“So do it,” I whispered back. His lips brushed mine slightly before covering my lips fully and kissing me so hard that I thought I wouldn’t be able to breathe ever again. I was just about to wrap my arms around his neck when he pulled back and winked at me.
“Wait here.”
A thrill ran down my spine in anticipation. I wondered what he would bring back with him. Would it be whipped cream? Maybe sex toys. He didn’t really seem like the type, but he had access to them through the women that had opened their own shop. But when he walked back into the room, he was carrying papers. He handed them to me and I looked at him funny. He just nodded to the paperwork.
Rules for Sexual Encounters:
“You were serious? You actually have a rulebook?”
“I don’t joke around about shit like this. I think it’s best for both of us to go in with guidelines laid out about what we want out of this. This is for the occasional fuck. If we decide to take it beyond that, I have a revised version of this.”
I looked down at the paper and read through the rules that he laid out.
1. Condoms will be used during all sexual encounters, regardless of the fact that the woman may be on birth control. No exceptions.
2. The woman does not have bed rights after sexual encounters and will leave within ten minutes of sexual encounter ending.
“You kick your women out of bed ten minutes after you finish fucking them?”
“What’s wrong with that? We both got what we wanted. There’s no point in dragging it out. That just confuses the situation. Besides, I work early in the morning. I need my sleep.”
“Right, and a half hour would make all the difference in the world,” I said sarcastically.
“Are you telling me that you’ve never screwed someone and then wondered why the hell they were hanging around?”
“Well, no. I mean, of course there are times that you just want the other person to leave. It’s just that it’s hard to kick someone out.”
“That’s why they agree to this. If I want her to stick around, I’ll ask her to. But by doing this, I’ve eliminated the awkwardness of the goodbye.”
“No, you’ve eliminated having to ask her to leave. If anything, the goodbye is going to be even more fucking awkward because you’re putting such tight time constraints on her leaving.”
He shrugged. “It gets the job done.”
This guy had some serious issues that I didn’t even want to get into. I looked back at the paper and continued reading.
3. The woman does not have washing rights after sexual encounters.
“What the hell are washing rights? Like, I’m not allowed to clean up afterwards?”
“You are, just not with me. I will not be washing you in any way. I won’t bring you a washcloth or wipe you down like they do in those stupid romance novels.”
“And you read many of those?”
“No, but some of the women do. Believe me, I’ve been informed what men in those novels do, and they aren’t men. Bunch of pussies.”
“Okay, so, no washing rights. Got it.”
4. If asked to stay longer, the woman does not automatically gain bed rights, washing rights, coffee rights, or house rights.
“Okay, this may seem like a stupid question, but what are coffee rights and house rights?”
“Well, that part needs some adjustment since we’re living together. Basically, it means that if I do ask you to stay the night, you don’t automatically get to help yourself to coffee in the morning. Nor do you get to wander around my house and look at all my shit.”
“Wow,” I said, not wanting to touch that with a ten foot pole.
“Hey, I just like there to be boundaries.”
I nodded, not sure what else to say to that. I was all about keeping some boundaries, but this was taking it just a little far.
“So, is this all there is?”
“Well…” he cleared his throat uncomfortably. “I have another one. Like I said, if this goes further than fucking a few times, there are…guidelines I’ve set up to keep you- I mean, any potential dates on track with where I’m at. And then I’ll have one made up for you on what I expect while you’re living here.”
My eyes practically bugged out of my head. “You have a rule book for while I’m living here?”
“Well, I will. I mean, this is my house, and since this was pushed upon me, you’d better fucking believe that there’ll be rules.”
I slapped the paper down on the coffee table. “Fine. Do I need to sign this or something?”
He rolled his eyes. “I think that’s taking this a little far.”
“Sure, because you making up a fucking rule book isn’t far at all.”
“So,” he grinned at me. “Should we head to the boudoir?”
I stood slowly, running my hand up his chest as I moved into his space. Leaning in close, I nipped at his ear. “Not a fucking chance in hell.” I brought up my knee hard, but he shifted at the last moment. Still, I knew I connected just a little. “You should remember who you’re fucking with.”
I walked out of the room and headed for the room he designated for me at the end of the hall. If he thought that I was going to fuck him after that ridiculous rule book and the one to come, he had another thing coming. I brought my vibrator and I would be fine.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Rocco
I walked into work the next day, still trying to figure out what the fuck happened last night with Brooke. It didn’t make any sense. She seemed to understand that I had rules and boundaries that needed to be followed. But then she tried to knee me in the balls. I was missing something, but I didn’t know what it was.
“How’s the roomie?” Ice asked as I walked into the conference room.
“Fucking sucks,” I said, flopping down into the chair. “I can’t believe Cap sprung that on me.”
“Well, you kind of did it to yourself. Just like me,” he grinned. “See, I knew we weren’t that different.”
“How do you figure I did this to myself? I didn’t even know they were going to ask for house arrest. We came home and Cap just offered me up.”
“Yeah, but you allowed her to ‘kidnap’ you. If you hadn’t done that, you wouldn’t be in this mess. Just like if I hadn’t kidnapped Lindsey and then offered her a place to stay, I wouldn’t have ended up with a roommate either.”
“That’s…not anything like what happened to me.”
He leaned forward, putting on his serious face. “Look, the thing is, you slept with this woman and allowed her to take over your life. You’re fucking stuck now, so instead of letting it drag you down, take advantage of the situation. Besides, we all know how this ends.”
“Yeah, with her leaving at the end of the year.”
“No, it ends with her as your wife.”
I snorted and then burst out laughing. “Why the fuck would I marry Brooke? She’s fucking psycho.”
“Yeah, and let me tell you, the feisty ones are the best. Don’t worry. You’re gonna love it.”
“I’m not gonna love it because it’s not gonna happen. And do you know why I know it’s not gonna happen?” He shook his head slightly. “Two reasons. First, she doesn’t like kids. At all. She almost threw up when Evie sneezed last night at the table and sauce went flying. I think that pretty much seals our fate. But if that’s not enough, I showed her my rulebook last night and almost ended up with blue balls for it. If she can’t follow simple rules that I’ve laid out for her, then there’s no hope for us.”
He nodded slightly. “Are you finished?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. Forget all that shit. Nothing you said is a problem.”
“But Evie-”
He held up his hand to silence me. “You’re living with this woman. I can guarantee that she’s going to fall in love with Evie. Oh, she’s gonna try and hold out. She’ll put up all kinds of walls to keep that little girl out. But Evie will win in the end. She’s just too fucking cute. As for th
e rule book…” He rolled his eyes at me. “Seriously, I can’t believe you thought that would actually work. Do you know how much shit I tried with Lindsey? None of it worked. Women worm their way into your space and take over. There’s no stopping it.”
“So, you’re saying I should just shred my rulebook and let her take control.”
“Hell no. You have to fight for whatever you can get, but the inevitable is coming and the fact that you can’t see that is just fucking hilarious.”
“You know, not every woman that one of us meets is going to be the one.”
He shook his head with a chuckle. “You’re so fucking cute.”
“Why does everyone keep calling me cute? I’m not fucking cute. I’m manly and muscled. Kittens are cute. I’m a fucking tiger.”
“Which is still a cat and some would even say it was a kitten at one point.”
“You know, I really fucking hate you. I wish I could have known the Ice that wasn’t all pussy-whipped and shit. He would have been a good guy to talk to.”
“Hey, I’m still me.”
“Right.”
“I am.”
“Sure. I bet Lindsey didn’t change you at all.”
“She didn’t. I mean, she did in the sense that I love her and want her, but she didn’t change anything about me.”
“Mhmm. Yep, I totally believe you.”
He stood, getting into his most domineering stance. His eyes turned cold and he became the man that went out in the field. “I didn’t change a fucking thing about myself, and I’ll fucking prove it to you.”
He pulled out his phone and called someone, probably Lindsey. I chuckled to myself, thinking about what was about to happen. I was pretty sure that he was about to get his ass kicked over the phone, which was just fucking embarrassing that a woman could do that to him when she wasn’t even in the same room.
“Lindsey, I want my fucking dinner on the table tonight at 5:30. And don’t make any of that girly shit you like. I want manly food. Steak and potatoes…No, I don’t want any fucking sour cream in the potatoes. Just potatoes with milk and butter. Maybe some salt and pepper…Fine, I’ll eat the asparagus…And the rolls…But no fucking pie. You can’t make me eat that shit...”
His eyes flicked to mine and then he turned slightly murmuring into the phone like I couldn’t fucking hear him.
“Please,” he whispered. “I love you too, Princess. Now, get your ass to the store and get me my man food.” He hung up and smirked at me, sitting back down and kicking his feet up on the table. “See? You just have to lay down the law.”
“Yeah, you really fucking laid down the law.”
“I did.”
I snorted just as Chris walked into the room. “Hey, man. How’s it going?”
“Ice just laid down the law with Lindsey.”
Chris snorted out a laugh. “Sure.”
“I did. Fucking ask him,” he pointed to me. “I did, right here in front of Rocco. Just fucking ask him.”
Chris turned to me. “Oh, he fucking did it,” I said mockingly. “Please,” I mock pleaded. “I love you, Princess.”
“Shut the fuck up. Just because I laid down the law doesn’t mean that I have to be disrespectful. I’m not a fucking Neanderthal.”
“Yes, you are,” Chris said. “You’re the worst of them all. No wonder Lindsey had to completely disinfect your house when she moved in. You were living like a fucking homeless person in a cabin.”
“You know, you’re supposed to be on my side.”
“Right,” Chris smirked. “The man that needs to prove to another man that he can still lay down the law.”
“Who can still lay down the law?” Hunter asked.
“Ice,” I answered. “He’s trying to prove to me that I can keep my rules with Brooke and be a hard ass, but still fall for her.”
Hunter sighed. “Well, it’s not an easy task, but it can be done. Just look at me. I’ve done it too.”
“You’re the biggest pussy out of everyone,” Ice shot back.
“No, that would be Derek,” Hunter pointed out.
“I’m a what?” Derek asked as he walked in and took a seat.
“Let me ask you something,” I said, leaning forward in my seat. “You lived a certain way before you met Claire. Do you think you’re still the same man?”
“Fuck no. And thank God. I wouldn’t go back to the man I was for anything in the world.”
“Oh, sure. Ask the man that has the wife that plays out his every fantasy with him,” Ice grumbled.
“Hey, it’s not my problem that you and Linsey have no fucking imagination,” Derek grinned. “See how I did that? Did you catch that play on words?”
“If you have to fucking explain it, it’s not that funny,” Ice shot back.
“The point is that none of us are the same after we meet our women,” Chris pointed out. “And to think that you’re still the same man is just delusional. We’re all better for the women we have in our lives now. Just look at the lengths we would go to in order to protect them. If that isn’t badass, I don’t know what is.”
That actually made sense. I guess if you had the right woman, it made you more lethal.
“Well, I’m glad for all of you. I really am. But Brooke is not the one for me. Believe me, I’d fucking know it.”
“How?” Ice asked.
“Trust me.”
“No, seriously, do you think this is some kind of romance sixth sense or something? That when you see her, you’ll get a whiff of her scent and attack her and impregnate her or something? Because that’s not at all the way this shit works. Lindsey and I didn’t just fall in love at first sight. In fact, we pretty much hated each other unless we were fucking. And even that, it’s not like I felt this undeniable lust for her. It was all-”
“Yeah, we fucking know. It was an accidental fucking. You can’t tell me that you weren’t attracted to her. Obviously you wanted her or you wouldn’t have ended up in the position you did,” I reminded him.
“Okay, so I did want to fuck her, but that’s as far as it went. She drove me fucking crazy.”
“It’s not like Lucy and I started out that way either. We fucked around for months before I pulled my head out of my ass. And then I fucked it up some more.”
“Yeah, but you’re missing the point. I don’t want to be with Brooke and she doesn’t want kids. There’s no future for us, so you all need to get it through your heads that this doesn’t end in a wedding. Sorry, Hunter. I know you love performing weddings-”
“Do not,” he said indignantly.
“But it’s just not in the cards for us. She’s just a good fuck that I’m being forced into a roommate situation with.”
The guys looked like I had just kicked their puppies. I didn’t get it. They were all grown-ass men, moping around because I told them I wasn’t going to fall for Brooke.
A commotion behind me startled me out of my thoughts. Lindsey walked in with a bag and a sickeningly sweet smile on her face. She walked right over to Ice, and I could see the fear in his eyes. She pulled a raw steak out of the bag and plopped it on the table in front of him. Next she pulled out a meat tenderizer and pounded the steak into the table until it was nothing more than a flat, thin pile of meat. Then she pulled out the steak seasoning and generously doused the steak with it, and pulled out some potatoes, butter, milk, salt, and pepper. After that came the asparagus.
“Here’s your dinner, Dear. The next time you call me and try to manhandle me like that, this won’t be the only meat that I tenderize.” She gave him a deep kiss that was so indecent I had to turn away, then she left without another word.
“Shit,” Ice let out a breath. “I almost pissed myself.”
“Yeah, you really laid down the law,” Chris laughed.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Brooke
I was just getting out of the shower when I heard the front door slam. Thinking it was Rocco, I wrapped a towel around myself and headed for the front door. Bu
t it was not Rocco and I could kick myself for not getting dressed first. Knight stood in the doorway, his eyebrow quirked at me as I stood there in just my towel and wet hair. I had only met the man a handful of times, and to say that he wasn’t a talker was an understatement. In fact, he looked at me like I wasn’t worth speaking to.
“I’m already taken.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Don’t you know how to knock?”
“I’m here to install security. And since you don’t actually live here, and I’m only here to make sure that Rocco’s daughter is protected, I really don’t give a shit if you think I should knock or not.”
“I hate to break it to you, but I do live here, at least for the next year.”
“No, you’re here as a prisoner because you fucked up and Rocco is bailing you out. Now, maybe he thinks you’d never try anything, but I’m not so stupid as to believe you just because you’re Reese’s friend.”
“Wow, you’re really an asshole.”
He shrugged. “I’ve been called worse.”
He walked past me, not sparing me a second glance as he set down a few items on the kitchen table and went back out to an SUV that was parked in the driveway. He walked back with another armload of supplies, so I went to my room to quickly get dressed. It’s not that I wanted to spend time with Knight, but he was the only person around to talk to, so I couldn’t afford to be picky right now.
When I walked back out, he had some kind of circular device on the table upside down and he was fiddling with some kind of program on his computer.
“What are you doing?”
“Resetting Ruby.”
“Ruby?”
He sighed in irritation. “She’s a robot vacuum cleaner that is specially designed to take out any threats she deems necessary.”
I swallowed hard, feeling my eyes bug out. “You…have a killer robot?”
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