by Ashlyn Chase
“Is there anything I can do?” Drake asked.
She thought about it for a few minutes. “No. You’ve already done more than anyone else could have. Actually, I don’t know. Maybe you can explain something…”
“Explain what? Death?”
“No. I’m quite feckin’ familiar with death. That’s why I rarely get close to anyone. They just get to the point of interesting me more than they annoy me, and then they go and die. It sucks.”
“Yes it does.”
“Is that why you gave up your immortality for Bliss?”
He smiled. “Yes.”
He didn’t have to say any more. If she’d had a chance to spend a normal life with Ryan and then give up living when he did, she might have to think about it for a millisecond.
“Well, I’m glad Bliss changed her mind and you both became immortal as a result. Was Gaia upset about it?”
Drake chuckled. “Oh, you could say that. But Bliss can dig her way out of trouble just as easily as she gets herself into it.”
“How so?”
“She recognizes her worth. She knew Gaia needed her to be a modern muse, and she hammered out an agreement with her until they were both satisfied.”
“I assume you were part of that agreement.”
Drake nodded. “I was to have my immortality back and she would become the muse of email. As a minor goddess, that gave Bliss immortality too. Gaia wanted her to be the muse of the entire Internet, but I don’t think Mother Nature realized what an impossible task that was.”
Chloe sat silent for a while.
Drake narrowed his gaze. “Are you okay?”
“I’m just doing what Gaia suggested. Thinking of all the possibilities. I’m no good with the Internet. Is she looking for any other positions?”
Drake cleared his throat. “It’s not as if she advertises. In fact, I’m pretty sure the offer has to come from her. If you want to work for her at some point, you’d be better off not insulting her.”
Chloe focused on the hardwood floor at her feet and mulled that over. “I don’t think I insulted her—yet. Did I?”
“No, but you came close. I only know that because I’ve seen Bliss walk that line. You remind me of her, in a way.”
“I remind you of who? Bliss?”
“Yeah. She has a tendency to spit out what she’s thinking before she has a chance to think about the consequences.”
“Oh.” Chloe pondered that for a moment. “And she became the muse of email? Isn’t that one of the risks? People who say things in an email that they later regret?”
Drake smiled. “Exactly. And who better to recognize the potential disaster before it happens?”
“Someone with prior experience,” Chloe supplied.
“Yup.”
It was true that Chloe didn’t have a lot of experience with problems of the modern world. Even if Gaia was looking for help, she might have nothing to offer her.
But at some point, Chloe might make this disaster count for something…somehow. She just had to keep her eyes, ears, and mind open, hoping that someday she’d recognize how this horrible experience might help someone else. It sounded like new age prattle, but it was all she had to hold on to at the moment.
With a sigh, she said, “I think I’ll be all right, Drake. I know you have a wife and a baby to get home to…”
“Are you sure? Can I get Rory or Amber over here before I leave?”
She smiled weakly. “I’m not on suicide watch, Drake. I’ll be fine. Besides, I think I need a little time to process this, alone.”
He patted her shoulder. “I’m just a phone call away if you need me.”
“Thanks. You’ve already helped, more than you realize.”
* * *
It was all Ryan could do not to shift back and explain to his family that Chloe had to know he was alive…and that she’d probably understand. But if he came out of phoenix form, he’d have to be incinerated again and start the aging process all over.
That’s what had happened when he was seven. He’d come back too soon, and suddenly baby Gabe had a twin. His parents couldn’t stand incinerating an infant, so they hadn’t. That’s how he became the middle child.
No, it was better if he reincarnated in his adult form as soon as possible and told her himself.
Weeks ago, he had hidden in the trees above his own funeral procession. Chloe had marched in her dress uniform, if you could call it marching. She kept up with the others but she looked like a zombie. She may have been hung over, but he’d never known her to drown her sorrows. He suspected it was simply grief over his “passing.”
As he soared above the twinkling lights of the nighttime cityscape, his mind wandered.
He’d taken a chance by giving her a good look at himself in his alternate form. He wasn’t sure what he’d seen through the smoke, but he was pretty sure Chloe was hiding a paranormal secret identity of her own. If he’d had to name it, he’d say he had been looking at a dragon. But dragons weren’t real, were they?
Hell. No one would guess that phoenixes are real either.
He’d managed to get out of the house with Luca’s help, mostly at night. He wasn’t your usual nondescript brown bird, so he had to be careful. It wouldn’t do for some bird watcher to snap a picture of his yellow and orange tail and try to identify the unusual species. Yet, he’d take the chance to watch over Chloe.
When she wasn’t on shift, she walked the darkened streets at night, staring at the sidewalk as if she didn’t care who might sneak up behind and try to rob her—or worse. And as much as it was forbidden, he’d peck the eyes out of anyone who might hurt her. Would she know who he was?
She’d seen him. He was sure of it.
Would she know he still loved her? Was there a way to let her know? He’d been wracking his maturing brain, trying to come up with a way. It was almost St. Patrick’s Day, and before this all happened, she’d let him know she’d rather burn in hell than march in the St. Paddy’s Day parade. He should be able to shift into his mature body by then.
Only one thing nagged at him. She’d said she couldn’t have children. Was that because she wasn’t human? His mother was human but gave birth to shifters. Maybe if a shifter spent most of his or her time as a human, it was enough. He couldn’t help wondering if dragons were the same way.
He’d be disappointing his family, especially his parents, if he chose to remain childless. His father was set on Ryan taking over as head of the family, and that included populating the South End brownstone with a family of his own.
In time his father and mother would have to fake their own deaths and move on, so as not to raise eyebrows when they reached a couple hundred years old. Phoenixes could live to be five hundred.
Well, it didn’t look as if she was going to come out tonight. Maybe she was finally able to sleep.
Maybe she was moving on…
The thought pained him, but he didn’t want her to continue suffering either. He hoped she’d forgive him when he returned.
* * *
On March 17, as Chloe was reading, Haggarty knocked, then poked his head around her bedroom door. He’d been awfully kind and attentive to her since Ryan had passed, left, or whatever he’d done…
She remembered what Ryan had told her about Haggarty wanting to ask her out and prayed he wouldn’t. She reinforced her disinterest in dating a firefighter, but they all knew she and Ryan had been a couple. She didn’t know how they knew, but they knew.
“Hey, it’s almost parade time.”
“I told you, I’m staying right where I am.”
“Come on. The non-Irish firefighters are filling in for all of us. We even got an extra Fierro in case you changed your mind.”
“I won’t change me mind.”
“Is this just because you’re from Ulster?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, wear an orange arm band or something.”
She tossed the book on the floor and sat up abruptly. “I’m not marchin’ in the feckin’ parade and that’s my final answer!”
He backed away with his hands up. “Okay, okay. It’s a beautiful day though. The first one in a long time. Try to enjoy that much. Open your window or something.”
“I’ll do that.” She narrowed her eyes, hoping he’d get the hint and leave her alone. Fortunately he did.
She sighed and rose. Fresh air did sound good, so she opened her window wide. Leaning on the sill, she noticed there was a light chill despite the sunshine. It could be a spring day in Ireland. But this weather was even more welcome, because of the horrible Boston winter. The frigid cold seeped right through her gloves whenever she climbed the metal ladder. Going back to Ireland was looking better and better.
The ladder engine below started up. The Back Bay firehouse had the “honor” of showing off their rig with Chief O’Brian riding shotgun.
She was relieved when it finally pulled out, leaving her to her book.
An hour later, after rereading the same paragraph three times, she decided it was time to grab a cup of coffee. She had half expected one of the Fierros to make an appearance, just to say hello. Maybe they didn’t know what to say to her after that. But that went both ways. She could say a quick hello and then return to her room with her coffee.
She set down her book, rose, and stretched. Before she had a chance to leave, something swooped past her, ruffling her hair. In through her window had flown the beautiful bird that rose from Ryan’s ashes. It landed on her bed.
She rushed to the door and shut it. Somehow she just knew this special bird shouldn’t be seen by anyone but her. She crept back and sat gingerly beside it.
The bird didn’t fly away. She reached out and was about to pat its head when the bird fell over onto its side and grew—and changed. She watched breathlessly as the body lost its feathers and fine dark hair covered its head.
In a matter of seconds, a naked man lay beside her. His legs dangled over one side of the twin bed and his head over the other side. When he levered himself up, she saw Ryan’s beautiful face.
She blinked hard. “Ryan?” she whispered.
He pushed himself up and nodded. He tried to speak, but had to stop and clear his throat a couple of times first.
“It’s me, Chloe.” Gazing down at his nakedness, he grinned. “In the flesh.”
She fell on top of him and pinned him to the mattress. As she covered him with kisses, he laughed.
Chapter 17
Ryan and Chloe cuddled but didn’t dare make love in the firehouse. Even though Chloe wanted to figure out how to “keep it down,” Ryan wanted to make her scream. He was trying to hold her without getting hard, but it was impossible.
Then he remembered that there were some things they should talk about, which might be like throwing cold water over him. Perfect timing.
He propped himself up on his elbow. “So, my love, you know my secret, but I’m not entirely sure I know yours.”
“I’ll be glad to tell you, but I need to know more about you too. I take it we’re both shifters.”
“So it would seem.” He couldn’t help grinning. This conversation with Melanie had gone so wrong. Chloe was taking it entirely differently…but he really did need to know more about what he’d seen. “I’m a phoenix. And you are…”
She stuck her hand out as if introducing herself for the first time. “Chloe Arish. Dragon. Pleased to meet you, phoenix.”
He chuckled and shook her hand. “I didn’t know dragons existed.”
“And I didn’t know phoenixes were real. How about that? We both thought the other was a legend.”
They shrugged and at the same time said, “Legends had to come from somewhere.” Then they laughed.
“I’m happier than you can imagine,” Ryan said.
“Why is that?”
“Well, for one, I don’t have to hide my family’s supernatural secret from you.”
She bit her lip. “I take it you had to lie to Melanie. She was human, right?”
“Yes. She was human, but no, I didn’t lie. When I proposed and she said yes, I knew I had to tell her the truth. Sandra handled it when Miguel told her, and I expected some kind of disbelief at first, but I thought eventually she’d come to accept me with all my, um…quirks. It’s what couples do.”
Chloe nodded. “Ideally, yes. I take it she never got to that point.”
“She didn’t even try. She ran from me. Wouldn’t talk to me. I was afraid she was going to call the men in white coats.”
“The who?”
Ryan chuckled. “It’s an expression, meaning psychiatric hospital staff. She would have asked them to lock me up.”
“Oh. Well, that’s nasty. I hope she didn’t actually do that.”
“No. I think she realized that if she reported a shapeshifter, she’d be the one locked up.”
After a brief silence, Chloe asked, “Didn’t you get the Gaia lecture?”
“The what?”
“The lecture that Gaia—Mother Nature—gives to paranormals about revealing their existence to humans, or specifically, not to. Remember that staff member who dragged me away from the weight bench at the gym?”
“Yeah…” he said apprehensively.
“That was Gaia in disguise. I got a stern lecture in the ladies’ locker room.”
“Seriously?” Ryan had thought he’d heard everything about the supernatural. Apparently there were a few gaps in his knowledge. He wondered if the rest of his family knew that Mother Nature herself was monitoring their activities. His father must know. But why would he keep a secret like that from his family?
“I don’t get it. I’m not human. Why would she care if you revealed yourself to me?”
Chloe shrugged. “You weren’t the only person in the gym. If anyone had seen me lifting that much weight, they’d have whipped out their cameras and YouTubed it to the world.”
He loved the way she used a technical term as a verb—that was happening with a whole generation, the generation she was learning “American-speak” from. He had to admit, it was an effective way to communicate. He knew exactly what she meant. He swept some of her silky hair behind her ear. “I love you, you know.”
She surprised him by shoving his chest. “Then why did you feckin’ leave me? You saw what I was, and I saw you. So why did you put me through two months of hell, thinkin’ me brain made up somethin’ it wanted to see and that you were actually dead?”
He captured her hand in his and held it to his heart. “I wanted to explain it to you in the worst way. I had hoped my family might hint at it, but I should have known they wouldn’t. We treat our secret as seriously as Mother Nature wants us to.” Maybe that’s why I never heard about her. Maybe she only shows up when a paranormal is about to screw up.
“What kept you? Why didn’t you explain it to me yerself before now?”
“I had to grow up all over again. If I’d shifted right away, I’d have come back as an infant and I couldn’t tell you squat.”
Her brow wrinkled as if she didn’t quite understand.
“In our bird form, we mature much faster. But once we reincarnate, we’ll stay whatever age is parallel in human years. I’d thought about coming back at age seven or eight, just to ask my family to clue you in, but there was no guarantee they would, and then they’d have to incinerate me and let me start all over again until I reached my prime.”
Chloe’s wide eyes and slightly open mouth just meant she was listening attentively, but he couldn’t help wanting
to kiss her. Ah, hell. What was stopping him?
He pulled her tight to his chest as he took possession of her lips. Taking advantage of that open mouth, he slipped his tongue in and she responded instantly. She wrapped her arm around him and twined her fingers in his hair.
Kissing her was one of the things he’d missed most. They fit together perfectly and her hot mouth drove him wild.
When they finally broke the kiss, they were both breathing hard.
“I can’t get off this feckin’ shift rotation fast enough. As soon as we can have some privacy, I’ll ask Rory and Amber to take a hike and we can make love in every room of their B and B.”
He laughed. “I like the sound of that.”
“Me too. I’m still a little confused, but maybe you can explain it again later. Right now all I want to do is kiss you.”
* * *
He gave her a quick tap on her pert nose. “It’s your turn now. What can you tell me about your dragon side? And don’t forget to include the part about not being able to have children. Is that because a dragon and a human can’t mate for some reason?”
“Ah. Well, here’s the thing. We can mate till the cows give their milk for free, but we can’t create life. Gaia, in her infinite wisdom, felt the need to keep our numbers down. Probably because we’re capable of incineratin’ her lovely landscape.” She sighed. “At any rate, female dragons are only fertile once every five years and only for one month. If we happen to mate with another dragon during that time, we’ll probably have a baby dragon or two.”
“Two?”
“Twins have been known to happen. That’s what led to a bloody battle between… Ah, shite. You don’t want the whole history lesson.”
“Sure I do.”
Chloe sighed. “Okay, get comfortable.”
Ryan reclined on her bed with his hands interlocked behind his neck. “I’m ready.”
“You’d better cover yerself or I’m bound to get distracted.”
He grabbed her pillow and used it to cover his growing erection.