Reluctant Wife

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Reluctant Wife Page 14

by Lindsay Armstrong


  But the card she got gave her more than twenty-one, and she turned with a wry little smile to a man standing behind her and he fondly slipped a hundred-dollar, bill into her hand which she handed to the croupier to be changed into chips.

  That was when she looked idly across at Roz, her lovely hazel eyes widened and her gaze lifted, and Roz felt Adam’s hand on her shoulder.

  But. when Roz twisted to smile up at him, he wasn’t looking down at her but across the table, with his mouth hardening. Roz felt her own eyes widen as she turned back, because it was the woman in green he was staring at she realised, but it was more, it was as if there was an electrically charged current flowing across the green baize tabletop between them which seemed to touch everyone around them, even the croupier, who turned her head from one to the other and blinked a couple of times before she returned to cutting a pack of cards.

  Then that green-flecked gaze slid down to study Roz, thoroughly, and for some reason she caught her breath and felt Adam’s hand tighten on her shoulder. She couldn’t tear her eyes away.

  Until the croupier called, ‘Place your bets, please,’ and the woman in green smiled faintly and did the strangest thing. She raised one hand to sketch a salute, then turned to the table.

  Adam said a moment later, ‘Had enough, Roz?’

  ‘Yes. Yes!’

  *

  They lay side by side high above the Paradise Centre in their room in the luxurious new Ramada Hotel, not speaking, not sleeping.

  Adam had been quiet on the way back from the casino and Roz the same, still gripped by that curious encounter.

  He had already been in bed when Roz came out of the bathroom, lying with his hands behind his head, and he hadn’t stirred as she moved quietly about the room, tidying up. Then she had slipped beneath the sheet beside him and he had slid an arm around her shoulder but not turned his head.

  She moved closer now and laid her cheek on his shoulder. ‘Who was she?’

  He said, when she thought he wasn’t going to answer, ‘Louise.’

  ‘I wondered if that was who she was,’ Roz murmured. ‘She’s very beautiful and unusual.’

  ‘So are man-eating tigers, I’m told,’ he said drily.

  ‘Is this,’ Roz hesitated, ‘the first time you’ve seen her since…’

  ‘Yes. They live in Perth.’

  She asked no more questions, and presently he gathered her into his arms and as they lay together she felt the tension drain out of him. ‘I thought,’ Adam said into her hair, ‘rather, I used to think what a triumph; it would be to see her again, to be able to show her that I’d made it—show her what she’d walked away from.’

  ‘And it wasn’t like that?’ Roz. asked gently.

  ‘No. The opposite. It was her moment of triumph. Which made me angry, I guess. Because all these years I’ve avoided looking one fact in the face.’

  Roz held her breath.

  ‘I might not have loved her,’ he explained, ‘but she dented my pride pretty badly. And all this time I’ve thought of her as grasping and on the make, deep down. I’ve thought … all right, even if I fell out of love ‘with her, or perhaps I was never in love with her, I didn’t do that to her—walk away into the arms of another woman. But she’s proved me wrong. And in doing so, exposed my ego.’

  Do you mean …?’

  ‘I think I mean it would have been all right if I’d sent her away, but to be walked out on, and for another man who was richer and older, rather stuck in my gullet. Which is ridiculous, because the alternative was to live together in misery. I knew that—pride is a crazy thing, obviously.’

  ‘But she’s stuck to him ?’ Roz whispered.

  ‘Yes. And made him very happy, I would say, by the look of it.’

  ‘Do you think she fell in love with him, or …?’

  ‘I don’t know, Roz. Not at the time, I didn’t. Now it doesn’t seem to matter. What matters is that she had the perception and wisdom to take her life into her own hands. I believe they have four children.’

  Roz winced. ‘And I have you,’ Adam said very quietly, and began to make love to her with exquisite slowness.

  They left on Sunday morning quite early. But. as they were waiting to turn on to the highway, who should walk across their bows but none other than Michael Howard and a girl of about twenty.

  Roz blinked and stared.

  They were holding hands, Mike and his wife, and she was unexceptionally pretty and had quality Roz couldn’t for an instant put her finger on. Then it occurred to her, as they walked on down the pavement on her side of the car, that she looked practical and capable, somehow—like Mrs Howard.

  She watched them as Adam drew out into the traffic, which was heavy, so for as time they kept pace. They were talking, engrossed in each other and, it was easy to see, happy. And for Roz it was like watching an acquaintance, not someone who once had desperately wanted to marry her.

  Then they turned a comer and she turned to Adam. He took his eyes of the road and there was a query in them.

  ‘What a coincidence,‘ she said a little breathlessly. ‘I mean, you seeing Louise the other day and me seeing Mike today.’

  He didn’t say anything, but when they stopped at a traffic light, he put his hand over hers.

  ‘How did you know about him? Being married?’ she asked.

  ‘He applied for at job with us—not Milroy Electronics but a subsidiary company. He probably didn’t realise it was connected. I happened to be attending a managerial conference when his application came up for consideration. All his particulars were on the form, and because the name rang a bell, I looked at it. They’re living with his parents—that was the address he gave, anyway—and his wife is a nurse. They’ve been married for about four months now.’

  ‘Did you …?’ she hesitated.

  ‘I didn’t intervene one way or the other. But they were looking for someone more experienced.’

  ‘I …’ She started again. ‘It was like looking at a stranger and it all seems so far away now. His father must approve … of her.’

  Adam began, ‘Roz … ‘ then swore as as car loomed up beside them and with no warning whatsoever ducked in front of them so that he had to jam his brakes on to avoid hitting it. But they themselves were jolted forward then as the car behind ran into the back of the Jaguar.

  To add to the confusion, a highway patrol car lurking in a side street must have witnessed the whole incident, because it cut on to the highway with lights flashing and sirens blaring in pursuit of the car which had caused it all.

  Roz swallowed and went pale.

  ‘Are you all right?’ demanded Adam, his face pale too but furious.

  ‘Yes,’ she said shakily.

  ‘You don’t look it.’

  ‘I’m fine. I just got a fright, and then that … siren.’

  He swore again and put an arm around her. ‘Relax,’ he ordered. ‘I doubt if anyone’s hurt.’ He got out.

  No one was, and the damage to the rear of the Jaguar was less than to the bonnet of the car behind. Presently a highway patrolman on a motorbike rode up and spoke to Adam and the other driver and took particulars, then dealt with the snarl up in the traffic.

  ‘A carload of young hoons,’ said Adam, getting back in, and adding disgustedly, ‘Drunk—at this time of the morning! They were spotted further back, but because of the traffic, instead of chasing them the police radioed ahead.’

  ‘Did they catch them?’

  ‘Yes—fortunately before they did any more damage. Well,’ he started the car and listened attentively, but it sounded as smooth as ever, ‘we’re mobile at least, which is more than the poor beggars behind are, so let’s get home and out of this. Feeling better?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Sure?’

  ‘Yes. Yes, I am,’ Roz said with decision. ‘I can’t spend the rest of my life going into shock every time I hear a siren, can I?’ And she smiled at him genuinely.

  He narrowed his eyes briefly, another
curious look, but it was so fleeting, she didn’t have to take evasive action.

  And he said with a grin, ‘No, ma’am.’

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  LIFE at home was calm and restful for a time after their brief holiday. Restful for Roz at least, but Adam spent a lot of time away from home and at other times was unusually preoccupied. Roz pondered this, but, although with a niggle of doubt sometimes, attributed it to the Japanese agency he had acquired. Anyway, she had decided to take her life into her own hands with wisdom and perception and always, banished those doubts resolutely.

  After all, she told herself, she had great cause for hope, hadn’t she? She might not have been able to tell him in so many words that she loved him, but she’d fought for and won the right to show him, And two of the outstanding problems of their relationship had been vanquished, she felt. He had really come to terms with his first marriage—and that must diminish his cynicism about falling in love, and perhaps women in general now that; he could admire and respect Louise, she reasoned; While for her the spectre of both Louise and Mike Howard had been laid for ever, for Adam too, she hoped and prayed.

  And when the startling thought popped into her mind one day that the fact that it wasn’t Louise she had to worry about didn’t mean it couldn’t be another woman, nor was it unknown, for men to be quite happily polygamous, she immediately felt ashamed and as if she was maligning Adam. And more convinced than ever of the unwisdom of indulging in futile speculation.

  Something else that puzzled her, though, she did allow herself to think about freely. Adam had said he’d brought back a surprise from Tokyo, but although she knew his lost luggage had finally turned up he had made no further mention of the surprise. Perhaps it hasn’t turned up yet, though, she mused. Perhaps it was a separate item. And perhaps it’s silly not to just ask him outright, but I don’t seem to be able to do that. He did sound a bit strange when he mentioned it, didn’t he? I wonder why.

  Several antidotes for her suppressed and acknowledged concerns helped greatly, however. She discovered during the peace of those weeks a feeling of more interest in her home and a desire to be more involved in running it. This first came about when she mentioned out of the blue to Milly that she had always been interested in herbs and would like to start a garden of them and perhaps use more herbs in their cuisine. She had broken off then to apologise rather disjointedly in case Milly thought she was being critical.

  But Milly, it seemed, had been waiting for the day Roz would take more interest in the household, because she said, ‘What a great idea! We could make teas—all sorts of things. By the way, I was going to mention that the wallpaper and the seat coverings in the dining-room look a little shabby, which is a good excuse for doing some redecorating in there. I usually get an interior decorator in, but would you …?’

  Roz would love to, she decided. Then Nimmitabel passed the crucial period and the fracture was pronounced to be healing well—well enough for her to be put to stud eventually and spend the rest of her days pursuing maternity. Like me, thought Roz with some irony. I hope she’s more successful!

  Two weeks later, the herb garden had been dug and planted and the dining-rooms redecorated. The, speed with which they had been able to finish the dining-room was mostly due to Jeanette, who had proved a dab hand at upholstery, and now the twelve magnificent mahogany chairs had dull yellow slub silk seat covers which matched the wallpaper, although they had got a professional in to hang that.

  It was Flavia, calling in unexpectedly, who helped Roz to add the finishing touches.

  ‘My dear Roz,’ she cried as she stared round the all but finished room; ‘I adore it! I had no idea you were so gifted.’

  Roz smiled ruefully, then sobered. ‘It needs a few—I’m not quite sure what—to finish it off, though. None of the ornaments or lamps we had before seem to fit. I thought all white perhaps, but …’ She shrugged.

  Flavia blinked, then said softly, ‘But how perfect … perhaps with just one focal touch of a soft jade green. Come with me, Roz!’ she commanded. ‘I know just where to go.’

  Hours later Roz arrived back from an arduous tour of all Flavia’s favourite antique shops exhausted but happy, as she explained to Adam that night when she took him into the dining-room and described what they had bought. ‘I think the alabaster lamps will look super on the sideboard, and we found this enormous pottery vase with a beautiful soft green glaze and perfectly elegant handles at the neck that could stand here, and then a really unusual ceramic candelabrum for the table. That’s all … oh no, we got a new dinner service and some table linen,’ she remembered guiltily. ‘I’ve spent an awful lot of your money today, Adam.’

  ‘Egged on by, my mother, no doubt,’ he commented.

  ‘She … well, she did say she was sure you wouldn’t mind.’

  ‘That sounds like her,’ he said a shade drily.

  Roz hesitated and felt her cheeks grow warm. ‘Do you mind? Perhaps I Should have checked with you first. Only she arrived out of the blue today and … we did have fun,’ she finished lamely.

  ‘That sounds like my mother too. By the way,’ he idly examined the colour in her cheeks, ‘you don’t have to look like a naughty schoolgirl. I’m not going to beat you for having so much fun!’

  Roz’s expression changed to one of indignation. ‘You were teasing me!’

  ‘I just couldn’t resist it,’ he murmured. ‘And now I’m going to kiss you. Any objection? After all, you said yourself you’d spent an awful lot of my money today.’

  ‘Well … but I saved you some too. Milly was going to get a decorator in, so we didn’t have that expense, and Jeanette made the seat covers. And your mother drives a mean bargain with antique dealers, believe me, whereas a decorator … Adam,’ she protested breathlessly, ‘Not here!’

  His long fingers stilled on the front of her blouse. ‘You had somewhere else in mind?’ he asked, his dark eyes glinting wickedly.

  ‘No! Dinner will be ready soon …’

  ‘But you said not here, which made me think you had somewhere else in mind, like your bedroom, I’m easy.’ His fingers moved on her buttons again until her blouse was open to the waistband of her skirt and he slipped his hands inside to cup her breasts. She’d showered after coming home and not bothered to put a bra on because it was a hot, still evening.‘

  ‘Oh,’ she whispered, ‘I think you’re in an impossible mood. You know what I meant … Someone could come in at any moment!’

  ‘Why? We don’t use this room when we’re on our own. Anyway, do you care?’ said Adam softly. ‘They’d only turn around and go straight out again.’

  Roz stared up at him, her lips parted and her lashes fluttering as; he drew his thumbs across her nipples. She trembled beneath his hands and felt her control slipping. She tore her gaze away and looked around a little wildly—at the smooth, bare surface of the dining-room table—and gasped at the images that flooded her mind.

  He followed her gaze, and when she looked back at him he had one eyebrow raised and a wicked smile playing on his lips. ‘Roz…’

  ‘Don’t,’ she begged, and convulsively buried her head in his chest ‘Don’t tease me!’

  Adam withdrew his hands and put his arms around her and she could feel him laughing. ‘It’s not funny,’ she said tensely, and thought she must be blushing from head to toe, so hot did she feel, and not only because of her incredible thoughts but because he had understood immediately.

  ‘Perhaps not,’ he said after a moment, ‘but wildly imaginative … and innovative,’ he added barely audibly.

  Roz groaned. ‘Oh … it was you! I might … I might never be able to come in here again, let alone, give a dinner party … oh!’

  But when he stopped laughing this time, and resisting her efforts to free herself, he said, ‘That would be a pity after all your hard work. And I shall very much enjoy coming in here again, and entertaining in here, because we’ll be able to share a very private joke, won’t we, my lovely, unexpected
ly naughty but fascinating Roz?’

  She caught her breath and forced herself to look, up at him at last.

  ‘Roz, don’t look like that. I’m sorry,’ he said with returning gravity.

  Her lips quivered, then suddenly she was giggling helplessly, but there was a tap on the door then and she froze and thanked God she had her back to it, while Adam pressed her closer to him as Jeanette said,

  ‘Dinner is served, Mr Milroy … oh! Sorry! I didn’t mean … ‘

  ‘That’s all right, Jeanette,’ Adam said calmly over Roz’s head. ‘We’ll be there in a minute.’

  ‘Well, there’s no hurry. I’m sure Milly could … I mean… ‘

  ‘Don’t bother, Jeanette,’ said Adam seriously, but Roz could feel, the effort it cost him, while Jeanette apparently took the hint, because Roz heard her, walk away.‘

  ‘I told you!’ she whispered. ‘Now I haven’t only to face this room again, but them.’ She was laughing, though, and as he released her and carefully did up her buttons they laughed quietly together, although he did have the grace to look rather rueful.

  ‘There—all proper and prudent again,’ he murmured, and kissed her lips. ‘And I’ll help you face them.’ He took her hand.

  But later that evening he was preoccupied again, and although he came to her bed, there was something restrained about his lovemaking, as if he had been dwelling on something that had doused their earlier encounter.

  Roz was pondering it all the next morning as she unpacked her new treasures which had arrived in an early delivery.

  She decided to set the table with the new linen and dinner service, just to see how it looked, and they were all three, she and Milly and Jeanette, admiring it when Lucia arrived.

  ‘Well, well,’ observed Lucia as Milly, who had gone to answer the door, ushered her into the dining-room, ‘Mother said you and she had gone on a shopping spree, Roz.’ She looked around critically. ‘Quite nice,’ she murmured.

  Milly, who was standing behind her, raised her eyes heavenwards fleetingly but said, ‘I was just going to make Mrs Milroy some coffee, Mrs Whatney. Would you care for some?’

 

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