by Reese Ryan
“You’ve already been to Dr. Mays?”
“Didn’t want the team to know I was having panic attacks. My first game back, this big-ass defensive end came at me and I broke into a cold sweat. Heart beating a mile a minute. Happened again in the next game and the next. Went to an independent sports psychologist.”
“Did it help?” Nate gripped his bottle, fully aware of the answer, based on the distressed look on his friend’s face.
“I’m fighting my natural self-preservation instincts every time I step onto that field. Told myself time and again it’s all in my head. That I can get past it.” Wade shrugged again. “But short of taking antianxiety drugs, nothing seems to help. If I gotta drug up just to do my job...maybe it ain’t the right job for me anymore.”
“You’re not thinking about retiring, are you?” It hurt that he was the reason Wade was considering walking away from the game they loved.
“Not like I need the money.” Wade nodded toward the wall of glass at the far end of the room with its view of the mountains and a pristine lake. “We’ve been smart. Saved. Invested. I was trying to hold out and fulfill the final two years of my contract, but maybe it’s time to pack it up and walk away.” Wade was matter-of-fact about the prospect, as if he’d already resigned himself to it.
“There has to be another answer. We’ll make adjustments. Work harder. I got a hand on those passes, so I should’ve been able to haul them in and hold on to them, simple as that.”
Wade met Nate’s gaze. “Or maybe you were right all along. Time for me to walk away.”
“I never said that.”
“Been in the league ten years, Nate. It’s been a good ride, but that’s a hell of a long time. I don’t want to be one of those guys who can’t enjoy his life by the time he walks away.”
They sat in silence as Nate wrestled with what to say to shovel himself out of the six-foot-deep ditch he’d dug and dragged his team into.
“You talk to Greer about this?”
“She’s thrilled that I’d be here year-round to help with the kids. She’s put her life on hold so I could live my dream. Maybe it’s time I support hers. She has a couple of business ideas. Stuff she’s been talking about a long time. Maybe it’s my turn to be her cheerleader.”
Nate assessed his friend, who didn’t seem enthused about the prospect. “I know Greer would love to have you home, but what did she say when you told her you were considering retiring?”
Wade chuckled softly. “She said Willises don’t run scared. We stay and fight.”
Nate laughed, too. “That sounds like the Greer Willis I know. I’m just thankful she didn’t meet me at the door with a shotgun rather than one of those Hollywood hugs.”
“Not gon’ lie, she was madder than a hornet when she saw that video.” Wade took another swig of his beer. “I hid her phone for two days to keep her from calling you and telling you off.”
“I deserved it.” Nate gripped his beer, raising his eyes to Wade’s. “What about Jake and Mariah? Don’t think I’ve ever felt like as much of an ass as I did seeing myself through their eyes today.”
“You’re their Uncle Nate. So yeah, they’re pretty upset. Jake’s angry. Mariah’s feelings are hurt.”
Nate drained the remainder of his first beer. He took a gulp of the second. “If it’s okay with you and Greer, I’d like to apologize to them. I won’t push,” he added quickly, in response to the concern in Wade’s eyes. “But I want them to know how sorry I am.”
Wade nodded solemnly. “I’ll talk to Greer about it. If she doesn’t have a problem with it, neither do I.”
“Thanks,” Nate said quietly. “And about you retiring... I know I have no right to ask, but I wish you’d reconsider.”
“Oz will be just fine. The kid’s good. Really good. Better than me,” Wade said, referring to Osgood Wells—the Marauders’ backup quarterback who’d been playing behind Wade for the past three seasons. “He went 3 and 1 when I got hurt last year. You said yourself the kid is star material.”
“And I still say he’s star material.” Nate smirked. “But he ain’t a star. Not yet. He could use a mentor in his ear helping him along.”
“Been doing that the past three years.”
“Yeah, but the past three years he was also your competition. Maybe now you’ll teach him some of the tricks you’ve been holding back.”
Wade sipped his beer thoughtfully, not denying that mentoring Oz had been the last thing on his mind these past three years. “I’ll think about it. But as for us...this thing is over as far as I’m concerned. You’re a good friend, Nate. Don’t see the need to talk about this again.”
Nate’s shoulders relaxed as he reached across the table to shake his friend’s hand.
Chapter 8
Kendra bounced little Allie on her lap. The infant cooed and giggled, blowing spit bubbles.
“She’s adorable.” Kendra kissed the girl’s round cheek. Inhaled her irresistible, baby scent. “All the kids are, and they’re so well-mannered.”
“Told you I was lucky.” Greer grinned, cutting three turkey sandwiches into triangles for the children.
“No, you’re a good mom. Wade and the kids are lucky to have you.”
“Thanks.” Greer stacked the sandwich triangles on plates and set them on the table. She sighed. “God, I miss having you there whenever I’m in Memphis. You were the one person whose intentions I never doubted. I always felt like we would’ve been friends even if Wade and Nate weren’t.”
“Me, too.” Kendra smiled, rearranging little Allie’s headband. “You were my favorite, hands down.”
Greer poured apple juice into acrylic tumblers. “I’m thrilled you and Nate are back together. Sure, I’m a little miffed with him now, but he’s always been a good friend to me and Wade. Broke my heart to see how miserable he’s been without you and Kai.”
“We’re not back together.” A knot tightened in Kendra’s throat. She shifted Allie on her lap, steering the infant away from the gold hoop she was trying to rip from her ear. “I’m his media consultant.”
Greer put the juice away and set the cups and plates on the kitchen table. She turned to Kendra. “You do realize he’s still in love with you?”
Without waiting for a response, Greer called the children down for their snack.
It was just as well. Greer’s words left her head spinning.
The attraction was still there. That was evident from the way he’d scanned her figure on more than one occasion. But was it possible he still loved her?
The resentment on Nate’s face when he first laid eyes on her at the restaurant and his aggravation with her when they met at the beach house suggested otherwise.
The one-night stands they’d had were products of their lingering chemistry, bottled-up frustrations and close proximity, not love.
Greer took Allie, who was reaching for her. She settled the girl on her lap, tied on her pink bib and fed her green baby food out of a chunky plastic spoon. “Thinking about what I said?”
Kendra watched Jake, Mariah and Noah nibbling their sandwiches and drinking apple juice. “No, I was wondering what you’re feeding Allie. Looks like strained peas, but it smells better than any baby food I remember.”
Greer grinned. “It’s one of the baby food formulas I’ve been working on. Allie here is my personal guinea pig.”
“She doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, I’ve never seen a baby so enthusiastic about eating her vegetables.” Kendra nodded toward the infant, who happily consumed the strained peas, some of which now dotted her chin. “Is this just for Allie or are you thinking of going commercial?”
Greer’s eyes lit up. “Been thinking of starting my own baby food company. Everything will be fresh and organic—shipped right to your door. I want to start it as soon as Wade retir
es.”
“What does Wade think?”
“He’s been so supportive. He insists I don’t need to wait for him to retire, but I’d like at least one of us to be focused on the kids.”
“If Allie’s enthusiasm is any indication, you’ve got a hit on your hands.”
“Oh my gosh.” Greer looked down at her daughter, who evidently wasn’t satisfied with the speed at which her mother was feeding her. She dipped her chunky little fingers into the bowl and sucked strained peas from her fingers, getting it all over her face and in her nose. Greer grabbed a wipe and cleaned Allie’s hands and face. “I’m excited about the possibility, but I’m scared to death by it, too. You must understand that.”
“I do.” Kendra took the dirty wipes from Greer and tossed them in the trash. “Never more than when I agreed to take Nate on as a client.”
“Let me guess, it was Marcus’s idea.” Greer grinned as she resumed feeding Allie.
“How’d you know?”
“Had a feeling.” Greer shrugged, her Alabama twang evident. “He’s an old romantic soul like me and Wade. We been praying you two would figure out you were meant to be together.”
“I hate to disappoint all of you, but this arrangement is strictly business.”
“Got yourself convinced of that, don’t you?” Greer shook her head. “You don’t want to tell me? That’s fine. But if you’re lying to yourself...well, that’s another matter altogether.”
“What are you talking about?” Kendra tamped down the irritation rising in her chest.
“Isn’t it obvious?” She smiled sweetly. “You’re still in love with him, too.”
Kendra glanced toward the sound of Nate’s and Wade’s voices approaching. She pointed a finger at Greer. “No more of this me-and-Nate-getting-back-together talk.”
“Fine.” Greer grinned, spooning more peas into Allie’s mouth. “But it’s gon’ make y’all’s sleeping arrangements mighty awkward.”
* * *
“You mean to tell me this huge guesthouse only has one bedroom?” Kendra stood in the living room, her arms folded.
“There’s another bedroom, but we’re renovating it. The furniture’s gone and there are ladders and paint buckets everywhere.” Wade ran a hand through his longish brown hair, which dusted the collar of his suede jacket. “Honest.”
Kendra propped a hand on her hip as she surveyed the space. “The sofa looks comfy enough. Got any extra blankets?”
“Sure thing.” He gave Nate an apologetic stare. “I’ll grab ’em for you.”
“Look, it’s my fault,” Nate said. “I should’ve been clearer when I explained you were coming along. Didn’t think about it because I knew the guesthouse has two bedrooms. I’ll take the sofa.”
“I’ll be fine here.” Kendra raised a hand before he could launch into his objection. “End of discussion.”
* * *
Kendra sank into the bubbles threatening to spill over the side of the old claw-foot tub and sighed. She inhaled the yummy candles perched on the window ledge, which provided the only light in the room. The mingled scent of cranberry and orange wafted through the space, calming her frazzled nerves. She stared up through the skylight, admiring the stars dotting the sky.
Just a few more days. I can handle this.
She repeated the words in her head because the truth was, she didn’t know if she could handle spending this much time with Nate. Especially after what Greer had said.
You do realize he’s still in love with you? You’re still in love with him, too.
Kendra dunked her head beneath the water, holding her breath a few seconds before emerging. Maybe that would disrupt the rogue thoughts of Nate Johnston roaming around the guesthouse barely dressed.
She wiped the water from her face and sat up, pressing her back to the still-cool cast-iron tub as she hugged her knees to her chest.
Concentrate on the job. Nate is just another client.
This was business. She was helping Nate and advancing her career. In fact, over dinner, Greer asked her to consider taking her on as a client once she got the baby food company up and running.
She’d planned to move her consultancy to exclusively serve athletes, but Greer was more than just a potential client. She was a friend. Besides, Kendra believed in what Greer was doing. Having tasted a few of the samples herself, she’d be crazy not to consider it.
There was a light tap at the door. Kendra froze, wrapping her arms tighter around her knees. “Yes?”
“Kai wants to say good-night.”
“It’s not even eight. I’ll call him back as soon as I’m out of the tub.”
“It’s nearly ten there,” Nate reminded her.
She sighed, making sure all of her essential parts were shielded by the bubbles. “The door isn’t locked.” Another apparent casualty of the remodeling. “Come in.”
Light from the hall spilled into the room as Nate stepped inside wearing fitted jeans that hugged his bottom and a tight gray athletic shirt that outlined the hard-earned muscles of his chest and biceps. He handed Kendra his cell phone, then stood back against the door frame, his eyes roving anywhere in the room except on her.
“Kai Kai. How are you?”
“Good. When are you and Daddy coming home?”
“As soon as we can, sweetie. We’re in Montana with Uncle Wade and Aunt Greer.”
“You know them, too?” Kai had been with his dad whenever he visited with Wade and his family.
“Since before you were born.” She smiled. “Auntie Greer’s an old friend.”
“Are Jake and Mariah there? Does Jake still have his train set?” Kai’s voice rose with excitement.
“They’re not here with me now. I’m...we’re in the guesthouse. But yes, he still has his train. Are you being a good boy for Nana?”
“Yes.”
“Did you brush your teeth before bed?”
“Yes, Mommy.” He sighed. “I always brush my teeth before bed.”
“Good. Now, no more stalling. Go to sleep.”
She bid Kai a final good-night, blew a kiss through the phone, then handed it to Nate. “Thank you. I hate not tucking him in tonight. I would’ve been so disappointed if I’d forgotten to call him before bed.”
Nate frowned, his mood suddenly surly. He shoved his phone into his back pocket. “I’ll let you get back to your bath.”
He left, closing the door behind him.
Kendra sank beneath the water, her eyes readjusting to the candlelit room.
What the hell was that about?
Chapter 9
Nate trudged back to the master bedroom, undressed and hopped in the large, rugged, stacked-stone-and-glass shower.
He lathered himself, gritting his teeth as he recalled Kendra’s words. She was distraught over missing a single night tucking Kai in.
Welcome to my world, princess.
Most nights he had to settle for wishing Kai good-night by phone, as he had tonight. Did she have any clue how much it tore at him that he seldom got to tuck his own son into bed at night?
Kai was growing up so fast. Already six years old, soon he’d be too old for bedtime stories and good-night kisses. And he was missing all of it. Moments he’d never get back.
He’d witnessed his son’s first words and first steps via a video recording. He didn’t want to miss out on any more milestones in Kai’s life, but Kendra hadn’t given him much choice.
The steaming hot water sluiced over his skin, relaxing his tired muscles and aching joints.
Wade was right; the game had taken a toll on their bodies. He wasn’t as fast as he’d been a few seasons ago when he was so explosive he could outrun every cornerback in the league in a footrace to the end zone.
He never imagined
retiring without hoisting that trophy over his head at least once. The Marauders were close to reaching the next level. They just needed a few tweaks to the defense and a couple more offensive weapons. He couldn’t throw in the towel when they were so damn close.
Nights like this, when he was missing the goofy grin and contagious laughter of his son, he gave fleeting consideration to the prospect of retiring sooner rather than later.
Nate shook off the thought. He had a plan. Two more years, then he was out. This wasn’t just about him; it was about securing the future of his family and his foundation.
He toweled off and slipped on his underwear. After a few minutes of scanning channels, Nate turned off the television and dropped to the floor to do push-ups.
How the hell had he managed to be mad at, grateful to and turned on by one woman, all at the same time?
Kendra.
He groaned, gritting his teeth as he switched to one-armed push-ups, not caring that he’d need another shower if he kept this up.
All day he’d kept his attraction to her in check—despite the fact that she looked good enough to pour in a glass and serve on ice in that body-hugging gray pencil skirt and knee-high boots. In spite of the electricity humming along the surface of his skin when she’d placed her hand on his, comforting him. But seeing her in the tub with her slick brown skin and wet curls—that was more than any man could be expected to handle.
He’d tried to distract himself by counting the bathroom tiles and studying every feature of that damn bathroom like he’d have a pop quiz on it the next morning. Still, his eyes roamed back to her in that tub again and again. Fortunately, she’d been too busy talking to Kai to notice.
Nate slipped on his flannel pajama bottoms and slippers, then padded to the kitchen for a snack. He opened the fridge and smiled. Wade and Greer had stocked it with leftovers.
Nate cut a few slices of ham, then added some macaroni and cheese and green bean casserole to his plate before heating it in the microwave.
“What smells so good?”
Nate turned, startled by Kendra moving toward him in purple pajamas. Her damp curls were wrapped in a white turban.