by HELEN HARDT
She whimpered when he pulled out of her and groaned, holding his cock. In the dark, she couldn’t see, but his trembling made it clear what was happening. He was ejaculating…all over her bed. She hadn’t thought of that…
When his breathing slowed to nearly normal, he lay next to her. “I’m sorry. About the mess.”
“It’s okay.”
He grabbed a tissue off her nightstand and wiped up the wetness. Then he gathered her in his arms and pulled her close.
“Mia, that was amazing.”
She nodded, couldn’t speak.
“Did you like it?”
Did she like it? Words couldn’t express how much this had meant to her. If only they could, she would tell him exactly what she meant. But she said only, “Yes.”
“Good.” He kissed her forehead and smiled. “I’m glad.”
She wanted to ask him where they’d go from here. Was he her boyfriend now? She wouldn’t presume anything. Perhaps he’d only wanted the sex, and she could live with that if she had to. This experience had been worth it. But oh, she hoped he wanted more. She hoped this was the first of many miracles between them.
She opened her mouth, but she had no idea what to say.
It didn’t matter anyway.
The knock on the door would have silenced her.
Chapter Seven
Maria’s heart dropped to her belly. “Why, Jeff? Why can’t you? I know you want me. You know I want you. I never stopped loving you. Never, no matter how my decisions may have looked in the past.”
“I know.” Jeff’s Adam’s apple bobbed in his neck. “You did it for Angie.”
“That’s right.”
“You didn’t believe in me.”
So he was back to this again. “I’m sorry. I felt I had no choice at the time.” What more could she say? She’d said it all time and again.
“If you had believed in me…”
Anger rose within her. Maria tried to tamp it down, but the words came out anyway. “Oh, stop it. You know I had no choice. I thought you were going to prison, and it turns out I was right.” When he opened his mouth to speak, she held up a hand to quiet him. “No, I didn’t think you were a killer, Jeff. I never thought that. But the evidence was there, and the cops needed a scapegoat.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Jeff sighed. “I just can’t, Mia, and that’s that.”
She sniffed, her eyes watering. “You’re never going to forgive me, are you?”
Jeff shook his head. “It’s not as simple as you might think.”
She opened her heart and reached for him. “Jeff, my love, I know you’ve been through hell. I can’t even begin to imagine all you’ve experienced while I’ve been here on the ranch with your daughter and her siblings. I’ve had a wonderful life, even without being in love, and you’ve suffered. I wish I could change it. I truly do. I’d give up everything if I could give you your life back. I would.”
His dark eyes misted. He looked away. “I know you would, Mia.”
She widened her eyes, shocked. “You know? You believe me?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Oh, Jeff.” She fell against his hard chest. “Thank you for that. Thank you.”
His arms went around her, tightened, and for a moment, as she was cocooned in his embrace, everything was right. Until he pulled away.
“It doesn’t change anything, Mia.”
She looked up into his handsome face tight with tension. His beautiful eyes were sunken and sad.
“What can I do, Jeff? What can I do to change things between us? We both deserve happiness after all we’ve been through, you most of all. I want to make you happy. That’s what I want most in the world.”
“I know, Mia. I know.”
“Why won’t you let me?”
He sucked in a long breath and let it out slowly. He backed away. “I just can’t.”
* * *
Thirty-Three Years Earlier
“Shh,” Maria said to Jeff. “Don’t say a word.”
Jeff nodded.
Maria walked to the door, her heart skittering. “Who is it?”
“It’s me,” her sister, Meghan, said. “Who else would it be?”
Maria gathered her courage. “What do you want? Why aren’t you asleep?”
“I heard noises. Can I sleep with you?”
Maria drew in a deep breath. Meghan was only eleven and prone to nightmares since their father had died a year ago. Often she crawled in bed with Maria when she couldn’t sleep. Clearly that couldn’t happen tonight.
What was she going to do?
“Just a minute, Meghan.” Quickly she pulled on her T-shirt and undies and wrapped a robe around her shoulders.
“Stay here,” she mouthed to Jeff.
She unlocked the door, went into the hallway, and shut her door behind her. “It’s okay, honey. Did you have another bad dream?”
“No. I told you. I heard noises.”
“What kind of noises?”
“Squeaking or something. And some voices.”
“Oh?” How could she have been so stupid as to make love in her bedroom with Meghan in the other room? What had she been thinking?
Right. She knew exactly what she’d been thinking. The next world war wouldn’t have stopped her from sleeping with Jeff. She’d wanted it that much, felt it was that right.
It had been.
“Okay, honey. Let’s have a look around.” She took Meghan’s hand and led her through the house on the ritual that had become habit when Meghan woke. They turned on the lights in each room and checked behind everything to put the younger girl at ease.
“See?” Maria said. “No one’s here except you and me. Let’s get you back to bed.”
“But we didn’t check your room.”
A chill crept up Maria’s neck. Jeff was in her room, probably still naked in her bed. “I was just in there, honey. My room is fine.”
“But we always check all the rooms,” Meghan persisted.
“Honey, come on. I’m so tired.” Maria feigned a yawn. “Let’s just get you back to bed.”
“Please? I’ll never get back to sleep.”
Before Maria could stop her, Meghan turned the doorknob, opened the door to Maria’s room, and walked in.
Maria caught her breath. How would she explain this? Her skin prickled with nerves as she followed her sister into her room.
The bed was mussed. And the window wide open. An autumn breeze drifted into the room. Thank God they lived in a small ranch house.
She took a deep breath and started the ritual. “See? Nothing here either.”
“Why’s your window open? That’s not safe.”
Maria shut it quickly. “I was warm a little earlier. I must have fallen asleep before I remembered to shut it.”
That seemed to appease Meghan.
“Let’s get you back to bed now.”
Thankfully, Meghan didn’t beg to sleep with Maria. She couldn’t bear the thought of lying in her bed, remembering her wonderful time with Jeff…with her little sister next to her. She tucked Meghan back into bed, gave her a quick kiss on the forehead, and went back to her room.
She closed her bedroom door, inhaled deeply, and sat down on the bed. It was still warm. She smiled. She would never forget this night.
A tap on the window startled her.
She jumped up to see Jeff’s nose pressed against the window. She quickly opened it.
“What’d you shut it for?” he asked.
“Sorry. I didn’t know you were coming back.”
“I wouldn’t leave you without saying good-bye.” He climbed in the window.
“Shh.” She smiled. Of course he wouldn’t leave her. She wished he could stay with her and hold her all night, but that was impossible.
As if reading her mind, he said, “Can I stay?” His beautiful lips were curved in a lazy grin.
“I so wish you could, Jeff. But Meghan’s awake now, and I know she’d hear us.”
“Hmm. We’ll have to find a better place then. My apartment next time?”
Her heart nearly leaped out of her chest. Next time! A next time would happen. She smiled.
He continued, “You could spend the night there, no problem.”
Reality came down hard and hit her in the gut. “Well, no, I couldn’t. My mom works nights, and I have to stay with Meghan.”
“Oh.”
His gorgeous lips turned downward. He looked hurt. Well, heck, she wasn’t too crazy about the situation either, but what could she do?
“Tomorrow afternoon then. I’ll pick you up after school.” He grinned. “Unless you want to skip again.”
Skip? With only two weeks left, why not? But she did still have finals to think about, even though her grades were inconsequential at this point. At her core, Maria Gomez was a good girl—a good girl who didn’t cut school, even for the man of her dreams.
“I can’t cut again. I still have to graduate.”
He winked. “Okay. For this time anyway. I’ll pick you up after school on my bike.”
She smiled, her whole body warming. “I’ll be waiting.”
He trailed a finger down her cheek and then lowered his lips to hers.
The kiss was slow and gentle this time. A kiss not of passion, not of urgency, but of completion and understanding.
A kiss of love.
Was it possible to fall in love in a day? Who knew? Maria had said “I love you” to Greg Black once, when he’d said it to her—when he was trying to get her to go further, of course—but she’d never felt the wholeness and completeness that she felt with Jeff Bay. The desire and the need. So what did time have to do with it?
She was in love for the first time in her life, with Jeff Bay, a bad boy, but such a sweet, wonderful man.
All those others were wrong about Jeff. They had to be. Any man who could kiss like that and make love to a woman so tenderly and completely her very first time was a wonderful man. A perfect man.
When he lifted his mouth from hers, she pressed her lips together. Otherwise, she was afraid she’d blurt out, “I love you.”
His dark gaze penetrated hers. He was so handsome, and even in the darkness his eyes glittered.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then, Mia.”
“Yes,” she whispered, “tomorrow.”
In a flash, he climbed back out the window and was gone.
Maria drifted into her bed once more.
And still, it was warm.
Chapter Eight
“Hi there, Angie.”
Jeff stood at the door of his home on Cha Cha Ranch and regarded his daughter’s beautiful face. Her dark hair was tied in twin ponytails behind each ear. He longed to reach out and grab her, never let her go. He’d seen a few old photos. She’d been a gorgeous little girl, the pride of his brother’s eye. He gulped. No sense resenting his dead brother. The situation was what it was.
“Sorry to barge in like this,” Angie said.
“Not a problem.” Jeff held the door open. “This used to be your home, after all.”
“Yeah, every now and then I miss the old place.” She shook her head. “No, I’ll be honest. I really don’t miss it. I didn’t…like myself very much during the time I lived here.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Oh, you know how spoiled I was. My fa— Er, uncle. God.” She let out a sigh. “That doesn’t sound right either.”
“You were Wayne’s favorite. I know. Your mother has told me all the stories.” He attempted a smile. “I guess I should be grateful to my brother for doting on you, for giving you everything you deserved.”
A tear formed in the corner of Angie’s right eye.
“What’s wrong?” Jeff asked.
“It’s just…I loved my father…I…”
“It’s okay for you to call him your father, Angie. He was your father in every way that counted. I just wish I could have been the one to… Oh, well. That’s neither here nor there.”
“The thing is I wasn’t a very good person. Before.”
“Before what?”
“Before I met Rafe. I was spoiled rotten, and…well, according to my mother, it was my father who spoiled me. And she let him, because she felt so guilty about deceiving him that I was his. She didn’t have the heart to tell him to stop it.”
“Angie, it’s—”
“Please—” She held up a hand. “Let me finish.”
Jeff nodded.
“Harper and Catie weren’t like me. They weren’t spoiled rotten. They were good kids, hard workers. I mean, you can see that now.”
“Yes, they’re both great people.”
“And I wasn’t…not for a long time.”
“But you are now, Angie, and that’s all that matters.”
“I’ve done a lot of things in my life that I’m not very proud of.”
Jeff laughed. He couldn’t help it. “You are preaching to the choir, honey. Believe me, no matter how spoiled rotten you were, anything rotten you did fits on the head of a pin compared to what I’ve done.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“I know you didn’t. It’s okay if you weren’t perfect. It’s even okay if you were a spoiled brat. Accept your past and move on.”
She sniffed. “Can you?”
Her question hit his gut like a bowling ball. God, he wished he could. There was so much his innocent daughter didn’t know about him.
“Are you going to answer me?”
Jeff bit his lip. “I don’t really know what to say.”
“Mama… She loves you, I think,” Angie said. “I mean, she hasn’t told me, but the way she looks at you… She never looked at Daddy… I’m sorry. I did it again.” She rubbed her forehead.
“I said it’s okay, Angie.”
“They weren’t in love. They admitted it. And I think it’s sad to go through life without love, don’t you?”
Jeff nodded, trying not to get misty.
“I mean, what Rafe and I have—Mama and Daddy never had that. And I think that’s really sad. They deserved it, and Daddy will never have it now.”
Jeff nodded again. “I know. I’m sorry about that.”
Angie sniffed. “But Mama can, Jeff. You and Mama can.”
Could they? Jeff wasn’t sure. He was no longer a whole man. “I’m not the man I was thirty-some-odd years ago, Angie. I’m not the man your mother fell in love with.”
“But you’re still Jeff Bay. She fell in love with Jeff Bay. Oh!” She clutched at her belly.
Jeff reached for her. “What is it, sweetheart?”
“It’s…oh, it can’t be. A contraction? I’m not due for three weeks. Although I was early myself—” She shook her head. “No, I wasn’t, after all. That’s the story Mama always told to cover up my paternity. I was actually a few days late— Oh!”
“Angie?”
“Oh, God. I think my water just broke. My belly’s been giving me fits for the last several hours. It felt like indigestion, but—oh my God—this isn’t indigestion.”
Jeff looked at Angie’s midsection. Sure enough, her shorts were drenched, and clear fluid trickled down her legs. Jeff didn’t know much about births, but he did know that once the water broke, the baby was coming.
“Oh, Jesus, okay.” He looked around. “Let’s get you into the spare bedroom. You can lie down and I’ll call the doctor.”
“I want Rafe.”
“Of course. I’ll call him.”
“But he’s in Grand Junction, meeting with the foreman at Bay Crossing. He… He didn’t want to go. Didn’t want to leave me. I insisted, said I was fine. Oh my God, what was I thinking?”
“You were thinking you were fine, and you are.”
“He can’t miss the birth of our first child.”
“He may not. Labor can go on for a while, can’t it? He’s only a few hours away.”
That seemed to calm her down. “Yes, yes. He’ll get here.”
“Of course he will.” Jeff
wished he were as sure as his voice sounded. He helped Angie to the spare bedroom. He quickly spread a clean cotton sheet over the bed—just in case—and gently laid her down.
“Call Rafe, please?”
“Of course, but I need to call the doctor first.”
“Oh!” She clutched her belly. “God, another one already?”
Crap. Jeff looked at his watch. It had been what—two minutes since the last one? That couldn’t be good. Weren’t they supposed to start at ten minutes apart?
“Call Rafe,” she said again.
“The doctor, Angie. Where’s your phone?”
“In my purse, in the living room.”
Jeff ran to the living room and retrieved the purse. He fished for her cell phone, and when he found it, browsed through the contacts list. There, Dr. Feinstein. He placed the call.
“Dr. Feinstein’s answering service.”
Shit. Really? “Hello. I’m the fa—uncle of one of Dr. Feinstein’s patients, Angelina Grayhawk. She’s gone into labor and we’re an hour away from Denver, outside Bakersville.”
“How far apart are her contractions, sir?”
“About two or three minutes.”
“And has her water broken?”
“Yes, it has.”
“We’ll page Dr. Feinstein. He’s on call. In the meantime, get her to Denver right away.”
Angie screamed from the other room. “I have to push.”
“I don’t have a car. But I’ll call her mother. She can… Shit, she’s in Denver already for the day. My nephew is out on the ranch, I’ll have to find him.”
“What about you, sir?”
“I don’t have a car.”
“Just get her to the hospital in Denver as soon as you can.”
“She’s saying she needs to push.”
“Push? Oh goodness, there may not be time to get her to the hospital.”
“What do you mean? This is her first baby, for God’s sake.”
“It’s a myth that first babies are always slow. Sometimes they come quickly. When that baby is ready to come, he’s going to come, and there’s nothing you or I can do about it. Call 9-1-1 and get an ambulance on the way. In the meantime, do what you can to keep her comfortable. Once I get hold of Dr. Feinstein, he’ll call you. May I give him the number you called on?”