“We’ll see,” she finally managed to say. Struggling to her feet, she met Rita’s gaze. What am I going to do?
“Come on, Katie,” Rita said, moving to Katie and lifting her from the piano bench. “Let’s take a short nap.”
Katie protested, but Maura barely heard as Rita ushered the child out of the room and up the stairs.
When Rita came back, she sat next to Maura and took her hand. “I saw the suitcase.”
Maura turned and met the other woman’s gaze, unable to say anything. It was over. She couldn’t run anymore. But she couldn’t stay, either.
“You’re leaving,” Rita said.
Maura nodded.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Rita’s voice was gentle, concerned. “Maybe I can help.”
Maura shook her head, but Rita ignored it. “Maureen, you can’t just keep running away. Now tell me. Is this about Alan?”
Maura burst into tears, and Rita instantly wrapped her arms around her, rocking her the way she so often rocked Katie.
It was some time before Maura could speak. But when she did, the story stumbled from her lips. She couldn’t look at Rita, but she didn’t hold anything back, either. She needed to tell everything, to rid herself of the poison that had been growing in her since the night she’d fled with Katie. She needed to cleanse herself of the lies. She needed everything to be out in the open.
When she finished, Rita handed her tissues and squeezed her hand. “Do you feel better now?”
Maura nodded and forced herself to meet the older woman’s gaze. What she saw surprised and warmed her. Rita looked at her with compassion and love.
“Tell me, Maura,” she asked, “how could this happen? If you and your husband legally adopted Katie, why is there any question about custody?”
Maura rested her head against the back of the couch and sighed. “It’s because of Katie’s grandparents. They didn’t know about Katie until very recently. Evidently, they were out of the country when she was born, and their daughter never told them about her pregnancy. Until now. They claim she was too young to make a decision like that, and the state should never have allowed it.”
“But can they get away with that?”
“They’re very wealthy and influential.” Maura turned her head and looked at Rita. “The court seemed very impressed with the fact that they could offer Katie much more than a single working mother.”
“It just doesn’t seem fair.”
“No. It doesn’t.” Maura closed her eyes, and silence fell between them for a few moments. Then, taking a deep breath, she added, “But there’s something else, as well. Something that makes their case even stronger.
“The lawyer who handled the adoption has been indicted for bribing officials and paying off expectant mothers.” Her voice broke, but she steeled herself and went on. “And there’s evidence that David, my husband, knew about it.”
“Oh dear.”
“So there’s not only the question of whether Katie’s grandparents are entitled to custody, but of whether the adoption was ever legal to begin with.”
“Was your husband involved?” Rita asked gently.
Maura closed her eyes and sighed. “I don’t know. It’s possible. He wasn’t very strong. And I wanted a baby so much. He could have …” She let her voice trail off, and then turned to look at the other woman. “But I swear I had no idea.” Neither spoke for a few moments, then Maura added, “I’m so sorry, Rita.”
“For what?” Rita smiled sadly and reached up to brush a strand of hair away from Maura’s cheek. “For bringing a little sunshine into this old house? For bringing friendship to a lonely little boy? Or for bringing love into my nephew’s heart?”
“He doesn’t love me.”
“Of course he loves you. Why do you think he’s so angry?”
Maura shook her head. Of all her regrets, this was the greatest. “Even if he felt something for me, it’s gone now. I lied to him.”
“Yes. And when someone you love lies to you, it’s painful.” Rita took her hand again. “Right now, he’s hurting. He’ll get past it.”
Maura shook her head again. “I never meant to hurt him. I love him.”
“I know.” Rita squeezed her hand and smiled softly. “Did you tell him?”
“No.” Maura looked down at her hands. “I couldn’t.”
“Why?”
Maura sighed. “We’re so different. What I did, defying the law … he never would have done it.”
“Are you so sure?”
Maura met her friend’s gaze again, suddenly unsure in the face of this woman who knew Alan so well. “Maybe if I’d told him the truth sooner …”
“He’s had a shock, dear. Give him a chance to get over it.”
Maura looked away and considered Rita’s words. Would Alan come to understand what she’d done? Would he forgive her? Her heart soared at the possibility. Then she remembered the look on his face when he’d stormed out of the house. There had been more than anger and pain, there had been contempt. He hadn’t even wanted her to touch him.
No, this wasn’t something he would get over.
“It’s too late,” she said finally. She rose from the couch and moved away, putting distance between herself and Rita’s silent pleas.
Rita started to say something else but stopped. Instead, for several long moments, she let silence settle between them. Then she asked, “What are you going to do now?”
“Katie deserves a home.” Maura hesitated, and then added, “I have to take her back to Miami.”
Hours later, Alan returned to town. Still unsure what to do, he drove back by Rita’s. It was after dark, and the lights were on inside the house. He stopped for a moment and sat staring at the windows, at the silhouettes behind the drapes.
What was she thinking in there? What was she doing?
He considered going in. He wanted to talk to her, to tell her he loved her. But he couldn’t. Not yet. He wasn’t ready. His pain and anger hovered too close to the surface. He might say or do something he would regret later. So he started the car and headed downtown.
At the station, he went directly to his office, pausing only long enough to tell Ned he wasn’t to be disturbed. Inside, he closed his door and, not bothering to turn on the lights, collapsed in the chair behind his desk. Resting his head on his arms, he tried shutting down his thoughts and letting his mind drift.
He loved her.
Despite everything that had happened, despite everything he had learned about her, he loved her. Over the last few months, she had crept into his life … and into his heart.
The ironic part was that the traits that made him love her, her strength and will, were the very things that would take her away from him. How many people would have had the courage to do what she had done, to give up everything to protect someone they loved? He couldn’t help but admire her, even while he condemned her actions.
“Sheriff—”
Alan lifted his head to see Ned standing in the doorway. “I told you I didn’t want to be disturbed.”
“I know, Sheriff.” Ned fidgeted. “Bud Simmons is out front. He said it was important.”
Alan straightened in his chair. “Is Tommy all right?”
“Yes, sir. It’s just Bud. He’s being pretty insistent.”
Alan hesitated, not knowing if he was up to dealing with Simmons tonight. But did he have a choice? “Okay,” he finally said. “Send him in.”
Bud surprised him. For some reason, Alan hadn’t expected him to walk in as his usual surly self, although a contrite Bud Simmons, hat in hand, was probably too much to ask for.
“What can I do for you, Bud?”
The big man glanced around at the dark office. “Got problems with the lights? Didn’t you pay your electric bill?”
Alan sighed and shook his head. “It’s been a long day, Bud. Why don’t you state your business and be done with it?”
Bud glanced away and then walked over to stare out the window. Fo
r a long time, he said nothing, then in a flat voice he stated, “You know about the hunting.”
“Yes,” Alan answered, somewhat surprised that Bud would bring up the subject. “I know about it.”
“So.” He paused. “What are you gonna do about it?”
Alan leaned back in his chair, crossing one long leg over the other. To be honest, he hadn’t really thought much about Bud and his illegal hunting activities since … since Friday night. His mind had been so tied up with Maura, he’d hardily given Bud a second thought.
So, what was he going to do about it? Arrest him? And then what? What about Joey, and Tommy lying hurt in the hospital? Hell, he just didn’t know what was right anymore.
“Well, Bud,” he finally answered, in a voice sounding weary even to his own ears, “I guess it all depends on what you plan to do about it.”
Bud didn’t say anything at first, but just stood there, his eyes focused on the dark street beyond the plate glass window.
“If I told you it’ll stop, would you believe me?” Bud asked.
“I might.”
Bud turned and met Alan’s gaze, and for the briefest moment, Alan thought he saw a silent plea in the other man’s eyes. Then they turned hard and indifferent again. “Well,” Bud said, “you let me know what you decide.”
“Yeah. I’ll do that.”
He thought Bud would leave then. He wanted the quiet, dark office returned to him. But Bud stayed put, turning back to the window.
Alan sighed. “I’m not going to arrest you, Bud.”
Bud didn’t seem to hear him. Instead, he asked, “Did you really go to Seattle, like you said, and check out that place?”
“You mean the alcohol rehabilitation center?” Two surprises from Bud Simmons in one night were almost more than Alan could handle.
Bud kept his back to him. “Yeah.”
“Yes, I did.”
Alan uncrossed his legs and came forward in his chair, wondering at the workings of fate. He’d mentioned the center to Bud the day he and Maura had driven to Seattle. Bud had grown angry at Alan’s suggestion. Could some good come from Tommy’s injury? “Do you want the information I picked up?”
Bud hesitated, and Alan sensed the battle raging within the other man. This was probably one of the hardest things he’d ever faced. Alan pulled a large envelope out of a drawer and tossed it on the desk. “You’re welcome to it.”
“Well, I thought I’d check it out.” Bud shrugged and turned, picking up the packet. “That is, after Tommy gets out of the hospital.”
Alan hesitated, carefully weighing his next words. “You got two fine boys there, Bud.”
Bud met his gaze for a moment and nodded. Then he slipped the envelope into an inside pocket of his jacket and without another word, left the office.
Once Bud had left, Alan sat staring at the closed door. Suddenly, he knew what he had to do. Grabbing his hat, he headed for the door.
It was a long, quiet drive to Seattle.
Katie had cried when Maura told her they were going back to Miami. She didn’t want to leave. It tore at Maura’s already shredded heart to see Katie so upset, but there was nothing to be done about it. Her only comfort was in knowing that, this time, she was doing the right thing. The motion of the car finally soothed Katie, and she settled down and fell asleep on her mother’s lap.
Silence permeated the night.
Maura felt talked out. Everything that needed to be said had been discussed back at the house. The hour after she’d cried on Rita’s shoulder had gone quickly. Then, before they’d left, she had called her father. The conversation had been strained at best.
It was after midnight in Chicago, but her father had been wide-awake. “Yes,” he answered in his usual cool voice.
“Father,” she said tentatively, reverting to the formal address she used whenever she felt unsure of his reaction.
There was a pause on the other end of the line, and for a moment, Maura thought he would hang up. She was just about to say something, apologize, tell him she’d gotten his note, anything to keep him on the phone, when he spoke. “Maura?”
Tears of relief flooded her eyes. “Yes. It’s me.”
“Thank God.” If she hadn’t known her father so well, she would have sworn she heard emotion in his voice. “Where are you?”
“I’m in Wyattville.” Funny how quickly she’d come to accept his knowledge of her location. “I need your help.”
“Yes. I know. But you have to turn yourself in.”
“That’s why I called.” She hesitated, knowing once she said the words there would be no turning back. “I’m going back to Miami.”
She heard his sigh across the miles. “That’s good. I’ll meet you there. No guarantees, but I think I can help you. You’ve been charged with contempt of court. But if you turn yourself in—”
“Contempt of court? Not kidnapping?”
“No. You’re Katie’s legal guardian, and the charges against David have been unsubstantiated. However …” He paused, and Maura felt the room closing in around her. “You’re probably going to lose the child.”
Maura bit her lip to hold back her tears. She knew this. She had known it all along. She’d sat in that courtroom all those months ago and listened to the allegations against her husband and the lawyer he had used to adopt Katie. When she’d heard that the lawyer had been indicted, she had known they would take Katie away from her. That’s why she’d run.
Now, even with her father’s help, she knew it was a lost cause. If she returned to Miami, she would lose her daughter. Yet Maura also knew she had to go back so that Katie could win. So that she would have a chance at a normal life.
“Yes,” she finally said. “I know.”
After that, her father’s demeanor returned to the polished efficiency she was used to. Maura listened numbly. If she could get to the Seattle airport, he would arrange to have tickets waiting for her and Katie. Someone would meet them in Miami, and he would have a place for them to stay.
Rita had agreed to drive them to Seattle, but begged Maura to wait for Alan. But she couldn’t face him. So she’d left him a note, even though it had nearly killed her to write it. She had wanted to say so much, to tell him she loved him and that she was sorry for hurting him. She longed to say so many things, to talk of all he had given her, all he had taught her. But in the end, she’d been unable to say anything except that she was sorry and that she was going back to Miami.
Now there was nothing left but the long dark road to Seattle and the airport waiting at the other end. Then there would be Miami, and the people who would take Katie away from her.
When they arrived at the airport, Maura suggested that Rita drop them off and head home, but she refused. Instead, she parked her car and walked them in, helping with Katie as Maura got their tickets and checked their single bag. Even then, Rita refused to leave. Knowing that she wouldn’t leave until their flight departed, Maura found a small sitting area outside security where Rita could wait with them until closer to their departure time.
She held Katie while Maura rested her tear-stained eyes. Even though she’d suggested that Rita go home, she was grateful for the other woman’s presence. She wasn’t sure if she would have been able to go through with this without Rita’s quiet support.
In Miami, she would have her father with her, and for once, she felt grateful for the strength she knew he would provide. But it wouldn’t be enough. She wondered if anything would ever be enough again. Her days stretched before her like a deep, desolate pit where no sun dared reach. Without Alan, without Katie, Maura might as well be left alone at its bottom without even a candle to light her way.
When Rita touched her arm, she turned and forced a weary smile for the other woman. Rita smiled back and gestured for Maura to look up. When she did, her breath caught in her throat. Alan stood across the waiting area, holding an oversize pink elephant.
“I think I’ll take Katie to the ladies’ room,” Rita said, standin
g with the sleeping child in her arms. “We’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Nervously, Maura stood and glanced at Rita, who smiled and said, “It will be okay, Maura. Talk to him.”
When she looked back at Alan, he walked toward her, stopping just out of reach. She studied his face. There was sadness and longing there, and something else she couldn’t read.
“You forgot something,” he said, depositing the elephant in the chair next to Maura. “You’re going back to Miami.” Something large lodged in Maura’s throat, blocking her attempt to speak. She nodded.
“Do they know you’re coming?”
“I called my father,” she answered in a voice that only vaguely resembled her own. “He’s going to meet us. I … suppose he’ll notify the authorities.”
Alan shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and took a deep breath. “You should have said goodbye.”
“I thought …” Her voice broke, but she gathered herself together. “I thought everything had been said.”
He looked at her then, and she saw the pain she had caused fill his eyes. “Not everything.”
“I left you a note.”
“Yes.” He sighed and let his gaze drift to the floor in front of him. “A note.”
“I’m sorry, Alan. I didn’t think you’d want to see me again. I didn’t think it mattered.”
He lifted his eyes back to her. “It matters.”
For a moment, the world stopped. All she could see, all she knew, was this man standing in front of her. His eyes, filled with longing, captured her, making her want nothing more than to crawl into his arms and stay there forever.
“I love you,” he said. The three words, spoken quietly in a crowded airport, brought fresh tears to her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she said again. She wished things were different. That they’d met some other time, some other place. Again, she fought the desire to step into his arms and take what comfort he would offer.
Keeping Katie (A Mother's Heart Book 1) Page 21