.
Oh, that. Yes, well. I’ve made a decision, Bob. I’ve talked it over with Ness. And we both feel I need a rest. I mean, I’m still fit enough. I’m not ill. Don’t worry. I’m fit, but I’m tired. And so I need a rest. I need to recharge my batteries. That’s all, Bob.
But surely then there’s no need for you to resign, said Bob. To call it a day. Have you not considered just having a bit of a break? Perhaps a cruise with Ness? Get your feet up for a bit. See the world. I could look after the shop for you. Keep things ticking over. You wouldn’t have to worry. I’d keep things just the way they are. And then you could come back. Your batteries recharged, as you say. And things could go on. Just as they were. Just as they are.
No, Bob. No. I’ve made my decision. And I’m sticking to it. If you can’t make decisions in this game. If you can’t make decisions in life. Then you’re a bloody menace, Bob. A bloody menace. You’re better to go and be an MP or something.
Please, said Bob. Don’t make me beg you, Bill. Please. Don’t make me go down on my knees, Bill. But if that’s what it’ll take to make you change your mind. Then that’s what I’ll do, Bill.
No, Bob. No. I’ve said I’m retiring. And so that’s what I’m going to do. I mean, I don’t agree with the word. I hate the word! It’s the stupidest word I’ve ever heard in all my life. It should be stricken from the record, retirement. Nobody can retire! You retire when you get the coffin. And they nail down the lid. And your name is on the top. That’s retirement! No, Bob. No. But I’ve said I’m retiring from Liverpool Football Club. From Anfield. And so that is what I’m going to do. But not from football, Bob. Not from life. No.
But what about today, asked Bob. The training? The preseason? What are we going to do, Bill?
Bill laughed. And Bill said, Same as we always do, Bob. I’m still here. Nothing’s changed, Bob. I’ll be down in a minute.
Bob stared at Bill. At his desk, at his typewriter. And Bob shook his head. And Bob smiled –
Well, if you say so, Bill. Then I’ll see you downstairs. In a minute then, Bill. Downstairs …
Bill nodded. And Bill looked back down at his desk. At his typewriter, the unfinished letter. And Bill began to type again. To finish the letter, to finish his work. And then Bill looked at his watch. Bill got up from his desk. Bill picked up his bag from the floor. His kit bag. Bill walked around the bags of mail. The mountain of bags and bags of mail. And Bill went out of his office. Bill went down the corridor. Bill went down the stairs. Bill went into the changing rooms. Bill put down his bag on the bench. His kit bag. Bill took off his tie. His red tie. His Liverpool Football Club tie. And Bill took off his shoes. His suit. And his shirt. Bill put on his tracksuit bottoms. His sweater. And his boots. Bill went out of the dressing room. Bill went down the corridor. Bill went out of the ground. Into the sunlight. And Bill stood in the car park at Anfield, Liverpool. Ready for training,
ready for work.
Up at Melwood, in the pavilion. Before their training, before their work. Bill gathered together the players of Liverpool Football Club. But Bill did not look around the room. Bill did not look from player to player. From Liverpool player to Liverpool player. Bill stared into the distance. A slight shadow on the far wall. And Bill said, As you probably know, boys. As you’ve probably all heard. I had a big meeting up at Anfield on Friday. Because I have decided to retire. My time here is done, boys. And so a new man will come in. I don’t know who. And I don’t know when. But when he does, I will be gone. But I know you’ll all try as hard for him and work as hard for him as you have for me, boys. Because I could not have asked for more. And so I thank you now, boys. For all your hard work. I thank you, boys. And I wish you all the very best of luck. And every future success, boys –
For all of you and for the club …
But you can’t retire, cried Emlyn Hughes. Please, Boss. You just can’t. Please don’t, Boss …
Give it a rest, muttered someone. Pack it in, Thrush …
Bill breathed in, Bill breathed out. And Bill said, I’ve simply done enough and had enough, boys. I’ve been in this job a long time. And now I want to spend more time with my family. My grandchildren. And so I have to think about my health and my wife. But that’s enough about me, boys. That’s enough talking for one day. We’ve got a league to win, boys. A title to win –
So come on, boys. Come on –
Let’s get it going …
And Bill led the players out of the pavilion. And round the training
pitch. Bill joking, Bill laughing. Cajoling and inspiring. But running, still running, running harder, harder than ever. Then the players split into their groups. And the players lifted weights. The players skipped. The players jumped. The players did squats. The players did abdominal exercises. And the players sprinted. And Bill lifted weights. Bill skipped. Bill jumped. Bill did squats. Bill did abdominal exercises. And Bill sprinted. Bill laughing, Bill joking. Inspiring and cajoling. But sprinting, still sprinting, sprinting harder, harder than ever. And then the players passed the ball. The players dribbled with the ball. The players headed the ball. The players chipped the ball. The players controlled the ball. And the players tackled. And Bill passed the ball. Bill dribbled with the ball. Bill headed the ball. Bill chipped the ball. Bill controlled the ball. And Bill tackled. Bill joking, Bill laughing. Cajoling and inspiring. But tackling, still tackling, tackling harder, harder than ever. And the players went between the training boards. The players moving, the ball moving. Playing the ball against one board. Then taking the ball, controlling the ball. Turning with the ball, dribbling with the ball. Up to the other board. In just ten touches. Playing the ball against the other board. Then pulling the ball down, turning again and dribbling again. Back down to the first board. In just ten touches. And Bill went between the training boards. Bill moving, the ball moving. Bill playing the ball against one board. Then taking the ball, controlling the ball. Bill turning with the ball, dribbling with the ball. Up to the other board. In just ten touches. Bill playing the ball against the other board. Then pulling the ball down, turning again and dribbling again. Back down to the first board. In just ten touches. Bill laughing, Bill joking. Inspiring and cajoling. But dribbling, still dribbling, dribbling harder, harder than ever. Then the players went inside the sweat box. Ball after ball. Into the box. Every second, another ball. For one minute. Then for two minutes. Then for three minutes. Ball after ball, into the box. And Bill went into the sweat box. Ball after ball. Into the box. Every second, another ball. For one minute. Then for two minutes. Then for three minutes. Bill joking, Bill laughing. Cajoling and inspiring. But sweating, still sweating, sweating harder, harder than ever. And then the players played three-a-sides. Three-a-sides then five-a-sides. Five-a-sides then seven-a-sides. Seven-a-sides then eleven-a-sides. And Bill played three-a-sides. Three-a-sides then five-a-sides. Five-a-sides then seven-a-sides. Seven-a-sides then eleven-a-sides. Bill laughing, Bill joking. Inspiring and cajoling. But playing, still playing, playing harder, harder than ever. And then, finally, the players ran one last time around the training pitch. And Bill ran one last time around the training pitch. Bill joking, Bill laughing. Cajoling and inspiring. But running, still running, running harder, harder than ever. Until the final whistle, until the job was done. The work complete. His work.