by Pat Wahler
Tickets in hand, he led me to the train. We squeezed past a crush of other passengers, excusing ourselves as we went along.
When we found our seat, Jesse put his hand over mine. “I’m still played out. Do you mind if I sleep for a while?”
“Of course not. But Jesse,” I couldn’t resist asking, “when you went out… where did you go?”
“Just jawing with the boys. Went on a lot longer than I realized, and I’m sorry. You won’t hold it against me, will you, sweetheart?”
I shook my head, and he sighed, leaning back and pulling his bowler hat low. I turned to the window that framed countryside pretty enough to be a painting and considered what he said. My mind had become as suspicious as a detective’s. It would be folly not to trust my own husband. So, I turned my fears into anticipation over trips we would take, dreaming of adventures like those in the stories I’d read. My lips curved up when I thought about little Robert Archie and opened my fan to wave air toward my face.
Someday, children would come to us. Then we’d settle in a place of our own, as my sisters and Susie had done. He’d stop running, and we’d put down roots. I half-closed my eyes and in a prickle of nervous longing, I pictured a beautiful baby with eyes like Jesse’s, lying in my arms.
19
My first sight of an endless horizon of water made me forget everything else. I tasted salt on the breeze that blew across the waves and cooled the air. Hungry seabirds pecked in the wet sand, searching for a tidbit that might have washed in with the tide. They screeched and scattered as I strolled by to pick up small pink shells while entire families dressed in bathing costumes waded into the water. I wished I could do the same.
With my arm looped through Jesse’s, we walked past a marina where waves swept against fishing boats, making them rock from side to side in the water. The boats had piles of fish bigger than any string of catfish my brothers had ever caught, but the scent of decaying sea life and wet rope made me put my handkerchief to my nose. My eyes widened when I spied the most unusual creature I’d ever seen waving all eight of its arms in the sun.
Jesse laughed. “That’s a young octopus. They grow up to be a lot bigger than that.” He pulled me away from the strange sight. “Let’s get ready for dinner. We’re going to celebrate being in Galveston, so I’m taking you someplace new.”
I smiled up at him. “That shouldn’t be hard. Everything here is new to me.”
After we changed into our dinner clothes, Jesse hailed a carriage and had the driver take us to J.H. Forbes, an oyster saloon near the harbor. We moved past tables filled with customers who shouted to each another, unlike the restaurants I knew, where the patrons spoke quietly as if in church. Jesse strutted like a rooster, and a few people waved at him. He held up a hand, acknowledging their salutation, and whispered to me that they were some of his old friends.
Our waiter, a brusque man in a white shirt with sleeves rolled to his elbow, took us to a table.
“Bring me a bottle of your finest champagne, sir, and a plate of oysters,” Jesse told him.
Wide-eyed, I looked around me. The room clamored with the sounds of dishes rattling and voices that competed to be heard.
“This is unlike anything I’ve ever seen before,” I said. “And now oysters and champagne too? I’ve never tasted either one.”
He laughed and ran a finger down my cheek. “Then its time you do.”
We’d been in our seat for only a few moments when two men sitting at a table near us began to snarl at each other. Their voices boomed louder and louder, until both men leapt to their feet, raising fists as though ready to fight. I stared with my heart in my throat, but Jesse watched mildly, his hand resting against his hip where I knew he carried a pistol.
Within moments, a man with arms like a blacksmith came to their table and roared at them.
“You men can either shut up or get out.”
The combatants glowered, but then recovered themselves and sat down to swill more of the foamy beer.
“What was that about?” I asked Jesse when I caught my breath.
“Probably too much drink. If it were any real problem, they wouldn’t have talked, just started punching … or worse.”
“I’ve never seen such behavior in public, or anywhere else for that matter.”
“That’s mild compared to what’s happened here before. Men have drawn knives or even guns when tempers grow hot enough. That’s what I like about this place. You never know what might happen.”
I scooted to the edge of my chair, wondering if I might need to jump up and run. Jesse put his hand over mine and squeezed.
“Stop worrying. I’ll make sure you stay safe.” He poured another glass of champagne. Sipping the bubbly liquid soon helped me relax enough to ignore my surroundings and grow giddy as a young colt.
When the plate of oysters arrived, I stared at it dubiously.
“Tip the shell to your mouth,” he said, “and let the oyster slide in. A bite or two, then swallow. Here, I’ll show you.”
I watched him first and then picked up a shell and bravely put it to my lips. I grimaced at the taste, gritty and salty as sand and sea. The second one went down easier. By the third oyster, I’d either grown to like the flavor or the champagne had convinced me the slippery seafood had turned to ambrosia. I ate until my stomach grew tight with food. Then Jesse paid the bill, leaving a tip that made me suck in my breath.
By the time the buggy got us back to our room, my legs were so wobbly, Jesse had to carry me to our bed.
Much later, after he had fallen asleep, I sat up and wrapped my arms around my knees, wishing we could go on this way forever. But I’d noticed Jesse scanning the newspapers with brows knitted as though searching for something. A week later, he confirmed what I feared.
“It’s time we leave for home.”
“And where would home be?”
“For now, we’ll go to Kansas City.”
I pushed back my hair and regarded him with a wistful smile. “I wish we didn’t have to leave Galveston.”
He put his arm around my waist and squeezed. “We’ll come again someday. There’re a lot of other places you’ll like just as much. But Ma’s been on my mind. I need to figure out what I can do for her. From the sound of her letter, she could use some help taking care of the farm.”
“Will we be able to take the cars together?”
“Not when we’re traveling to Kansas City. I’ll make arrangements for someone to meet you at the station and get there soon as I can.”
We didn’t speak much on the way to the depot. He handed my bag to the porter and kissed me. “Good-bye, sweetheart,” he whispered. “I’ll see you very soon.”
I settled into my seat and leaned back. My eyes closed and I fell into a deep sleep, dreaming that Jesse bought us a small cottage in Galveston that stood so near the sea, we could watch the waves flow to the shore. He took out a fishing boat to search for treasure buried under the water, while I cooked a fat mackerel for dinner.
When the train reached Kansas City, the whistle blew and I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and stretched. I’d been dreaming for hours.
The depot held its usual crowd of travelers. After stepping to the platform, I searched for a familiar face among them, realizing I had no idea who Jesse planned to send. When I saw a tall man with a long beard, I laughed in delight before I could speak a word. “It’s been too long. How I wish you could have been with us at our wedding.”
Frank picked up my bag and grinned, leading me away from the crush of people. “I’m sorry to have missed your nuptials, but it just so happens that while you were gone, I had a wedding of my own.”
I stopped walking and my mouth dropped open like one of the fish I’d seen in Galveston. “What did you say?”
“I married a young lady by the name of Miss Annie Ralston.”
My hand flew to my chest. “I heard you were courting, but nothing of an engagement.”
“We had to keep it a secret from everyon
e. Her father doesn’t approve of me, so when he put his foot down, she packed and left home. We met up in Omaha and got married there on June sixth.”
“Well … congratulations. Does Jesse know?”
“Not yet, but he will soon enough. I expect him to arrive within days.”
I absorbed this new information. “When will I meet your wife?”
“Very soon. But for the time being, we have other business to take care of. Jesse asked me to take you to the rooms he rented until he can figure out the best place for you to go. He says I’m to remind you about never using your real name. You two will be John and Josie Howard, so it’s important you remember that.”
I said the new names out loud, tasting them on my tongue until the words were natural rather than forced. But even such an odd exercise could not take away my joy at the possibility of seeing my brothers and sisters who lived near Kansas City. I had no idea how long it would take for Jesse to return and feared the specter of loneliness. I knew such a state of mind brought the risk of a blue spell and fiddled with a button on my dress.
Frank drove us to a wood-clad house with a “For Rent” sign in front, not far from the depot, and settled me inside before kissing my cheek and leaving. I looked at the sparsely furnished rooms and pushed up my sleeves to set about making it into a home, albeit a temporary one.
By the next afternoon, I’d been to the mercantile for supplies, and not a single speck of dust could be found in the house. Even the gray film on the windows had been scrubbed away. The only thing left to do was to wash the floors, so I dropped to my knees and dipped a rag into the bucket of water. I’d finished half the floor, when the front door opened. Pausing, I waited with my heart pounding, until Jesse called out to me. I threw down the rag and ran to my husband, wrapping my damp arms around his travel-dusty neck. We kissed as though we’d been separated for months rather than days.
When we drew apart, he looked at me and grinned. “You get prettier every time I see you.”
I tucked the hair wisping from its pins and wished my dress wasn’t wet with perspiration and dirty mop water.
“I’ve been cleaning and must look a fright, but thank you for being gallant enough not to mention it. Can I fix you something to eat?”
“Not just yet. I went to the farm first to take care of some things for Ma, then came straight to you. Frank and I have a meeting today. We’re planning a new business venture. I shouldn’t be away long, but when I get back, you can be sure I’ll be hungry enough to eat a horse.”
I nodded and tried not to let my disappointment show. At least the pantry was well stocked, so I could easily impress him with my cooking prowess. I thumped an iron skillet on the table and hoped there would be time to make myself fresh as a new bride before he returned. I intended to make the first meal in our new little house one he would remember.
20
Over the next few weeks, Jesse spent most of his days and nights with me. Our relationship deepened in ways I hadn’t dreamed possible. He brought home flowers for no reason, and I happily seduced him with his favorite foods. Not even the bothersome requirement of assumed names could dim my pleasure at being Jesse’s wife.
August arrived, thick with heat and humidity. I sweltered near the fire in the kitchen, when Jesse came in and announced that he and Frank planned to leave to investigate some opportunities for investment.
“We both have families now and must support our wives in the manner they deserve,” he said.
I wiped my sleeve over my forehead. “Where are you going?”
“There are several places we mean to check out, but you shouldn’t worry. I’ll be back soon. Go stay with your sister if it makes you feel easier, but I don’t foresee any trouble. Just in case, I’ve cleaned and loaded one of my old pistols to ease your mind. It’s in the bedroom. Use it if you have to.”
“Why can’t I go? It’s been so wonderful being here together.”
His lips pursed before he shook his head. “I can’t take a wife along with me when my mind has to be focused on business.” He put a finger under my chin and gently tipped it up it. “I promise not to be gone long. A bee doesn’t stay away from a flower, does he? No, because he needs its nectar to live.”
Jesse pulled me close, and my breath left with a gasp. He rubbed his hand up and down my back and nuzzled my hair.
“Just remember you’re Josie Howard and I’m John Davis Howard, although in case you wonder, Frank has taken to calling me Dave.” Jesse pulled back and the ghost of a smile played at his mouth. “He thinks it’s a better fit than the name of an apostle.”
His fingers laced through mine. “Visit with your sisters and brothers as much as you want but keep away from those you don’t know. If anyone outside our kin asks about me, just say I’m away on business, looking to buy a farm.”
Jesse leaned down to kiss me good-bye, and his eyes gleamed with excitement. He loved to flit from one place to another, and I wanted to share that part of his life. My stomach dropped, and I buried my head against his chest, though I willed myself not to cry. His last image of me tshouldn’t be one of puffy eyes and a runny nose. Jesse was the first to pull away, flashing a grin so mischievous, it made me smile back in spite of myself.
“Jess, don’t take any foolish chances, please.”
“Always. And you’ll be glad to know Frank says he’ll bring Annie here after we get back. She can hardly wait to meet you.”
I tilted my head. “Is she in Kansas City, too?”
“No. Her father has money enough to hire people to look for her. He’s not the least bit happy she married the notorious Frank James.”
Sympathy for my new sister-in-law flooded through me. My own mother had cut me from her life when I married Jesse and it pained me to realize we might never reconcile our differences. But at least my brothers and sisters had not abandoned me. Annie had no one but Frank.
“I think she and I will have much to talk about.”
He arched a brow. “Don’t all women like to gab? By the way, Frank uses the name Ben Woodson now. He changed Annie’s name to Fannie, so don’t let yourself slip when others are around.”
While I waited for Jesse to return, I couldn’t stop wondering about what he and Frank were up to. I hoped their new venture would finally put them on the right side of the law, although I certainly didn’t want him to include the likes of the Younger brothers or Clell Miller, men from the Bushwhacker days, in any of his business affairs.
I kept myself busy as I’d always done, filled with pleasure at being mistress of my own home and able to decorate it just as I wanted. I arranged a bouquet of Black-eyed Susans I found growing near the road on a quaint table in the parlor. A colorful quilt from Zerelda fit perfectly folded over our bed. I measured the windows and walked to the mercantile to buy red-checked cotton fabric to sew curtains for the kitchen. When Jesse returned, he’d find a little house transformed into our own special home.
In the meantime, my family came to visit in dribs and drabs. Lucy proudly showed off her new baby girl. I cuddled the infant, studied her perfect features, and cooed every time she gurgled or moved a finger.
Lucy watched me with concern written on her face. “Some detectives came to our house a few days ago asking questions about Jesse and Frank. I’m worried for you, Zee. Are you certain he can keep you both from harm?”
“If anyone can do it, Jesse can. I trust him with my life and know he’ll take good care of me.” I couldn’t keep the wisp of a shadow from my voice. “I only hope he takes equal care of himself.”
“I’ve spent so much time praying marriage would be an anchor for Jesse. Do you think he’ll ever abandon his wandering life and stay home with you for good?”
My fingers picked at small pieces of lint on the baby’s blanket. “Truthfully, I’m not sure. Though his wandering wouldn’t bother me so much if we could go together. Perhaps he needs convincing that I’d be helpful when he travels.”
“Zee, don’t go with him unle
ss he gives up defying the law. It would be too dangerous.”
“Or the best thing that ever happened. I’ve yet to see him do anything illegal when he’s with me.”
Lucy’s eyes did not meet mine, so I hurried to change the subject. “In any event, we’ve talked about moving someday, maybe to Texas, near Susie and Alan. The trouble is both he and Frank worry about Zerelda. She has so much on her hands with the children and the farm. And Reuben’s condition isn’t getting any better.”
Zerelda’s husband had continued his slow but steady decline, and I realized this small sorrow provided another reason Jesse would be reluctant to leave Missouri for any length of time.
After Lucy left, her concerns magnified mine. I found myself looking out the window more frequently, twisting a towel between my hands at every sound. I’d had no word from Jesse except a scrawled note delivered by a nameless rider. The note said he planned to return near the end of September, and I comforted myself that at least he was alive. Then I remembered with a start how similar my thoughts were to those from before we were wed. Like Lucy, I had hoped marriage would settle him.
For the time being, I had no choice but to live my life normally as possible. It wasn’t easy. The first time I played the role of Josie Howard, my cheeks sizzled with embarrassment. But soon the deception became second nature. One afternoon, I walked to the mercantile to restock the pantry, and noticed a small poster tacked on the wall. It offered a reward for information leading to the arrest of Jesse or Frank James. My stomach lurched, and I swallowed before going inside to see Mr. Arnell, the shop clerk.
“Good morning, Mrs. Howard, what can I do for you today?”
I handed him my list and watched as he measured out sugar, flour, and coffee to my satisfaction. A newspaper on the counter caught my eye, declaring the James gang had struck again. My hand shook when I paid Mr. Arnell and he put the change in my palm.