Is that a problem? he sent, one eye ridge moving questioningly, amber eyes looking calmly back at her.
Yes. I mean... Oh, I don't know. She began to brush him again.
He moved to sit up on his heels, edging closer to her so her arm was less extended.
Your fur is longer at the front, too. She could feel the vibration of his purr through the brush as she drew it carefully down his chest to his belly. His eyes were half closed in pleasure.
It is with most furred species, even your forest cats.
He held out his arms for her and she switched her attention, keeping clear of the bandaged shoulder.
"Thank you," he said, teeth flashing whitely as he smiled, Sholan style. He took the brush from her and cleaned it, putting the loose fur on the floor beside him.
"Now you," he said, reaching forward to take a lock of hair in his hands. Your hair is so soft, Leska. I have never felt anything like it before. And the color... He ran it through his fingertips before beginning to brush it.
Turn round, then I can reach it all.
Carrie turned round, sitting with her back to his knees. Across the room she could see Skai frowning over at her. He rose and began to move toward them, but Vanna called him over. The others were busy with their electronics.
This is our time, Leska, sent Kusac, putting the brush aside. Vanna will keep him busy for a while.
She felt his hands touch her shoulders and start to feel along them for the muscle groups.
You are tense. Let me relax you. He began to gently knead the muscles there and at the back of her neck.
She started to relax, enjoying the massage.
Now you're purring like a Sholan, sent Kusac, surprised and pleased.
A part of me is forever Sholan now, she replied.
His fingers moved gently just under her ear. "Do you regret it?" he whispered.
Not when your hands are as magical as this.
Kusac laughed, shifting his hands to her waist and moving his legs to pull her back against him.
Perhaps there is less of a sensual difference between us than I thought!
Carrie rested her head against his shoulder— it was becoming a familiar place— and closed her eyes. Like this, there were no problems.
Kusac wrapped his arms around her.
We need to be serious now, he sent. Vanna told me what happened last night, how you were linking in to my pain and drawing it all to you.
Carrie stirred, feeling defensive.
Hush, I know you didn't realize it was happening, that was my fault. I should have noticed sooner that the pain was diminishing faster than Vanna's drugs could act. The point is, we have to do something to stop that happening again.
What do you suggest? she asked.
I thought perhaps a system similar to that we use when working with the Courts or with the mentally ill, a kind of filter to keep the unwanted thoughts away.
You're not classifying me among the mentally ill, are you? was her tart response.
Kusac gave her a little shake. You know very well I am not, he sent, his tone chiding. It is impossible to lie to each other because of our Link. Thoughts and emotions are too closely entwined and too quickly felt. Trust the Link, Leska, and use it.
I do, Kusac. This time her tone was gentle.
Kusac was silent as wisps of memories and fears came to him from her. Then the bits fell into place.
Leska, we Sholan males are not like your men. The concept of owning a person is not one we have, it is Human. How can they think that another individual is their property? She could feel his disapproval.
Quite easily, from my experience, she replied.
Our lives are firmly bound to each other because of our Link, but I assure you that you will find you are free to make your own choices within those parameters. You may do what you want, and be with whom you want. I do not own you, nor you me.
I can choose?
You can choose.
She was silent for a moment. Could we do that filter now?
Of course. Let me place it for you, then you can examine it and duplicate it later. Sit up and face me, he sent, moving his arms so that she could.
When they'd finished, Carrie curled up on the blanket, yawning. She still held one of his hands.
He was large compared to her, she noted once again, her hand almost hidden by his dark-furred one. Her head was tilted back so she could see him.
She was small, he thought, looking down at her: childlike, barely reaching the height of an adult. Long eyelashes cast shadows on her cheeks and her throat turned to him.
She felt relaxed, with a warm, comfortable glow that made her disinclined to move. Her eyes opened slightly and she tugged gently on his hand.
Come down with me.
He stretched out beside her, lying on his good side.
Tell me about yourself, she sent, her other hand idly stroking the fur on his chest. Its texture was so soft and silky.
What do you want to know?
Have you any brothers or sisters?
I have two... he started, but trailed off as he found himself unable to concentrate on what he was saying.
The temperature in the pod was warm, warm enough for her to have taken off her sweater and opened her shirt at the neck. And she had a beautiful neck, long and slender— and exposed to him. Even the way she lay stretched out on her side made her look like a Sholan woman. Her hair, the color of sunlight even in the dim lighting, cascaded over one shoulder and down onto the blanket.
He looked better without his uniform on, she thought, his fur almost glowing in the half light. She let her hand stray lazily through the silky tide until it crept around his waist. She urged him closer.
As he moved nearer, she noticed how well he matched the curves of her body. The smell of his fur, warm and clean with a sharply musky tang to it, surrounded her. She could feel his heart beating— so fast!
For the first time, he was intensely aware of her scent— warm, musky, and very female. Despite her smallness, her body accommodated his perfectly. He could feel the softness of breast and thigh touching him. All the signals were there, Sholan and Terran overlaid.
Through half closed eyes she saw his face come down toward her, his mouth closing on her throat. His jaws tightened gently and they could feel her blood racing against them. The pressure increased and she tilted her head back further. A low growl of pleasure from him and she was released.
Little bites coupled with tiny flicks of a rough tongue rained across her face. It was unlike anything she had experienced before. She began to shiver with pleasure.
Her skin was so soft, tasted and smelled so good— an accompanying shiver ran through him. Amber and brown eyes, both barely open, locked briefly. He found her ear. So tiny, almost pointed like his.
A wave of panic flooded through her and she brought her free hand between them, pushing him firmly back.
At the same moment, Kusac realized what was happening to them. He pulled back from her, rolling up into a sitting position, radiating alarm.
He fought the compulsion, trying desperately to push it back. Any pairing would happen when they were ready, not because of their Link!
It took several minutes, but at last he had himself under control. He turned to look at her.
Carrie had been fighting her own battle, one with fear. One which Kusac, otherwise involved, knew nothing about. The intensity not only of what she was experiencing, but what he felt for her, had been terrifying. She'd recognized the compulsion and for her it had been easier to break free. Fear had been the trigger.
Now she lay with her back turned to him.
Kusac sat there, miserably aware that most of the good their earlier talk had done was now wiped out because of what had just happened.
There is a sexual compulsion because of our Link, he admitted, unwilling to vocalize lest anyone else hear them.
She said nothing.
It only starts if we touch for too long, and not alwa
ys then.
He waited a few minutes but there was no reply. Even through their Link he could sense nothing but quiet.
Carrie, I don't like this any more than you do, but I couldn't help it. I responded to you.
I know.
If we're careful and keep touching to a minimum, it shouldn't happen again.
Silence.
He leaned forward to touch her and she pulled sharply away.
Don't.
Suppressing a flash of anger, he got to his feet and stepped over her. Squatting down, he lifted her bodily and sat her up facing him, then released her.
Stop this now, he sent, his tone firm. You're a grown woman, Carrie, don't behave like a terrified youngling. Surely you trust me by now? He took her face in his hand, forcing eye contact between them.
Look at me. Remember the night in the cave, before we went to Seaport?
She nodded, unable to move her eyes from his.
I felt the compulsion briefly then. Had I not been honorable, we would not be having this conversation as this problem would be solved.
You have to decide sooner or later, Carrie, but it's your choice, not mine. Like you, I want you to want me for myself, not because of the Link compulsion. He let her go.
"Go and get some sleep now," he said. "If we need to talk, we can do it tomorrow."
"Kusac, I'm sorry," she whispered. "I know it was my fault, but everything all together... I panicked."
"It was no one's fault, cub," he said, briefly touching her cheek. "This is all as confusing for me, too. Let's just take things as they come." He switched to mind talk.
Tonight, neither the place nor the time is right. It is as well we came to our senses when we did. If we're careful, we shouldn't trigger the compulsion again.
She nodded, catching at his hand. "I do love you," she murmured, rubbing her cheek against him.
"I know," he said, gently squeezing her hand before helping her stand. He gathered up the blanket. "Get some sleep now though."
He waited for her to get onto the bunk then spread the blanket over her. Leaning forward, he gently licked her ear before leaving her.
Carrie closed her eyes. Sleep would not come easily, she knew that. She couldn't forget his touch. Echoes of it still flickered across her face and neck and she had to block the memories before he sensed them. When she finally fell asleep, amber eyes like twin suns glowed compellingly in the dark before her.
Chapter 9
Kusac picked up the hairbrush and, throwing his jacket and belt on his bed, finished grooming himself. Carrie had been right. He was shedding, though not excessively.
Not wishing to disturb her, he stowed the brush in the recessed locker by his bed and went over to the galley to use the garbage disposal unit. Vanna was there.
"Protein drink or c'shar?" she asked, her hand hovering beside the dispenser.
"Protein, though I could do with one of their coffees!" he said ruefully.
"Coffee?"
"It tastes like c'shar but stronger."
She handed him his mug. "One day I must get the chance to try it. You had your talk then."
He hesitated.
"No need to tell me if you don't want to," she said, taking a mouthful of her drink.
"For every step forward I take with her, Vanna, I seem to take three backward," he said, his tail flicking. "There are so many similarities to us, it would almost be easier if she were totally different."
Vanna glanced over the makeshift tech lab.
"Mito's coming over. Let's talk back there where we can't be overheard— and you can still watch Carrie," she said, leading the way to her bunk area.
The bunk was raised so as not to reduce the already cramped quarters further.
"Hold my drink a moment, please," she said, handing him the mug.
She pulled the bed out far enough to grab her blanket. Folding it up, she laid it on the floor.
"I hate sitting on bare metal," she said, rescuing her drink and squatting down comfortably.
Kusac joined her.
"Surely your Link helps you to understand each other better?" she asked.
"That's a knife with two edges, Vanna," he said heavily. "I'm sure our Leska Link is unlike any other."
"There may have been other anomalous Links before..." she began.
"No, none. If there had been, I would have known about them. My education as a Telepath was thorough."
Vanna's eyes narrowed thoughtfully as she stored this piece of information away for the future.
"Garras is having me seconded to the ship's medical section when the Khalossa arrives," she said abruptly. "He wants me there as the expert on Terran physiology. If you're finding sleep difficult, how about giving me some background information on Terrans?"
Kusac looked round at her, eye ridges arching up in surprise.
"So you'll be involved in the tests on the Khalossa?"
"That's the general idea," she said. "However, I need some information to justify a position on that team."
* * *
Carrie was the last to wake. When she sat up, she found the pod deserted. The knowledge that Kusac was outside came to her automatically as did the fact that the day was pleasant. She waited for a minute or two, but he did not appear. She did, however, receive a brief greeting.
Feeling a little hurt, she nevertheless took advantage of the solitude to put on fresh clothes from her backpack. Collecting herself a protein drink for breakfast, she went to the hatch and peered outside.
Kusac immediately looked round, acknowledging her presence with a flick of his ears before he returned to helping Garras. Everything appeared as it had the day before, almost as if nothing had been moved for the night.
As she stepped out, the sensible portion of her mind reminded her that Kusac was a member of the crew and would have had to return to his duties at some point, and that point was obviously now. She had no need to feel put out, but she did.
Finding a piece of log to sit on, she sat watching the others, for the first time feeling somewhat superfluous. As she sipped her drink, she began to notice how constantly she was aware of Kusac through their Link.
It was the first opportunity she'd had to look at their situation dispassionately and she took advantage of it. Suddenly, it occurred to her that this was partially why Kusac was otherwise occupied and hard on the heels of that came his approbation that she had figured it out.
Moods, emotions, and the surface thoughts of either one was experienced by both. If mentally she went down a level or two that took a little effort, not much but she would have to concentrate rather than have the knowledge at her fingertips.
She explored the Link further, finding in him his feelings for her. Though he instantly laid them open to her she shied away from them, still not ready to face what he felt.
There was a barrier, an area walled off from her, and she backed off. This was fair because she, too, had such a barrier. With so much they could not hide from each other, they both needed somewhere they could have a semblance of privacy.
A shadow fell across her, pulling her back to the more mundane world.
"Good morning, Skai," she said, draining her mug.
"Good morning. I thought we could have a chat," he said, sitting down beside her. "I gather that you and your brother are both joining us."
"It would appear so," she said, remembering Garras' warning.
"It'll be nice having you around," he said, smiling at her. "I expect that once their ship arrives, this crew will be recalled and we'll be working with another group."
"Probably," she said. Then, pinning down what was bothering her, she asked, "Why are there no insects around, Skai?"
"Uh? Oh, Guynor tinkered with my bug screen, hooking it up to a power source and so on, but that was yesterday." He frowned. "Look, I want to give you some good advice. It might be wiser if you spent a little less time with the Sholans when our mob arrives," he said. "They don't know you and they could get the wrong idea."
"Wrong idea about what?"
"You spending so much time with the cats."
"With them, Skai?"
"Okay. With their Telepath, then."
"Kusac?"
"Yes, with Kusac," he said sharply. "I've seen you two together, Carrie, seen the way he looks at you and touches you. It isn't right. You shouldn't encourage him. It's not as if he's even human!"
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