Then a shudder brought a groan from the back of his throat. He whispered my name. Thrust a few more last, desperate times. Shuddered again. And exhaled.
After a moment, he lifted his head. He withdrew carefully, cursing under his breath as he did, but he didn’t get up. Instead, he found my lips with his. I combed my fingers through his sweaty hair, and our mouths moved together with delicious afterglow lethargy.
Then he broke the kiss and looked down at me. He was sweaty, disheveled and so damned hot with his skin flushed and sweat darkening the ends of his sandy hair. A single drop of perspiration slid down his temple.
“That was so worth the flight,” he said with a smile.
I returned it. “It was worth the wait too.”
Lee winked. Then he kissed me and got up to get rid of the condom. Once it was gone, he rejoined me, lying on his back so I could rest my head on his chest.
Now that the hunger had worn off for the time being, I grinned to myself. I couldn’t deny it was a bit of a thrill to be sneaking off with him like this, stealing away like teenagers behind my record label’s back. At the same time, lying here this way was somehow…right. Like all the thousands of meandering miles I’d traveled since last time had been leading us to this. Here. Now.
Here and now, where we shouldn’t have been because of all the people who’d click their tongues, shake their heads, fire me if they knew. I could have gotten away with being here with any other man in the world, but not Lee.
Because Lee was a porn star.
A porn star, Rachel. A porn star. He’s not just Lee, he’s Buck Harder.
He has sex with other women for a living. In front of cameras. As Buck Harder.
Buck Harder the porn star.
The porn star, for God’s sake.
“You okay?” His gentle voice and a soft fingertip under my chin brought me back into the present.
“Yeah, I’m—” I met his eyes.
Suddenly, all the thoughts that had been tugging at my chest and trying to stir up regrets didn’t make sense. In this room, Buck Harder didn’t matter any more than Olivia Taylor did. This had nothing to do with them. This was between Lee and Rachel.
He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “You’re worried about this, aren’t you?”
I bit my lip and lowered my gaze. “Am I that obvious?”
He laughed, if halfheartedly. “Not really. But now that the dust has settled…”
“True.” Running my hand up and down his arm, I sighed.
“Does it bother you?” he asked.
“Which part?” I looked up at him again. “The part where I begged you to fly three thousand miles just for this?”
“You didn’t exactly have to twist my arm.” He kissed my forehead. Caressing my cheek, he said, “I meant, being with me. Even just for a night.”
“If it did, I wouldn’t be here.”
The crevices between his eyebrows deepened. “But are you going to regret it on your way back tonight?”
I grinned. “Are you saying I have to go back tonight?”
He finally laughed again. “Absolutely not.” His smile fell. “I want you to stay. And…” He trailed off, watching his fingers play with my hair. Then he took a breath and looked me in the eyes. “To be honest, I don’t want this to be the last time.”
My heart quickened. With my chest against him, he had to have felt it, but if he did, he didn’t let it show.
I swallowed. “I don’t want this to be the last time either. The only problem is…”
“What I do.”
“What I do.” I put my hand over his and brought it down so I could kiss his palm. “You’re not the one with a contract telling you how to behave.”
“Well, okay. But you know what I mean.”
I nodded. “I know. But it doesn’t bother me. What you do, I mean.” I paused, chewing the inside of my cheek. “Maybe it should, but…it doesn’t.”
“Which leaves us with the issue of your contract.”
I exhaled. “And the media watching me like a hawk.”
“So we’d have to keep it extra quiet.”
Staring at him, I said, “You’d…actually consider this? Even with the sneaking around and—”
He silenced me with a soft kiss. “Rachel. I just flew all the way across the country to spend the night with you. Dodging some paparazzi and keeping my mouth shut isn’t too much to ask.” He touched my face. “Even if it’s on the sly and a complete headache to pull off, I want to see you again.”
“I can’t promise much in the way of a relationship,” I said. “It’s just not… There’s no way it’s feasible right now.”
One shoulder lifted in a subtle shrug. “Neither of us is in any position to get into a relationship. You’re traveling all over the place. I’m…well, Buck.”
“I guess it doesn’t have to be a relationship,” I said. “Try the friends-with-benefits thing again?”
The corner of his mouth pulled up. “Twist my arm.”
I laughed.
Lee drew me a little closer, wrapping his warm arms around me. “So whenever you’re in town, hit me up.”
“And if I’m out of town and you feel like traveling…” I raised my eyebrows.
He grinned and kissed my forehead. “I think I like this plan.”
“So do I.”
Pulling back a little, he met my eyes. “So, what about tonight?”
“What about it?”
He brushed some hair out of my face. “How long before you have to report back to the carriage or risk turning into a pumpkin?”
I laughed. “As long as I’m back before the sun comes up, I’m good.”
“So I have you for a few more hours?”
“You do.”
“Good.” He slid his hand over the small of my back and pulled me against his hardening cock. “Because I think I’m going to need them.”
BOOMING PORN BIZ IN ATLANTIC CITY, MR. HARDER?—Porn Star Buck Harder Snapped at Atlantic City International Morning after Battle Cry Tour’s Performance in Same Town
Early this morning, a tired and unshaven Buck Harder, 29, was seen slipping through the Atlantic City International Airport. Wearing sunglasses and carrying minimal luggage, the adult-film actor is believed to have boarded a flight to New York City, where unconfirmed sightings suggest he was on his way back to Los Angeles.
This wouldn’t raise eyebrows or draw anyone’s notice if it weren’t for the fact Olivia Taylor, 26, is also in Atlantic City for four shows on her nearly sold-out Battle Cry tour. Further, it has been confirmed that Harder was also seen getting into a taxi in front of a hotel just blocks away from where Taylor is performing.
A coincidence? Or is the “just friends” story that the pair have stood by for the last few weeks falling apart?
Harder, who has starred in hundreds of explicit adult-film productions, met Taylor on the set of Taylor’s controversial “You Ain’t Even Kissed Me Yet” video, which featured the pair dressed in tight leather and grinding provocatively against each other. The video has drawn criticism for being “shockingly skanky” and “a low even for Taylor,” and has especially drawn attention to the scorching chemistry between Taylor and Harder.
“[The video] looked more like Taylor guest-starring in one of Buck Harder’s videos than the other way around,” snarled Wavelength Magazine columnist Kristy Dunn, who later added, “If there’s really a thing going on between them, I’ll be buying stock in penicillin.”
In spite of Harder’s profession, rumors of a relationship between the co-stars have run rampant for weeks, casting doubts on claims by Taylor and Risen Star Records that she is no longer the wild child whose career collapsed three years ago.
Calls to representatives of Taylor and Harder were not immediately returned.
Quinn winkled his nose. “Catty much?”
“It sells magazines.”
“I think they’re selling more souls than magazines,” he muttered.
I
just laughed. Nothing was going to kill my mood today. Nothing.
He watched me silently for a moment. “You’re really doing this. You’re really dating him.”
“I am.” At least I could be open and honest with Quinn.
“And it really doesn’t bother you?” he asked. “Dating a guy who fucks other women for a living?”
I shrugged. “I’m not crazy about that idea, but it’s kind of part of the deal if I want to date him.”
“True. But still.” Quinn looked at me over his glasses. “And you need to keep in mind that even if he up and quits tomorrow and never does another porno again as long as he lives, this biz doesn’t forget. He will always be Buck Harder. Just like if you go public dating him, you will always be Olivia Taylor who dated or is dating or once had a fling with Buck Harder.”
My good spirits sank a little. Fucking reality. “I know, but…”
“But you want him anyway.”
I nodded.
“Then why keep it a secret?”
I blinked. “What else can I do?”
“Well, if you’re serious about dating him,” he said, “then I’d say just bite the bullet and go public.”
“Risen Star will never let me go public with this.”
“Unless you just do it without asking their permission,” he said with a shrug. “Let it out during an interview or something. They can’t stop you then.”
“True. But do you think I should?”
“I think it’ll be less stress for you. Less sneaking around and hiding, and maybe the media will get bored with it once there’s no more question about whether or not it’s real.”
“I doubt it.”
“Yeah, me too. And really, you’ll never be able to see him without sneaking around and hiding just to get some privacy. But at least now you don’t have to stress over keeping it a secret, so then—”
The tour bus door flew open, and Quinn and I both almost jumped out of our skin.
Rich came up the steps, and I cringed in anticipation of the third degree with a side of riot act, but instead, he said, “Congratulations, Rachel!”
I cocked my head. “I… What?”
“The Rock N Rhapsody nominations just came out.” He grinned broadly. “And our comeback kid is up for four awards.”
My jaw dropped. “Are you… Are you serious?”
“As a heart attack, sweetheart. Entertainer of the Year, Song of the Year, Album of the Year, and Female Vocalist of the Year.”
I swallowed. “You’re kidding. They…” I glanced at Quinn, searching his eyes for some sign he was in on the joke. To Rich, I said, “They really nominated me.”
“They did.” He gestured at the iPad on the table between Quinn and me. “Take a look.”
I pulled up one of the gossip sites, and they’d already listed all the nominees. Sure enough, my titles and my name were listed. “Oh my God…”
Quinn hugged me. “Congratulations, love. You’ve earned it.”
Rich clapped my shoulder. “Well done, kiddo. I knew you had it in you.”
“Thank you,” I said, just staring at the nominations.
“And if they have any taste at all,” Quinn said, “you’re going to sweep those categories.”
I laughed. “Well, I’d love to, but I’ve got some pretty stiff competition. Lisa Garner? And Tatiana?”
“If Tatiana had half the talent you do,” Rich said, “Risen Star would’ve signed her. There’s a reason Apex got her instead.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Obviously someone thinks she has—”
Beside the iPad, my phone buzzed. I picked it up and held it so the screen wasn’t visible to Rich and couldn’t help smiling again as Lee’s name lit up the caller ID. I stood. “I need to take this. I’ll be right back.”
Quinn huffed. “Who the hell is—”
“My mom,” I said, and stepped back into the bus’s sleeping area. Keeping my voice down, I answered, “Hey, you. What’s up?”
“I heard through the grapevine that you’re nominated for some awards,” he said.
I couldn’t help grinning. “The Rock N Rhapsodies. Four of them. I’m still blown away.”
“That’s amazing!” he said. “We should celebrate. You’re back in town next weekend, right?”
“Yeah. I’m flying out again on Wednesday, though.”
“Any plans on, say, Monday night?”
“Not at the moment, no.”
“Tell you what.” The grin in his voice brought a smile to my lips. “I’m going to e-mail you the name of a restaurant. I’m taking you out.”
My heart sank. “Lee, you know we can’t—”
“Do you trust me?”
I chewed my lip. “Of course I do.”
“I promise this will be worthwhile,” he said. “Just trust me.”
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll trust you on this.”
“Great. Oh, and have Quinn come with you,” he said. “I’ll pay him overtime, whatever he needs.”
“So dinner for three?”
“Nope. He’s going to drop you off.” He snickered softly. “In fact, have Quinn call me. I need his help to sort out a few things.”
“You want Quinn to call you?”
“Trust me, Rachel. It’ll all make sense when you get there.”
As promised, Lee sent me the name and address of the restaurant. It was one of those ritzy, five-star places that always made me feel like an imposter. Like someone trying and failing to fit in with the rich and famous, even when I knew damn well the paparazzi swarming outside the door were there for me. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this lifestyle after all.
And the idea of walking into a place like that with Lee scared me to death. I wasn’t ashamed of him, and I wouldn’t have been embarrassed to be seen with him, but that would only confirm all the rumors flying around. The tabloids would have a collective coronary. Risen Star would have kittens. Lee would be mercilessly hounded just like I was.
But Lee had insisted, and I did trust him.
So, at seven fifteen, Quinn and I pulled up in front of the restaurant’s gleaming glass doors. A valet trotted down the steps and took my car for me, not even batting an eye at the three motorcycles and the sedan that had followed me.
“How do I look?” I faced Quinn and put out my arms.
“Spectacular, love.” He grinned. “As always.”
I had no doubt my cheeks were turning red, and I laughed. “You’re such a flatterer, my dear.”
“Job security, my darling. Job security.” He smirked. “Besides, I picked out that dress. Would I lead you astray?”
“Not when it comes to fashion, no.”
“And don’t you forget it.”
I laughed and then got out of the car, wincing at the thick heat. Lee had insisted I wear a coat, and it was entirely too hot for that tonight, so I quickly stripped it off and draped it over my arm.
As Quinn drove off, the valet escorted me up the stairs. The stalkerazzi were off their bikes now, shutters snapping and flashes popping. At the top of the steps, I paused to smile and wave, letting them get a few shots before I continued into the restaurant. Sometimes that was enough to make them back off. If I tried to lay low and pretend I didn’t see them, that would only encourage them and make them think I was trying not to be seen.
The valet pulled open one of the tinted glass doors and gestured for me to go inside. As soon as I was in the foyer, the door shut quietly behind me, cutting off the idling motorcycles. My heart beat fast and hard. I didn’t like the idea of being out in public with Lee when the media were lurking so close by.
It was too late to call and suggest a quiet evening at his place or mine. I was here. The media knew it. By the end of the night, my twisting and turning stomach was certain, the media would also know about my relationship with Lee.
Oh God, what are we doing?
That was when I realized the restaurant was almost completely silent. Soft music played, but the usual restau
rant noise was absent. No clattering plates and silverware. No clinking glasses. No racket from the kitchen or murmur of conversation.
“Ms. Taylor?”
I turned toward the sound of my name, and a gentleman in a black suit smiled at me.
“Your table is ready.” He gestured toward the dining room. “If you’ll follow me?”
I looked around. “I’m waiting for—”
“He’s already here.”
“Oh.” My stomach lurched. So the maître d knew who I was and who I was with. I chewed my lip. “Look, there’s some press outside, are—”
“Nothing to worry about, ma’am.” He smiled again. “Arrangements have been made to ensure your evening is completely private.”
I blinked. “Arrange… Oh. Okay.” I threw a wary glance at the tinted doors keeping the press outside and then followed the maître d.
The dining room was deserted. The maître d led me out onto the veranda, which was also empty except for a single table. A bottle stuck out of a bucket of ice beside a pair of champagne flutes. He must have forgotten that I didn’t drink, but the thought was still sweet.
And at that table in a suit and tie was Lee.
My breath caught. I’d seen him in everything from nothing to a tux, and had yet to find any look that wasn’t gorgeous on him. A dark, tailored suit with a deep blue tie? Sweet mother of God.
Smiling, he stood. “Right on time.” As he reached for me, sapphire cufflinks caught the light from the setting sun and the single candle in the center of the table. He put a hand on my waist and kissed my cheek. Before he pulled away, he whispered, “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you.” I smiled at him. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”
He laughed, and my God, he blushed.
Then he cleared his throat. “There’s, um, we’ll be completely alone. Don’t worry. No way anyone will see us out here.” He gestured at either end of the veranda. The building curved around far enough in each direction that no one outside the restaurant could possibly see us unless they flew past. Even a boat would have been hard-pressed to get a good look at anyone up here.
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