‘Dance? Oh, no. I don’t dance.’
‘Sure you do, you just choose not to. I usually choose not to as well, but this evening I am planning to.’ She smiled then, pleadingly. ‘Don’t make me dance alone, Damir.’
She wouldn’t be alone for long. Not while she stood with big eyes blazing with hope, her hair falling silk-like down her back, long legs encased in shorts. Possessiveness seized him as he rose to his feet. ‘You might regret this,’ he warned her. ‘No one has ever accused me of having rhythm before.’
‘I won’t judge you if you won’t judge me,’ she promised. ‘Come on.’
He knew what she was doing. Trying to take his mind off the past, to lighten the mood, and it was working. Damir couldn’t remember the last time he’d socialised on Lokvar, spent an evening in his own bar as a guest, not the manager, but to his surprise he realised he was actually looking forward to it. To spending the evening with Lily by his side. Just as if this was nothing but the summer affair he had offered her. And for a moment he wished that this was all it was. No business, no agenda, just attraction and fun.
Maybe it could be. For tonight at least.
CHAPTER SEVEN
THE MUSIC WAS LOUD, pounding through the bar, as the band added extra bass and percussion to last year’s Europop breakout hit. Lily tossed her hair and twirled, any pretensions to rhythm and co-ordination long gone. Damir on the other hand hadn’t been entirely honest when he had claimed to be no dancer, moving in a sinuous pattern that turned her whole body molten with lust.
He was an enigma, one she desperately wanted to puzzle out. Carelessly handsome, seemingly easygoing, the sheer scale of his success and the shortness of the timescale in which he’d achieved that success pointed to a man who was neither careless nor easygoing. And behind his flirtatious smile lay a man scarred by the failure of his marriage and his father’s death. Scars she sensed he let very few if any people see.
Like her he seemed to be surrounded by acquaintances rather than friends, although he had grown up in this small tight-knit community. Only she had been lucky enough to have Izzy. Since his divorce she sensed that Damir had been almost entirely alone. Was that distance self-imposed or had it grown along with his success?
So why was he so open with her? Maybe because she was safe, leaving in just a couple of months. Or maybe because of the connection between them, unexpected but palpable.
A physical connection, a searing attraction, nothing more. Yet with every conversation, every touch, every glance she felt it sink further in, deeper and deeper, lodging within her. She wanted him, yes, more and more as the evening went on. But she wanted to know him, all of him. She’d never felt like this before, this out-of-control need. It terrified her and exhilarated her in equal measure. Control was so much part of her, built into her every thought and deed, her safety net and guidance. Yet here she was, dancing with no control at all with a man she barely knew, a man she wanted more and more with every passing moment. So much so that when she had gone upstairs to change her top and shoes and brush her hair before they had headed to the bar, she’d opened the pack of condoms she kept in her wash bag more out of habit—always sensible, always prepared—than any expectation of needing them. She could feel the outline of the foil packet in her back pocket, sure everyone could see it and know what she was thinking. Hoping. Wanting.
‘Having fun?’ Damir slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. No one took any notice. Their relationship seemed to be common knowledge already, thanks to the small island’s extremely efficient grapevine, so Lily wound her arms around his neck and pressed closely against the hardness of his body, swaying in time with him.
‘I am. Thank you for coming, it wouldn’t have been so much fun on my own.’
‘Thank you for asking me. It’s been a long, long time since I spent a Saturday night here, but I’m having a good time.’
‘As good a time as at a fancy restaurant in Dubrovnik?’
‘It isn’t the place that matters, it’s the company. I’d still like to take you to that restaurant, though, show you my home.’
‘Was that the plan? To invite me back for coffee?’ she teased, pressing closer. He closed his eyes briefly as she moved against him, visibly swallowing, and the thrill of the effect she was having on him shuddered through her.
‘Absolutely.’ He bent his head and captured her mouth with his, a swift searing kiss that buckled her knees. ‘Want to go for a walk?’ His voice was ragged.
‘I remember what happened last time you invited me for a walk,’ she said, smiling up into his eyes and seeing heat flickering in their depths.
‘Me too. Every second.’
‘In that case let’s go.’
Damir held her hand possessively as they slipped away from the bar and wandered back along the side of the harbour until they reached the path that bisected the island. This time Damir didn’t take any diversions and fifteen minutes later they were back on the beach. The lights were still on at the beach bar and she could hear voices and music. Without speaking they turned the other way, making their way along the empty moonlit beach.
Lily took a long deep breath, inhaling the sweet sea air. ‘There is nowhere like this, is there? I can’t believe I get to live here, even if it’s just for a while. I’m so glad I came, it wasn’t an easy decision to make.’
‘I’m glad you’re here too.’ Damir squeezed her hand and her whole body quivered. ‘But I’m intrigued. What made a London lawyer decide to spend her summer serving beer and coffee to holidaymakers?’
‘I make beds and dust too. Speak to demanding guests. I’m trying to arrange a wedding for a month’s time and I have never had a client as difficult as this particular bride.’
‘I don’t pay my wedding planners enough for the problems they have to solve, I know that. It must be a reassurance for Marija to know you’re looking after everything for her.’
‘So Josip claims. But Ana can run the B&B perfectly well without me, we all know that.’ She paused. He’d been honest with her, shared more than she’d expected. Could she do the same? Should she? ‘But really I’m here under a pretext.’
‘Oh?’
‘It’s a stitch-up between my mother, Josip and Marija to get me away from London, to give me some space. And I agreed because they were right, I needed to get away. And I agreed because I’d made a promise to start living differently and this seemed as good a place to start as any.’ Lily took a deep breath. She could feel her heart pounding, her chest sore; her grief physically hurt, weighing her down, and she couldn’t bear the solitude of it any longer. ‘My best friend died four months ago.’
The words were out. Lily’s eyes burned as she heard imagined echoes reverberating around the cove. Every time she said the words it was with disbelief. It was all so absurd. With a jolt she realised Damir had stopped, taken her other hand, his clasp strong and comforting. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Would you like to tell me about her?’
She stared up at him. His face was shadowed in the moonlight but his voice kind, filled with sympathy. She couldn’t have handled either before today, getting by with practicality and a hefty dose of denial, but his comforting hands holding hers, the lack of platitudes gave her the strength to nod.
‘I would, if you’re sure.’
‘She was important to you, of course I’m sure.’
They carried on walking until they reached the rocks clustered at the end of the beach. Damir let go of her hands and began to climb up, and Lily could see an easy path through them. ‘There’s more sand on the other side of here,’ he said. ‘Like a private little beach.’ Sure enough, a brief scramble later and they were sitting on a tiny horseshoe of sand encircled by the rocks, the dunes and the sea. She could see the lights from the villa on the other side of the bay, a few boats moored further out to sea. Otherwise
it was as if they were alone in the world.
Lily clasped her knees in one hand and stared out at the dark water for a long, long time, memories jostling for attention.
‘Izzy and I were really close,’ she said at last. ‘We were more like sisters than friends. And in some ways we were alike, although she was a lot more outgoing than me. Everyone loved her. She was so funny, and she would do anything for the people she loved.’
‘Sounds like a good friend to have. Where did you meet?’
‘At school. When mum married Josip I had to start a new school. I was shy anyway, and all the friendship groups had already been formed so I hid in the library every lunch and break. I soon realised I wasn’t the only lower school girl hiding out in there, mostly because Izzy insisted on sitting with me and asking me a hundred questions. She should have been the lawyer, she was always wanting to know about everything and everyone. She was insatiably curious.’ She closed her eyes and saw them, two girls in too-big uniforms, side by side at the wooden table, books spread out in front of them.
‘Izzy could have been in any friendship group she wanted, but she didn’t care about popularity. She was determined to get the highest grades in the school, to go to Oxford or Cambridge, she had it all planned out. She’d grown up in care, you see, lived with eight different foster families by the time I met her. Mum and Josip adored her, she was in a stable home by then or I think they would have taken her in.
‘Looking back, I realise I was probably too dependent on her, I didn’t look for other friends, didn’t need them. Izzy knew everyone, and I followed where she led. But although she enjoyed a party, usually had some besotted boy hanging around, her real focus was on her future. We drew up life plans that first year we met. Oxford for me, Cambridge for her. Law for me, computers for her. Then good jobs, sharing a flat in London, promotions. By thirty I would be partner and she would have got the investment for her first start-up.’
She laughed, hearing it all said aloud. ‘It sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it, but we had a whole timetable. And we stuck to it. Thought it was worth it, even though we missed out on a lot of rites of passage.’
‘Success takes sacrifice,’ Damir said, and she nodded.
‘And we sacrificed. Especially after university. We never took the time to go to the beach on a sunny day, never travelled, barely took a full weekend off. We always thought we had all the time in the world once we’d got to where we needed to be. But we were wrong. Izzy didn’t have all the time, her time was cut short.’
‘Did she have a boyfriend?’
Lily laughed. ‘Izzy attracted attention wherever she went, but when you’re always cancelling plans to work, boyfriends don’t tend to hang around too long. We were getting to the stage where we saw friends start to get engaged, a couple had babies, but neither of us wanted that kind of baggage, not yet. Izzy once said that she thought thirty-two was the right age to start thinking about marriage. It sounds silly, doesn’t it? Our lives. All planned out and on track.
‘But Izzy dying at twenty-eight wasn’t in the plans, not at all. And then I realised we were so busy living for the future we’d forgotten to live at all.’ Her voice faded to a whisper and Damir squeezed the hand he was still holding. She swallowed, the pain in her throat almost overwhelming.
‘She always wanted children one day, a big family with a dog and a range cooker like in the adverts, she said, to make up for the family she didn’t have. She wanted to foster herself, to give back. And she didn’t get to do or have any of it. She was desperate to go to Costa Rica and see sloths, to travel up the Californian coast, to see Petra, but she never took the time and now she’ll never go. So I promised her. I would start to live. For her as well as me. That’s why I’m here. Trying to learn to be spontaneous, trying to have fun. To live.’
* * *
Lily’s hand was warm and soft in his. Damir couldn’t, wouldn’t let it go. He’d never heard anyone sound so lonely, sound so desolate before and shame filled him for how he’d tried to probe to find out her family secrets, how he’d tried to use her. She deserved more than to be a pawn in his power games, she deserved to be loved and cherished. To be desired.
And, oh, how he desired her. That was no deceit.
‘You must be the bravest woman I know,’ he said, and she turned to face him, eyes wide with surprise.
‘Brave? Me?’
‘Coming to a place where you know nobody, where you don’t speak the language, to do a job you have no idea how to do. To leave your family and job, your whole life behind. That’s pretty brave.’
‘Well,’ she said a little shakily, ‘when you put it like that, I guess it was a little brave. To be honest, none of it comes easily, I spend an awful lot of time thinking, What would Izzy do?’
‘Do you speak to her?’
‘All the time. Does that sound silly?’
‘Not at all.’ He paused. ‘I speak to Dad, tell him my plans.’
‘It’s a way of keeping them with us,’ Lily said softly. ‘A way to carry on without them. There’s a hole in my life, and it will always be there. I’ll marry someone she will never meet, if I have children they will never know her. No one will ever know the me she knew. The insecurities she knew. No one will remember the way I cried over my first boyfriend even though I told everyone he was getting in the way of my studies, or how hard I worked for my A+ in maths. No one else was there when I got offered a place at my first-choice firm and danced around the kitchen.
‘I told her everything. She was the most kindred of kindred spirits and now she’s not here. I can’t just stop talking to her.’ She smiled shakily. ‘What do you say to your father? Do you ask his advice?’
‘Advice, no. I tell him what is going on. Report in, I suppose.’
‘Making sure you’re on track?’
‘Making sure I exceed expectations, keep my promise,’ he corrected her, and she shifted a little so she faced him, her hand still warm in his. Anchoring him, grounding him.
‘They hold a lot of weight, those promises to those who are no longer here. But believe me when I tell you that your promises are meaningless, your success meaningless if you don’t take the time to just be occasionally. To live. To make memories. It took a lot for me to agree to sit with you at the party, to go to Dubrovnik. I wanted to hide behind my work at the villa, just as I always had. But I knew that I needed to make some memories.’
‘Is that why you’re here? Collecting memories?’
‘I hope so. But at the moment I am trying to live in the moment, to be spontaneous. To feel.’
He had no idea who made the first move. One moment they were sitting side by side, their hands linked, the next she was in his arms and his mouth was on hers. This was no sweet, gentle exploratory kiss, this was an incendiary kiss full of urgency and need and pent-up frustration. There was no gentle exploration of bodies, no careful learning or touch.
Instead Lily impatiently pulled at his shirt, tugging it over his head still half-buttoned, her hands immediately sliding down to unbutton his shorts. He was no less busy, slipping her T-shirt off, inhaling sharply at the touch of her silky bare skin under his hands as he slid his hands across the back of her bra until he found the clasp, undoing it and tossing the garment to one side.
Damir hissed as Lily finally undid his trouser button, beginning to push his trousers down around his hips, all his blood rushing to that same spot with deep, primal urgency. ‘Not so fast,’ he managed, capturing her hands in his, stilling her progress.
‘Why not?’ she gasped, and Damir smiled, slowly and with intent against the sweetness of her mouth, edging back until he was leaning against the rocks and pulling her onto his knees so she knelt astride him, kissing her again, deep and hungry and so intoxicating he lost all knowledge of who and where he was.
‘Because we’ve barely got started,’ he told her after a moment, and chuckle
d at her whimper. With a Herculean effort Damir slowed things down, grazing his way down her neck, biting softly into the sweet hollow there until she moaned, throwing her head back to give him better access. He carried on exploring, his lips moving over the softness of her breasts while he carefully, slowly undid her shorts, sliding them down her thighs, stroking the soft skin beneath in slow, intent circles that mirrored his kisses, his fingers gliding up by infinitesimal steps until he found the very core of her.
She jolted as he touched her, then settled, moving in time with him. Damir’s lips found hers as he continued to stroke her until, with a small cry, she came apart against him, falling into him with shuddering breaths. Damir held her close as her breathing settled, his own pulse beating wildly, the scent of her enveloping him until Lily pulled away, cupping his face with her hands.
‘I haven’t…’ He managed to steady his voice. ‘I wasn’t expecting this, I’m not prepared.’
Lily smiled, reaching back into her shorts pocket and pulling out a small square package. ‘Luckily for you, I am…unless you don’t want to?’
It was hard to breathe, hard to function with his blood pulsing, with every instinct urging him forward. Damir reached out and took the packet from her unresisting fingers and drew Lily back towards him. ‘Oh, I do want. I want very much. Would you like me to show you how much?’
‘Yes please,’ she breathed, and then she was kissing him again and everything and everyone disappeared. There was just her, and for now she was all that he needed or wanted. For the first time in a really long time tomorrow could take care of itself.
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘WAS IT WORTH the wait?’
Lily waited until the waiter had finished clearing their plates and left the table before she answered. ‘Honestly? I thought nothing would beat fresh pizza overlooking the sun setting on Fire Bay, but you have managed it. This place was definitely worth the wait. I just can’t believe the setting.’
Harlequin Romance December 2020 Box Set Page 41