by Jody Holford
“I bought it.”
Alex swore and exchanged a look with Sam, who shrugged his shoulders. He’d sent evidence into the Minnesota crime lab, but petty acts of vandalism hardly rated in comparison to what they dealt with daily. Stalking over to where his dad was far too comfortable, he knocked Chuck’s boot with his own.
“There’s a good chance you’re holding up the investigation. Whoever gave you the paint could be part of this. It may not seem like much, but the incidents are escalating and becoming personal,” Alex said, hands on hips. His dad knew this. Chuck stood so they were eye to eye.
“So haul me in for obstruction. But know this, I can personally guarantee you that the person that gave me the paint is not who you are looking for,” Chuck told him. His voice was steady. Years of being a good cop kept his tone even and sure. But years of being Alex’s dad kept it sincere as well.
“How can you know that?” Alex demanded, knowing that he could water-board his dad and still get nothing. If Chuck Whitman didn’t want to talk, he didn’t talk.
“Jesus, kid. Can’t you trust me?”
Chuck stomped off and Sam whistled low behind Alex. Alex hung his head and tried to take a deep breath, but the words “I don’t know” kept running through his brain.
Lucy didn’t feel like being at home. But she knew that she needed to resolve things with her sister, and she wasn’t irresponsible, so she was waiting in Kate’s bedroom when she got home later that day. When she walked in, Kate was holding a gigantic Slurpee. Lucy’s gaze locked on it as she tried not to convey how very badly she wanted it.
“Mom said you were up here,” Kate said softly. Lucy nodded.
“I thought we should talk,” Lucy said, pulling her gaze from the drink that looked like the perfect blend of ice and pop. “You can stop drooling. I bought it for you,” Kate said, handing it over.
Lucy took a slow, careful sip, avoiding brain freeze. It was sweet and syrupy—the perfect mix. Kate was sorry. Kate hated convenience stores. She claimed they weren’t very convenient when everyone went to them. If she went into 7-11, poured a Slurpee, and waited in line to pay, she was definitely sorry.
“Thanks,” Lucy said, feeling the ice slip down her throat.
Kate slipped off her shoes and sat down beside Lucy on the bed. “I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
“I am scared. I’m terrified. New York is really far away. I know I hurt your feelings. I’m sorry,” Kate said. Her voice lowered, and she laid her head on Lucy’s shoulder. Lucy tilted her head so it rested on Kate’s and continued to sip her drink.
“It’s not that far.”
“When I criticized you for traveling the world, part of it was because I’m jealous that you’re brave enough to do that. To just go out on your own.”
Lucy shrugged, dislodging Kate’s head. She turned and crossed her legs on the bed, choosing her words carefully. Kate didn’t need to know why Lucy always felt the need to stay away, to skirt around the edges and hide behind a plane ticket. Even if she wanted to tell her, it wasn’t her right. Was it?
“It’s scary. Every trip, every village, every plane ride has been scary. Anything new is scary.”
“Then why do it?” Kate asked, mirroring her sister’s position.
“Because there are amazing things to see and do and be part of outside of Angel’s Lake. And because when you’re done seeing and doing, or even if you’re not, you can always come home.”
“What if I’m no good? It’s a silly pipe dream. I like to sketch, but that doesn’t mean I should be in New York,” Kate argued without heat.
“It’s not all about the fashion part of it. Some of this is about taking a risk and following your dream. Taking an opportunity that not everyone gets.”
Kate took the cup from Lucy’s hand, stirred the contents, and took a sip of her own before passing it back.
“It feels wrong. Cashing in on who my sister knows, leaving Mom and Dad, and not following through with social work. Then there’s the center,” Kate said. She got up, went to her desk, and pulled open the bottom drawer that was covered with an NSYNC poster. She pulled out a brown, faded leather book. It had a leather cord wrapped around it twice. She ran her hand over it and came back to the bed.
“It’s not wrong to use connections if you have them. Especially in New York. Especially in this business or any other like it. Sometimes, that’s the only way to get in. Mom and Dad will understand and support you. Having a degree in social work will never be a bad thing. And the center will be fine. It’ll be great. And you did that. Because when you wanted something, you went after it and made it happen,” Lucy said softly, encouragingly. She stood to set the Slurpee down on the dresser, sensing that Kate was about to share something precious. She sat back down and waited while Kate stared at the leather bound book. Finally, with a mix of emotions in her eyes, Kate looked back up at Lucy.
“Be honest. From the minute you open it, I’ll know from your reaction whether or not I was meant to do this. Either way will be okay. I’ll be okay. But your reaction will be a sign,” Kate declared.
Lucy gave a short laugh. “No pressure.”
“None. But you can’t hide anything. Your face is so expressive.,” Kate said, still holding the book. “Hey! I can hide my feelings,” Lucy countered.
Kate arched her eyebrow and stared. “If you say so. But I can see through you.” She handed Lucy the book, and the simple act of trust, faith, and hope pushed any lingering hurt aside and left only room for how much she loved her little sister.
Undoing the leather binding by pulling one string, she carefully unfolded the book. The thick pages were a cream color and filled with enough beauty to stop Lucy’s breath in her throat. With it trapped there, she couldn’t speak. She looked up from the images and into Kate’s eyes. Lucy watched her sister tear up slightly and give a one-sided smile.
“You really like them,” she whispered. Lucy could only nod because there were no words that described how much, and the air was still caught. So she turned the pages, nodding in awe at the secret her sister had kept for who knew how long. Finally, she found her voice when she stumbled across a gorgeous dress in an array of shimmering colors that could be dressed down or up. The thin straps and scooped neckline gave it a summery feel, while the cascading folds of fabric made it elegant.
“Kate. I had no idea you were so talented.”
When a tear slipped down Kate’s cheek, Lucy leaned over and hugged her hard, still holding the book on her lap. “You have to help me tell Mom and Dad.”
“Deal.”
Chapter Nineteen
“And she can really draw, Alex! It was amazing. She had hundreds of design ideas sketched out in all of these notebooks she kept in her desk,” Lucy said excitedly while he nibbled his way down her neck. She was as cute as she was hot, and he found it quite an irresistible combination.
“Mmhmm,” he murmured, running his hand up her smooth thigh until he hit her shorts. They were stopped on a bench overlooking a spring that came from the mountain as if by magic. The air smelled like wildflowers and trees and Lucy. Her camera was on one side of her, more appendage than machine. The warm breeze shifted over them. She made him ache. Sometimes, he still couldn’t believe she was right here, letting him touch her whenever he wanted.
She was his.
While he was getting lost in her scent—vanilla and flowers, her taste—peppermint, the feel of her against him—mind-blowing, she giggled. Amusement crowded his lust but didn’t diminish it. He looked at her with mock annoyance and raised eyebrows.
“I can honestly say I have never had a woman laugh while I’m trying to seduce her,” he said. He couldn’t keep the smile from spreading as she threw her arms around him. He wrapped his around her and held her tight, breathing her into every piece of his soul.
“I felt like I had no place. Here or in anyone’s life. Now I feel like there’s nowhere else. No other place that would fit,” she said hoarsely. The firs
t couple times she had cried, it had torn little pieces inside of him, but now he knew that the hint of tears he heard were happy ones. She leaned back and looked at him, cupping his face in her hands like he did to her so often. “I feel like I’m part of something. Not just on the outside taking pictures. I’m going to help Kate tell my parents tonight. I honestly think they will be okay with it. They’ve always been supportive of our choices.”
“They’re amazing people. And a really wonderful couple. With extremely excellent and beautiful daughters,” he smiled, kissing her. “You are more than just part of something, Lucy. To me, you’re everything.”
It was the complete truth, and though he wanted this—a life with Lucy, with everything in him, it scared the hell out of him. If she was everything, would he be nothing if she left? She’s not leaving. To secure himself in the moment, he took her mouth—hard and sure—making sure she felt something. He needed her to feel the way he did.
She put her camera into its bag and then threw one leg over him, straddling him on the wide, wooden bench that looked like it was an extension of the tree they sat beside. With the water rushing and the sun shining, they were secluded in their own world. He ran his hands up her sides, moved them over her shoulders and down the front of her slowly, watching her eyes heat and her lashes lower. He could feel her skin through the thin material of her tank top. She inhaled sharply when his hands covered her breasts, and he nipped at her ear with his teeth. Her legs tightened around him.
“You drive me crazy,” he whispered. It was the most intelligible thing he could think to say before her mouth found his and he couldn’t think at all. He’d never had sex outside—other than in a tent, and that didn’t count—but he was trying to figure out how to make that happen when his phone rang. It took her a moment to resurface, to let him ease away, which gave him a surge of satisfaction. His voice was husky and not so steady when he answered.
“Whitman.”
She continued to move on his lap and laughed noiselessly at the way he narrowed his eyes, promising payback. “I’m on my way…No…I’ll be there shortly.”
He hung up and the moment, unfortunately, was gone.
“Is everything okay?” Lucy asked, getting up. Alex stood, pulled her camera bag onto his shoulder, and took her hand.
“Yeah. Couple of the boys from Franny’s got caught shoplifting at Wal-Mart. I’ve got a better rapport with them than Mick,” Alex said, leading the way out of their secluded spot on the trail. The sun was warmer when they left the cover of trees.
“At least they didn’t graffiti anything,” Lucy said, attempting a smile. “Small blessings.”
He opened his newly painted passenger door for her, stopping her just before she got in. Winding his hand into her hair, he pulled her in for another kiss that would have to hold him over for the night.
“I wish you could come to the birthday party tonight,” she told him, winding her arms around his waist.
“Me, too. Wish Carmen a happy birthday for me,” he said, kissing her forehead and heading to his side of the truck.
“I signed the card for her present from both of us,” she told him when he got in. She fiddled with his radio as though she needed direct eye contact with it to make it work. He understood that meant something to her, for them. Every little step that Lucy took toward him tied another knot in his heart strings, securing them to her. And while he didn’t mind her pulling every last string and tying an unbreakable bond, he couldn’t help but wonder how he’d ever get the knots undone if she were to leave him.
“That’s like triple-platinum couple status,” he said, trying to lighten the tension. She laughed and finally met his eyes when he backed out of the spot they’d taken at the foot of the hill.
“You’ve earned it,” she murmured, taking his hand into hers and squeezing.
It was very rare for Lucy to be home on someone’s birthday. She never forgot even one, but typically, she would send a gift early enough to arrive and, if she was lucky, managed to Skype on the day. She was elated to be here for Carmen’s sixth birthday. She spent her life trying to capture the true essence of a moment in one photograph. She’d caught many. But she’d missed out on her family’s to catch those moments somewhere else. No more. She was where she wanted—needed to be. She blew up balloons in silver and blue, Carmen’s favorite colors, while her mom hummed under her breath and checked the cake.
“I’ve reached almost five hundred likes on my Facebook page,” Julie said, pulling the round cake out of the oven. The smell of chocolate made Lucy’s mouth water. She tied the balloon and swatted it toward the living room.
“Mom, that’s awesome! It’s a great way to connect with your readers. The more you connect with them, the more likely they are to buy your books,” Lucy said, stretching another balloon.
“Yeah. My agent was quite pleased by my progress. She’s been talking about this social media for a while, telling me I needed to get on board and make some changes. But I was scared to do it. I guess I’m what you call ‘old-school,’” Julie told her.
“Aw. Yeah, I guess you kind of are. But there’s nothing stopping you from coming into this century. And I’ll help you,” Lucy said, then puffed her cheeks up and wrapped her lips around the end of the balloon.
“While you’re here,” Julie said. The air deflated from both Lucy’s cheeks and the balloon. Julie looked over her shoulder and met Lucy’s eyes. “It’s like not one of you can have a little faith in me,” Lucy said quietly, standing and gathering up the balloons.
“Oh, honey, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. It’s just hard to believe you’ll really stay. But I’m sorry. That was passive aggressive,” Julie said, coming to put a hand on Lucy’s.
“It was and it seems to run in the family. I’m here. Why do all of you doubt me?” Lucy asked, hating how small her voice was.
“Sweetie, we don’t doubt you. But you can’t deny you have a track record,” Julie said softly, removing her hand from Lucy’s on the table. Lucy clenched her jaw and shoved balloons back into the bag that was suddenly too small.
She tossed the bag and the balloons down onto the kitchen table. “Okay. So how long do I have to be here to set a new record? How long until this counts?”
Julie’s lips tightened. “I didn’t say it doesn’t count. You know we’re happy to have you here. Especially me. But quite honestly, this is a new record. You’ve been moving around since you were eighteen years old and it’s hard to just let that go because you’re back for a couple months. The past doesn’t just fall away, you know.”
Something inside Lucy snapped. No, it didn’t fall away. It stuck around, hovering until you couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t escape it. Despite all the good happening in her life, how happy she felt and how sure she was about Alex and her decision to stay, Lucy couldn’t keep pretending she didn’t know the truth. She’d tried to push it away, bury it, block it out. Hell, she’d run from it for years. But being home had changed Lucy’s knowledge of her mom’s indiscretion from a scar to an open wound.
“Lucky for you, Dad doesn’t feel the same about judging people based on past actions,” Lucy snapped. Her mother’s face paled beyond possibility. Lucy looked away, refusing to feel guilt. If she were going to continue to be judged for every mistake she’d made, shouldn’t the rest of her family be judged by the same measure? Why could Mark forgive Julie but Lucy couldn’t have the same forgiveness from her family? From her mom? You’re her mistake. That’s why you’ve stayed away.
Tears burned in the back of Lucy’s eyes, more so since she saw them rimming her mom’s eyes as well. She turned and stomped up the stairs. She had a present to wrap, and she clearly wasn’t needed. They’d handled plenty of birthday preparations without her. Wound up and overwhelmed, Lucy wrapped Carmen’s gift and then lay down on the bed. She closed her eyes, pretending that would make everything better.
Lucy didn’t scream when she opened her eyes to see similar ones staring into
hers, but she came close. Carmen regarded her with a maturity that surpassed a normal six-year-old’s. Lucy could feel her heart thumping against her ribs, but she attempted a smile.
“Hi. Happy birthday,” she said, her voice groggy. She hadn’t meant to fall asleep.
“It’s not my actual birthday. That’s on Tuesday,” Carmen replied, still staring. Lucy stretched and sat up. “Well, I guess I should wait until then to give you my gifts,” Lucy teased. Carmen frowned and considered this.
“No. You can give them to me today because this is the day we are celebrating,” Carmen replied. While sitting, Lucy thought she’d take her chances. “That sounds good. So, are you too old for a birthday hug from your aunt?”
Carmen thought about it. A concerned smile tilted her lips. With a serious expression, she shook her head. Lucy’s heart stuttered and she put her arms around her niece slowly, letting her adjust to the contact.
Despite the stiffness in Carmen’s arms and embrace, her small hands gripped Lucy’s shoulders. “I’m a very good hugger,” Carmen said. Lucy laughed, everything in her lightening. “You most certainly are,” she agreed.
They went downstairs together, joining the noisy group. Mia was laying on the floor on a blanket, giggling at Kate. It was the sweetest sound. Almost as sweet as the hug Lucy had just received. Her dad was reclined in his chair while Luke and Char sat on the couch. Her mom came in from the kitchen with a tray of cheese and crackers.
“Oh, good. You got your aunt Lucy up,” Julie said, avoiding Lucy’s gaze. She greeted everyone and sat on the floor. Carmen picked up her book and began to flip pages while Kate tried to make Mia giggle.
“Mia laughs for me because she thinks I’m funny,” Carmen said without looking up. “She’s a wise baby,” Lucy said.
“Babies can’t be wise. They just copy what we do,” Carmen replied.
Julie asked Kate to help her with bringing in the gifts, and they spent time watching Carmen open them. After each gift, Char and Luke reminded her to say thank you and to look at the person who gave her the gift when she spoke. Lucy was warmed by the genuine smile that lit Carmen’s face when she opened her National Geographic Book on Sharks.