by Ted Evans
Still, even though I told her she could stay to listen in, since I didn’t know what else to say, and neither did Alessandra it seemed, there was a long silence in the living room.
It was just getting awkward when Alessandra sucked in an audible breath.
“You…heard what I said before, right?” she asked, tentative. “Just how much did you hear?”
I pursed my lips. I’d come to Wendy’s house from the office because I realized I was falling into old patterns. When things bothered me, I tried to think about them, and when I couldn’t stand to, I wanted to bury them. I was supposed to be giving Alessandra space, but I missed her and wanted to see her, and knowing I couldn’t, I immersed myself in work.
Wendy stopping by my office on several occasions was the wake-up call I needed, but I ended up on her doorstep today because I was tired of waiting for a response that wasn’t fast enough for me and I needed advice.
I had told myself that I would talk to Alessandra right after I spoke to Wendy about my decision, only to be surprised when I opened the door and heard the two of them talking.
“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop or anything,” I muttered, slightly embarrassed. “I just heard you talking and didn’t want to startle either of you. You didn’t seem to notice I was there, either, but I couldn’t keep staying still when you looked like you were crying.”
“Did you hear a lot of it?” she asked, voice small.
I hedged. “I heard enough.”
There was another lengthy silence. Alessandra kept shifting beside me. She was looking straight ahead, as I glanced at her out the corner of my eye. She seemed to have lost her voice, so I decided it was my turn this time.
“It was Rachel, wasn’t it,” I said, matter-of-factly. “Her and my mother, the reason you ran and hid from me the first time. You were afraid of the both of them.”
She ducked her head, her hands fidgeting together, shoulders hunching in as if she wanted to make herself smaller.
“I’m a little ashamed of myself, honestly, now that I think back. If I had just talked to you, this wouldn’t have been so blown out of proportion. I acted like I didn’t trust you, with all the years we’ve had together.”
“It was my fault for not calling you, too,” I said, trying to take some of the blame. “After all, a relationship has two people in it. I didn’t want to bother you while you were working so hard at school, but I shouldn’t have completely shut you out, either.”
She looked up and met my eyes, biting down on her lip. I wanted to reach out and hold her, to wrap my arm around her shoulders and tell her it would be okay, but I was holding Danny in my arms, and I had zero confidence I could carry him comfortably with one arm.
“Still, I robbed you of your own son’s first months over my fears,” she murmured.
“That isn’t your fault,” I said, shaking my head. “Never think that what you feel is stupid. It may look a little different in hindsight, but the emotions were real, or you wouldn’t have walked out on me as you did. And to be honest, I never should have let any of it happen in the first place. I should have been firmer with both my mom and Rachel.”
“But you didn’t know,” she defended.
“But I should have guessed,” I countered. “You knew mom wanted me to marry Rachel, and I still spent time with her in front of you, and without you, while you knew that. I expect you to have full trust in me, but that still wasn’t right. I should have drawn clear boundaries so you wouldn’t for a moment think I could replace you with anybody.”
That had been stupid on my part. I managed to do both, but it could have all been too late.
After my talk with Rachel, she had gone crying to my mom, who had then called me. It was the same old thing she kept saying before, only instead of sweeping it all under the rug; I confronted her about it. Her scheming almost cost me something precious. Of course, she had stopped entirely when I told her she was a grandmother, and she had nearly missed out on meeting her first grandson.
“I want another chance to make things right, Alessandra,” I continued. “I did hear you say that you would do so, but I wouldn’t mind hearing you say it to me. I was confused at that time, and I was hurting and stressed about everything that was suddenly thrust on my shoulders. I let Mom dominate me, and I didn’t speak against her, because she was hurting just as much as I was. That was wrong of me, and I’m sorry.”
She smiled. “Why are you the one apologizing? I have way more to apologize for.”
Like she knew how badly I wanted to touch her, she shifted closer to my side, and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, holding onto my arm with her other hand. She laid her head on my shoulder.
“If you’re asking me for another chance, the answer is okay. But can I ask for the same? As long as we take things one step at a time.”
I chuckled and leaned my head against hers.
“Okay,” I said readily. “And I don’t have a thing against one step at a time. It’s just perfect for us.”
Chapter Sixteen
Joshua
Ever since we had our talk, and decided to give our relationship another try, Alessandra and I had been getting along well, even better than the first time.
Aside from meeting up frequently, whenever it was convenient for the both of us, we got to have several dates with our son. She even brought him over to my home where they both slept over for an evening. It had been pretty eventful. Trent wasn’t too happy about being removed from his usual habitat and kept us up in the middle of the night.
Far from finding it annoying, though, I was up early the next morning to go to work, feeling sleep deprived, but grinning the entire time. My secretary and other people stopping by my office gave me strange looks, because of the broad smile and eye bags combo.
Everything was going well. Alessandra even finally took me home to her house, where I met her parents again. They didn’t hide their displeasure about our separation, but Alessandra must have talked to them because they were both accepting of me.
There was only one thing that kept it all from being perfect.
“I think I should take you to meet my mom.”
Alessandra looked up, eyes wide. “Huh?”
We were out on another date, this time to the park, and Trent was with us. It was early morning on a Saturday, and we were seated at an outdoor café just at the edge of the park that had opened up a couple of years ago. I was holding onto Trent while watching Alessandra eat and having a cup of coffee, with Danny’s stroller standing beside our table.
“I want to take you to meet my mom,” I reworded my statement because she was staring at me, dumbfounded. “I think it’s about time she meets you again.”
Alessandra sat back in her chair, her eyes intent on mine. Her expression was unsettled.
“Um, do you think that’s the best idea?” she asked, unsure.
I nodded firmly. “Definitely. I haven’t talked to her since we argued. She’s had more than enough time to think things through. And this is important if we’re going to move forward because it’s something that bothered you before.”
“What if your mom and I just can't get along, though?”
“I’m not asking you to get along with her. You can't force some things. But I intend to marry you, and I would love for her to be at the wedding, instead of refusing to attend because she still doesn’t support us.”
Her mouth dropped open, and she gaped at me. Then, she laughed.
“When did I say I would marry you? I don’t remember you even asking.”
She was teasing, but there was an undeniably happy look on her face.
I arched an eyebrow. “The only part of it that’s still a surprise is the when. I always intended to marry you, Alessandra. I’m sure I told you already.”
Her cheeks blushed a lovely pink. “That was back when we were both in high school; you could have changed your mind in that time.”
I let Alessandra finish eating. She didn’t give a confirmation, but I knew she was okay wi
th it. I paid the bill, then handed Trent back to his mother so she could feed him, with a blanket covering them both. While they were busy, I put in a call to my mom to let her know I wanted to meet her for lunch, and I’d be bringing a guest.
Then, the three of us went to have fun. Before we knew it, it was time. We made our way to my car, and I drove us to my house. The whole drive, Alessandra was stiff in her seat, though she would occasionally fidget; she would clasp and unclasp her hands, tap her fingers on her thighs, or start restlessly moving her legs around before she realized she was doing it, then stopped.
I knew it had to be difficult, but we were already on the way, and she wasn’t saying anything more about it. With some light traffic on the way, we made it in a little over half an hour.
“This is my first time being here,” Alessandra murmured as I stopped the car in front of the gates, waiting as they slowly pulled open. “It’s way bigger than Wendy’s place.”
I glanced at her. “It’s your fault, Mom probably had a hand in it, right?”
She pursed her lips. “Well, she was disapproving of me from the moment she met me. She just tolerated me while we were in high school, and after we graduated, she wouldn’t even do that. I knew the atmosphere would be awkward.”
We rode up the driveway, leaving the gates to close behind us. I got out of the car first and moved to remove Trent from his baby seat in the back. Then, holding Alessandra’s hand, we walked into the house.
I had been home recently, and it was where I grew up, so none of it seemed interesting to me. Alessandra, however, kept looking around.
“Wow,” she murmured. “It’s bigger than I thought it would be.”
I chuckled. “Should I take that as a compliment?”
She stuck out her tongue at me.
I led us to the parlor where mom loved to spend most of her time, and we found her there. It was a reasonably large room, with a dining table for six set near the extensive collection of windows. On the inside of the room to one corner was a fireplace, surrounded by a couch, a love seat and some single seats. There was a larger, more formal dining room, but when it was just us close family, we usually dined in here.
Mom was seated on the couch, and when she noticed us come in, she stood up to receive us.
“Joshua… Alessandra. Please, come in, both of you.”
I could sense Alessandra’s hesitance. She had stopped, and when I walked forward, I had to tug on her hand a little before she would follow me.
“Hey, Mom,” I said, subdued. “Sorry for intruding.”
Her eyes landed on Alessandra, before quickly fleeting off. Her expression was composed, but I thought I saw the emotion in her eyes for a second that I had never seen my mother display before.
“You could never intrude, Joshua, you know this will always be your home. Lunch will be served not too long from now, so would you like to move over to the table now, or wait?”
I glanced at Alessandra, who just shrugged.
“Let’s sit here first. We can relocate after they’re done the serving,” I decided.
They both nodded. Mom sat back down, and I pulled Alessandra over to the love seat with me.
Mom’s eyes fell to the bundle I held protectively around my chest. I saw her tremble a little as she took in a deep breath.
“Is…”
Her voice was quiet, and it trembled even on that one word. I knew what she wanted to ask though, and I repositioned Danny so that she could see him better.
“It’s your grandson. Would you like to hold him?”
She hesitated, before tentatively holding out her arms.
“Can I?”
When she asked, she was looking at Alessandra instead of me. I glanced at her as well. Her expression was carefully blank, but she readily nodded her acceptance. I got up and moved over to Mom, and she took Trent into her arms. She looked at him in awe, and I found myself smiling.
“He looked a lot like you when you were a baby,” she said, a tiny smile curving her lips. “The same large deep blue eyes, pale blond hair. It reminds me so much of your father.”
That last bit was whispered. I could feel Alessandra tense beside me, and I squeezed the hand I held in mine. When Mom looked up, her eyes were misty. When she smiled, her lips trembled.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Sorry about a lot of things. I’m sorry that your father will never get to meet your son, and I’m sorry for the problems I helped cause between you two. I shouldn’t have done any of what I did in the past, and Alessandra… I know I was horrible to you, but I honestly thought I was doing the best I possibly could for my son, especially once I was left alone.”
I hadn't seen my mom this way, ever. Even during the funeral, she had kept calm and relaxed. That wasn’t to say that she hadn't been affected by any of it, but Mom wasn’t the kind of person to quickly show her emotions around others.
We could both tell she was sincere. I glanced at Alessandra, and her own eyes were looking a little misty as well.
“I can't say I understand,” Alessandra said. “Or that I can forgive you for everything immediately.”
Mom nodded in understanding.
“But,” she continued. “If you don’t mind, I would like to go one step at a time.”
Chapter Seventeen
Alessandra
I stepped slowly out of the wide-open gates, ignoring the crowds that moved around me. I was in a daze, but not so much that I didn’t notice the very familiar car parked outside. He must have seen me as well because Joshua stepped out of his car. I smiled and hurried over to him.
“You’re here,” I chirped, happily throwing myself into his arms.
Joshua chuckled. “I told you I’d be here for you, didn’t I? This is an important day for you, after all. You’re finally going to graduate! Congratulations.”
He ducked his head, and I tilted mine up to accept his kiss, but then I mock scowled at him.
“You do know I’m not done, right? The school part is finished, but I need to prepare for my bar exam. There’s still a long way before I can practice law.”
“Don’t worry about that. We’ll all be rooting for you. And you’re so smart; it shouldn’t take too long.”
He said it with full confidence, and I knew my parents would feel the same way. I didn’t think I deserved it, but I was happy knowing I had it nonetheless. It hit me again that after nearly two years I was finally going to graduate from law school, and I jumped him in another hug as I laughed.
This was a moment that I had been waiting on for so long. Graduation day was still some time ahead, but I had gotten back my final results, and I confirmed my name was on the graduation list. Then, I would have to start reading up for the bar exam, but in the meantime, I planned to look for an internship position.
It meant less time with Joshua and our son, but I couldn’t be happier with the outcome.
“Did you bring the little guy with you?” I asked, pulling away abruptly as I thought of our son.
I’d had to be focused on school. While I didn’t let it consume me, it still took up most of my time. There had been times when my parents couldn’t look after him while I was busy, but between Joshua and his mom, Trent had been sought after while I was working.
Now that I had time, I was going to spoil him to my heart’s content, until I found a position at a firm or office, and I’d have less time with him again.
I looked through the car window but didn’t see anything in the back seat.
“Sorry,” Joshua said when I looked back to him in disappointment. “I thought about bringing him, but then I thought we could go out to eat as a quick celebration, then I’ll take you home so you can see him. Wendy’s there, helping Mom look after the kids.”
I wanted to go and see our son immediately…but since I had Joshua right in front of me, I didn’t want to let him go, either. Besides, I had been so nervous this morning that I left home without breakfast, and a meal sounded terrific right about then.
“Where did you have in mind?” I asked.
“Hmm, there’s this nice little café I passed on the way here. Why don’t we stop by there? It looked popular, so their stuff has to be good.”
I shrugged. “Fine by me.”
He took my hand and led me around the car, then opened the passenger side door for me. I grinned as I sat inside, then watched him hurry around the front to get in on his side.
Everything with Joshua had been excellent the past several months. After I put my insecurities to bed, I had been so much happier than before. I was a step closer to my dream of being a lawyer, and the support from my friends, who I’d also reconnected with, my family, and Joshua, I wasn’t sure I would have passed so quickly after being away for nearly two years.
I considered it a miracle.
“Here we are,” Joshua said after not too long.
It was close to the school, though I’d never noticed before, probably because I hadn't looked much at the world around me back then. It was a beautiful, small place with large front glass windows, brown interior with small tables seated for two placed outside and inside. As Joshua had said, the area looked pretty popular, I was almost worried we wouldn’t get a table, but a waiter saw us standing in the doorway and led us to a free one.
On the table were the menus. We picked them up, and I decided to indulge myself just this once. I picked something a little heavy and added a sweet drink and dessert. Joshua went along with me and ordered to match.
“Are you sure you’re going to be able to finish it all?” he asked after we’d placed our orders.
I giggled. “Don’t underestimate a girl’s appetite, Joshua. I’ve been holding back on food because I was anxious, you know? Besides, I don’t let myself eat like this all the time.”
The food arrived surprisingly fast. We didn’t even have much time to chat before the waiter was back with our orders. He set the food and drinks down, then made a short bowing nod.
“I’ll be back with your dessert later, sir, ma’am,” he said, then left.
I looked at the plate in front of me. The food looked so good; I could feel my mouth water. Impatiently, I picked up my fork, stabbed at some of the food, and brought it to my mouth. I paused for a second to take in the different flavors before I chewed, and I moaned.