Jaden thanked Jessie once again and retrieved the large manila envelope, tucking it safely under her arm as they shook hands and said their goodbyes. Arriving back home, she paid the cab fare and shuffled up to the apartment, each footstep feeling like she’d walked a hundred miles. As she opened the door, Jaden found Tasha sitting in front of the computer.
“Hey, girl,” Tasha’s happy voice rang through the condo. “How was Pennsylvania? I want to know everything. Is Ivan as burly as I think he is? Did you guys get it on in the woods? How was his family? Did you like his sister? Is his brother cute?”
“It was,” Jaden said, “the best three days of my life.”
“Then why the hell do you have that look on your face? Why are you just standing there? You’re acting all weird—and why was there a half-eaten turkey sandwich sitting in front of the computer when I got up? I know how much you hate wasting—”
“Tasha,” Jaden said, interrupting the barrage of questions. “If you had to choose between a lifelong dream and a surprise miracle, what would you do?”
Tasha opened her mouth, then closed it. She studied Jaden for a moment and said, “Well, a lifelong dream is something you’ve worked and worked for, hoping to achieve. A miracle is a random coincidence that works in your favor. If I had to choose between the two, I’d pick the dream, because a dream can only come true once. Miracles happen every day.”
Jaden sat on the sofa and clenched her fists, trying to hide the trembling that was slowly taking control of her body. “Tasha, they just selected me to become the chef on a new show on Bravo, and they want to me to move to LA. I have to be there in two weeks to start filming,” she said. “This is what I’ve always wanted—it’s my dream come true.”
“Oh, my God! Jaden! That’s—wait, so why are you so sad? Hell, I’d be doing back flips. We should celebrate!”
“Because I don’t think Ivan will be coming along for the ride,” Jaden said, shaking her head.
“Oh? Why do you think that?” Tasha asked, her voice full of compassion. “I’m sure the two of you will figure something out.”
“I don’t know…I just don’t know.” Jaden sighed and sniffed, wiping a tear from her eye. “While we were in Pennsylvania we talked about his past relationships and why they didn’t work out. Ivan said he’d never risk a friendship for a long-distance relationship ever again—and I can’t blame him. Up until now I felt the same way. What’s worse is that I can’t even ask him to consider it—or consider making a move when he’s worked so hard to build a life for himself in Miami. He’s got the new stuff debuting at the spa, all his patients are here, and he knows everyone in town from politicians to socialites to business owners. I can’t ask him to leave that for my dream. Ivan has his own dreams to follow.”
Tasha joined Jaden on the couch and smothered her in a hug. “Jaden, it is what it is. You and I both know that things happen for a reason. If the two of you are meant to be, you’ll find a way to stay together, but you have to let fate sort it out. I’m sure Ivan will be so happy for you, and he’ll want to see your dreams come true. I know he’ll want you to embrace this, not pass it up because of him.”
Jaden burst into tears and was relieved when Tasha just sat with her for a while. They rocked gently together on the couch. “I know you’re right,” Jaden finally managed after her tears had subsided. She did feel some measure of comfort in Tasha’s words, but her heart still felt ripped in two. Wiping the last of her tears with the back of her hand, she looked up at her longtime friend. “You’d better come to LA and help me get through all this crap.”
“Just try and stop me,” Tasha laughed. “But first we need to have a going-away party.”
Chapter 30
“The Scientist”
THE PHONE IN IVAN’S POCKET beeped, alerting him to an incoming text message and diverting his attention from a long, stressful but successful day at the spa. Pushing his white coat aside, he retrieved his phone and scrolled to the new message. Finally! It was Jaden asking him to come over for dinner. He excused himself from the patient waiting in the exam room for a moment.
Ivan read the message again. He’d made several attempts over the past few days to make plans or even just talk with Jaden, but she’d been busy—and a quieter than usual—since their return. He hadn’t seen her since he’d dropped her at home on the way back into town, and their rapid-fire text messages, both dirty and sweet, had dwindled to sporadic one-liners. Work had demanded her attention before, but this time she seemed distant, not just stressed. Maybe he’d scared her off by moving too quickly. They’d only been together three months…but they’d shared so much, it just seemed natural. He sighed. Whatever this was, he couldn’t put his finger on it, and it worried him.
Thinking positively, Ivan smiled as he envisioned the chance to catch up and get Jaden back into his arms. He quickly typed his response:
I’ll be there as soon I’m done working, baby girl.
Turning his attention back to his patient, a Russian VIP who’d flown in just to see him about weight loss, Ivan smiled and felt a renewed enthusiasm. “All right, Mr. Abramov, how can I be of service?”
A few hours later when he’d finished with the last of his patients, Ivan wasted no time with paperwork or tidying up his office. He hopped on his bike and motored home as fast as he could. Reaching his condo, he jumped in for a quick shower. Not even bothering with a towel, he air-dried a bit, then tossed on a pair of jeans and his favorite red shirt.
He’d had wanted to do something extra special for Jaden, so as a tribute to her recent accomplishments he’d had her magazine cover framed in magnificent mahogany, complete with professional gift-wrapping. Now seemed like the perfect time to give it to her, and he grabbed the package and returned downstairs. Knowing he was only minutes away from seeing Jaden, the birds seemed to chirp louder, the air tasted saltier, and his step felt lighter as he strolled to catch a cab.
He slid into the backseat and exchanged pleasantries with the driver, but the cabbie seemed in no mood for a love-drunk fool. Ivan contented himself with watching the scenery outside the window, and within minutes they pulled up at Jaden’s condo building. With a smile and a cordial thank you, he generously tipped the driver for the sub-par conversation he’d provided and hurried into the lobby, anxious to see his love for the first time in almost a week.
Ivan waited anxiously as the concierge called up, and after getting the go ahead, he practically skipped to the elevator. When he exited, the door to her apartment loomed in the distance, and with purposeful strides, he closed the gap between them. In his eagerness to see her, he knocked heavily on the door.
After what seemed like an eternity, especially since he could hear her pacing around in there—what was she doing?—the door swung open, and she was revealed.
“Baby girl, it feels like it’s been an eternity! Look at you, stunning as usual.” He darted in for a kiss before handing her the gift.
“What’s this?” Jaden asked, only half-heartedly returning his kiss.
“It’s nothing special, just a little something I had made.” An alarm sounded somewhere deep within him.
“Ivan, you really shouldn’t have.” Jaden fingered the corner of the meticulously wrapped gift. She looked up at him and smiled before tearing at a corner of the paper. Her eyes grew teary the moment she saw what it was. “Thank you. I love it,” she said, her voice thick with emotion.
Ivan pulled her into his arms. “It’s not that nice, baby girl.”
“No, it’s not that.” She rested her head against his chest and said nothing more.
“Hey, are you okay?” he asked as he brushed aside her inky hair. He had the sinking feeling that whatever was weighing on her mind would soon be weighing on his as well.
“Yeah, just tired,” she lied. “It’s been a long week. Why don’t you have a seat on the balcony, and I’ll get us something to drink.”
“All right,” Ivan said as he reluctantly released his hold on her. Ign
oring the knot tightening in his chest, he slid open the doors and stepped outside, positioning himself for an optimal view of the ocean.
Jaden appeared a moment later carrying two glasses of red wine. Something was wrong. He knew it. She wasn’t acting like herself. Ivan hoped it was exactly what she’d said it was—tiredness—but he knew there was something else. Every instinct in his body told him it wasn’t good. In fact, his mind screamed that this was bad, very bad.
Whatever she needed to tell him was wearing on her. Not wanting her to bear the burden any longer, Ivan took charge of the conversation. “Jaden, I know you well enough by now to tell when something isn’t right. The only other time I’ve seen you like this was in the restaurant when I came to see you for the first time.” Taking a sip of his wine, he braced himself for the unknown and continued. “You should know I’m the easiest person to talk to. I’ve only been truly mad twice in my life—perturbed many times, but mad twice. There’s nothing you can say that will make me angry or make me love you any less. You don’t need to ease me into something, just be honest and straightforward.”
Jaden looked into his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “Ivan, before we left for Pennsylvania, I was contacted by an agent and asked to audition for a national TV show.”
Ohhh! Ivan already knew this story, because he’d been one to help facilitate that very thing happening. But why was this her reaction? “Uh-huh,” he managed.
“When I got back, I found out I not only got the part, I’ve been selected to host my own show.” Her eyes shone with tears, but she couldn’t stop herself from smiling a little. “But accepting means I have to move to LA…in a week.”
Just as life flashes before your eyes in the moments before death, the love life Ivan had created with Jaden now played like a movie across his mind—and she drove the car that threatened to run down his hopes and dreams for their life together. His gaze drifted, not away, but through her as she continued with a story he already knew by heart. Ivan could feel his miracle slowly shattering like a piece of untempered glass, and he only occasionally picked up bits and pieces of what she was saying. The details were trivial, because it all boiled down to whether he would break his commitment to never pursue another long-distance relationship.
As Jaden tried to compare their relationship to her lifelong dreams and find some sort of balance, it was as if she were reading his love life’s biography. He’d had this conversation before, and it had resulted in him not only losing a girl he almost asked to marry him but a best friend as well.
“I know what you said about long-distance relationships, but—” Jaden choked back a sob. “I promise it’ll be different this time. I don’t want to lose you, and I’ve wanted to tell you ever since I found about all of this, but I didn’t know how.”
Jaden’s five-minute story had passed by in what seemed to be months for Ivan. He looked out at the ocean as his heart cracked into pieces with the crashing of the waves. He was beyond happy that Jaden’s dreams were coming true. She so desperately wanted this, which was why he wanted it for her as well. Would he have changed a thing from the second he laid eyes on her at the Winemaker’s Dinner to this moment when she was stepping on his heart? No. He wouldn’t have passed up the chance to know this amazing woman who shot guns, drank wine, seared tuna, and embodied his definition of love.
He knew Jaden had put hours of thought into the words she’d said to him, but Ivan needed only a heartbeat to formulate his response. He cared too much for the woman who stood across from him with emerald-glass eyes, pleading for him to risk their friendship for their love in a three-thousand-mile relationship. He his heart told him his decision was the right one, even though it was the hardest thing he’d ever had to say.
“Jaden, that is absolutely fantastic. I’m so happy for you and so proud of everything you’ve accomplished. You deserve the world, and this looks like your chance at it. This show is going to be a huge success, because people won’t be able to help falling in love with you. I know I couldn’t,” Ivan said, trying for a smile. He stopped to compose himself, running a hand through his hair and fumbling with the silver hoop in his ear. “I want you to know that what we had was special, something that would make God himself envious. Our love will forever be tattooed on my heart.”
Jaden uttered a strangled cry and brought her hands to her mouth. Ivan forced himself to continue speaking and willed his hands not to reach for her. “Like I told you before, risking our friendship on the chance of a long-distance relationship is something I just…I just can’t do. But even though you’re losing a boyfriend, you’re keeping a best friend. That I can promise you, and I’ll always support you and help in any way I can.”
“Ivan, I love you more than you could ever imagine,” Jaden immediately responded. “Losing you will totally break me.”
“Baby girl, you have such an amazing time ahead of you, and I love you too. It’s funny how once you’re in the midst of a relationship you change as a person. Sometimes for better and sometimes for worse, but with you…I’ve never been better. You’ll always have a fan in Miami—well, two since Tasha is here,” he added, trying to fight the sadness that consumed him. Letting Jaden see how torn apart he was would only make things worse. “I can’t ask you to stay, and I won’t. This is your dream and what you’ve always wanted. Unfortunately, I can’t go share it with you either. I have commitments here—patients, friends, work—all the things I’ve worked for. Please know I love you, Jaden, and I always will. Promise me you’ll never forget our moments together.”
With that, Jaden threw herself into his arms, sobbing hysterically. “I’m so sorry, so sorry,” she wailed.
“Please, baby girl, never apologize for succeeding. You make me so proud.”
As Jaden cried in his arms, Ivan Rusilko, a man of success and prestige, officially fractured into a broken heart. Everything else fell away as he stood at the edge of reason, overwhelmed by emotion. But he remained convinced he’d made the right decision. With Jaden pressed against his chest, they stood together on the balcony for what seemed like hours without saying a word. The Miami sun slowly sank beneath the horizon, and a cool breeze took its place.
Jaden cried into his shirt as his sure, strong hands stroked her hair, sharing this last moment as a couple. Ivan knew the second they parted, it would have to be over.
Jaden found his lips for a soft kiss, which was abruptly cut short as Ivan pulled away. He wanted nothing more than to take Jaden by the hand and lead her into the bedroom, to make love to her one last time, but he knew better. Making love again would only make things more difficult for both of them.
Instead, Jaden took a deep, cleansing breath, and hand in hand they walked inside.
As the awkward moment of departure became inevitable, Ivan fought back the beast. “Can I ask you one thing before you go?”
“Of course, anything,” Jaden responded.
“Can I take you to the airport?”
“Oohhhhh,” she uttered as a long sigh. But then she smiled. “Yes, I’d love that.”
Taking her hand in his, Ivan kissed it softly and whispered, “Jaden, I always knew you’d be a star. Thank you for everything you’ve given me.”
And with that, Ivan made his exit, a love-crippled man.
Chapter 31
“Going To California”
THE NEXT WEEK WASN’T EASY. Ivan busied himself with work and exercise, but neither could heal the gaping hole in his chest, or the turmoil in his mind. He’d promised to be her friend, so he and Jaden had been texting each other very casually, and each message made the situation worse. He longed to send her the spicy little messages they’d once shared and to inevitably end up in her arms, no matter how long it took to find an open window in their schedules. He found himself second-guessing the decision he’d made, but he always arrived at the same conclusion. Too big a risk.
He’d even thought through the process of just packing up and moving, but that wasn’t really a possib
ility. His new diet program was generating tons of buzz for the spa, so this would be a horrible time to leave, assuming his contract would even make it possible. And starting over in another city? Major career setback, maybe a career ender. His patients came to this facility to find him, and his network—both personal and professional—was here. Just too big a risk. Every scenario he played out ended in heartache. It was a lose-lose situation.
The sun didn’t shine as brightly, the ocean seemed a dingy blue, and the feeling of walking on air had been replaced with a fifty-pound weight that hung heavily around his shoulders. Ivan also realized he’d broken one of his rules during their relationship: Never listen to your favorite music during emotional times. The songs that used to spark excitement deep within him, that had helped relax and energize him, now conjured up emotions and memories that consumed him.
Since no one yet knew about their breakup, his phone continued to vibrate with messages of congratulations on Jaden’s success, as well as the usual inquiries from colleagues and friends about work, plans, and the upcoming weekend. He wasn’t interested in any of them, but Ivan couldn’t help but pause at a message from Tasha. He opened it and read through several times:
Hi, Ivan. I know it’s short notice, but we’re having a going-away party for Jaden tonight at the restaurant. Starts at 8. I hope you can make it.
Tomorrow he’d taxi Jaden to the airport, and it would be hard enough saying goodbye to her then. No way could he cope with doing it twice and witnessing the heartfelt goodbyes between her and her friends tonight. He texted Tasha his reply:
Sorry, but I have work commitments I can’t get out of.
Thanks for asking, though.
Unsure how much more congratulating he could take, and not wanting to talk to anyone, Ivan decided to take a vacation from all of it for a few days. He turned off his phone and stuffed it back into his pocket. He turned his focus to medicine and to getting himself back into his now-elusive groove.
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