By this time, Maureen knew better than to answer. Her own emotions were too volatile. Besides, no one listened to her anyway. They’d all made up their own minds about what was going on. She hoped all the furor would soon die down. Especially when no one saw her and Alan together again.
Wednesday came, and it was the worst day yet. She wished she’d never gotten out of bed, because seeing Alan was even harder than not seeing him.
She had finally resigned herself to his avoiding her. Now, when she closed her eyes, she no longer remembered his anger when she’d lied to him Saturday night. Instead, she pictured him stretched out nonchalantly on the bed, his hands behind his head, his eyes shut. He’d fallen asleep while she’d dressed, for God’s sake. And he hadn’t even bothered to walk her home.
So much for his little speech about there being something special between them. Her first impression of him had been right. He was a cocky, egotistical cowboy, and she was better off without him.
It was time for her to leave Wyattville. Past time. Things were closing in around her fast. The threat of Alan finding out who she was and what she’d done hung over her like a guillotine.
Yet she knew she couldn’t leave. Not yet.
The money she made at the diner barely paid their rent and living expenses. No matter how careful she was about spending, there was never very much left to put away. It would be months before she had enough saved to move to Seattle.
Then Alan waltzed into the diner, smiling and greeting everyone the way he usually did. “ ‘Morning, ladies.” He claimed his favorite stool and tossed his hat on the counter. “Great day out.”
For Maureen, the room slipped out of focus, but he obviously didn’t notice. “Abe, how’s the leg?” he asked. The conversation between him and Abe was an old one and quickly put aside.
“Hey, gorgeous.” He stopped Lynn with his usual lady-killer smile. “How about a couple of eggs, over easy, ham and lots of coffee.”
His gaze lighted on Maureen, and she wished the floor would open and swallow her. For a moment, she thought she saw a flare of warmth in his eyes, but just as quickly, she realized her mistake. He gave her the same vacuous smile he’d bestowed on Lynn, and his eyes held nothing but amusement.
“How’s Katie doing?” he asked as Lynn poured his coffee. “Did she enjoy the festival? And her new dress?”
Nodding, Maureen barely got the single word past the sudden obstruction in her throat. “Yes.”
“And you?” Was there more to his question, more in his eyes than common courtesy?
“Yes, we both enjoyed it,” she answered.
“Good.” He smiled again, but his smile was empty. He may as well have been talking to Abe or Percy. She opened her mouth to say something more, although she had no idea what, but he’d already shifted his attention elsewhere.
“By the way, Percy,” he said to the diner’s most frequent customer, “I was at Widow Cellar’s place yesterday. She wants you to come out and fix her fence.”
Lynn delivered his breakfast, and he acknowledged it with lady-killer smile number two. “Thanks, Lynn. How about some more coffee?”
He didn’t glance Maureen’s way again, so, turning aside, she tried to go back to work. But his presence pulled at her, and she could hardly keep her mind on the other customers. Instead, she was acutely aware of Alan’s every word and gesture.
Yet nothing he said or did was different from any other time he’d come into the diner. He treated her the same as he did everybody else. She stole glances at him, looking for signs, searching his face, his eyes, waiting, hoping to see some memory of the night they’d spent together.
But there was nothing.
He smiled. He talked. He teased. And then he left.
She hardly remembered the rest of the morning. She got through it somehow. And when the worst of the lunch rush was over, Lynn cornered her in the kitchen and told her in no uncertain terms to go home. Evidently, she wasn’t handling things as well as she’d thought.
Alan leaned casually against his cruiser and watched Maureen leave the diner. Glancing at his watch, he smiled. It was only a little past one—an hour earlier than usual. So he’d succeeded in rattling her enough that she’d taken off early. Pleased with himself, he resettled his hat lower on his head and pushed away from the vehicle.
Things were proceeding as planned.
Without another glance at her retreating figure, he headed down the street toward the square. He knew her routine. She’d go back to Rita’s and change. Then she’d pick up Katie and bring her down to the park—where he’d be waiting.
He’d planned to stay away from her for a week, but the last three days had been pure hell. Each morning, he set a routine for himself that kept him out of town and away from the diner. He’d checked in with every rancher and farmer within fifty miles, talking to people he hadn’t seen in a year.
On Sunday, his resolve had remained strong. The memory of the previous night’s passion lingered like a smoldering ember, while Maureen’s stubbornness twisted in his gut. He’d had no trouble calling Rita and telling her he’d have to skip dinner.
On Monday, his memories had shifted. He remembered sensations, things that warmed his blood, like the feel of satiny skin beneath his fingers and the taste of honey-sweet lips. He checked his watch hourly, each time making mental calculations on how long it would take to get back to town—just in case he wanted to stop by the diner for a quick lunch. Somehow, he’d managed to stay away.
On Tuesday, he’d known he couldn’t stay away much longer. He kept himself out of town during the day by deciding to stop by Rita’s that evening. She was always eager to feed him, and both she and Katie would act as a buffer. That’s when he’d gotten the idea of running into Maureen and Katie at the playground the next day, and he’d been able to keep himself away for another night.
Then he’d walked into the diner this morning and almost lost his resolve. She’d looked so fragile, with her pale skin and soft blue eyes. He’d wanted nothing more than to go to her and pull her into his arms. But he’d kept his distance, somehow managing to follow through with his charade.
Arriving at the park, he skirted the playground and headed down the path leading in the other direction. No need for Maureen to see him waiting. After they arrived, he’d wander over as if he were just passing by. He knew that wouldn’t fool her, but that was okay. It was the element of surprise he was after.
Thirty minutes later, it was Katie who spotted him as he approached the playground. She was on the swings, while Maureen sat on a nearby bench with her back to him.
“Uncle Alan!” She was off the swing and in his arms before Maureen had a chance to stand up and turn around.
“How’s my princess?” To his surprise, he realized that he’d missed her almost as much as he’d missed her mother.
“Where were you?” Katie asked.
Laughing, he walked over to Maureen and sat down on the bench she’d just deserted. “Sorry, sweetheart. I had to work Sunday.”
“But you promised.”
Smiling, he tapped the little girl lightly on the nose with his finger. “So I did. I guess I’ll just have to make it up to you next Sunday.”
“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.” Maureen’s words brought his head up abruptly, and his gaze locked with hers. In her eyes, he saw a reflection of his own sleepless nights. If he’d had any doubts about her sharing the hell he’d lived through these last three days, they dissolved in that moment. Her eyes held pain and longing similar to the pain he’d seen in them on the day they’d driven to Seattle. Only this time, he knew he’d caused it.
Again, he resisted the urge to wrap her in his arms and tell her everything would be all right. He knew she wouldn’t allow it, nor would she believe it. Instead, he settled Katie on his lap while wondering what to say to her mother.
“You look tired.” He motioned toward the bench where he and Katie sat. “Come on. Sit down.”
She
stiffened at his invitation, and he had to smile. She was as skittish as a new colt. He wondered what she thought he’d do in the middle of the park, in broad daylight, with Katie sitting between them.
“Don’t worry.” He tried without success to keep the teasing out of his voice. “Katie’s here to chaperon.”
Irritation sparked in those great blue eyes of hers, and he knew his words had hit home. “I hardly think a chaperone is necessary.”
His smile broadened. “Don’t you?”
A hot flush of color rose to her cheeks. He thought how beautiful she was when aggravated. He liked the fire in her eyes almost as much as the way they danced with laughter or became bright with passion.
“No,” she said, her voice laced with sarcasm. “I think I can restrain myself.” As if to prove her point, she joined them on the bench. “If you can.”
Alan laughed aloud. She was so damn stubborn. It drove him crazy. At the same time, it was one of the things he liked best about her.
“Well,” he said, thinking he might just break through that stubborn streak of hers, “I’m just not sure about that, sweet thing.” He smiled as his eyes raked over the most intimate parts of her. “You see, you’re just about the hottest—I mean the best—thing to come into Wyattville in a long time.”
“Why, you—”
“Truth hurt?”
Her anger nearly scorched him, but he reveled in it. He wanted to throw her off guard, to see her respond, make her scream, curse him, anything. Maybe then he could get the truth out of her. She looked ready to slap him. Then, just as quickly, she reined in her anger.
Alan shook his head and shifted his attention back to the little girl on his lap. “So, did you miss me?”
“Uh-huh.” Katie nodded and gave him a hug that tied knots in his heart.
“How about your mom?” He threw a sideways glance at Maureen. “Did she miss me, too?”
Maureen met his gaze without flinching. “I meant what I said about not making promises to Katie.”
“I know you did.” He paused, holding her with his eyes, willing her to understand his words. “And I meant everything I said.” Without waiting for a reply, he turned back to Katie. “Come on, princess. I’ll push.” Lowering the little girl to the ground, he followed her over to the swings. “How high?”
“Way high.”
Maureen watched them go, desire and anger warring within her. The man had no scruples. First, he threw their passion in her face, and then he used her daughter to get to her. He stood behind Katie’s swing, pushing her just high enough to keep her satisfied.
Katie laughed and called to her mother while urging Alan to push higher. Maureen smiled and waved at her daughter, though both gestures were forced.
She felt the urge to slap him—almost as strongly as she wanted to feel his lips on hers again. Shaking both feelings, she forced her thoughts down less dangerous paths. Like how she was going to deal with him. If only Katie hadn’t taken to him, she might have been able to ignore her own feelings. But Katie adored him, and it tore at her heart.
Glancing at the two of them at the swings, Maureen saw how he watched her. Even at a distance, the hunger in his eyes reached her.
I want you.
She heard the words as if he’d spoken them, and the most feminine parts of her stirred in response. For the briefest of moments, she gave herself over to its warmth. Then Katie giggled, and Maureen pulled her gaze away, forcing herself to deny her body’s response to his silent plea.
Silence hung around them for long minutes. Maureen didn’t dare look at him, but pretended instead to concentrate on something at the other end of the park.
“Okay, princess.” His voice, ripe with frustration, sliced through the air. “That’s it for today. I need to get back to work.”
Katie started to protest, but stopped when he pulled her off the swing to give her a hug.
“I’ll see you on Sunday,” he said. Then, setting her back on the ground, he nodded to Maureen.
She met his gaze again briefly. His eyes had turned hard and brittle, his anger stabbing her like a knife in her heart. She started to reach out to him, but stopped herself. Instead, she gathered Katie into her arms and held her tight, as if the child could protect her from her own desires.
“See you around,” he said, and started to leave.
Suddenly, she couldn’t let him go. Not like this. “Alan.”
Her voice stopped him. As he faced her, she let herself be drawn by his eyes again, and for a few moments, she forgot all the reasons she couldn’t have him. His eyes brought back memories of their time together, and all the unchecked emotions of that night swirled about her. Their wild abandon by the river. The sweet seductive lure of him as he asked her to go home with him. Her own driving desire to have one night with him. His anger when she’d lied. She longed to go to him and curl into his arms. He would protect her and Katie. Surely, when emotions ran so strong, nothing could stand in their way.
“Yes?” His one word broke the spell, bringing her back to the real world.
Closing her eyes for a moment, she took a deep breath. She couldn’t go to him. If he knew who she was, what she’d done, what would he think? Now that he had become fond of Katie, perhaps he would understand. Possibly everything would be all right if she just told the truth. But she couldn’t take the chance. He might not understand, he might despise her, and she didn’t know if she could live with that.
“I’m sorry,” she said, thinking she had never spoken truer words. Looking deep into his eyes, she willed him to understand, to know that she regretted having to turn away from him more than anything in her life. But he just stood there, without a word, and she knew he expected her to say more. And she owed it to him.
“The way I’ve been acting, and what I said Saturday night …” She hesitated, pulling her gaze from his long enough to set Katie on the ground. “You were right. I lied.”
“I know.”
“Yes, I imagine you do.” She raised her eyes back to his, knowing she needed to face this head-on. She owed it to both of them. He started to move toward her but stopped when she took a step back.
“What are you afraid of?” he asked.
“I’m not afraid.” She glanced away, and then with an effort met his gaze once again. “No, that’s not true. I am afraid. This isn’t what I want. It’s just not right for us now. Not for Katie or me.”
“But?”
“I want you to leave us alone. Please.”
Alan sighed. Removing his hat, he shoved a hand through his hair and half turned to stare off into the distance. Maureen held her breath, unsure what she would do if he pushed any harder. If he took another step toward her, or touched her, would she be able to resist?
“Sorry,” he finally said. “I can’t do it. Not this time.” Looking back at her, he resettled his hat on his head. “You see, this isn’t exactly what I wanted, either. But it happened. And I have no intention of leaving you alone.”
A flood of emotions rushed through her, and she sat down to try to pull herself together. She couldn’t speak, because she wasn’t sure whether it was fear or relief coiling relentlessly within her stomach. Either way, she just stared at him.
“In fact, I plan to spend a lot of time with you and that little girl of yours.” He grinned that cocky, little-boy grin of his, and her heart melted. “So you may as well get used to the idea.”
He tipped his hat and waved to Katie, who had made her way back to the swings. “See you, princess.” Then he was gone, walking away casually, not realizing he had just handed Maureen a jail sentence.
She watched him go and understood that it was her heart, and not Alan, that would betray her. She knew now that it was relief that she felt. And Alan had known it, too. If she’d truly wanted him to walk out of her life, he would have gone.
Fate had played a cruel trick on her. She wanted more than friendship from Alan. She felt more than friendship for him. And it was those feelings that ha
d betrayed her.
It had just been a matter of time.
As spring drifted into summer, the weather turned warmer, and Alan remained true to his word. He spent all his free time with Katie and Maureen. There were no more passion-filled moments like the night of the Apple Blossom Festival, but neither were there any empty days like the three that had followed.
He gave them the grand tour of the surrounding countryside. They drove east, out of the Cascade Mountains and into eastern Washington, where they explored apple orchards. A little farther north and back into the foothills, they swam in the cool blue waters of Lake Chelan. And they hiked. With Katie mounted on Alan’s shoulders, it became their favorite activity. He showed them the splendor of the high mountains of the North Cascades Highway, where they picnicked within sight of the majestic Liberty Bell Mountain.
He ate lunch at the diner and dinner at Rita’s, where he turned dull, weekday nights into warmth-filled evenings. He spent time at the playground, pushing Katie on the swings while entertaining Maureen with humorous stories about small-town life. He made her laugh, he made her yearn, and he made her want him.
Fighting her desire became a losing battle. It was her own heart she warred against. She couldn’t help it if she enjoyed every moment she spent in his company, or if she lay awake at night remembering the way it had felt to be in his arms. He was male and exciting, and the very air around him reverberated with life.
Occasionally, she reminded herself that she and Katie would soon be leaving Wyattville, but those moments came less and less frequently. More often, she wondered when he would touch her again. Not the friendly, warm touches he constantly bestowed on them, but the hot, passionate caresses they’d shared the night of the Apple Blossom Festival.
At the same time, she became closer to Tommy Simmons. A couple of weeks after the festival, she ran into him at his school. She and Katie had gone out walking, enjoying the late spring afternoon. Without planning to, they ended up at Wyattville’s Middle School just as it let out for the day.
Swarms of preteens milled about the school yard, talking in groups or waiting to board buses. She hadn’t realized that there were so many children in the surrounding mountains who attended school in Wyattville.
Keeping Katie (A Mother's Heart Book 1) Page 14