Just then she heard a knock on the door. It wasn’t uncommon for some of her neighbors to stop by in the evening. As the kitchen was right next to the front door, she called out to them to come in.
When she glanced up, the breath hitched in her throat. She blinked but Graham was still standing there staring back at her. How was it possible he looked even better since the last time she’d seen him in person?
“Graham, what are you doing here?” Realizing how that might sound, she tried again. “I’m sorry. What I meant to say was, is there something I can help you with?”
“I wanted to let you know that Beverly Williams has an electrical short in her kitchen. I’ve turned off the breaker and called in an electrician. I just wanted you to know in case you saw a stranger in the building.”
Disappointment assailed her. For just a moment, she’d hoped he was there to see her. “Thanks for letting me know.”
“Should I inform anyone else?”
She shook her head as she moved about the kitchen, clearing the countertop. “We may be a smaller apartment building, but people are used to service people showing up.”
He nodded. “I just wanted to check.”
When he didn’t move to leave, Alina felt compelled to fill the awkward silence. “Is everything going okay?” She grabbed a dishcloth to wash off the countertop. “I mean, is everything okay between you and the tenants?”
“It’s fine.” He arched a brow. “That is unless someone complained. Have there been complaints?”
“No. None at all.”
For the first time since he’d entered the apartment, she paused and really looked at him. Graham wore a pair of low-slung blue jeans. His hair was a bit mussed up, making him look so cute. As he yawned and stretched, his gray T-shirt lifted, exposing a glimpse of his washboard abs. She inwardly groaned at being so close and yet so far away. It was all she could do not to drop the baking sheet in her hands.
Before he noticed her staring, she turned her attention back to placing the baking sheet on the counter. Finding her mouth had gone dry, she swallowed hard. “I… I’m, uh, going to bake some Christmas cookies.”
“For Merryweather?”
“Some for him, but most are for the people helping with the Snow Ball.”
“That’s a nice idea. I hope you’ll have extra so I can try one.”
“There should be so long as I don’t burn them.”
He sat down at the breakfast bar. “What can I do to help?”
She shook her head as she got out a cutting board. “Nothing. I’ve got it.”
“Really? There’s nothing I can do?”
He seemed quite intent on staying, but why? Was it possible he wanted to move past that kiss? She chanced another glance at Graham. He appeared to have forgotten all about it. But could she?
It wasn’t like she was an infatuated teenager. She could control her emotions and do what needed done. After all, they couldn’t keep avoiding each other. Perhaps she should follow his lead.
“How are you with sprinkles?”
“Decorating is my thing.” He got up and washed his hands. “Where are they?”
“In the cabinet next to the fridge.” In the meantime, she retrieved some of the cookie dough from the fridge.
When she glanced over to make sure he’d found the sprinkles, he was stretching to reach the top shelf. His shirt had ridden up once more. She swallowed hard as she averted her gaze. This casual relationship was going to be so much harder than she thought.
“Wow. You have a lot of them. In almost every color.”
Alina smiled. “I like them. They’re bright and fun.”
“The only thing I don’t understand is that you said you weren’t good in the kitchen.” The plastic bottles rattled as he removed them from the cabinet. “Yet you bake.”
“Maybe there are a few things I can do in the kitchen,” she admitted. “I just prefer not to.”
“Ah…so the truth comes out now,” he teased. He moved to sit down on a bar stool and then placed the collection of sprinkles on the counter. He glanced up and his gaze landed on the plastic roll in her hand. “What’s that?”
She cut open the plastic wrap and peeled it back. “It’s cookie dough.”
His brow arched. “No, it’s not. It’s store-bought.”
“It’s still cookie dough.” She took a sharp knife and sliced off a sugar cookie.
“I don’t know about this. This might be considered cheating.” His brown eyes sparkled with merriment. “Does Merryweather know about this?”
“Oh, listen to you.” A smile pulled at the corners of her mouth as her guard started to fall. “You, mister, have no room to talk.”
He crossed his arms as a smile played on his lips. “What? I don’t hand out fake cookies.”
“They aren’t fake!” Oh, this man! The more he got her worked up, the more he smiled. And the more he smiled, the more she fell for him. “Your cookies aren’t any better than mine. I’ve seen the Polka Dotted Bakery boxes in the garbage.”
“You did?”
She nodded.
The smile vanished from his face. “Oh, well, you keep my secret and I’ll keep yours.”
“It’s a deal.” Alina placed the last cookie on the sheet and pushed it toward him. “You start decorating this one.”
He looked at the plain round circles and frowned.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m not sure how to decorate them.”
“They don’t have to be fancy. Just add a few sprinkles. They’ll look fine but taste even better.” She started to fill the second tray with cookie dough.
She could get used to this—used to spending the evening together. It was like they were a couple. As soon as the thought came to her, she halted it.
They weren’t a couple. They were far from it. Weren’t they? Her heart beat faster. Because then she thought of how they’d decorated the Christmas tree together. And how they’d gone ice skating together. And the kiss, oh, the kiss. Heat flamed in her cheeks. What did she call this thing between them? Because there was something. Of that she was certain.
* * *
The cookies were decorated and baked.
The kitchen was cleaned up.
Graham didn’t want the evening to end. Sure, he had reports to go over, emails that needed responses and directives to send out, but for the first time ever, he had no drive to spend his evening in front of his laptop.
His gaze moved to Alina as she settled on the couch next to the Christmas tree. That’s where he wanted to be, next to her, continuing to make her smile. Thoughts of work slid to the back of his mind.
He poured two glasses of cold milk and placed a few freshly baked cookies on a plate. With the excuse of sharing a snack, he moved to the living room. He sat down on the couch, leaving a modest space between them, resisting the urge to slide up next to her.
He chanced a glance at her. His gaze drifted downward to her pink lips—her very tempting mouth. Talk about your sweet treats. But he held back because Alina wasn’t just anyone. He knew she’d been hurt by people in her past and he didn’t want to be added to that list.
He cleared his throat. “Time to sample the baked goods.”
“But those were to hand out to the residents.”
“I don’t think they’ll mind if we eat a few.” He held out a glass to her. “And I grabbed some milk.”
She smiled. “Something tells me you used to have this as a bedtime snack when you were a kid.”
He hadn’t thought about those times in quite a while. These days he tried to keep his focus on the future. “I did. My mother would give me cookies and milk when I couldn’t sleep.”
“Did that happen often? The not-sleeping part.”
He sat his glass on the coffee table alongside the cookies. He lea
ned back on the couch, letting his thoughts roll back in time. He’d purposely blocked those memories from his thoughts.
But Alina had opened not only her home but also parts of her past to him; how could he not do the same for her? It wasn’t like she knew what she was asking. How could she know when from the outside the Toliver family looked like they should have everything? But they hadn’t. Far from it.
And the thing was that Graham hadn’t even known how deep some of the lies had gone until long after he’d stepped in to run the family business. And now he was in so deep that he just had to keep up appearances while he realigned the business.
“When I was young my parents for the most part lived separate lives. My father was all about living in the fast lane in the city. He wanted to be around for business dinners and arrive early at the office before the other employees.”
Graham had never told any of this to anyone else, including the woman he’d almost married. Maybe that should have been a warning flag to him that their relationship wasn’t as strong as it needed to be to pledge forever. But they weren’t discussing that right now. “My mother preferred the calm serenity of the suburbs. She said it was better for raising a child.”
“Was it?” Alina asked. “I mean, did you like living outside of the city?”
“I never really thought about it, but I didn’t dislike it.”
“I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. It’s like this city gets in your blood and you’re lost without it.”
“Now that I’ve lived here for a number of years, I understand what you mean.”
“So you don’t miss the quiet of the burbs?”
“Sometimes the silence just gives way to deeper thoughts.”
“And what thoughts did you have?”
“That appearances can be a front for hiding secrets.” He stopped there. What was he doing digging up all of this family drama? He could feel Alina’s curious gaze on him. It was his fault for starting this conversation. He might as well finish it. “My parents were all about appearances. My mother prided herself on being the perfect wife and mother. My father prided himself on being a shrewd businessman. And none of that in and of itself is bad, not until you let it rule your entire life.”
In that moment, he felt Alina’s touch. She wrapped her soft fingers around his hand and squeezed. “I think everyone wants to show the world the image of a perfect family.”
He turned to her. “But what happens when, behind the scenes, it’s anything but perfect?” He turned his focus back to the blank wall in front of him. “My mother was alone with me all week. My father would come home Friday evenings. I don’t know why he bothered because all he wanted was to be left alone to concentrate on the reports he’d brought home with him. And my mother was lonely and wanted his company.”
“And what about you?” Alina’s voice was soft. “You must have missed him terribly. I know that I loved spending time with my father, even if it included fixing a clogged pipe. Not one of my favorite tasks.”
Graham shrugged. “I had my friends.”
“But they couldn’t replace your father.”
He recalled the past—the real past—not the snippets he often referred to when asked about his youth. “I never lived up to my father’s expectations.”
“I’m sure you did. Maybe he just didn’t know how to communicate his feelings.”
Graham shook his head. “I tried to impress him with my grades in school, but all he could see was the one mark that wasn’t the best. And then I participated in sports, most any sport, hoping it would be a bridge for us, but my efforts were never enough. My father said you needed to be the best or not even bother trying.”
Graham glanced at her, seeing the sympathy in her blue eyes. It made him feel uncomfortable. He didn’t want people’s sympathy. That’s why he never opened up.
“Don’t,” he said.
“Don’t what?”
“Feel sorry for me. I’m fine. I’m better than fine. I run one of the biggest companies in the world.” Though it didn’t fill the hollow spot in his chest. He told himself that if he reorganized the company, overcame his father’s business errors and built Toliver Tower, it was all he needed to feel fulfilled.
“But you’re not fine,” Alina said in a gentle voice.
He jerked away from her hold and slid over on the couch. When he turned to her, he saw the pity in her eyes and it ignited his anger. “How can you say that? You’re the one who is still living in her childhood home and refusing to move out—refusing to see what the world has to offer.”
No sooner were the words out of his mouth than he regretted them. What was he doing lashing out at her? He sounded just like his father when his mother told him that he worked too many hours.
Alina gasped. Pain and disappointment shimmered in her eyes.
“I’m so sorry.” He moved closer to her. “I didn’t mean that. I… I wasn’t thinking.”
When he reached out to her, she immediately recoiled. Whatever connection they’d been building, he felt as though he’d destroyed it in one outburst.
He jumped to his feet and moved to the window that looked out over quiet Holly Lane. He raked his fingers through his hair. All the while, his jaw was clenched tight. How could he hurt Alina of all people? She was the sweetest and kindest, just ask anyone in the Stirling.
“My mother was right.” His voice was soft. “I am turning into my father. No wonder she doesn’t bother with me.”
Guilt weighed down on him. He wanted to make this up to Alina, but he had no idea how to do it. His mother had given him an ultimatum—selling the company and having a life that included her or running the company alone. His mother would never know how much that decision had cost him. And now he doubted Alina wanted him, either.
A hand touched his bicep. “It’s okay.”
He turned to find Alina standing there in the glow of the Christmas tree. He wanted to wipe away the sadness from her face. “You don’t know how much I want to rewind time and take back my words.”
“But you’re right. I am stuck here. Without any true family left, I just can’t imagine letting go of the Stirling and the people in it. They make me happy. They make me feel needed.”
“And I have a company but no one to share it with.”
Alina reached out and cupped his face in her delicate hand. “You don’t have to be alone, if you don’t want to be.”
Wait. Had he heard her correctly? Was she saying what he thought she was saying? Every fiber of his body longed for her—to be close to her—to breathe her essence in. But first he had to know if that’s what she really wanted because he just couldn’t make any more mistakes where she was concerned.
His gaze searched hers. “Alina, what are you saying?”
It was then that she lifted up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. Whoever said actions spoke louder than words must have been referring to this very moment. Because as her lips moved over his, he had no doubt what she’d been saying. Her lips were definitely doing all of the talking. And he was more than happy to be on the other end of that wordless communication.
He reached out and drew her to him. Her soft curves fit perfectly to his hard planes. But now he took the lead, heating up their kiss. Her hands reached up past his shoulders, wrapping around his neck as her fingers combed through his hair.
He no longer felt alone. With Alina right here next to him, he felt as though together they could take on the world. And for the first time in his life, he knew what it was to have someone truly believe in him.
Alina didn’t judge him as not good enough like his father had done. And she didn’t hold things against him that he hadn’t even done yet like his mother. Alina didn’t pressure him to be anyone but who he was.
In this moment, he wasn’t the head of a billion-dollar corporation. He wasn’t the heir to a mess of accoun
ts that had been mismanaged. And he wasn’t the mean landlord that was kicking everyone out of their homes.
With Alina in his arms, he was just a man—a man that felt worthy just by being himself. He felt the weight of the world fall away. And he stopped worrying about the future or looking over his shoulder at mistakes of the past. In this moment, he just wanted to savor the here and now for this one special evening in the twinkle of the Christmas lights.
They pushed aside the coffee table and then he grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch. As he spread it out over the floor, Alina tossed down the throw pillows.
And then with the lights off except those of the Christmas tree, Alina was once again back in his arms. He claimed her lips—her full, soft lips.
Santa had come early this year. Graham wasn’t sure he was worthy of such a sweet gift. He was pretty certain he wasn’t. But he was totally caught up in the moment—caught up in Alina’s addictive kiss.
And so he would unwrap this most special gift. He would savor this evening and the twinkle of desire in Alina’s blue eyes.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
OH, WHAT A NIGHT!
Alina woke up smiling, remembering how attentive and loving Graham had been during the night. Like a cat after a sunny nap, she stretched. She enjoyed the way her body still tingled all over.
But when she looked around, she didn’t see Graham anywhere. She paused and listened for sounds of the shower. There was none. He was gone?
It was then that she checked the time. It was after eight. After eight! She never slept this late. But she did have a good excuse. The best excuse.
She wrapped a blanket around her from the makeshift bed on the living room floor and jumped to her feet. She’d requested the day off from working at the Christmas Café. Everyone was meeting at the Diamond Building at nine a.m. to make the final touches on the conference room.
She still couldn’t believe she’d forgotten to set her alarm, but then again she’d been utterly distracted the night before. A smile pulled at her lips. But it soon disappeared when she realized Graham had left without saying a word to her.
What did his silent departure mean? Did he regret their night together? Her heart tumbled clear down to her frosted pink shimmery painted toes.
Harlequin Romance December 2020 Box Set Page 58