by Jody Holford
“How did this happen?” she asked reverently, her gaze lingering on his lips.
“You took advantage of me,” he said easily, smirking at the dirty look she gave him.
“Hmm. Poor you,” she gave a smirk of her own and kissed the underside of his jaw.
“I know,” he shook his head, running his hands up her back and all the way down her silky body to her thighs. She sighed, her breath warm and sweet, like the wine they’d shared. The wine he’d retrieved from the kitchen, making her blush when he hadn’t bothered with clothes.
While his body enjoyed the feel of her skin, her over him, moving against him with unabashed sensuality that he hadn’t expected from someone who blushed so easily, his mind rattled with half-truths and possible ways to make things right.
“You okay?” she asked, leaning up a bit. He glanced down at her breasts pushed against him and back up at her face. God, he was crazy about her face.
“Anna, you’re on top of me, naked. Okay doesn’t even start to describe how I am,” he said.
“You seem a bit distracted. And serious. You seem really serious,” she commented. He brushed the hair away from his face where it caught on his chin. He stroked his thumb along her jaw.
“I am serious. I’m seriously crazy about you. You know how you feel like you were meant to be here? Like you needed to be here?” he asked. Her lips quivered and he stroked his thumb over them.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“That’s how I feel about you. Like you were meant to be here. Meant to be mine,” he told her, ignoring the knots that were tying themselves in his stomach.
“That’s how I feel too, Sam. But…” she cast her eyes down, focused on his lips, mimicked his movements by tracing them with her fingers.
“But what?” his heartbeat hard like thunder.
“This. I—,”.
“What Anna?”
“I’m not the reason for you… you and Sierra breaking up am I?”
Her eyes filled with the knowledge that even if he said she wasn’t just to make her feel better, she’d be able to tell. She’d be able to read his eyes and know. She made herself look up, meet his shocked expression, her heart hammering. She’d know.
“Jesus. No! Are you crazy? No. Not even a tiny little bit,” he growled, flipping her onto her back quickly enough to make her head spin. He looked down at her with such a fierce expression that her lungs froze. Her breath caught.
“I just—”.
“Listen to me. The only thing you’re responsible for is making me realize how much my life was missing. You’re responsible for making me smile every damn day whether I see you or not. All I have to do is think about you and my day gets better,” he interrupted, making her cheeks scrunch up in an effort to not cry.
“Sam,” she whispered, touching his strong jaw, smoothing her hand over the stubble on his chin and cheek.
“You’re the reason I want more, Anna. More than I’ve ever wanted, with anyone,” he whispered, kissing her, his eyes watching her, hungry and sure. She couldn’t think of what to say. She couldn’t think. It was all too much to take in so she wrapped her arms tightly around him, fought off the tears, and tried to use her lips, her hands, and her body to show him that she felt exactly the same.
“He’s a no-good, slick talking, lying, premature–”
“Jordan!” Anna cut her off but couldn’t hold back the laugh. Jordan pissed was a sight to behold, or hear. She rolled out pie dough while Jordan inhaled and exhaled audibly.
“I’m sorry. It’s just, he was supposed to miss me, you know?”
“Honey, he’s never given you what you’ve given him,” Anna said gently, putting a little more flour on her roller. Apparently pie dough was sticky.
“I know,” Jordan sighed heavily and Anna’s heart hurt for her friend. Her “boyfriend” had been relieved when she’d told him she couldn’t be with him for Christmas because he had made plans.
“I’m making pie,” Anna tried to sound enthusiastic while changing the subject.
“Um, should I be happy about this? Will it be edible?”
“Very funny. Be nice or none for you.”
Grabbing the little round pastry cutters she’d found at the one grocery store in town, she made circles that she hoped would eventually be tarts.
“Your brother informed me that I have a plane ticket waiting,” Jordan told her.
“Just now?”
“Yesterday. He came by with it. Said he’d gotten busy. I said I bought my own and you should have seen the look on his face,” she laughed.
“You didn’t!”
“Well, I didn’t buy my own because I know your dad and brother but it was fun letting him think I had,” Jordan replied, her voice far happier than when Anna had called.
“I can’t wait to see you,” she said, transferring the mini shells into the tart pan.
“Me too. How’s it going there?”
“So good. Everything is ready. I just need the company.”
“How’s sexy neighbor?”
“Single.”
“What?” Jordan gasped and Anna heard the sound of liquid spray out her friend’s mouth.
“Mm-hm,” Anna murmured.
“Are you doing him?”
“For goodness sakes Jordan!”
One of the pie shells ripped and she tossed the scraps into the sink.
“Is he good?”
“Jordan!”
“Fine. You can save the details for when we’re together but daddy and big brother will be close by,” Jordan grumbled. Anna laughed.
By the time Sam finished work and came over, which he’d done for the last four nights in a row, she had yummy smelling, hardly burned apple and lemon tarts lining her counters. He let himself in and she felt her stomach flip-flop with anticipation. They’d spent the evenings watching, and not watching, their favorite Christmas movies. She helped him wrap the last of his presents and he helped her set up a proper shelf in her closet for her shoes. After he’d gotten over the shock of seeing how many pair she owned.
“Something smells good,” he said, coming up behind her in the kitchen and wrapping his arms around her. “Besides you. Actually, you smell like lemon.”
She smiled and leaned against him, craning her neck so she could kiss him. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers making them, and other areas, tingle.
“And you have flour on your nose,” he smiled, brushing it off with his finger.
She laughed it off easily, like she did most things. She was the only woman he knew that didn’t fret about her appearance. Not in the morning when he woke up to her, as he’d had the pleasure of doing for the last few days, or when she noticed she wore mismatched socks, or didn’t have make-up on. Along with being sexy, sweet, and determined, she had a graceful self-confidence that knocked him flat. She turned in his arms and pressed her lips to his again, taking her time.
“You hungry?” she asked, backing up to clean up her mess.
“Mmhmm,” he replied, moving closer again to nuzzle her neck. She laughed.
“I didn’t mean that. I was going to make some pasta,” she replied, tipping her neck so he could press kisses along her shoulder.
“Well, actually,” he replied, turning her to face him again, “my mom is having this open house thing that she does every year. I don’t usually go but Melissa…let’s just say my mom would really like me to come. With you.”
Her face brightened like he’d bestowed jewelry at her feet and he had to wonder if he hadn’t described his family well enough.
“Do you want me to go with you?” she asked, taking her flour covered apron off to reveal a blue and white t-shirt that read ‘I got Smurfed’ and had a picture of the Smurfette character he remembered from childhood. His eyes found hers again.
“Anna, I don’t just want you to go with me. I don’t want to go without you. I’m finding I feel that way about more and more things lately,” he replied, reaching out to push her hai
r away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. She had flour on her cheek too that he wiped off with a smile. The smile on her face was stealing his breath and making his eyes burn.
“Sam,” she whispered, her hand coming up to grasp his wrist. The emotion in her eyes just about choked him. He hadn’t found one moment in the last four days that he could look into those eyes and tell her what an idiot she’d fallen for; it would break her heart and he couldn’t.
He kissed her to stop her from saying anything more. He tried to lighten the mood and the intensity that was always present between them.
“You should probably change your shirt. Unless you want to tell my mom what it means,” he smiled. She smiled back but her eyes were wet. Another twist on his heart. He could see everything she felt in her eyes. They were as expressive and unguarded as the rest of her and he wanted so badly to tell her he felt the same but until he’d told her the truth, he wouldn’t. After Christmas. He kissed her again, harder, distracting them both but not enough to make him forget that he didn’t deserve her love.
Sam had been quiet on the drive over to his parent’s house. She’d thought of asking him what was wrong or if anything was but she was too focused on the butterflies in her stomach at the thought of meeting his family.
“You’ll be meeting my family in a couple days and I’m meeting yours tonight,” she said into the quiet of the truck when he parked behind a car on the street lined with vehicles. He turned in his seat and looked at her through the darkness.
“Technically you’ve already met my family.” He reached for her hand across the armrest that divided the seats. She let him tuck it inside his, absorbing his heat while he absorbed her nerves.
“Not your parents. Not your other sisters,” she said.
She looked out the window at the Christmas beauty that was everywhere. The street was lined with a mix of Victorian and Tudor style homes, grand and welcoming. Lights adorned every home, some more than others. Trees lined the streets along with a number of vehicles that Anna suspected belonged to his parent’s guests, which suggested there were many. Snow was piled on the sides of the street and the road had clearly been freshly plowed.
People were walking toward a gorgeously decorated home, one of the Tudors and Anna turned to ask if that was where he’d lived as a boy. She was caught off guard by the hunger in his gaze. Somehow, when she’d been being his friend and not paying close enough attention, she’d handed over her heart and she couldn’t staunch the flow of panic or exhilaration that battled in her stomach. She’d never been one to ignore her feelings or avoid sharing them but she’d never really felt this much this fast.
A loud banging on his window made her squeak and jump but she didn’t feel so bad since Sam jumped too. Mind you, he didn’t squeak.
“Son of a bitch, Jenny!” he roared, rolling his window down for the laughing pixie-looking woman outside. Jenny bent over so Anna couldn’t see her but she could hear her choking on loud, raucous laughter. She stood again, took one look at the exasperated look on her brother’s face and doubled over again. Another, identical, woman popped up beside the now hysterical Jenny. Her adorably angular face, framed by a black pixie cut, was a study in amusement. She smiled warmly at Anna before speaking to Sam.
“Hey bro,” she smiled, her red lips almost glowing in the dark.
“Lauren,” Sam ground out and Anna wondered how he could tell them apart in the dark. Jenny stood and tried to look suitably penitent. Lauren knocked her with her jacket covered shoulder.
“Hi,” Lauren said around Sam’s glare, “I’m Lauren. The nicer one.”
“Hey! I’m nice. Tell me that wasn’t funny!” Jenny giggled. Her eyes met Anna’s and she noticed a flash of sincere regret. “Sorry if I scared you. I didn’t actually see you, just Sam’s truck.”
Anna’s heart was still jackhammering in her chest but she could see the amusement factor as easily as she could see the comfortable relationship the siblings clearly shared.
“I’m fine,” Anna assured them all.
“I’m not. You scared the hell out of me,” Sam growled. He rolled up his window. “Sorry. Jenny thinks she’s funny but we’re pretty sure she’s just on the wrong side of crazy.” He leaned over and kissed her smiling lips.
“They’re adorable. Nothing to be sorry about. You haven’t met my family yet. Or Jordan. She will probably hit on you, by the way,” she warned. Jordan would never hurt her in any way but asking her not to flirt with a man was the equivalent to expecting her not to breathe.
“Won’t matter. I’m taken,” he replied earnestly. Her chest tightened and warmth seeped through her making her feel lightheaded.
“Is that so?” she uttered. He leaned in until his lips were brushing her ear, making her skin buzz. “It’s so.”
A loud smack startled them again and after the predictable jump in their seats they turned to see a snowball squashed on his windshield and one twin yanking the other up the driveway while Jenny waved at them.
“There’s two. My mom wouldn’t notice if I offed one of them right?”
“I think she might,” Anna laughed, giving him a quick and fun kiss on the cheek and getting out of the car with far less nerves than she’d had when they pulled up to the house.
Anna was pulled into the festivities like a member of the family. Melissa hugged her and told her it was so nice that she came. Her husband Andy, handsome in his dress slacks and shirt, was equally welcoming and Brianna and Nick both gave her hugs like they were long lost friends. Jenny and Lauren introduced themselves properly and Anna laughed at the way their mom – Maria she’d insisted, scolded them for scaring their brother’s girlfriend. She blinked at the terminology and tried not to giggle like a high school girl. Sam shrugged helplessly as his family greeted her warmly. Melissa looked more like their father, as did Sam. Tall, with wavy medium dark hair, greying slightly at the sides, he laughed when Anna tried to shake his hand when being introduced.
“Don’t be silly, girl,” he boomed, pulling her into his arms and giving her a hearty hug. Anna felt lost in sea of his bright red Christmas sweater that smelled pleasantly of his cologne. Leaning back, his hands looking massive on her slight arms, he looked her up and down then grinned at his son.
“Well done,” he beamed.
“Jesus, dad. She’s not a prize cow at auction,” Sam muttered, turning red. Anna enjoyed seeing him blush for a change.
“I’m not?” she asked with mock disappointment. He just shook his head and said he was going to get a drink. Anna saw Kelly and, presumably, Bruce across the room and waved. Kelly waved back enthusiastically before popping something into her husband’s mouth. Anna’s heart squeezed at the look Bruce was giving his wife and she realized that there were many different ways to belong.
Sam’s mother pointed out a few guests that she thought Anna might find of interest: a few other teachers, the local mechanic, and the cousins that made seriously good pizza. Maria was more subtle than her husband both in dress and action. Her Christmas sweater was pale green with snowmen dancing on the front. She had lighter hair than any of her children, making Anna suspect the jet black that adorned the twins’ locks was from a bottle. Still, it was striking, as they were flitting between the guests, their laughter heard over the din.
“I’m very glad you could come, Anna,” Maria said.
“Thank you for inviting me,” Anna replied politely, feeling her nerves resurface.
“Sam said you’ve bought the house beside him and that your mother grew up there. Is that correct?” Maria asked, offering Anna some punch. Anna nodded yes and Maria scooped them both a glass.
“Yes. I couldn’t resist. I love the idea of knowing that she once walked the same floors I do now,” Anna revealed, taking a sip.
“I lost my mother just last year. Not an easy thing at any age,” Maria shared. Anna’s heart squeezed.
“I’m sorry,” she offered, surprised that Sam had obviously spoken of her to his family.
> “Thank you. Your grandmother was my high school English teacher. I didn’t know your mom well. Just enough to say hi when we passed in the hall. You look a great deal like her,” Maria said and Anna’s eyes widened.
“You knew her? And my grandmother?” Her grandparents had both died before she was ten so she’d never had a chance to know her mother’s side of the family at all. Sophia had been an only child and Anna felt desperate to know more.
“Yes. She was strict but fair. Most of the students loved her even if they hated English class,” Maria reminisced, moving closer to Anna and rubbing her arm comfortingly. Anna smiled as she bit back tears. Another little piece.
“Your mom kept to herself. No one was surprised when she left this town. She was one of those girls who seemed destined for more than small town life,” Maria said thoughtfully, her eyes tracking the movement of her guests. Sam waved from where he stood talking to his father and she raised her hand, warmth and affection washing over her, surrounding her like a blanket.
“I found her journals,” Anna shared quietly, looking at Maria.
“Oh, what a treasure those must be,” Maria sighed.
“Thank you,” Anna whispered.
“For what, dear?” Anna shook her head, bit the inside of her cheek but couldn’t stop the tears from welling up in her eyes.
“For telling me and sharing a bit of them with me,” she sniffed. Maria wrapped her arm around Anna and swayed slightly from side to side.
“Oh, sweetheart. My pleasure. You go enjoy your night and come back anytime you want. I’ll dig out my old yearbooks if you’ll promise not to laugh at my hairdos,” she laughed affectionately. The thought of doing that made happiness dance around in her chest. Maria excused herself just as Sam was heading back over to her side. He took her punch glass and drank the rest of it then refilled it and handed it back to her with a curious look on his face.
“Did my mother ask what your intentions are?” he joked. Anna blinked the moisture from her eyes, grateful tears didn’t fall.
“She knew my mom. Not well. But she knew her and my grandmother. My grandma actually taught her in high school,” Anna marveled.