The Language of Love

by Saunders, Jean

  She was so patronizing that Annette felt like slapping her. “Little English friend” indeed! She caught sight of Pieter’s amused eyes in the rearview mirror. He watched her for a moment, but she wouldn’t let him see that she was so annoyed. Instead she gazed out of the window as the car sped them toward Amsterdam, asking Pieter where Aalsmeer was situated, where the flower market took place.

  “It’s quite near here,” he said. “We have to get back, as we have a wedding party coming into the hotel for lunch today, otherwise I’d show you where it is. But I’m sure Gerrit will take you there very soon, Annette.”

  “Of course, you’re going to work in his shop, aren’t you?” Helga’s voice dismissed her as a little shopgirl, but she was more interested in Pieter’s next words. The wedding guests were going back to the Van Ness Hotel that evening for an evening party, so she wouldn’t be seeing any more of him until Sunday. Annette felt herself relax, despite a brief moment of disappointment. His eyes still watched her whenever the road was clear enough so that he didn’t need to concentrate on it completely.

  “I’m taking tomorrow night off to give you a moonlight cruise around the canals in my boat,” he informed her. “It’s something no visitor should miss. Afterward we’ll have dinner in my private suite. All right?”

  It was on the tip of her tongue to refuse and to tell him not to assume she’d be ready to go along with the plans he made without even consulting her. Then she saw Helga’s furious face in the outside car mirror, and heard herself agreeing as if she were charmed by the whole idea.

  By the time Pieter came to the Van Ness house for her the following evening, Annette was quite at home in Elena’s house. She had the same room as before, and now she knew her way around, and Mrs. Luykens greeted her as one of the family. There was a warmth about her arrival that touched and pleased her.

  Elena had said it would be chilly on the canals, though Pieter’s sleek cabin cruiser was well-insulated. Since they would be dining at the hotel later, Annette compromised by wearing slim-heeled champagne-colored boots and covered the gold-threaded white cocktail dress with her warm sheepskin coat. Beneath Pieter’s thick jacket, she could see he wore a dark suit. She discovered that the cabin cruiser was as luxurious as everything else he owned as they embarked at one of the quays in the harbor and headed back toward the city canals.

  They cruised through brightly lit waterways and quiet little backwaters where the tall houses towered darkly above, their uncurtained windows filled with the indoor plants beloved by Dutchwomen. Annette felt her throat tighten at the sight of yellow moonlight on the old buildings and the romantic glass-topped tourist canal boats gliding past them. No one could fail to be unaware of the romance of a past age here, and it was almost reluctantly that she realized they had come back to the quay and Pieter had switched off the engine. A fast drive for the short distance back to the city and they were at the Van Ness Hotel and entering Pieter’s private suite. Dimly Annette could hear the strains of music from the main hotel, and the sultry tones of Helga Jansen, but once the door of the suite closed behind her and Pieter, the sounds were deadened.

  Dinner was served with champagne, and everything was faultless. The champagne was relaxing her as Pieter rose from the table at the end of the meal and drew her into his arms. She was high on emotion and wine, yet it was just as if she stood outside herself, watching helplessly something she couldn’t prevent happening.

  He didn’t kiss her, but his lips were no more than a whisper away from hers. His hands were around her neck, his fingers caressing the skin so erotically and slowly it made Annette feel weak.

  “You know I’ve wanted to make love to you ever since I met you, don’t you, Annette?” he said. “I’ve hardly thought of anything else.”

  “Is that the reason for all this?” she whispered almost inaudibly, wanting and yet not wanting to break the spell in which he seemed to hold her. One finger came around to her chin, to lift it until she was forced to look into his eyes. Seeing the desire in his, Annette felt the breath catch in her throat.

  “We both know that it is,” Pieter said steadily, his look daring her to deny it. “Are you going to pretend that you don’t want me, my beautiful one?”

  Every instinct told her she should deny it, loudly and indignantly. Yet at the same time, every instinct gloried in the fact that this man wanted her with a passion that matched her own. And her own passion had been left unfulfilled for too long. She swayed toward him as his arms held her more demandingly, every part of her body touching his, as if they were already one person. And then he was kissing her, making her dizzy with desire for him.

  “Don’t ever pretend with me, Annette,” he murmured softly. “You’re too honest a person for pretense. Tell me that you want me.”

  “Yes.” It was no more than a sigh, and in admitting it, Annette felt a sweet release that was exhilarating for its own sake, for it was the first time she had acknowledged that she wanted a man so passionately. Pieter was leading her toward an adjoining room, his arms still around her, his voice still murmuring words she hadn’t heard for a very long time. She knew she was in his bedroom and that the shimmering dress was being gently removed from her shoulders. It was still somehow all part of the dream, in which she moved so naturally into Pieter’s arms. She gave a small shiver, and Pieter’s voice was seductive in response.

  “Let me warm you, darling.” Her head was on the pillow, and she was sinking into the softness of the bed as his hands eased the long boots from her legs. Her eyes were closed, yet she was aware of a delicious floating sensation such as she used to know as a child anticipating Christmas. She felt the bed dip as Pieter slid in beside her, and the hard warmth of his body sent waves of emotion coursing through her veins.

  It was so long since she had been held like this, warmed by another skin touching hers, and so conscious of a man’s arousal. She could hardly breathe as the sweetness of the contact between them almost closed her throat. She vaguely remembered nights such as this, and yet this was so different with the new, exciting closeness of the man holding her in his arms.

  Pieter’s lips moved gradually downward to kiss the softness of her breasts, and she found herself arching spontaneously to meet his touch. Her own response was that of a flower blossoming in the warmth of the sun, with never any thought of the dreaded comparison between Tony’s eager young love and that of another man. There was no comparison. Pieter was unhurried, sensual, taking pleasure in arousing her slowly and fully, alternating the sweet exploration of her body until he knew it as well as his own. His murmured words of love and gentle kisses had the power to make her flesh tingle like little electric shocks.

  “My lovely Annette.” He spoke softly, not wanting to let too many words intrude into their delight in each other. “I told you once that you and I didn’t need to indulge in children’s games, and I was right. You’re all the woman I ever needed, and there’s nothing so beautiful as the physical sharing of those needs, as long as love is there too. It could never be like this without love. You know what I’m saying, don’t you, darling?”

  She shook her head mutely, the woman in her demanding to hear him say the words, wanting him to love her. She felt him gather her up in his arms, and the beat of her heart quickened because she knew that the preliminaries were over. He came to her slowly, with exquisite judgment of her needs, and she rose to meet him, wrapping her arms around his neck in the joy of the ultimate pleasure. They were so completely in accord. The perfection of it made her eyes prickle with emotion, and Pieter’s face was buried in her neck, his voice muffled, yet vibrating through her senses.

  “You must know by now that I love you, more than I’ve ever loved a woman before, and you must love me too. Tell me you do. I want to hear it in your voice, as well as sense it and feel it from every part of you!”

  “I love you.” She breathed the words that had been locked inside her for so long, and again the ecstatic feeling of release came surging through her, so tha
t she held him more urgently. “Oh, Pieter, I love you, I do love you.”

  “You and I can touch the stars, my love,” he told her softly, and she truly believed that together they could. In their intimate little world, no one else existed. He had made her complete again. Still dizzy with the wonder of it, she clung to him, all her senses heightened and alive as she soared with him to the peak of pleasure.

  It could never be like this without love. His words danced through her mind and she knew it was true. She loved him. For the moment, nothing else mattered but the sweet realization of it, and a long while later, when she sat tiredly beside him in his car with her head leaning against his shoulder, Annette was still bemused with the glory of it.

  Chapter Eight

  The tapping on her bedroom door made Annette groan as she moved reluctantly in her bed. She didn’t want to wake up. She wanted to continue the dream that had finally found its own fulfillment, more perfectly than she had ever imagined. Her eyes opened slowly, as the knowledge that it hadn’t all been a dream sank into her brain. She had gone to Pieter’s private suite at his hotel, and he had made love to her.

  In the coldness of early morning, Annette began to shiver. There was no feeling of well-being or remembered pleasure, nor even the joy of discovering she loved him. In those first searing seconds of memory, she wasn’t sure if she did. All she was conscious of was a deep feeling of humiliation and anger. She hadn’t intended it to happen, yet she had gone to his suite so willingly, so knowingly. In the clear cold light of day, Annette was despising herself as much as Pieter, knowing she had let it happen.

  “Can I come in, or are you going to sleep all day?” Elena opened her door a fraction, and Annette struggled to sit up, her head swimming as her eyes took in the time on her bedside clock. The shock of it sent everything else from her mind.

  “Good Lord, it's ten o’clock,” she said with a gasp. “I’m supposed to be reporting at Gerrit’s shop this morning!”

  “No, you’re not,” Elena said comfortably. “Pieter told me how late the two of you got back this morning, and he said it was silly for you to think of starting work right away. There’s no need for you to, is there? Anyway, he phoned Gerrit before he went to the hotel, and you needn’t go in for a few days if you don’t want to, Annette. Gerrit would like your assistance on Wednesday for someone’s twenty-first-birthday party that evening, but I’d like your company until then, if you’re agreeable! We seem to have had very little time on our own, and I’ve a couple of days’ leave from the school to finish my shopping for my trousseau. Say you’ll come with me, please.”

  “Of course I will,” Annette said at once. Inwardly she was seething because Pieter had altered her arrangements with Gerrit. Even though she had a head that felt ten times too big for her skin this morning, the best thing she could have done to get him out of her mind was to start work at the flower shop right away. Now he’d managed to knock that little prop from under her.

  “Good. I gather you and Pieter had a good time last night.” Elena smiled. Annette felt the hot color sweep into her cheeks and leaned over for her mules, hoping the swing of her hair would hide her telltale reaction. But thankfully Elena didn’t wait for any reply. She turned to leave the bedroom, telling Annette if she wanted to take a shower before breakfast, she’d tell Mrs. Luykens to have it ready in about twenty minutes.

  As soon as she was alone, Annette went to the adjoining bathroom and ran a warm shower. She closed her eyes as she stepped beneath the reviving spray, feeling the tension in her relax. But if she thought she could wash away the memory of Pieter’s lovemaking so easily, she was mistaken. As she soaped her body, she remembered the way his hands had held her, as caressingly as the soft warm water. As she finished and wrapped herself in the huge bath towel, she recalled the moments when she had been enveloped in his arms...part of him, and he part of her.

  She shivered. It had been beautiful at the time, and the knowledge that she had gone into his arms so willingly, so wantonly, couldn’t be denied. But this morning it didn’t give her any joy. She was angry with herself that she had been so weak as to let it happen so soon. Pieter had said he loved her, but other men had said the same thing in far less intense circumstances, and she didn’t know him well enough to know if he was sincere. As for herself, Annette remembered she had told him she loved him too. Did she?

  It was what she’d come to Amsterdam to find out, and now she was more confused than ever. Physically, there was no doubt of their compatibility; the sweetness of the hours spent so intimately surged to the forefront of her mind. It had been sweet, but there was more to love than physical pleasures, important though they were.

  Annette dressed quickly, remembering that Elena had given her twenty minutes. She had expected to be at Gerrit’s shop by this time, and she hoped he wasn’t annoyed at Pieter’s change of plan for her. She didn’t think so, since the arrangements were so flexible, but she was still angry with Pieter for assuming so much on her behalf. She realized it suited her to be angry with him; then she could pretend to forget last night.

  She joined Elena in the dining room, thankful to find her head felt better after her shower. She wore her warm red trouser suit since the mornings were still nippy, and Elena was clad in sweater and skirt. Annette helped herself to the Dutch breakfast of rolls and preserves and thick brown bread with slices of cooked ham and cheese. She couldn’t have faced an English breakfast of bacon and eggs, nor could she have faced sitting opposite Pieter and making polite conversation as if nothing had happened between them last night! Just how was she going to face him when they met? She forced herself to smile brightly at Elena, who sat drinking coffee, having already eaten.

  “I thought you had everything ready for the wedding?” She had already seen the beautiful cream-colored wedding dress and veil, and the little attendants’ dresses, still with their hems to be stitched at the last minute in case the girls grew another inch in the meantime.

  “And what about your dress?” Elena laughed. “Have you forgotten you have to wear something special too, Annette? We’ll go shopping for that today. And I still have to buy all the important items: nightgowns and negligees and underwear. I plan to stun Nels when he sees me!”

  “You’ll do that, all right.” Annette grinned at the excitement on her friend’s face. “I never saw a bride yet who wasn’t beautiful, and it’s obvious Nels adores you. I’m so happy for you, Elena.”

  To be honest, she had forgotten she would need to go shopping for her own attendant’s dress. It was astonishing to realize it, but the last wedding she had attended had been her own. Involved in the floral accessories of so many other brides, she had made a point of never attending, even when there had been a special invitation. She didn’t mind arranging the flowers in halls and churches if requested; she fashioned bouquets and posies and tucked an extra touch of white heather for good luck in an unobtrusive position. But she had always managed to avoid attending the ceremonies. Inventing other engagements had become a way of life to her now, but Elena’s wedding was one she couldn’t avoid.

  She gave her friend a sudden hug as she left the table. Nor would she wish to miss it, she told herself firmly. She couldn’t turn her back on the rest of life because of Tony. With a small shock she knew she’d been pushing him out of her mind ever since last night. Or had he begun to fade without her being aware of it? She didn’t want that to happen. She needed to keep him in her heart.

  “Have you made up your mind about Pieter yet, Annette?’’ Elena said teasingly as the two of them left the house to drive into the city in Elena’s small car.

  Annette gave a start. “How do you mean?” she hedged. Surely Pieter hadn’t been so indiscreet as to tell his sister about last night? He couldn’t have. She began to feel hot all over.

  “Last time I asked you, you said you hadn’t known him long enough to form an opinion,” Elena said lightly. “I thought you might feel you knew him a little better by now, that’s all.”


  “I see.” She made her voice as light as Elena’s. “How could I help liking him, since he’s your brother? He’s charming and has your typical Dutch courtesy, and he’s very attractive to women, as you very well know! Are you fishing for compliments on Pieter’s behalf?”

  “Why not? It would be marvelous if you two made a match of it, Annette.”

  “You’d better not start jumping to any conclusions, just because he asks me out now and then! I’m sure he’s only being polite to a visitor – ”

  “I’m sure he’s not, and so are you!” Elena spoke firmly.

  They were driving toward a small tree-lined side street, where there were several exclusive-looking shops, and Elena stopped the car outside one of them and turned to look squarely at Annette.

  “I know the signs, Annette, and believe me, Pieter’s far more interested in you than mere politeness demands! I’ve seen it happen before, and I know my brother. I can’t tell you how happy I am that you two seem to get along so well together, and if it puts dear Helga’s nose out of joint, so much the better,” she ended inelegantly.

  “Helga?” Drat, Annette thought, annoyed at rising to the bait so quickly, but she needed to know just how much the singer meant to Pieter.

  “Oh, Helga’s had her sights set on Pieter for a very long time,” Elena went on innocently. “And between you and me, I had a horrible feeling he might marry her eventually, and I couldn’t stand the thought of having Helga for a sister-in-law. Though, now that I’ll be living at The Hague when I’m married, I suppose it wouldn’t have mattered so much. We’d hardly have seen them, but I still hope it won’t happen.”

  Annette felt a tightening of her stomach, listening to Elena’s confidence. It really sounded as if Pieter and Helga had been more than just friends until she came along.

  “Have they known each other long?” she said carefully.

  “A couple of years.” Elena nodded. “And naturally, working closely at the hotel as they do, they see a great deal of each other. And I don’t have to tell you how Helga can switch on the sex appeal with her performance! She does it with all the men customers, but there have been times when I'm sure Pieter assumed it was all for his benefit and his alone. Men can be awfully gullible sometimes, can’t they, Annette? Even my dear thirty-seven-year-old bachelor brother – and you try telling a man you don’t think his girl is right for him!”